Dear Friends,
I have mentioned in previous postings the writings of one author who called cancer, "The Emperor of All Maladies." That is the motivation behind today's post title. While I have made great progress under the care of Dr. Matthew Taylor, the empire has struck back and I have a tumor growing in my belly that has the potential to create a blockage. Therefore, Dr. Taylor has enlisted Surgical Oncologist Dr. John Vetto to perform a second surgery on December 18th at OHSU. They are confident that this will buy us some more time to consider other treatment options. This is a preventative surgery before the blockage occurs. I may not be able to be home for Christmas, but Hannah said, "Dad, Christmas is wherever we are." A beautiful sentiment.
I am hopeful that this will lead us in another direction that will stem the growth and development of existing and new tumors. Melanoma is a sneaky enemy. New treatments are out now that were not available when I began my cancer journey two years ago. That said, I have asked God, and am asking you, to continue to be involved in my treatment and potential healing. Your positivism and loving care have made such a huge difference for me on the path I have travelled. The experience would have been so much more frightening without you! Thank you for caring!
On a practical matter, I am asking any of you who are interested to go immediately to willkeim.com
and order your copy(ies) of the Special Limited Edition of "The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for A World of Hurt." I only printed 500 copies and they will be signed, and numbered. My children have said that they will mail them but I think we need to have your orders by December 17th. Cost is $39.95 per copy. The books are on their way here right now and I know they will be a great Christmas present for you and or your friends. I know this may seem like a mundane matter compared to cancer surgery but it gives me something else to do and think about. I appreciate your support and interest in my work and only encourage you not to put this off.
Blessings and love!
Will Keim
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
'Tis The Season!
Dear Friends,
Season's greetings to you from our home. It is always amazing how fast this time of the year seems to go once we celebrate Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then BAM!, Christmas. Many of our friends will begin their Hanukkah celebration at sundown on December 6th, some the beginning of Kwanzaa on December 26th, but everyone has the opportunity to remember the blessings of family, friends, and faith. We all, regardless of tradition, pause to remember those that are disenfranchised from their family, friends, and faith. This can be a very lonely time of the year for them, especially the children.
I want to talk to you about two things today. The first is my health report card, and the second is an opportunity to provide your family and friends with a unique and personal seasonal gift that will also be a blessing to our family. First the health report card...
This week I return to OHSU's Knight Cancer Center for a CT Scan Friday that will track my 'unruly cells' growth and development. I have had a couple of areas, masses, or tumors depending on the vernacular, growing slowly despite the two drugs I am on. For the most part I have been feeling very well and my energy level has been good. I hit a high of 14.1 on the hemoglobin scale which put me in the normal range. A far cry from the 5.6 which put me in the "Wow, how are you not passing out?" area of the scale when this all began. Monday I will return to Portland for my eye test with Dr. Gupta, and then my meeting with Dr. Matthew Taylor. He has been in dialogue with Novartis, the sponsor of my Clinical Trial, about adding a third 'investigational' drug to my cancer cocktail. I mean what I am about to say with my whole heart...I pray to Sweet Jesus every night that these drugs will shrink my tumors and even, with the Grace of God and the Power of the Holy Spirit, heal me. But if I knew that they wouldn't, but the information gained from this trial would save one child or family member from going through what my wife and children have gone through, then it would be worth it. Remember an earlier lesson cancer taught me, and I hope you...Cancer is a family disease housed in one person. I am the host but I am far from the only one in my family impacted by the 'Emperor of All Maladies'; that is, cancer. A friend asked me, "How does it feel to be a guinea pig?" I said, "I always thought they were kind of cute!" Your thoughts and prayers have sustained me, bolstered me, and accompanied me in the middle of the night when the Dark Voice tried to creep in, and I ask and urge you to continue them on my behalf.
Secondly, I want to share with you what I hope you will find to be a wonderful gift idea for friends, family, or even yourself that will also help the Keim family as we move forward with our lives. A little background and another lesson from cancer first. Every cancer host will know exactly what I am saying and I hope this lesson will help the rest of you understand us. When the Doctor says, "You have cancer.", you immediately think you are going to die next Friday. Especially in my case when he added, "Your cancer is fatal, there is no cure." I immediately heard Bill Murray in Scrooged, when he saw the man frozen that he had refused to help, saying, "Hey, throw me a bone here, man!" Because I am a sick and twisted guy, I also heard Rodney Dangerfield in my head saying, "Can I get a second opinion?" Then Dangerfield's Doctor said, "Sure, and you're fat too." You laugh or cry, and sometimes both in a single instant.
I was also reminded of Paul's letter in the New Testament to the Church at Thessalonica. It seems the people there were so sure that Jesus would return immediately that they just sat back and put everything on hold. Paul's letter advised them that God works on His own time schedule and that they should plant their crops, and tend their sheep, just in case the Lord didn't return next Friday. And so it was with me and cancer. Though it is no secret that my speeches are deeper, richer, and more focused than ever before, fewer people are calling now to have me speak, except locally, where I speak at no fee for community service. I think they are trying to be respectful of what they believe is my shrinking time with family and I appreciate that deeply. Some even think I am already gone. Remember the journal entries regarding, "I thought you were dead." from a college friend, and "Will you still be here in September?" Like the Thessalonians, my family and I still need to eat, sleep, and go on with our lives. That is where my dear friend, former protege and mentee, and current colleague Curtis Zimmerman comes in.
Curtis has been very direct with me in telling me that this is the time when he and others whom I have impacted can return the favor to our family. For those of you who do not know him, he is an amazing man, a Father, Husband, and former Universal Studios and Carnival Cruise Lines Entertainer of the Year. He is a bestselling author, a man of faith, the Principal and Founder of the Zimmerman Group. I never met anyone like him and the early family dysfunction and learning disabilities that this man has overcome are Mount Denali like in their scope. He was a mime for 25 years and when I met him he wanted to begin to tell his story using words but had received advice that because he didn't have a college education, he would not be able to speak on college or corporate campuses. I listened to him once and told him he could speak anywhere he wanted as his message "Learning to Fail Successfully, and Living Life at Performance Level" were as good as anything I had ever seen. Thousands of campuses and hundreds of corporations proved me right. The man has a gift and one of them is getting up in my grill and convincing me to provide others with an opportunity to help me as I have helped others.
Curtis is now mentoring me on a national plan to have my books made available to high school and college students across America and Canada with individual and corporate funding. We will make a national announcement about that plan soon. For now, I am pleased to offer a Special Edition of my book 'The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt' for this holiday season. This is my favorite of the books I have written because it integrates and introduces the reader to the beauty of the 'Lessons of The Tao' by Lao Tzu and the 'Parables' of Jesus of Nazareth. They are at once eloquent, ancient, and relevant to modern life.The Tao says, "The oceans are greater than the rivers and the lakes not because it exalts itself over them, but because it is lower, and as such, all life runs into it." Jesus counsels, "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. Blessed are the meek." You will be inspired, amazed, and in wonder about how two writings offered 2500 years apart could be so in synch and applicable to today. The Tao advises, "Governing a country is like cooking a small fish. Too much poking around will ruin it.", and "Knowledge of others is information. Knowledge of self is true power." Jesus encourages, "Love your neighbor as you love your self.", and "Don't judge others, for in the end, you will receive the same judgement."
I have printed 500 Special Limited Edition copies of The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt now available at $39.95 which includes shipping, numbering (1/500, 2/500 etc.) and a personal message as requested by you. I would encourage you to order them at willkeim.com, see the Shop or Store area, where you can utilize your credit card. I can also take phone orders at 541-740-1318 using the secure Square. ***In either case, please send me a text, or email at willkeim@willkeim.com telling me where you want the book shipped and with what message. If you do not email or text, I will sign the book to you with a message from me directed to you. There are only 500 copies so please act today! I would appreciate your order by December 18th at the latest so that I can ship them out on the 19th and get them to their destination by Christmas. A special thank you to Curtis for prodding and pushing me. Frankly, we need the income, the book is great, and I thank you in advance for your friendship and patronage.
Thank you all for your continue interest in my journey. It would have been unbearable alone. I give you my love and friendship as you have extended yours to me! Blessings,
Will Keim
Season's greetings to you from our home. It is always amazing how fast this time of the year seems to go once we celebrate Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then BAM!, Christmas. Many of our friends will begin their Hanukkah celebration at sundown on December 6th, some the beginning of Kwanzaa on December 26th, but everyone has the opportunity to remember the blessings of family, friends, and faith. We all, regardless of tradition, pause to remember those that are disenfranchised from their family, friends, and faith. This can be a very lonely time of the year for them, especially the children.
I want to talk to you about two things today. The first is my health report card, and the second is an opportunity to provide your family and friends with a unique and personal seasonal gift that will also be a blessing to our family. First the health report card...
This week I return to OHSU's Knight Cancer Center for a CT Scan Friday that will track my 'unruly cells' growth and development. I have had a couple of areas, masses, or tumors depending on the vernacular, growing slowly despite the two drugs I am on. For the most part I have been feeling very well and my energy level has been good. I hit a high of 14.1 on the hemoglobin scale which put me in the normal range. A far cry from the 5.6 which put me in the "Wow, how are you not passing out?" area of the scale when this all began. Monday I will return to Portland for my eye test with Dr. Gupta, and then my meeting with Dr. Matthew Taylor. He has been in dialogue with Novartis, the sponsor of my Clinical Trial, about adding a third 'investigational' drug to my cancer cocktail. I mean what I am about to say with my whole heart...I pray to Sweet Jesus every night that these drugs will shrink my tumors and even, with the Grace of God and the Power of the Holy Spirit, heal me. But if I knew that they wouldn't, but the information gained from this trial would save one child or family member from going through what my wife and children have gone through, then it would be worth it. Remember an earlier lesson cancer taught me, and I hope you...Cancer is a family disease housed in one person. I am the host but I am far from the only one in my family impacted by the 'Emperor of All Maladies'; that is, cancer. A friend asked me, "How does it feel to be a guinea pig?" I said, "I always thought they were kind of cute!" Your thoughts and prayers have sustained me, bolstered me, and accompanied me in the middle of the night when the Dark Voice tried to creep in, and I ask and urge you to continue them on my behalf.
Secondly, I want to share with you what I hope you will find to be a wonderful gift idea for friends, family, or even yourself that will also help the Keim family as we move forward with our lives. A little background and another lesson from cancer first. Every cancer host will know exactly what I am saying and I hope this lesson will help the rest of you understand us. When the Doctor says, "You have cancer.", you immediately think you are going to die next Friday. Especially in my case when he added, "Your cancer is fatal, there is no cure." I immediately heard Bill Murray in Scrooged, when he saw the man frozen that he had refused to help, saying, "Hey, throw me a bone here, man!" Because I am a sick and twisted guy, I also heard Rodney Dangerfield in my head saying, "Can I get a second opinion?" Then Dangerfield's Doctor said, "Sure, and you're fat too." You laugh or cry, and sometimes both in a single instant.
I was also reminded of Paul's letter in the New Testament to the Church at Thessalonica. It seems the people there were so sure that Jesus would return immediately that they just sat back and put everything on hold. Paul's letter advised them that God works on His own time schedule and that they should plant their crops, and tend their sheep, just in case the Lord didn't return next Friday. And so it was with me and cancer. Though it is no secret that my speeches are deeper, richer, and more focused than ever before, fewer people are calling now to have me speak, except locally, where I speak at no fee for community service. I think they are trying to be respectful of what they believe is my shrinking time with family and I appreciate that deeply. Some even think I am already gone. Remember the journal entries regarding, "I thought you were dead." from a college friend, and "Will you still be here in September?" Like the Thessalonians, my family and I still need to eat, sleep, and go on with our lives. That is where my dear friend, former protege and mentee, and current colleague Curtis Zimmerman comes in.
Curtis has been very direct with me in telling me that this is the time when he and others whom I have impacted can return the favor to our family. For those of you who do not know him, he is an amazing man, a Father, Husband, and former Universal Studios and Carnival Cruise Lines Entertainer of the Year. He is a bestselling author, a man of faith, the Principal and Founder of the Zimmerman Group. I never met anyone like him and the early family dysfunction and learning disabilities that this man has overcome are Mount Denali like in their scope. He was a mime for 25 years and when I met him he wanted to begin to tell his story using words but had received advice that because he didn't have a college education, he would not be able to speak on college or corporate campuses. I listened to him once and told him he could speak anywhere he wanted as his message "Learning to Fail Successfully, and Living Life at Performance Level" were as good as anything I had ever seen. Thousands of campuses and hundreds of corporations proved me right. The man has a gift and one of them is getting up in my grill and convincing me to provide others with an opportunity to help me as I have helped others.
Curtis is now mentoring me on a national plan to have my books made available to high school and college students across America and Canada with individual and corporate funding. We will make a national announcement about that plan soon. For now, I am pleased to offer a Special Edition of my book 'The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt' for this holiday season. This is my favorite of the books I have written because it integrates and introduces the reader to the beauty of the 'Lessons of The Tao' by Lao Tzu and the 'Parables' of Jesus of Nazareth. They are at once eloquent, ancient, and relevant to modern life.The Tao says, "The oceans are greater than the rivers and the lakes not because it exalts itself over them, but because it is lower, and as such, all life runs into it." Jesus counsels, "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. Blessed are the meek." You will be inspired, amazed, and in wonder about how two writings offered 2500 years apart could be so in synch and applicable to today. The Tao advises, "Governing a country is like cooking a small fish. Too much poking around will ruin it.", and "Knowledge of others is information. Knowledge of self is true power." Jesus encourages, "Love your neighbor as you love your self.", and "Don't judge others, for in the end, you will receive the same judgement."
I have printed 500 Special Limited Edition copies of The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt now available at $39.95 which includes shipping, numbering (1/500, 2/500 etc.) and a personal message as requested by you. I would encourage you to order them at willkeim.com, see the Shop or Store area, where you can utilize your credit card. I can also take phone orders at 541-740-1318 using the secure Square. ***In either case, please send me a text, or email at willkeim@willkeim.com telling me where you want the book shipped and with what message. If you do not email or text, I will sign the book to you with a message from me directed to you. There are only 500 copies so please act today! I would appreciate your order by December 18th at the latest so that I can ship them out on the 19th and get them to their destination by Christmas. A special thank you to Curtis for prodding and pushing me. Frankly, we need the income, the book is great, and I thank you in advance for your friendship and patronage.
Thank you all for your continue interest in my journey. It would have been unbearable alone. I give you my love and friendship as you have extended yours to me! Blessings,
Will Keim
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Cancer Sure Takes A Lot Of Time: Thank You For The Therapy!
Dear Friends,
Yesterday I went up to the Center for Health and Healing at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland, Oregon for my every three week check-up and my six week CT Scan. I was accompanied by my friend Matt Boring, Corvallis High School Principal. Matt was JJ and Hannah's Principal for their Senior Year at CHS, and serves as Sami Keim Arnst's and my boss as Softball Coaches at CHS. He also is Christa Keim Schmeder's supervisor in her role as a teacher at the school. We have become good friends and he wanted to support me by taking me up for the visit. He has also been, in harmony with Athletic Director Bob Holt, the driving force behind the catch up we have done in reaching Title IX equity with the softball field improvements at the school.
The day started with a trip up the tram to OHSU's campus on the hill and an ultra sound of my heart. Then down the mountain to an appointment with Dr. Matt Taylor, my oncologist on the 7th floor. We moved quickly to the Casey Eye Clinic on the 11th floor for an eye exam (one of the potential side effects of the investigational drugs impacts the eyes) and then to the 3rd floor for a CT scan and blood draw. The eventful day at OHSU concluded on the 12th floor at the Research Pharmacy to pick up the drugs. A quick stop at Gustav's Bargarten in Salem for late lunch brought the greater part of 10 hours to a close. Thanks to Matt for driving us home as even with sunglasses on, my dilated eyes made the overcast Oregon Fall afternoon look like a Southern California Summer beach day.
We do this every three weeks, with the CT Scan every six weeks and Echo Cardiograms replacing it on the off treatment day. They are doing all they can to keep me alive and well and I am thankful. Dr. Matthew Taylor said, "You look well. You don't look like someone who has cancer." Matt Boring and I talked about the impact of cancer on our high school on our drive as we have lost a beloved soccer coach recently to brain cancer and have a band instructor and her husband both fighting the disease along with me. That's four people, their families, friends, and co-workers at one high school in a small town. Makes you stop and think.
My results were mostly good with all but one tumor shrinking or staying the same. The one tumor that is growing slowly is near my intestines again and Dr. Taylor thinks it could create the same bleeding problem I had before. So next Tuesday November 3rd I will meet with Dr. John Vetto at OHSU. He is a surgical oncologist as one of the three options I talked about with Dr. Taylor is surgical removal of the tumor. There are other drug therapy options available, and a newly approved drug combination, but the surgery might be the best. I was sitting with Traci Klink Garets, our dear friend who herself is battling breast cancer with radiation, and Donna when I got the news from Dr. Taylor. GOD...is was good not to be alone. Every time I am riding with a buddy like Matt Boring or sitting next to my amazing wife and a 30 year friend, my heart aches for anyone who is facing cancer alone. And more so for the children whose lives really haven't gotten started yet. This morning I was talking with Mark Hartley to whom I spoke to as a Freshman at the University of Redlands in 1986 and with whom I have been friends with since that night and I ask him to pray for me. He said, "God, please be with Will..." That is, he went to prayer immediately and taught me something. Why wait?
He finished his prayer and then we said goodbye. I felt better. This afternoon, the event known as Addie, my Granddaughter, will come over after pre-school and my mind will shift from thinking about cancer to trying to create memories for her and see the world through her amazed filled eyes. Last week I found an apple at Market of Choice with red flesh and Addie leapt with joy when I cut her a piece of it to eat and she saw the color. It reminded me of taking Hannah to Char Burgess's house in Redlands years ago during a visit to speak for her as the Dean of Students when Char and her husband Larry cut a blood orange open and made Hannah a glass of red orange juice. She sat in wonder! Talks about it to this day.
Cancer sure takes a lot of time. Thank God. I want it to take a lot of time. I want to live a lot of time.
Every third Sunday night I think about all the time I will spend the next day and about the person's time, in this case Matt Boring, that my visit to OHSU will take. Then I get over that quickly because one day I know I won't be going up there anymore and I want that day to be as far off in the future as I can imagine. I want to live each day I get as if it were a red fleshed apple or a blood orange glass of juice. I want to rekindle my sense of amazement at every breath and every moment I am blessed to receive. Thich Nhat Hanh calls it Mindfulness. Buddha talked about Active Inactivity. Being present in the moment is the message. And frankly, I am left with this...
Typing this message to you and your reading of it is really my therapy. I can vent, cry, share, commiserate, and reveal here and know that somewhere someone cares. In that way, I am blessed beyond all measure. When you get not so good news as a cancer patient it feels so very alone. Then, because of you, because of friends like Matt, Traci, and Mark, because of Donna and my children and their husbands, and especially Addie with an assist from Harvey, I am lifted out of my self absorption and my moment of fear and panic into the circle of life. Into hope, faith, and love. Cancer sure takes a lot of time and I get through it because of you and the 'therapy of care' you provide for me. So, thanks again for being there. I will post again after my visit with Dr. Vetto next Tuesday because I not only want you in the loop...I desperately need you in the loop. Get yourselves screened sometime soon, and call, text, or email someone you haven't talked to in awhile and let them know you were thinking of them.
Blessings,
Will
Yesterday I went up to the Center for Health and Healing at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland, Oregon for my every three week check-up and my six week CT Scan. I was accompanied by my friend Matt Boring, Corvallis High School Principal. Matt was JJ and Hannah's Principal for their Senior Year at CHS, and serves as Sami Keim Arnst's and my boss as Softball Coaches at CHS. He also is Christa Keim Schmeder's supervisor in her role as a teacher at the school. We have become good friends and he wanted to support me by taking me up for the visit. He has also been, in harmony with Athletic Director Bob Holt, the driving force behind the catch up we have done in reaching Title IX equity with the softball field improvements at the school.
The day started with a trip up the tram to OHSU's campus on the hill and an ultra sound of my heart. Then down the mountain to an appointment with Dr. Matt Taylor, my oncologist on the 7th floor. We moved quickly to the Casey Eye Clinic on the 11th floor for an eye exam (one of the potential side effects of the investigational drugs impacts the eyes) and then to the 3rd floor for a CT scan and blood draw. The eventful day at OHSU concluded on the 12th floor at the Research Pharmacy to pick up the drugs. A quick stop at Gustav's Bargarten in Salem for late lunch brought the greater part of 10 hours to a close. Thanks to Matt for driving us home as even with sunglasses on, my dilated eyes made the overcast Oregon Fall afternoon look like a Southern California Summer beach day.
We do this every three weeks, with the CT Scan every six weeks and Echo Cardiograms replacing it on the off treatment day. They are doing all they can to keep me alive and well and I am thankful. Dr. Matthew Taylor said, "You look well. You don't look like someone who has cancer." Matt Boring and I talked about the impact of cancer on our high school on our drive as we have lost a beloved soccer coach recently to brain cancer and have a band instructor and her husband both fighting the disease along with me. That's four people, their families, friends, and co-workers at one high school in a small town. Makes you stop and think.
My results were mostly good with all but one tumor shrinking or staying the same. The one tumor that is growing slowly is near my intestines again and Dr. Taylor thinks it could create the same bleeding problem I had before. So next Tuesday November 3rd I will meet with Dr. John Vetto at OHSU. He is a surgical oncologist as one of the three options I talked about with Dr. Taylor is surgical removal of the tumor. There are other drug therapy options available, and a newly approved drug combination, but the surgery might be the best. I was sitting with Traci Klink Garets, our dear friend who herself is battling breast cancer with radiation, and Donna when I got the news from Dr. Taylor. GOD...is was good not to be alone. Every time I am riding with a buddy like Matt Boring or sitting next to my amazing wife and a 30 year friend, my heart aches for anyone who is facing cancer alone. And more so for the children whose lives really haven't gotten started yet. This morning I was talking with Mark Hartley to whom I spoke to as a Freshman at the University of Redlands in 1986 and with whom I have been friends with since that night and I ask him to pray for me. He said, "God, please be with Will..." That is, he went to prayer immediately and taught me something. Why wait?
He finished his prayer and then we said goodbye. I felt better. This afternoon, the event known as Addie, my Granddaughter, will come over after pre-school and my mind will shift from thinking about cancer to trying to create memories for her and see the world through her amazed filled eyes. Last week I found an apple at Market of Choice with red flesh and Addie leapt with joy when I cut her a piece of it to eat and she saw the color. It reminded me of taking Hannah to Char Burgess's house in Redlands years ago during a visit to speak for her as the Dean of Students when Char and her husband Larry cut a blood orange open and made Hannah a glass of red orange juice. She sat in wonder! Talks about it to this day.
Cancer sure takes a lot of time. Thank God. I want it to take a lot of time. I want to live a lot of time.
Every third Sunday night I think about all the time I will spend the next day and about the person's time, in this case Matt Boring, that my visit to OHSU will take. Then I get over that quickly because one day I know I won't be going up there anymore and I want that day to be as far off in the future as I can imagine. I want to live each day I get as if it were a red fleshed apple or a blood orange glass of juice. I want to rekindle my sense of amazement at every breath and every moment I am blessed to receive. Thich Nhat Hanh calls it Mindfulness. Buddha talked about Active Inactivity. Being present in the moment is the message. And frankly, I am left with this...
Typing this message to you and your reading of it is really my therapy. I can vent, cry, share, commiserate, and reveal here and know that somewhere someone cares. In that way, I am blessed beyond all measure. When you get not so good news as a cancer patient it feels so very alone. Then, because of you, because of friends like Matt, Traci, and Mark, because of Donna and my children and their husbands, and especially Addie with an assist from Harvey, I am lifted out of my self absorption and my moment of fear and panic into the circle of life. Into hope, faith, and love. Cancer sure takes a lot of time and I get through it because of you and the 'therapy of care' you provide for me. So, thanks again for being there. I will post again after my visit with Dr. Vetto next Tuesday because I not only want you in the loop...I desperately need you in the loop. Get yourselves screened sometime soon, and call, text, or email someone you haven't talked to in awhile and let them know you were thinking of them.
Blessings,
Will
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
A Constant Reminder
Dear Friends,
I believe it was Hemingway who borrowed from a John Donne poem when he utilized the statement, "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee." I went to my October 5th battery of tests for the Clinical Trial I am on and the results were very positive. Liver, kidney, lung, and heart functions all positive. 14.1 Hemoglobin! Resting heart beat in the '70's, blood pressure great. After looking at all the results, Dr. Matt Taylor said, "I've got nothing for you." Meaning, "I cannot find anything wrong." I said, "You just gave me everything." He smiled and we hugged. I was blessed to have my son-in-law Steve Arnst with me as the family now divides up the escort service since Donna went back to work. I want everyone in my family to meet Dr. Taylor whose positivism is clearly a factor, along with your prayers, in my the success so far in my journey and battle with cancer.
The constant reminder came when Steve and I were walking to my appointment and a woman was laying on the floor in one of the hallways being comforted and cared for by a number of health providers at OHSU. She had become weary on her trip to the office and had to lay down. She was slight, bald, and cancer had obviously been very, very hard on her. When you get to the 7th Floor at the Center for Health and Healing at OHSU, we all have something in common. I looked in her eyes as I went by. Pre-cancer, I used to walk by the Oncology Department at the Corvallis Clinic and not look in because I did not want anyone to think I was staring. At least that is what I told myself. In retrospect, I likely thought if I didn't look in then I would never be there. Now, I looked down at her because I did not want her to think that I thought there was something wrong with her, she looked funny, or I didn't see her.
Three weeks earlier as I sat on the 3rd floor waiting for my blood draw, a woman sat in a wheel chair in the corner waiting to be scanned. I get a CT scan every six weeks so I knew what she was waiting for because she was drinking from the world's largest glass of water. The only way to explain her to you was that she looked like the people who we have seen in the Concentration Camp survivor films from World War II. She was painfully emaciated, all skin and bone. Three sips of the water and she had to bend over to rest, which she could do from the waist down nearly flat because she was so skeletal. It was was heartbreaking. I could have picked out the 7th floor people on the 3rd floor because we were the ones looking as positively toward her as we could. The other folks, quite understandably, looked away, like we often do with homeless people, as if she wasn't there. My son JJ was with me that day and he was visibly moved as was Steve this trip at the woman in the hallway.
The Dark Voice said to me, "What if that is you one day? Can you handle it? Will your children be able to handle it? Will anyone come with you? Will you want to live like that?" I do not want to be offensive to any of you who do not believe, who are not theistic. I respect your strength and courage to be able to face and live on your own. I mean that. I am not that strong and I went immediately to God and asked for comfort, guidance, health, healing, and a miracle for me, and the women I was seeing. I asked God to silence the dark voice and used the statement that Jesus made to Peter when Peter tried to get him to avoid Jerusalem. Jesus said, "Get behind me Satan." In other words, "Shut the fuck up. I am trying to live my life here. I am trying to fulfill my destiny." The constant reminder to me is that while I am doing great right now, I may not be doing great later. And even if I am battling and the medication is working, it is not working right now for someone else. Since I believe we are all connected, we need not ask for whom the bell tolls, it toils for you and me and all of us.
I shared what I had seen with Dr. Taylor and told him that sometimes I feel guilty because I am doing so well. He said he didn't allow any Survivor Guilt with his patients, and that I was something he could hold up to himself and his staff in the midst of the terrible week they had experienced the week before. Steve said on the way home, "Gee, I wonder what a terrible week is for an oncologist like Dr. Taylor?" A great question from a great son-in-law who took a day off work to face the music with me.
Again, the lesson seems to be, "Get in the moment. Seize the day. Be present." We all behave as if we will always be here, the future is secure, and we have control. Control is such an illusion. We are all one phone call away from our knees. Perhaps we should all get on our knees more often when things are going well for the times to come when they aren't going so well. Practice makes perfect. As my friend Geoffrey Canada of the Harlem Children's Zone said, "The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it."
Yesterday I met with the boys and girls soccer teams at Corvallis High School to talk with them about the death of former boys coach John Callahan. JC was beloved and the players were really reeling. Further, they played their rival Crescent Valley that night. 500 shirts were given to all the players from both teams, alumni, and anyone who had been coached by John. He would have wanted them to play the game he loved with all his heart. As you can likely discern, he died of cancer. I talked to them about the rain falling on the just and unjust alike. I told them that I could not prove to them the existence of God, but I could guarantee JC's immortality if they would always remember him, his lessons, his love of them and the sport, and then live each moment with passion and presence. I reminded them of the four student athletes; Beamer, Bingham, Burnett, and Glick who took down the terrorists on United Flight 93. Rick Reilly said they did what all great athletes can do: Keep their composure amid chaos; Form a plan when all seems lost; and Find the guts to carry it out. Lives were lost but many more saved on the ground because they looked death straight in the face and carried on.
I asked the young men and women soccer players to do the same, and through tears they said they would.
And that is exactly what I am trying to do. I am scared to my core that I will wind up in the corner wheel chair on the 3rd floor. Please don't let my outer profile completely hide my inner fear. But I am trying to look at it square in the eye and not look away. I am trying to use the time and health I have right now to do some good for someone else. This also gives me hope and purpose. I pray every night for all cancer patients, their families, and their Doctors, Nurses, and Researchers. I am not asking you to look directly at your mortality, but I am pleading with you, begging you, asking you with all my heart to look at your opportunities to be the person you have always wanted to be, help others on their journey, and tell the people you love that you do love them. As Coach Bruce told JJ and his football teammates shortly before cancer took him home, "Boys, it's all about love. Love is all that matters. Love each other as a band of brothers." Bruce was right. Jesus was right when he said, "Love your neighbors as you love yourself."
My current health is the result of great research, excellent doctoring by Dr. Taylor, good meds, your love and prayers, and the healing power of God to look into a person and cast out the demon diseases within. Let love, not the fear of the future, be the constant reminder that life is good, life is hard, and the love we give one another makes the road less bumpy, the pain more bearable, and the good times even better. Here is your Constant Reminder for today: I love you all!
Will
I believe it was Hemingway who borrowed from a John Donne poem when he utilized the statement, "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee." I went to my October 5th battery of tests for the Clinical Trial I am on and the results were very positive. Liver, kidney, lung, and heart functions all positive. 14.1 Hemoglobin! Resting heart beat in the '70's, blood pressure great. After looking at all the results, Dr. Matt Taylor said, "I've got nothing for you." Meaning, "I cannot find anything wrong." I said, "You just gave me everything." He smiled and we hugged. I was blessed to have my son-in-law Steve Arnst with me as the family now divides up the escort service since Donna went back to work. I want everyone in my family to meet Dr. Taylor whose positivism is clearly a factor, along with your prayers, in my the success so far in my journey and battle with cancer.
The constant reminder came when Steve and I were walking to my appointment and a woman was laying on the floor in one of the hallways being comforted and cared for by a number of health providers at OHSU. She had become weary on her trip to the office and had to lay down. She was slight, bald, and cancer had obviously been very, very hard on her. When you get to the 7th Floor at the Center for Health and Healing at OHSU, we all have something in common. I looked in her eyes as I went by. Pre-cancer, I used to walk by the Oncology Department at the Corvallis Clinic and not look in because I did not want anyone to think I was staring. At least that is what I told myself. In retrospect, I likely thought if I didn't look in then I would never be there. Now, I looked down at her because I did not want her to think that I thought there was something wrong with her, she looked funny, or I didn't see her.
Three weeks earlier as I sat on the 3rd floor waiting for my blood draw, a woman sat in a wheel chair in the corner waiting to be scanned. I get a CT scan every six weeks so I knew what she was waiting for because she was drinking from the world's largest glass of water. The only way to explain her to you was that she looked like the people who we have seen in the Concentration Camp survivor films from World War II. She was painfully emaciated, all skin and bone. Three sips of the water and she had to bend over to rest, which she could do from the waist down nearly flat because she was so skeletal. It was was heartbreaking. I could have picked out the 7th floor people on the 3rd floor because we were the ones looking as positively toward her as we could. The other folks, quite understandably, looked away, like we often do with homeless people, as if she wasn't there. My son JJ was with me that day and he was visibly moved as was Steve this trip at the woman in the hallway.
The Dark Voice said to me, "What if that is you one day? Can you handle it? Will your children be able to handle it? Will anyone come with you? Will you want to live like that?" I do not want to be offensive to any of you who do not believe, who are not theistic. I respect your strength and courage to be able to face and live on your own. I mean that. I am not that strong and I went immediately to God and asked for comfort, guidance, health, healing, and a miracle for me, and the women I was seeing. I asked God to silence the dark voice and used the statement that Jesus made to Peter when Peter tried to get him to avoid Jerusalem. Jesus said, "Get behind me Satan." In other words, "Shut the fuck up. I am trying to live my life here. I am trying to fulfill my destiny." The constant reminder to me is that while I am doing great right now, I may not be doing great later. And even if I am battling and the medication is working, it is not working right now for someone else. Since I believe we are all connected, we need not ask for whom the bell tolls, it toils for you and me and all of us.
I shared what I had seen with Dr. Taylor and told him that sometimes I feel guilty because I am doing so well. He said he didn't allow any Survivor Guilt with his patients, and that I was something he could hold up to himself and his staff in the midst of the terrible week they had experienced the week before. Steve said on the way home, "Gee, I wonder what a terrible week is for an oncologist like Dr. Taylor?" A great question from a great son-in-law who took a day off work to face the music with me.
Again, the lesson seems to be, "Get in the moment. Seize the day. Be present." We all behave as if we will always be here, the future is secure, and we have control. Control is such an illusion. We are all one phone call away from our knees. Perhaps we should all get on our knees more often when things are going well for the times to come when they aren't going so well. Practice makes perfect. As my friend Geoffrey Canada of the Harlem Children's Zone said, "The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it."
Yesterday I met with the boys and girls soccer teams at Corvallis High School to talk with them about the death of former boys coach John Callahan. JC was beloved and the players were really reeling. Further, they played their rival Crescent Valley that night. 500 shirts were given to all the players from both teams, alumni, and anyone who had been coached by John. He would have wanted them to play the game he loved with all his heart. As you can likely discern, he died of cancer. I talked to them about the rain falling on the just and unjust alike. I told them that I could not prove to them the existence of God, but I could guarantee JC's immortality if they would always remember him, his lessons, his love of them and the sport, and then live each moment with passion and presence. I reminded them of the four student athletes; Beamer, Bingham, Burnett, and Glick who took down the terrorists on United Flight 93. Rick Reilly said they did what all great athletes can do: Keep their composure amid chaos; Form a plan when all seems lost; and Find the guts to carry it out. Lives were lost but many more saved on the ground because they looked death straight in the face and carried on.
I asked the young men and women soccer players to do the same, and through tears they said they would.
And that is exactly what I am trying to do. I am scared to my core that I will wind up in the corner wheel chair on the 3rd floor. Please don't let my outer profile completely hide my inner fear. But I am trying to look at it square in the eye and not look away. I am trying to use the time and health I have right now to do some good for someone else. This also gives me hope and purpose. I pray every night for all cancer patients, their families, and their Doctors, Nurses, and Researchers. I am not asking you to look directly at your mortality, but I am pleading with you, begging you, asking you with all my heart to look at your opportunities to be the person you have always wanted to be, help others on their journey, and tell the people you love that you do love them. As Coach Bruce told JJ and his football teammates shortly before cancer took him home, "Boys, it's all about love. Love is all that matters. Love each other as a band of brothers." Bruce was right. Jesus was right when he said, "Love your neighbors as you love yourself."
My current health is the result of great research, excellent doctoring by Dr. Taylor, good meds, your love and prayers, and the healing power of God to look into a person and cast out the demon diseases within. Let love, not the fear of the future, be the constant reminder that life is good, life is hard, and the love we give one another makes the road less bumpy, the pain more bearable, and the good times even better. Here is your Constant Reminder for today: I love you all!
Will
Friday, September 25, 2015
"God Moves Us In Mysterious Ways" or "Listen To Your Inner Voice"
Dear Friends,
I received an email from my dear friend Allan Hardcastle in California. Allan is a Judge and was a Residential Life Staff member at The University Of The Pacific. We have been friends for 40 years. He and Father Robert Silva, Tim Griffin, and Craig Cruikshank came to visit me on what I teased them was "The Will Keim Farewell Tour." I have to use humor to deal with the seriousness of my disease. I do not mean to offend anyone or give the impression I am not taking my cancer seriously. It has my full attention. Once when I tried to read an emotional letter to an Alumni gathering at UOP, Allan stepped up out of the crowd to finish my reading as I was overcome with emotion. He is a good man.
He wrote to me on September 19th, "God moves us in mysterious ways. As Tim knows I just thought it was really important to get up and see Will and now I think I now why!" I had encouraged all four of my dear friends to get themselves checked as melanoma takes on a whole new seriousness when it goes from the skin to the inner workings of our bodies. Allan listened to me and went to see his Doctor. A spot on his upper left arm was diagnosed and biopsied as melanoma. The dermatologist praised him for getting early and thinks the cancer is localized. Allan concluded, "Thanks again Will for your inspiration. I will never forget it." While his heart was focused on being here for me, he was being guided toward a discovery about his own health that might save his life.
God does move us in mysterious ways. Please...for me, for your family, for yourself...listen to your inner voice and get checked out for changes in your moles, or other places on your body. Ask your Doctor to particularly check out your back. My daughter Sami had mentioned a place on my back and actually suggested on more than one occasion that I have it looked at. I don't often see my back and would forget her advice. Perhaps if I had been fully in the present moment and heard her words my situation might be different. That said, I want to inspire you with the lessons cancer has taught me without you having to get it yourself. Please...get checked out!
Allan came to give me his love, friendship, and brotherhood. The Creator used that good heart of his to lead him to an awareness that might keep him on the planet longer. For that, we can all be thankful and give praise to God. You matter...all lives matter. It is an amazing fact of life that every time we reach out to help someone else, more blessings than we can give are directed back at us. Curtis Zimmerman calls it living your life with a theory of abundance, not scarcity. There is enough love for all of us. Have a great weekend and make an appointment on Monday to see your Physician.
Blessings,
Will Keim
I received an email from my dear friend Allan Hardcastle in California. Allan is a Judge and was a Residential Life Staff member at The University Of The Pacific. We have been friends for 40 years. He and Father Robert Silva, Tim Griffin, and Craig Cruikshank came to visit me on what I teased them was "The Will Keim Farewell Tour." I have to use humor to deal with the seriousness of my disease. I do not mean to offend anyone or give the impression I am not taking my cancer seriously. It has my full attention. Once when I tried to read an emotional letter to an Alumni gathering at UOP, Allan stepped up out of the crowd to finish my reading as I was overcome with emotion. He is a good man.
He wrote to me on September 19th, "God moves us in mysterious ways. As Tim knows I just thought it was really important to get up and see Will and now I think I now why!" I had encouraged all four of my dear friends to get themselves checked as melanoma takes on a whole new seriousness when it goes from the skin to the inner workings of our bodies. Allan listened to me and went to see his Doctor. A spot on his upper left arm was diagnosed and biopsied as melanoma. The dermatologist praised him for getting early and thinks the cancer is localized. Allan concluded, "Thanks again Will for your inspiration. I will never forget it." While his heart was focused on being here for me, he was being guided toward a discovery about his own health that might save his life.
God does move us in mysterious ways. Please...for me, for your family, for yourself...listen to your inner voice and get checked out for changes in your moles, or other places on your body. Ask your Doctor to particularly check out your back. My daughter Sami had mentioned a place on my back and actually suggested on more than one occasion that I have it looked at. I don't often see my back and would forget her advice. Perhaps if I had been fully in the present moment and heard her words my situation might be different. That said, I want to inspire you with the lessons cancer has taught me without you having to get it yourself. Please...get checked out!
Allan came to give me his love, friendship, and brotherhood. The Creator used that good heart of his to lead him to an awareness that might keep him on the planet longer. For that, we can all be thankful and give praise to God. You matter...all lives matter. It is an amazing fact of life that every time we reach out to help someone else, more blessings than we can give are directed back at us. Curtis Zimmerman calls it living your life with a theory of abundance, not scarcity. There is enough love for all of us. Have a great weekend and make an appointment on Monday to see your Physician.
Blessings,
Will Keim
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Reports Of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated!
Dear Friends,
Greetings! I am pleased to tell you that last Monday's CT Scan revealed that for the second straight test period all of my tumors are shrinking again! Praise be to the Novartis Meds, Dr. Matt Taylor, your prayers and thoughts, God, and Phil Knight, not necessarily in that order. It is a sad fact that God and I used to talk primarily when my plane shook at 35,000 feet. Now we converse every day about a variety of things. Your prayers and good thoughts continue to lift me up. Novartis has provided cancer drugs that make me realize that I haven't felt this good since the '60's. Dr. Matt Taylor and his staff continue their excellent care of me and Matt calls with the news, good or bad, every time, same day. Phil and Penny Knight, having already given 100 million dollars to the OHSU Cancer Center decided they just hadn't done enough and threw down a 500 million dollar matching challenge, which was met by the amazing Fund Raisers at OHSU. What humbling generosity and kindness towards people they will never meet but whom, like me, will have a fighting chance because of their philanthropic giving.
Since we last talked I have had two experiences that I wanted to share with you. The first was to get reunited with my youth baseball Coach Bill Viverto. He had called me to let me know that my teammate on the 1970 World Championship Colt League Team Tommy Pokorski had died of a heart attack. Tommy was our ace, our team leader, and a great guy. I invited Coach V to come to the University of Redlands to hear me speak and afterwards we out for coffee with former Redlands students Joe Richardson, Doug Everheart, and Doug Adams. Joe is an attorney, Doug E is a Student Affairs Administrator at UC Irvine, and Doug A is a Board of Trustees Member at Redlands. We talked until 11 pm which for old guys is late! Beer has been replaced by coffee but the fellowship with real and deep. Coach V has coached for over 50 years, has 1100 wins to his credit, and has mentored 17 major league players in his life. He has always been, along with my college Coach Dr. Tom Stubbs, the standard by which I attempted to Coach my teams over the years. Coach told me that our 1970 team was the first youth team enshrined in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. Wow! What an honor! Rest in peace Tommy P, and thanks to Coach V, Joe, Doug, and Doug for making the trip.
The second experience led to the title of this blog entry. One of my college friends contacted me on Facebook and said she thought I had already died and was pleased to find out I was still alive. At least I have that going for me! This got me to thinking...how many folks around the country have accepted the melanoma charts giving me little chance of surviving? My close friends and associates likely know about this blog or my Facebook entries. I have noticed however that fewer professional colleagues are calling and I want to make this very clear...I am alive and doing well, and my speeches and presentations are better than ever. Cancer has focused me and taught me so many lessons that I am working hard to pass on to my audiences. I want, and need, to work, to feed my family and buy toys for my Grandchildren. I am making a concerted effort to increase book sales and work closer to home because in reality I do not know how much time I have left. I honestly haven't felt this good in two years and I am optimistic. Cancer, however, has taught me the need to be in the moment, focused on today, and not take time, people, or places for granted. Anyone considering me for a speaking event is invited to contact Vice President Char Burgess at the University of Redlands, Coach Betsy Hipple at Claremont Mckenna College, Vice President Tujuana Julian at Drury University, Vice President Chuck Cleveland at Whitman College, Dr. Tom Hill or Liz Kurt at Iowa State University, Dr. Eileen Sullivan at Elmhurst College, Coach Jackson Vaughan at Linfield College, Dr. Gary Dukes at Western Oregon University, or Laurie Prince at Seattle University to check up on me and see how I am reaching their students. I have also spoken to firefighters, chiefs of police, and medical professionals in the last year.
Will Keim is open for prayers and good thoughts, and for business! Besides your concerns, the greatest gift you all could give me is to purchase books which provides educational opportunities for the readers, income for me, and the added ability of being home to spend more time with family. I am traveling and was honored to be selected as a Keynote Speaker for the Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values Western Conference in San Diego in April 2016. Recently Associate Athletic Director Dr. Henry Villegas of the University of New Mexico, and Freda Leurs, Director of Campus Life at Indiana State, bought a case of books for use with their students and in new student orientation classes. Iowa State University continues to provide a copy of "Keys To Success In College And Life" for each of the entering students. I am able to take orders now on Square making the effort easy and quick for my clients. Now is the time in my life when, because of the 'Ph.D. in Life' cancer is guiding me through, that I believe I have the most to say. I am also happy to tell you that my daughter Christa Keim Schmeder, Paul Strauss, and I are about to finish "Keys To Success In High School And Life" for high school students, their parents, and those who work with them. Christa and Paul are award winning educators in high school and middle school, and their insights to young students are amazing and spot on! I have never felt more creative in my life and I wanted you to know that and tell your friends. There is nothing like a look squarely in the face of your own mortality to speed up the creative energy and focus it on leaving a legacy.
So there you have it...Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated! I am not, nor will likely ever be, completely out of the woods. But right now, right here, at this moment, I am doing well and better than I deserve. 13.9 hemoglobin, up from 5.6! 74 heartbeat, down from 100. Blood pressure solidly in the great area, and all organs functioning well, and tumors shrinking. I have some things to say, some ideas to share, some lives to touch, and I am hoping that many of you will make that happen. I am well aware that I am not the only one wrestling with what one author called cancer, that is "The Emperor of All Maladies." I have begun discussion with a student group at the University of Nebraska about a national organization to help students and community members deal with the news that cancer has come into their lives. More on that will follow, but suffice it to say that there are some amazing students reaching out in their communities and changing lives. My thanks go out to all of you who continue to work me into your daily thoughts and prayers. It is making a huge difference in my attitude as I face my disease. Blessings to you and your families and please, be in touch and let me know if there is anything I can do to help you as you have reached out to me.
With love,
Will
Greetings! I am pleased to tell you that last Monday's CT Scan revealed that for the second straight test period all of my tumors are shrinking again! Praise be to the Novartis Meds, Dr. Matt Taylor, your prayers and thoughts, God, and Phil Knight, not necessarily in that order. It is a sad fact that God and I used to talk primarily when my plane shook at 35,000 feet. Now we converse every day about a variety of things. Your prayers and good thoughts continue to lift me up. Novartis has provided cancer drugs that make me realize that I haven't felt this good since the '60's. Dr. Matt Taylor and his staff continue their excellent care of me and Matt calls with the news, good or bad, every time, same day. Phil and Penny Knight, having already given 100 million dollars to the OHSU Cancer Center decided they just hadn't done enough and threw down a 500 million dollar matching challenge, which was met by the amazing Fund Raisers at OHSU. What humbling generosity and kindness towards people they will never meet but whom, like me, will have a fighting chance because of their philanthropic giving.
Since we last talked I have had two experiences that I wanted to share with you. The first was to get reunited with my youth baseball Coach Bill Viverto. He had called me to let me know that my teammate on the 1970 World Championship Colt League Team Tommy Pokorski had died of a heart attack. Tommy was our ace, our team leader, and a great guy. I invited Coach V to come to the University of Redlands to hear me speak and afterwards we out for coffee with former Redlands students Joe Richardson, Doug Everheart, and Doug Adams. Joe is an attorney, Doug E is a Student Affairs Administrator at UC Irvine, and Doug A is a Board of Trustees Member at Redlands. We talked until 11 pm which for old guys is late! Beer has been replaced by coffee but the fellowship with real and deep. Coach V has coached for over 50 years, has 1100 wins to his credit, and has mentored 17 major league players in his life. He has always been, along with my college Coach Dr. Tom Stubbs, the standard by which I attempted to Coach my teams over the years. Coach told me that our 1970 team was the first youth team enshrined in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. Wow! What an honor! Rest in peace Tommy P, and thanks to Coach V, Joe, Doug, and Doug for making the trip.
The second experience led to the title of this blog entry. One of my college friends contacted me on Facebook and said she thought I had already died and was pleased to find out I was still alive. At least I have that going for me! This got me to thinking...how many folks around the country have accepted the melanoma charts giving me little chance of surviving? My close friends and associates likely know about this blog or my Facebook entries. I have noticed however that fewer professional colleagues are calling and I want to make this very clear...I am alive and doing well, and my speeches and presentations are better than ever. Cancer has focused me and taught me so many lessons that I am working hard to pass on to my audiences. I want, and need, to work, to feed my family and buy toys for my Grandchildren. I am making a concerted effort to increase book sales and work closer to home because in reality I do not know how much time I have left. I honestly haven't felt this good in two years and I am optimistic. Cancer, however, has taught me the need to be in the moment, focused on today, and not take time, people, or places for granted. Anyone considering me for a speaking event is invited to contact Vice President Char Burgess at the University of Redlands, Coach Betsy Hipple at Claremont Mckenna College, Vice President Tujuana Julian at Drury University, Vice President Chuck Cleveland at Whitman College, Dr. Tom Hill or Liz Kurt at Iowa State University, Dr. Eileen Sullivan at Elmhurst College, Coach Jackson Vaughan at Linfield College, Dr. Gary Dukes at Western Oregon University, or Laurie Prince at Seattle University to check up on me and see how I am reaching their students. I have also spoken to firefighters, chiefs of police, and medical professionals in the last year.
Will Keim is open for prayers and good thoughts, and for business! Besides your concerns, the greatest gift you all could give me is to purchase books which provides educational opportunities for the readers, income for me, and the added ability of being home to spend more time with family. I am traveling and was honored to be selected as a Keynote Speaker for the Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values Western Conference in San Diego in April 2016. Recently Associate Athletic Director Dr. Henry Villegas of the University of New Mexico, and Freda Leurs, Director of Campus Life at Indiana State, bought a case of books for use with their students and in new student orientation classes. Iowa State University continues to provide a copy of "Keys To Success In College And Life" for each of the entering students. I am able to take orders now on Square making the effort easy and quick for my clients. Now is the time in my life when, because of the 'Ph.D. in Life' cancer is guiding me through, that I believe I have the most to say. I am also happy to tell you that my daughter Christa Keim Schmeder, Paul Strauss, and I are about to finish "Keys To Success In High School And Life" for high school students, their parents, and those who work with them. Christa and Paul are award winning educators in high school and middle school, and their insights to young students are amazing and spot on! I have never felt more creative in my life and I wanted you to know that and tell your friends. There is nothing like a look squarely in the face of your own mortality to speed up the creative energy and focus it on leaving a legacy.
So there you have it...Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated! I am not, nor will likely ever be, completely out of the woods. But right now, right here, at this moment, I am doing well and better than I deserve. 13.9 hemoglobin, up from 5.6! 74 heartbeat, down from 100. Blood pressure solidly in the great area, and all organs functioning well, and tumors shrinking. I have some things to say, some ideas to share, some lives to touch, and I am hoping that many of you will make that happen. I am well aware that I am not the only one wrestling with what one author called cancer, that is "The Emperor of All Maladies." I have begun discussion with a student group at the University of Nebraska about a national organization to help students and community members deal with the news that cancer has come into their lives. More on that will follow, but suffice it to say that there are some amazing students reaching out in their communities and changing lives. My thanks go out to all of you who continue to work me into your daily thoughts and prayers. It is making a huge difference in my attitude as I face my disease. Blessings to you and your families and please, be in touch and let me know if there is anything I can do to help you as you have reached out to me.
With love,
Will
Friday, August 7, 2015
21 Words That Will Hopefully Make Your Day...They Made Mine!
Dear Friends,
I wore number 21 in college baseball at the University Of The Pacific. Frankly, I wasn't very good but I lettered four years and finished .500, winning and losing the same amount. I made some very good friends and was coached and mentored by a great man, Dr. Tom Stubbs. I threw so slowly that when one of our opponents pitchers would hit one of our guys, our players would ask me not to retaliate because even if I hit them it wouldn't hurt and then their pitcher might pluck one of our guys again. Once when I foul tipped a ball at bat against future major league pitcher Dick Ruthven, my teammates gave me a standing ovation from the dugout. 6' 2", 165 pounds, zits, shoulder length blond hair, puka shells, no fast ball, and a .225 career lifetime hitter. What a catch. My roommate and I had a signal when we had women in the room. He would put his belt on the outside doorknob. My sign was that hell would freeze over. (Thanks to comedian Dennis Miller for the last line!)
Yesterday, 21 little words on the screen of my smart phone made my day. I hope they will give you joy as well. They were from my Doctor Matthew Taylor. I got a CT scan at 10:30 a.m. His message of 21 words came at 12.23 p.m.
"Hey Will,
I just got the CT report. It looks great. All the
tumors are shrinking. Congratulations.
See you soon,
Matthew"
I'm so emotional anymore with my cancer induced appreciation of each moment that I began to cry. That concerned Donna who was driving. I couldn't read it to her so I handed it to her. It was so short and to the point, just 21 little words, that she could read it without endangering her driving. I forwarded it to my Roman Catholic friend Tim who goes to mass everyday and prays for me each day. He texted right back, "That is so great news. Had mass offered for you this morning up in the novena. We do thank you Jesus, thank you mother Mary, thank you St. Ann. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah!" I sent the good news to Coach Don Patterson of the University of Connecticut football team who has been my friend for 20 years since his days at Western Illinois University. He called and said, "Praise God."
Don had tonsalur cancer and had six weeks of six daily radiations in a row followed by a day of chemo and then repeat. For six weeks! He is in remission and coaching again. I knew he would be filled with joy and understand my relief. Now you have the good news!
Stage 4 Melanoma does just go away folks and I want you to know that. But I am on new drugs, in a clinical study, and yesterday we won the battle if not the war. We do not know what might happen in the coming days. With Novartis' commitment to this study, Dr. Taylor's expertise, and your continued prayers and good positive thoughts, who knows? I do know the drugs are contributing to the shrinkage of my tumors. But hear me clearly when I tell you that I believe that your prayers and the power of God are shrinking them as well. And quite frankly, as the good book says, "If God be for us, who be against us?"
21 little words (counting CT as one for you english majors who were thinking it!:)) and my day was made. Perhaps the lesson is to take life one day at a time. Maybe that applies to those of with cancer and those of you who get so busy you get out of the moment. Right now is what we have, where we are, that which we can impact. Let us rejoice in this day. Let us find something good about it. We all know there are words to come that we do not want to hear or face, but right now, celebrate with me because you are part of it.
And lastly, how about a Doctor that emails less than two after a test with the good news! He is the busiest guy I know but he took time. I have an appointment with him on Monday, but his thoughtfulness will certainly make the weekend a lot better. I hope that in your time of need that you have:
1. Friends like you
2. A Doctor like Matt, and
3. Some faith to buoy you up when the news is good and when it isn't
This weekend Monsignor Robert Silva, my college campus minister, and three of my college mates, Dr. Tim Griffin, Craig Cruikshank, and Judge Alan Hardcastle are coming up from California to see me in what I dubbed the "Farewell Will Keim Tour." You have to laugh and find the humor or the seriousness of life and the situations in which you find yourself will grind you down and eat you up. I am happy and thankful for a caring Doctor who always seems to go the extra mile for me. I will have some good news to share with my buddies and my spiritual mentor. There is a rumor that the famous Irish healer Dr. John Jameson will be coming with them. I will let you know how that goes.
Blessings and thanks again for your support!
Will
#21
I wore number 21 in college baseball at the University Of The Pacific. Frankly, I wasn't very good but I lettered four years and finished .500, winning and losing the same amount. I made some very good friends and was coached and mentored by a great man, Dr. Tom Stubbs. I threw so slowly that when one of our opponents pitchers would hit one of our guys, our players would ask me not to retaliate because even if I hit them it wouldn't hurt and then their pitcher might pluck one of our guys again. Once when I foul tipped a ball at bat against future major league pitcher Dick Ruthven, my teammates gave me a standing ovation from the dugout. 6' 2", 165 pounds, zits, shoulder length blond hair, puka shells, no fast ball, and a .225 career lifetime hitter. What a catch. My roommate and I had a signal when we had women in the room. He would put his belt on the outside doorknob. My sign was that hell would freeze over. (Thanks to comedian Dennis Miller for the last line!)
Yesterday, 21 little words on the screen of my smart phone made my day. I hope they will give you joy as well. They were from my Doctor Matthew Taylor. I got a CT scan at 10:30 a.m. His message of 21 words came at 12.23 p.m.
"Hey Will,
I just got the CT report. It looks great. All the
tumors are shrinking. Congratulations.
See you soon,
Matthew"
I'm so emotional anymore with my cancer induced appreciation of each moment that I began to cry. That concerned Donna who was driving. I couldn't read it to her so I handed it to her. It was so short and to the point, just 21 little words, that she could read it without endangering her driving. I forwarded it to my Roman Catholic friend Tim who goes to mass everyday and prays for me each day. He texted right back, "That is so great news. Had mass offered for you this morning up in the novena. We do thank you Jesus, thank you mother Mary, thank you St. Ann. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah!" I sent the good news to Coach Don Patterson of the University of Connecticut football team who has been my friend for 20 years since his days at Western Illinois University. He called and said, "Praise God."
Don had tonsalur cancer and had six weeks of six daily radiations in a row followed by a day of chemo and then repeat. For six weeks! He is in remission and coaching again. I knew he would be filled with joy and understand my relief. Now you have the good news!
Stage 4 Melanoma does just go away folks and I want you to know that. But I am on new drugs, in a clinical study, and yesterday we won the battle if not the war. We do not know what might happen in the coming days. With Novartis' commitment to this study, Dr. Taylor's expertise, and your continued prayers and good positive thoughts, who knows? I do know the drugs are contributing to the shrinkage of my tumors. But hear me clearly when I tell you that I believe that your prayers and the power of God are shrinking them as well. And quite frankly, as the good book says, "If God be for us, who be against us?"
21 little words (counting CT as one for you english majors who were thinking it!:)) and my day was made. Perhaps the lesson is to take life one day at a time. Maybe that applies to those of with cancer and those of you who get so busy you get out of the moment. Right now is what we have, where we are, that which we can impact. Let us rejoice in this day. Let us find something good about it. We all know there are words to come that we do not want to hear or face, but right now, celebrate with me because you are part of it.
And lastly, how about a Doctor that emails less than two after a test with the good news! He is the busiest guy I know but he took time. I have an appointment with him on Monday, but his thoughtfulness will certainly make the weekend a lot better. I hope that in your time of need that you have:
1. Friends like you
2. A Doctor like Matt, and
3. Some faith to buoy you up when the news is good and when it isn't
This weekend Monsignor Robert Silva, my college campus minister, and three of my college mates, Dr. Tim Griffin, Craig Cruikshank, and Judge Alan Hardcastle are coming up from California to see me in what I dubbed the "Farewell Will Keim Tour." You have to laugh and find the humor or the seriousness of life and the situations in which you find yourself will grind you down and eat you up. I am happy and thankful for a caring Doctor who always seems to go the extra mile for me. I will have some good news to share with my buddies and my spiritual mentor. There is a rumor that the famous Irish healer Dr. John Jameson will be coming with them. I will let you know how that goes.
Blessings and thanks again for your support!
Will
#21
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
"Keim, K E I M, 4/3/54, Good Morning Everyone!"
Dear Friends,
If you have been, you are, or you have accompanied a person being treated for cancer, then you know the drill: "Your name please, and your birthdate." I have added the 'good morning everyone' just to break up the monotony for Lynn, the check in staff member at the Knight Cancer Center of the Oregon Health Sciences University where I am being treated. I have tried my best to be in a good mood and add some humor and levity to the 7th floor of the Center for Health & Healing as it is the Oncology floor and is by its nature a very serious place.
Yesterday our day started with a 5 a.m. wake up call and a 5:30 a.m. departure for Portland, 90 minutes away. I say 'our' not because I am speaking in the 'Royal We' but because it is Donna and I making the journey. She accompanies me on every trip to the Doctor and does it without once giving me the impression it is a task or that she would rather be doing something else. Hell...I would rather be doing something but she never lets on. I hope to live a while longer because when it comes to 'for better or for worse...' I need some more time to give her more of the better.
I have been on the Clinical Trial supervised by my Doctor Matt Taylor for one month now. I am taking experimental drugs at my request because the approved ones had stopped having much effect against my opponent, melanoma. I take eight pills in the morning and three at night, two hours of fasting before and one hour after each time. I have felt the conflict going on in my belly, without pain thank God, and knew that my drugs and my cancer were doing battle with each other. The day started with an eye exam, then blood test, then EKG, then meeting with Dr. Taylor, then lunch with Hannah and her Internship Coordinator Dr. Lynn Lashbrook (see smww.com), then an heart sonogram, taking of my meds, and a final EKG. It was quite a day and this is the Clinical Trial protocol.
It always makes me nervous when Dr. Taylor pulls up the screen with my test results. He sits facing it with Donna and I to his right. Last time he stared at it, looked very sad, and pushed it aside and said, "We don't need to look at this. Let's get you approved for the Clinical Study." He was clearly disappointed in the results. We have become friends, we pray for each other, and my case is personal for him, and me! Yesterday at 10:40 a.m., he looked and sounded nearly giddy. He told me my hemoglobin was 10.8, up from 5.8 three weeks ago and 9.9 two weeks ago. He said my internal bleeding had stopped. The scores indicated who was winning the battle between the meds and the 'unruly cells' and this battle was clearly being won by the meds. Upon his physical examination of me, he could not find the 4 cm tumor that had been growing under the skin near my ribs where the resting elbow meets the body. He said, "I am not even finding evidence of scar tissue." Do you remember your children or grandchildren opening a gift from under the Christmas tree? That is how he looked! I was happy for me, no, relieved and grateful was I. But I was equally happy to see him with at least a temporary victory in the battle. Can you imagine being an Oncologist? To see people in varying stages of living and dying, pain and suffering, fear and apprehension, every day. He and I gave each other the same look my fraternity brothers and I gave each other when they told me I had been invited to join and become a brother.
I am not posting "It's Over!" messages today, or "We Kicked It's Ass!' celebrations because Stage 4 Melanoma has a nasty habit of finding a way to change its course and direction and reappear. The study I am on is experimenting with five new drugs in addition to the big dosage duo I am now on to try and put the nail in the coffin of this disease. I am telling you today though that this is the best I have felt in over a year, can do two hours of work in my garden without passing out, and have put the events of two weeks ago behind me. Two weeks ago I am in the hospital taking six units of blood and having an irregular heart beat, fever, and other maladies. Today, I write you with good news. Isn't that how it is with cancer, and life? If we were smart, and the jury is still out on that, we would savor and dwell in each moment, in particular the good ones, the joyful ones, the ecstatic ones. We are however, at times, resentful about the past, and fearful about the future, unable to be present to the magic that is this moment.
In my mind I have the best Doctor in the world. He would reject that title due to his humility and good heart, but it is how I feel. Novartis has created new drugs to fight my disease that are working.
Dr. Taylor said, "Any joint pain?" "No." "Blurred vision?" "No." "Rash or hives"? "No." "Swelling or numbing?" "No." I have had no side effects from these medications either! What a blessing. My liver, kidneys, and organs are functioning well and have good numbers too. I do believe that the tipping point however, my key outlier, the reason this is happening is all of your good wishes and prayers. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't contact me by email, text, phone, or in person to tell me they are praying for me. From Maine to Florida, Iowa, Texas, Michigan, California, Alaska, Hawaii, Idaho, Pennsylvania and all points in between...you have been there for me. My secret hope, as I have stated before in this journal, is that God gets so tired of hearing my name raised by you in thought and prayer that he tells St. Peter, "We need to just heal him. I don't have time for all the Hail Marys, Holy Jesus' and Great God Almighties...have you seen my Son. Get Him on this, Pete."
(And the Dark Voice murmured..."But what will he say if his cancer returns, his hemo goes down, and the test results aren't so good?") First, I will say, "Shit!" Then I will trust in God to get me through this with dignity. As Marcus Borg said when asked about the afterlife, "The same God who buoyed me up through life will buoy me up through death." I cannot tell you the number of people of who have said to me, "We really didn't think you would do much in your life." I don't blame them. Like you, I have had some bumps, bruises, and abuses. But I never lost my faith or my belief that God was with me, with us, especially through the toughest times. Even death.
This week I was contacted by my friend Johnny Hartley in Iowa and Coach Bill Viverto in California to tell me that our best pitcher on the 1970 Colt League World Championship Team had died of a heart attack at his home in Hawaii. Tommy Pokorski was a big guy with a bigger heart that knew no strangers. He was All CIF in Basketball and Baseball and signed with the Boston Red Sox. Coach V was very emotional when we talked as that team was very special to him, and us. We were 22-0, beat the American Legion World Champions, Venezuela, Asia, Canada, Mexico and the US teams to set 15 World Series records, some of which stand today. We were invited to come on the field at Dodger Stadium and be escorted by Dodger players and cheered after we returned home by 55,000 fans. I was the least talented guy on the team but pitching in front of these guys, I went 3-0 for the Summer. Tommy was our leader, our comedian, our 'idiot savant'. And even in his death, he is bringing us together. This week I have had teammates contact me who have battled cancer and given me their love, concern, and prayers. Even death cannot conquer love, friendship, distance, time, and hope.
One day there will be no cancer. In the meantime we are starting to hear cancer talked about as a chronic disease, not a death sentence. Great discoveries are being made and companies like Novartis are spending millions on research to alleviate suffering and save lives. The old hymn says, "Death, where is thy sting?" I am filled with gratitude to tell you of my results. I know you are there for me. But I also know that you will be there for me when the announcements and test results are not so good. And further, I know you will be there for my children, grandchildren, wife and family when I am gone. I like to think I will not be really gone, simply out of sight. The great Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh (see 'No Fear, No Death') says, "You have always been. Right now the conditions for you to exist in human form are present. One day they will not be, and your spirit will move on. You have always been, you are, and you will always be." As long as we remember Tommy, and as long as we remember all those that have gone before us, then we, and they, will live forever. Sounds like Heaven to me!
Bless you all and have a wonderful day! With love,
Will
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
"It's Nice To Be Seen."
Dear Friends,
I was thinking of the time the late great Robin Williams appeared at one of my friends universities. My friend said to him, "It has been so nice having you." Robin replied, "It has been so nice being had." People say to me now, "It's so nice to see you." And I reply, and mean it, "It is so nice to be seen" It is nice to be seen, to be included. The first thing Drury University, Iowa State University, Elmhurst College, Whitman College, Linfield College, the University of Redlands, Seattle University, Western Oregon University, and Eastern Oregon University did when they found out I had cancer was to immediately book me for the next Fall. Have you any idea what it means to someone with Stage 4 Melanoma to have your speaking contract extended when you have been told your life contract may not be? That said, I have been invited to do three wonderful events in June and July and I wanted to thank the good people who invited me, had faith in me, and believed I would be around to complete the tasks assigned. One event has already happened and the other two are on the immediate horizon.
I was blessed to be asked to do a baby dedication for Avery Grace by her parents Ryan and Shannon Starwalt. I had officiated at their wedding earlier in our lives together and had dedicated Avery's older sister Payton nearly six years before. Ryan is a teacher and baseball coach at Crescent Valley High School and Shannon is on the Pharmacy Faculty at Oregon State University. It meant so much to be with them and their families again. The greatest gift you can give a person with cancer is hope. And what could be more hopeful than a baby girl whose parents are promising to raise her in a home filled with love? I carried my devotional book "God's Promises" with me to their home to share a scripture about parenting and Avery, who was born in September, immediately took in from me and looked at it with a look of interest and joy. The Spirit works in strange and wondrous ways! Thank you Starwalts for including me in your major life events.
On July 17th I will officiate at the wedding of Matt Caires and his fiancee Brandyn Roark. I have known Dr. Caires since he was a senior at Washington State University serving as student body president. Not a month has gone by in 20 years that he didn't check on me and me on him. He helped my niece Katie Volz with her admission to the University of Wyoming while he was there, and our family friend Paul Puettman with his entrance to Montana State where Matt is currently the Dean of Students. He has become a dear friend and he finally met a woman in better shape than himself. Brandyn is an educator and sponsored extreme athlete and Matt has to struggle to keep up. This gives all of us who have been left in the dust by him on the hiking trial, the ski run, or the path to the river great joy! He now follows her up the hills and down the mountains but claims the view is so good he doesn't mind. We will ride the ski lift up on Schweitzer Mountain in Sandpoint, Idaho to have a ceremony fitting for two rugged individualists and outdoors people.
After the reception in Sandpoint, Donna and I will hit the road for Bend, Oregon where Mark Lea and Annie Perrigan will speak the vows of love to each other at the Rock Springs Ranch. Our family has known Annie since she was a friend of Christa's in middle and high school in Corvallis. Mark is a high school teacher and football coach. Annie is the College Recruiter for Northwestern Mutual Life and its Summer Internship program in Portland. As I will be in Idaho with Matt and Brandyn, Christa Keim Schmeder will take care of the rehearsal in Bend for me. Recently Christa stepped in for me at the Ford Family Foundation Ford Scholars event in Eugene when I was having a bad week and took home the highest evaluations at the Conference. She is so gifted and is doing amazing work at Corvallis High School. I will, God willing, arrive in plenty of time to officiate the ceremony.
I've messed up a lot of things in my life, but our children are amazing. My dear friend David Coleman says, "Our children are our legacy to people we will never meet." So true. So profound. The lion's share of the credit for Christa, Sami, JJ, and Hannah goes to Donna, but I added what I could and gave what I had. Our children never doubted for one minute that they were loved and wanted. And that is the gift that Ryan and Shannon, Matt and Brandyn, and Mark and Annie have given me. They have made me feel loved, wanted, and despite the battle raging inside me, needed. What else does a person really need but that? I don't want to go Lou Gehring on you, but there are days when I hurt and am afraid, but the majority of my waking time I honestly believe I am the luckiest man on the Earth. That is why my friend Tracy Maxwell, a three time cancer survivor, told me early on the cancer would teach me what was really important in life, clarify my beliefs, and activate my appreciation for each moment.
I would not wish cancer on anyone, but it has been instructive, clarifying, and motivating. I want to beat it and share what it has taught me until I die of natural causes and old age. Thanks for reading this and God bless you. Carpe Diem. Be present. Be mindful. We all have much to be thankful for!
Will
I was thinking of the time the late great Robin Williams appeared at one of my friends universities. My friend said to him, "It has been so nice having you." Robin replied, "It has been so nice being had." People say to me now, "It's so nice to see you." And I reply, and mean it, "It is so nice to be seen" It is nice to be seen, to be included. The first thing Drury University, Iowa State University, Elmhurst College, Whitman College, Linfield College, the University of Redlands, Seattle University, Western Oregon University, and Eastern Oregon University did when they found out I had cancer was to immediately book me for the next Fall. Have you any idea what it means to someone with Stage 4 Melanoma to have your speaking contract extended when you have been told your life contract may not be? That said, I have been invited to do three wonderful events in June and July and I wanted to thank the good people who invited me, had faith in me, and believed I would be around to complete the tasks assigned. One event has already happened and the other two are on the immediate horizon.
I was blessed to be asked to do a baby dedication for Avery Grace by her parents Ryan and Shannon Starwalt. I had officiated at their wedding earlier in our lives together and had dedicated Avery's older sister Payton nearly six years before. Ryan is a teacher and baseball coach at Crescent Valley High School and Shannon is on the Pharmacy Faculty at Oregon State University. It meant so much to be with them and their families again. The greatest gift you can give a person with cancer is hope. And what could be more hopeful than a baby girl whose parents are promising to raise her in a home filled with love? I carried my devotional book "God's Promises" with me to their home to share a scripture about parenting and Avery, who was born in September, immediately took in from me and looked at it with a look of interest and joy. The Spirit works in strange and wondrous ways! Thank you Starwalts for including me in your major life events.
On July 17th I will officiate at the wedding of Matt Caires and his fiancee Brandyn Roark. I have known Dr. Caires since he was a senior at Washington State University serving as student body president. Not a month has gone by in 20 years that he didn't check on me and me on him. He helped my niece Katie Volz with her admission to the University of Wyoming while he was there, and our family friend Paul Puettman with his entrance to Montana State where Matt is currently the Dean of Students. He has become a dear friend and he finally met a woman in better shape than himself. Brandyn is an educator and sponsored extreme athlete and Matt has to struggle to keep up. This gives all of us who have been left in the dust by him on the hiking trial, the ski run, or the path to the river great joy! He now follows her up the hills and down the mountains but claims the view is so good he doesn't mind. We will ride the ski lift up on Schweitzer Mountain in Sandpoint, Idaho to have a ceremony fitting for two rugged individualists and outdoors people.
After the reception in Sandpoint, Donna and I will hit the road for Bend, Oregon where Mark Lea and Annie Perrigan will speak the vows of love to each other at the Rock Springs Ranch. Our family has known Annie since she was a friend of Christa's in middle and high school in Corvallis. Mark is a high school teacher and football coach. Annie is the College Recruiter for Northwestern Mutual Life and its Summer Internship program in Portland. As I will be in Idaho with Matt and Brandyn, Christa Keim Schmeder will take care of the rehearsal in Bend for me. Recently Christa stepped in for me at the Ford Family Foundation Ford Scholars event in Eugene when I was having a bad week and took home the highest evaluations at the Conference. She is so gifted and is doing amazing work at Corvallis High School. I will, God willing, arrive in plenty of time to officiate the ceremony.
I've messed up a lot of things in my life, but our children are amazing. My dear friend David Coleman says, "Our children are our legacy to people we will never meet." So true. So profound. The lion's share of the credit for Christa, Sami, JJ, and Hannah goes to Donna, but I added what I could and gave what I had. Our children never doubted for one minute that they were loved and wanted. And that is the gift that Ryan and Shannon, Matt and Brandyn, and Mark and Annie have given me. They have made me feel loved, wanted, and despite the battle raging inside me, needed. What else does a person really need but that? I don't want to go Lou Gehring on you, but there are days when I hurt and am afraid, but the majority of my waking time I honestly believe I am the luckiest man on the Earth. That is why my friend Tracy Maxwell, a three time cancer survivor, told me early on the cancer would teach me what was really important in life, clarify my beliefs, and activate my appreciation for each moment.
I would not wish cancer on anyone, but it has been instructive, clarifying, and motivating. I want to beat it and share what it has taught me until I die of natural causes and old age. Thanks for reading this and God bless you. Carpe Diem. Be present. Be mindful. We all have much to be thankful for!
Will
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
"It Depends. The Importance of Me. And...A Clinical Trial Begins."
Dear Friends,
After a battery of tests, transfusions, and hard work by my Doctor Matt Taylor and his study coordinator Lindsay Chandler, I was deemed acceptable for a Clinical Trial at OHSU under the director of Dr. Matt Taylor. As a matter of fact, I am the Alpha patient in the trial. I take 8 pills in the morning every day and three at night and the battle is on between the drugs and my tumors. This trial is exciting in scope and I am both excited and a tiny bit apprehensive. Your prayers might be the tipping point so please keep 'em coming.
I had a very rough week before the test week with dwindling hemoglobin scores, diarrhea, low sodium, dehydration, fatigue, and two days of hospitalization. I took 6 units of blood in the hospital which barely positioned me in the acceptable low category. For the first time in my fight with cancer I listened to the dark voice when it asked, "If this is how I am going to feel forever, then how much of this do I really need, or want?" I realized I needed to talk to someone. I asked Sami to have her Coach and my friend Rob Durbin give me a call or visit. He is a cancer survivor of a brutal battle and had offered me wise counsel before.
He came to visit, and I asked told him about my week, my feelings, the dark voice, and asked him, "When you were down, when things weren't going well, what did you do?" He smiled and told me he was going to tell me something he had learned and I needed to hear. I was ready for some empathy and TLC from someone who had been there. Then he said, "Will, it's not about you." I was speechless and somewhat puzzled. I guess that wasn't what I was expecting. He continued, "It's about the people who want to love you longer. The people all over the world who are taking their time to pray for you. It's about your family, wife, children, and grandchildren. Your students. It's about them, not you. That's why you continue to fight and not give up. You want to give them as much time as you can to love you and care for you."
What a blessing a friend is who will tell you what you need to hear rather than what they think you want to hear! I wasn't looking for a pity party, but his truth hit me squarely in the head and heart. How can I ask you not to quit praying or thinking positive thoughts, and then give up myself? My mentor Kent Gardner wrote from Texas shortly after Rob's visit, "Will, I just read your blog. I think I told you that you will have many ups and downs in this process. Don't let it get you down. Remember we have miles to go before we sleep. Keep the power of positive thinking!!! You are the best." This from a friend with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer. I am thankful to have resources like Rob and Kent to remind me that it is not about me. It is about us. My job is to fight, to believe the treatments will work, and not to give up. Your 'job' is to care because it is ultimately about us, not me.
As to the first line of this entry's title, "It Depends."...I had always held the private belief that when I had to wear Depends, it pretty much meant life was over. I would look at them in the store and shudder. Well, I wore them for two days, and as comedian Richard Lewis told John Stewart, the new cuts of the Depends are kind of sexy!:):):) I wore my regular underwear over them in a vanity denial move, but my life did not end, I slept better, and the cause of wearing them...this too did pass. The lesson for all you youngins' is that you do what you have to do. Growing old ain't for sissies. But life, that is, the people in your life, make any tiny inconveniences worth it. I want to bask in your friendship and love as long as possible. I need to do my part and fight. To hell with the dark voice. It is not about me.
My Clinical Trial has begun and I am hopeful and resilient. And what is hope? Our Minister Matt Gordon concluded his sermon Sunday with this:
Hope is the belief in what God might do next.
Help me stay open to the amazing possibilities of what that might be!
Blessings and love,
Will
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
A Gifted Healer
Dear Friends,
It is never easy to hear or give news that is less than good. I am aware of this as I share with you the results of my latest PT Scan. Yesterday Donna and I journeyed to Portland to the Knight Cancer Center at the Oregon Health Sciences University to meet with my oncologist, Dr. Matt Taylor. He began by telling us that he was not happy with the scan as it revealed some tumor growth. He was sad and a bit angry at the cancer, and immediately took us through a diagram that explained to two liberal arts majors that my body is being told by my cancer to produce cells, cells that it does not really need, and cells that fuel tumor growth. Eye to eye I could feel his empathy and his concern. We have become friends and my cancer is personal to our family and him.
I will be entering a Clinical Trial of a new drug in cooperation with two existing drugs that have the potential to turn off the 'make cells' message my cancer is giving my body. There will be 140 of us in the study, and I am the first person at OHSU to enroll. Dr. Taylor said, "I believe this will work for you, but if it does not, we have other treatment options available." The study, in which Dr. Taylor and his mentor are primary investigators, will develop treatments involving BRAF inhibitors and the possibility for people like me that we may get additional years to live, learn, and love. The good news was that there is no tumor growth in my liver or kidneys. I sent an email to my children immediately and their love and concern, along with their Mother's, buoyed me up. I was a little sad yesterday but slept well last night and have regained my hope today. The only thing that rises before the sun is the love of God.
The news about the tumors did not shock me as I had felt some strange things going on in my stomach. I also had some bruising under my arms. The energy loss I felt required that I take two transfusions of two units each last week in order to go the the Women's College World Series with Sami in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. When I said my prayers the night before meeting with Dr. Taylor, I asked God to continue to heal me, but if I did not get good news, I knew He would be with me. And He was. I view my cancer battle as a team event and the players are the Doctors, the Researchers, the medicine, God, and my family and friends. It is going to take all of us and I ask for your continued prayers and good thoughts. You all have been so wonderful, so caring, so loving...thank you! Please keep it up! My goal? God gets tired of hearing my name in prayer and heals me to free up some time to listen to the concerns of others!:)
Due to the efforts of Dr. Taylor and Dr. Wang to get me in for transfusions, I had a wonderful week at the softball World Series with Sami. We had talked about going to the event since she was a little girl just starting off playing softball. I was so fatigued I talked to her about not going, but she persisted and told me she would take care of me. She did. We watched up to four games a day, talked softball, strategized, and met some wonderful people. We met Alabama All American Haylie McCleney's Dad who said he and his family would pray for us. We were blessed as well to meet All American Emily Carosone's Dad and Sister who insisted on offering their prayers and a signed Auburn poster for our Corvallis Spartan Softball team. We had dinner with Coach Betsy Hipple and her partner. Betsy coaches two of our former high school players, Chloe and Madeleine, at Claremont Mudd Scripts College in Los Angeles. We also broke bread with Megan McDonald, one of Sami's Oregon Panthers travel ball teammates and Katie Reeves, our friend from Crescent Valley High School in Corvallis. Katie is the Head Coach at Oklahoma Wesleyan. Former rivals, they are now great friends. Naomi and Janet sat in front of us and we really enjoyed talking and laughing with them. Naomi is one of the nation's leading experts on child education and abuse issues. Janet is her business manager. Check out redclayvinegar.com to learn more about their great work with children.
My favorite memory of the week long event was when a UCLA player hit towering fly ball to left field with two outs and her team one run behind. Sami and I immediately held hands stood up and watched in wonder as the ball sailed over the left field fence. Sami was a little girl again, I was younger and cancer free, and the world had been put in perfect order by what I call The Church of Softball. We also visited the Oklahoma City National Memorial to the bombings that occurred. It added a note of realism to our trip and we met a wonderful man and three of his children there. When I went to get my Cancer Survivor shirt that was offered at the Strike Out Cancer night at the World Series, there was the teenage girl, still in uniform, standing next to me. Her Dad and I looked at each other with the knowing look the cancer family has for each other. It was very touching. Northwestern Mutual Life gave $20,000 that night to the Oklahoma Cancer Society. It made me proud that Hannah is doing an Internship with them this Summer in Portland!
I want to say one more thing about Dr. Matt Taylor to his family. He is so humble he probably won't show this to them but I hope he does. "Your Dad and your Mother's Husband spends a lot of time away from home. I want you to know what it means to those of us with whom your Dad is spending his time. In the scary world in which cancer patients and their families live, your Dad, your Husband, is a rock. He is hope. he is compassion. Whomever taught him how to interact with patients should receive an award and teach the skills to all Doctors. He may not attend every one of your games, your dance recitals, or your plays, but he is there in spirit and loves you all deeply. I don't know if I could have coped with my frightening disease without my family, my friends, and your Dad. He is a hero to me and an anchor in a scary sea of tests, infusions, and statistics. Thank you for sharing him with us. You are part of my healing and battle because you give up time with him so he can help us. Thank you, bless you, and please keep me in your prayers." Dr. Will Keim
That's all for now friends. Phase three of my treatment begins soon. Do not think for a second that your prayers are not being heard. I can feel them in my soul, and God does not turn His back on those who call out His name. For those of my friends who are not religious...just keep thinking positive thoughts and sending those vibes my way. It takes a village and I am thankful you are in my world.
Let's talk soon!
Will
It is never easy to hear or give news that is less than good. I am aware of this as I share with you the results of my latest PT Scan. Yesterday Donna and I journeyed to Portland to the Knight Cancer Center at the Oregon Health Sciences University to meet with my oncologist, Dr. Matt Taylor. He began by telling us that he was not happy with the scan as it revealed some tumor growth. He was sad and a bit angry at the cancer, and immediately took us through a diagram that explained to two liberal arts majors that my body is being told by my cancer to produce cells, cells that it does not really need, and cells that fuel tumor growth. Eye to eye I could feel his empathy and his concern. We have become friends and my cancer is personal to our family and him.
I will be entering a Clinical Trial of a new drug in cooperation with two existing drugs that have the potential to turn off the 'make cells' message my cancer is giving my body. There will be 140 of us in the study, and I am the first person at OHSU to enroll. Dr. Taylor said, "I believe this will work for you, but if it does not, we have other treatment options available." The study, in which Dr. Taylor and his mentor are primary investigators, will develop treatments involving BRAF inhibitors and the possibility for people like me that we may get additional years to live, learn, and love. The good news was that there is no tumor growth in my liver or kidneys. I sent an email to my children immediately and their love and concern, along with their Mother's, buoyed me up. I was a little sad yesterday but slept well last night and have regained my hope today. The only thing that rises before the sun is the love of God.
The news about the tumors did not shock me as I had felt some strange things going on in my stomach. I also had some bruising under my arms. The energy loss I felt required that I take two transfusions of two units each last week in order to go the the Women's College World Series with Sami in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. When I said my prayers the night before meeting with Dr. Taylor, I asked God to continue to heal me, but if I did not get good news, I knew He would be with me. And He was. I view my cancer battle as a team event and the players are the Doctors, the Researchers, the medicine, God, and my family and friends. It is going to take all of us and I ask for your continued prayers and good thoughts. You all have been so wonderful, so caring, so loving...thank you! Please keep it up! My goal? God gets tired of hearing my name in prayer and heals me to free up some time to listen to the concerns of others!:)
Due to the efforts of Dr. Taylor and Dr. Wang to get me in for transfusions, I had a wonderful week at the softball World Series with Sami. We had talked about going to the event since she was a little girl just starting off playing softball. I was so fatigued I talked to her about not going, but she persisted and told me she would take care of me. She did. We watched up to four games a day, talked softball, strategized, and met some wonderful people. We met Alabama All American Haylie McCleney's Dad who said he and his family would pray for us. We were blessed as well to meet All American Emily Carosone's Dad and Sister who insisted on offering their prayers and a signed Auburn poster for our Corvallis Spartan Softball team. We had dinner with Coach Betsy Hipple and her partner. Betsy coaches two of our former high school players, Chloe and Madeleine, at Claremont Mudd Scripts College in Los Angeles. We also broke bread with Megan McDonald, one of Sami's Oregon Panthers travel ball teammates and Katie Reeves, our friend from Crescent Valley High School in Corvallis. Katie is the Head Coach at Oklahoma Wesleyan. Former rivals, they are now great friends. Naomi and Janet sat in front of us and we really enjoyed talking and laughing with them. Naomi is one of the nation's leading experts on child education and abuse issues. Janet is her business manager. Check out redclayvinegar.com to learn more about their great work with children.
My favorite memory of the week long event was when a UCLA player hit towering fly ball to left field with two outs and her team one run behind. Sami and I immediately held hands stood up and watched in wonder as the ball sailed over the left field fence. Sami was a little girl again, I was younger and cancer free, and the world had been put in perfect order by what I call The Church of Softball. We also visited the Oklahoma City National Memorial to the bombings that occurred. It added a note of realism to our trip and we met a wonderful man and three of his children there. When I went to get my Cancer Survivor shirt that was offered at the Strike Out Cancer night at the World Series, there was the teenage girl, still in uniform, standing next to me. Her Dad and I looked at each other with the knowing look the cancer family has for each other. It was very touching. Northwestern Mutual Life gave $20,000 that night to the Oklahoma Cancer Society. It made me proud that Hannah is doing an Internship with them this Summer in Portland!
I want to say one more thing about Dr. Matt Taylor to his family. He is so humble he probably won't show this to them but I hope he does. "Your Dad and your Mother's Husband spends a lot of time away from home. I want you to know what it means to those of us with whom your Dad is spending his time. In the scary world in which cancer patients and their families live, your Dad, your Husband, is a rock. He is hope. he is compassion. Whomever taught him how to interact with patients should receive an award and teach the skills to all Doctors. He may not attend every one of your games, your dance recitals, or your plays, but he is there in spirit and loves you all deeply. I don't know if I could have coped with my frightening disease without my family, my friends, and your Dad. He is a hero to me and an anchor in a scary sea of tests, infusions, and statistics. Thank you for sharing him with us. You are part of my healing and battle because you give up time with him so he can help us. Thank you, bless you, and please keep me in your prayers." Dr. Will Keim
That's all for now friends. Phase three of my treatment begins soon. Do not think for a second that your prayers are not being heard. I can feel them in my soul, and God does not turn His back on those who call out His name. For those of my friends who are not religious...just keep thinking positive thoughts and sending those vibes my way. It takes a village and I am thankful you are in my world.
Let's talk soon!
Will
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
"You Win The Battle Each And Every Day That You Know That This Life Is Worth Living." Becky Gold
Dear Friends,
I was blessed to be invited to participate in the Claremont College's Relay For Life event on March 28th. This invitation came about as a result of speaking to the Claremont Mudd Scripts Student Athletes on January 19th. Softball Coach Betsy Hipple invited me down in January to speak to the Spring Sport Student Athletes and the event went well. The student athletes were extremely bright, caring, and attentive. The Village at Claremont is one of the most spectacular college towns in America. I grew up one exit down the San Bernardino Freeway in Pomona.
Becky Gold, one of the student athletes, invited me to come back in March to keynote the kickoff event before the relay began. It was to be my first cancer-specific speech. It was a very warm day and the event committee had organized 400 participants from 40 teams to walk for 24 hours to raise over $30,000 to fight cancer. It was so inspiring to see these fine young people giving up a weekend day to stand up against cancer. They had kindly arranged a nice stool and shade for me to speak. I asked the gathered participants ranging in age from 12-70 how many of them had had cancer in their immediate families. 80% of the hands went up. One man was there honoring his father who had passed away a few years earlier. One middle school soccer team wanted to participate and were there in full youthful energy. One Claremont student was there celebrating her own remission from melanoma. Students from the five colleges made up the bulk of the participants.
I told the volunteers that cancer was a magnificent teacher and was like Phi Beta Kappa...it called you, you didn't call it. Cancer was, in my opinion, a family disease housed in one person. And finally, anyone who had had cancer and was living, currently was carrying it, or was a family member should be considered a survivor. It was easy for me to tell the students that cancer taught you to relish and appreciate each day one day at a time and that their youth would last a lot longer if they didn't spend time regretting the past or fearfully anticipating the future. I reminded them that the Bible had advised, "Do not worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Becky Gold emailed me two days later, "Your message could not have been more appropriate for the events! Your speech started off the next amazing 24 hours in the most positive way. I am so grateful that you took the time to come and speak with us. Your positivity is inspiring! You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living. I am keeping you in my prayers and thoughts."
"You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living." Please hear the wisdom of this young woman. Her words should be the mantra for every person, but in particular, for those of us who have cancer. With surgeries in the future, infusions regularly scheduled, side effects...it is so easy to feel overwhelmed. And compared to most cancer patients, I have it great.
But I do feel that what I have going for me is a positive attitude, faith, great family and friend support, an amazing doctor, and students like Becky who teach the old teacher a thing or two about life. I finished my remarks at Claremont by telling them what I tell every audience...the cure for cancer might be in your brains ready to come out, but not if you do not go to class and apply yourselves. I was thrilled that my daughter Sami and her husband Steve were with me to provide support and see the students' great spirits.
Upon arriving home I received a call from an old friend Margaret Miller Meek that our mentor and friend Barb Robel was in hospice. Barb was the Greek Advisor at Kansas State for years and had influenced thousands of students over the years. She was born on July 13, 1943 and died April 4, 2015. She was an R.A. in college and a member of Delta Zeta sorority at K State. She was proceeded in death by her beloved Raydon who ran the Recreation Center at K State. Barb is survived by her children and grandchildren. She loved and raised horses and was an active member of Sedalia Community Church. She ran national conferences and asked me to speak for her several times. We were close friends and her love of students and ability to inspire them to do great things was legendary.
I talked to her a few days before her death thanks to Margaret's call and she told me she loved me and that she was at peace because of her faith. She said she knew she did have long to live but that she looked forward to seeing Raydon again. She asked about my cancer and I told her that it looked like she would get to the other side before me, so I hoped she would be waiting on the shore when I got there. She told me I could count on it. She said she had doubts every now and then and I assured her that Jesus had doubts on more than one occasion, including the Garden of Gethsemane. I shared with her that Jesus was not afraid to die, but was apprehensive about dying. That is, the process of dying. Barb said that helped her and gave her hope. We told each other we loved each other and said goodbye. A couple of days later she was gone. She will never be forgotten.
Her life reveals two things...
You don't have to be famous to have a huge impact on a large number of people's lives. Everyone in the Greek community knows her or of her, but there will be no national holiday Saturday for her memorial service. Yet, tens of thousands of students and former students will stop in Manhattan, Kansas, or wherever they are at, pause, and thank God for Barb's influence on their lives. Her humor, love, and subtle and direct guidance changed people, including me.
Secondly, there is a difference between fearing death and fearing the process of dying. We all know we are going to die one day. Cancer patients just get an early wake up call regarding this. But I think the real apprehension is that we will be a burden on our families, leave not-so-positive memories, or suffer beyond the medicine's ability to numb the pain. I am not glad that I got cancer, but hear me...I am thankful and grateful that I received cancer's reminder that each day is precious, that I should live in the moment, and that I should tell my family and friends that I love them.
Who knows God's mind or the mysteries of life? But in the end, Coach John Wooden was right. The things that matter are family, faith, and vocation. If you know Barb or not, please take a moment at 2 p.m. Central Time Saturday to think of her, and if you just heard about her today, take that time to call a loved one, family member, or friends and tell them that you love them. Life is brief and and a blessed one ticket ride. It is not a dress rehearsal and we are working without a net. And when you think there is no good working in the world, remember the students at the Claremont Colleges raising money for a cure, people like Barb Robel, and remember that you can be part of the solution to life's many questions, quandaries, and quagmires. Someone is waiting for your help, your call, your inspiration today.
April 25th will find me, God willing, giving the keynote address at the Western Oregon University Relay For Life event. I know I will meet someone there who gives me hope, and I pray I will do the same for someone else.
Blessings,
Will
I was blessed to be invited to participate in the Claremont College's Relay For Life event on March 28th. This invitation came about as a result of speaking to the Claremont Mudd Scripts Student Athletes on January 19th. Softball Coach Betsy Hipple invited me down in January to speak to the Spring Sport Student Athletes and the event went well. The student athletes were extremely bright, caring, and attentive. The Village at Claremont is one of the most spectacular college towns in America. I grew up one exit down the San Bernardino Freeway in Pomona.
Becky Gold, one of the student athletes, invited me to come back in March to keynote the kickoff event before the relay began. It was to be my first cancer-specific speech. It was a very warm day and the event committee had organized 400 participants from 40 teams to walk for 24 hours to raise over $30,000 to fight cancer. It was so inspiring to see these fine young people giving up a weekend day to stand up against cancer. They had kindly arranged a nice stool and shade for me to speak. I asked the gathered participants ranging in age from 12-70 how many of them had had cancer in their immediate families. 80% of the hands went up. One man was there honoring his father who had passed away a few years earlier. One middle school soccer team wanted to participate and were there in full youthful energy. One Claremont student was there celebrating her own remission from melanoma. Students from the five colleges made up the bulk of the participants.
I told the volunteers that cancer was a magnificent teacher and was like Phi Beta Kappa...it called you, you didn't call it. Cancer was, in my opinion, a family disease housed in one person. And finally, anyone who had had cancer and was living, currently was carrying it, or was a family member should be considered a survivor. It was easy for me to tell the students that cancer taught you to relish and appreciate each day one day at a time and that their youth would last a lot longer if they didn't spend time regretting the past or fearfully anticipating the future. I reminded them that the Bible had advised, "Do not worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Becky Gold emailed me two days later, "Your message could not have been more appropriate for the events! Your speech started off the next amazing 24 hours in the most positive way. I am so grateful that you took the time to come and speak with us. Your positivity is inspiring! You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living. I am keeping you in my prayers and thoughts."
"You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living." Please hear the wisdom of this young woman. Her words should be the mantra for every person, but in particular, for those of us who have cancer. With surgeries in the future, infusions regularly scheduled, side effects...it is so easy to feel overwhelmed. And compared to most cancer patients, I have it great.
But I do feel that what I have going for me is a positive attitude, faith, great family and friend support, an amazing doctor, and students like Becky who teach the old teacher a thing or two about life. I finished my remarks at Claremont by telling them what I tell every audience...the cure for cancer might be in your brains ready to come out, but not if you do not go to class and apply yourselves. I was thrilled that my daughter Sami and her husband Steve were with me to provide support and see the students' great spirits.
Upon arriving home I received a call from an old friend Margaret Miller Meek that our mentor and friend Barb Robel was in hospice. Barb was the Greek Advisor at Kansas State for years and had influenced thousands of students over the years. She was born on July 13, 1943 and died April 4, 2015. She was an R.A. in college and a member of Delta Zeta sorority at K State. She was proceeded in death by her beloved Raydon who ran the Recreation Center at K State. Barb is survived by her children and grandchildren. She loved and raised horses and was an active member of Sedalia Community Church. She ran national conferences and asked me to speak for her several times. We were close friends and her love of students and ability to inspire them to do great things was legendary.
I talked to her a few days before her death thanks to Margaret's call and she told me she loved me and that she was at peace because of her faith. She said she knew she did have long to live but that she looked forward to seeing Raydon again. She asked about my cancer and I told her that it looked like she would get to the other side before me, so I hoped she would be waiting on the shore when I got there. She told me I could count on it. She said she had doubts every now and then and I assured her that Jesus had doubts on more than one occasion, including the Garden of Gethsemane. I shared with her that Jesus was not afraid to die, but was apprehensive about dying. That is, the process of dying. Barb said that helped her and gave her hope. We told each other we loved each other and said goodbye. A couple of days later she was gone. She will never be forgotten.
Her life reveals two things...
You don't have to be famous to have a huge impact on a large number of people's lives. Everyone in the Greek community knows her or of her, but there will be no national holiday Saturday for her memorial service. Yet, tens of thousands of students and former students will stop in Manhattan, Kansas, or wherever they are at, pause, and thank God for Barb's influence on their lives. Her humor, love, and subtle and direct guidance changed people, including me.
Secondly, there is a difference between fearing death and fearing the process of dying. We all know we are going to die one day. Cancer patients just get an early wake up call regarding this. But I think the real apprehension is that we will be a burden on our families, leave not-so-positive memories, or suffer beyond the medicine's ability to numb the pain. I am not glad that I got cancer, but hear me...I am thankful and grateful that I received cancer's reminder that each day is precious, that I should live in the moment, and that I should tell my family and friends that I love them.
Who knows God's mind or the mysteries of life? But in the end, Coach John Wooden was right. The things that matter are family, faith, and vocation. If you know Barb or not, please take a moment at 2 p.m. Central Time Saturday to think of her, and if you just heard about her today, take that time to call a loved one, family member, or friends and tell them that you love them. Life is brief and and a blessed one ticket ride. It is not a dress rehearsal and we are working without a net. And when you think there is no good working in the world, remember the students at the Claremont Colleges raising money for a cure, people like Barb Robel, and remember that you can be part of the solution to life's many questions, quandaries, and quagmires. Someone is waiting for your help, your call, your inspiration today.
April 25th will find me, God willing, giving the keynote address at the Western Oregon University Relay For Life event. I know I will meet someone there who gives me hope, and I pray I will do the same for someone else.
Blessings,
Will
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
"The Thing About Faith Is That You Have To Have It Before You Need It." Geoffrey Canada
Dear Friends,
I have had the good fortune to meet some amazing people during my career on the road as an inspirational speaker and educator. One of those people is Geoffrey Canada. He is an American Educator and Social Activist, and the Founder of the Harlem Children's Zone in New York City.
We shared the podium for the Rockwall Independent School District in Texas one Summer speaking to administrators and teachers from the District.
After describing his school to the audience, his journey, and how the school had reclaimed one hundred square blocks of Harlem, he was asked, "What is your secret?" His students graduate, go onto to college, and families, and the culture, are changed. His response? "Faith. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it." It was profound. He was humble, grateful, and thankful to have had the opportunity the raise the bar for generations of students and their families.
I had my first official OHSU PET Scan February 26th and sat with Donna in the office of Dr. Matt Taylor on March 2nd to look at the results. The night before I had slept in 15 minutes increments, up and down, nervous, desperate, and fully aware of the Dark Voice whispering, "What if..." Finally it was 5 a.m. and time to head to Portland for the appointment. I tried to remind myself of the tribe in Sierra Leone praying for me at their Mosque. The Cloistered Nuns in Idaho that my relatives the Taylors and allied families had praying for me. The prayers of my sons's Jewish girlfriend Grace and her family. The Baptists in Texas. My 'Battle Buddies' on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. My own Church in Corvallis and Rev. Clay Stauffer's Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee.
Father Silva in California, The Texas Softball Team in Austin, Alabama's Gymnastics and Softball teams in Tuscaloosa. All that...and the Dark Voice was still audible and troubling to me.
Doctor Taylor said, "You've seen this?", referring to the Scan results. I said "No." He said, "Well..."
The pause was probably under three seconds, but in that time I heard his words from the night before's lack of sleep, "I have some bad news for you." I heard that one at 3:30 a.m. It wasn't Dr. Taylor, but you know I am creative and can create a whole bunch of chatter not based in anything other than fear. Doc said, "Well...this is outstanding! I am so pleased. That one (tumor) is gone, that one is gone, that one is shrinking, that one is shrinking, that one is not growing(...he continued) There is absolutely no sign of new cancer sites or tumors." I tried to say thank you to him but I could not speak. I finally said, voice shaking, "I was so apprehensive Doc. Thank you!" I was overcome with relief, thankfulness, gratitude, and a host of emotions caused in part by the seriousness of the situation, and the lack of sleep and abundance of worry from the night before.
When I finally gathered myself, I asked, "What can I tell my friends? They will ask." Doctor Taylor told me to tell you the results were excellent. My drug, Keytruda, was working very well, and that about 40% of the tumors were gone! A little over a third were shrinking, and a little under a third were the same size but not growing and were stable. Emboldened by the good news through my fear, I said, "How long might I have Doc? 2 years? 5 years? More?" He said, "We just don't know. These drugs are so new. This drug is working for you. The first drug you took kept someone alive for 10 years. That drug has only been out ten years, so we just don't know yet for the Immunotherapy Chemotherapies." I said, "Perhaps I should try to live this one day at a time and be thankful for each day." He said, "I like that. I think it is a good plan." Dr. Taylor is a rock star!
Here is the teaching point to me, and perhaps to you as well. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it. I have it and I need it! Or do I? How is it that a man like me who has been blessed to have great friends, meaningful work, have married a phenomenal woman, be the Father of four amazing children, be a grandfather, and have talked about, married, buried, and baptized people in the name of God.....how is it that that man, me, can be up all night worrying and not trusting, that God will comfort me. Be with me. Refuse to let me walk this journey alone. Jesus said, "Ask, and you will hear; seek, and you will find; knock on the door and it shall be opened for you." Less than two week ago I stood in from of my brothers and sisters in Christ at the Woodmont Christian Church and preached on the advice Jesus gave in the Gospel of Matthew, "Which of you by worrying can add a single minute to your life? Do not worry about tomorrow, each day has enough trouble of its own." I often tell students to ask, believe, and receive. My favorite hymn, "God Will Take Care of You." says:
Be not dismayed whate'er betide,
God will take care of you;
Beneath His wings of love abide,
God will take care of you.
Refrain:
God will take care of you,
Through every day, o'er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.
Through days of toil when heart doth fail,
God will take care of you;
When dangers fierce your path assail,
God will take care of you.
All you may need He will provide,
God will take care of you;
Nothing you ask will be denied,
God will take care of you.
No matter what may be the test,
God will take care of you;
Lean, weary one, upon His breast,
God will take care of you.
(Music by W. Stillman Martin, Lyrics by Civilla D. Martin. Aretha Franklin sang this perhaps as well as anyone ever has!)
So, why my doubt? Why my fear? It came to me this morning in a conversation with my friend Tim. I said to him, "I am embarrassed by my fear and doubt. I need to just surrender to my faith." I think that's it for me. How about you? Most of us believe in something larger than ourselves. Why am I reciting the Lord's Prayer 72 times in a row flying in a small plane with Christa over the Cascades? Can God have made it any more clear for me than it is? My biological Father Will S. Keim, Jr. dies before I am born, and my Step Father Jack R. Wilhelm raises me as if I was his own. God places Father Silva in my life at college, and Don Duns, and my life is redirected from self defeating behavior into a life, as Nouwen says, of a 'Wounded Healer.' My family never gives up on me even when I am pondering giving up on myself. My fraternity provides me with brothers I never had but needed. Softball empowers me to find the joy of coaching. Can God make it anymore clear to me...Trust. Have Faith. Believe. It Will Be Alright. I Am Here For You.
So I surrender to the fact that even with all of my character defects, you will still be my friends. I give up the negativity and doubt that the Dark Voice wants me to focus on. I quit my job as endless questioner and 'what if' specialist. Each year I cry, and now I know why, when Bill Murray, in the movie Scrooged, says, "It's a Miracle. And you can have the Miracle. And once you have it, you're going to want it again. And you're going to want everyone to have it. And you can be someone's Miracle." We may believe different things and in different ways, but I believe in you. And I believe in me. And I believe, as Dr. Marcus Borg said, that the God who buoys up in life will buoy us up in death. That's all I have got for you today, save this...
"Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow." Surrender to the Faith you have always had within you and stop fighting it. Open your eyes and see. Open your ears and hear. Open your heart and feel the love of God that has always been there for you. It's a miracle!
Blessings and Love,
Will
I have had the good fortune to meet some amazing people during my career on the road as an inspirational speaker and educator. One of those people is Geoffrey Canada. He is an American Educator and Social Activist, and the Founder of the Harlem Children's Zone in New York City.
We shared the podium for the Rockwall Independent School District in Texas one Summer speaking to administrators and teachers from the District.
After describing his school to the audience, his journey, and how the school had reclaimed one hundred square blocks of Harlem, he was asked, "What is your secret?" His students graduate, go onto to college, and families, and the culture, are changed. His response? "Faith. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it." It was profound. He was humble, grateful, and thankful to have had the opportunity the raise the bar for generations of students and their families.
I had my first official OHSU PET Scan February 26th and sat with Donna in the office of Dr. Matt Taylor on March 2nd to look at the results. The night before I had slept in 15 minutes increments, up and down, nervous, desperate, and fully aware of the Dark Voice whispering, "What if..." Finally it was 5 a.m. and time to head to Portland for the appointment. I tried to remind myself of the tribe in Sierra Leone praying for me at their Mosque. The Cloistered Nuns in Idaho that my relatives the Taylors and allied families had praying for me. The prayers of my sons's Jewish girlfriend Grace and her family. The Baptists in Texas. My 'Battle Buddies' on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. My own Church in Corvallis and Rev. Clay Stauffer's Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee.
Father Silva in California, The Texas Softball Team in Austin, Alabama's Gymnastics and Softball teams in Tuscaloosa. All that...and the Dark Voice was still audible and troubling to me.
Doctor Taylor said, "You've seen this?", referring to the Scan results. I said "No." He said, "Well..."
The pause was probably under three seconds, but in that time I heard his words from the night before's lack of sleep, "I have some bad news for you." I heard that one at 3:30 a.m. It wasn't Dr. Taylor, but you know I am creative and can create a whole bunch of chatter not based in anything other than fear. Doc said, "Well...this is outstanding! I am so pleased. That one (tumor) is gone, that one is gone, that one is shrinking, that one is shrinking, that one is not growing(...he continued) There is absolutely no sign of new cancer sites or tumors." I tried to say thank you to him but I could not speak. I finally said, voice shaking, "I was so apprehensive Doc. Thank you!" I was overcome with relief, thankfulness, gratitude, and a host of emotions caused in part by the seriousness of the situation, and the lack of sleep and abundance of worry from the night before.
When I finally gathered myself, I asked, "What can I tell my friends? They will ask." Doctor Taylor told me to tell you the results were excellent. My drug, Keytruda, was working very well, and that about 40% of the tumors were gone! A little over a third were shrinking, and a little under a third were the same size but not growing and were stable. Emboldened by the good news through my fear, I said, "How long might I have Doc? 2 years? 5 years? More?" He said, "We just don't know. These drugs are so new. This drug is working for you. The first drug you took kept someone alive for 10 years. That drug has only been out ten years, so we just don't know yet for the Immunotherapy Chemotherapies." I said, "Perhaps I should try to live this one day at a time and be thankful for each day." He said, "I like that. I think it is a good plan." Dr. Taylor is a rock star!
Here is the teaching point to me, and perhaps to you as well. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it. I have it and I need it! Or do I? How is it that a man like me who has been blessed to have great friends, meaningful work, have married a phenomenal woman, be the Father of four amazing children, be a grandfather, and have talked about, married, buried, and baptized people in the name of God.....how is it that that man, me, can be up all night worrying and not trusting, that God will comfort me. Be with me. Refuse to let me walk this journey alone. Jesus said, "Ask, and you will hear; seek, and you will find; knock on the door and it shall be opened for you." Less than two week ago I stood in from of my brothers and sisters in Christ at the Woodmont Christian Church and preached on the advice Jesus gave in the Gospel of Matthew, "Which of you by worrying can add a single minute to your life? Do not worry about tomorrow, each day has enough trouble of its own." I often tell students to ask, believe, and receive. My favorite hymn, "God Will Take Care of You." says:
Be not dismayed whate'er betide,
God will take care of you;
Beneath His wings of love abide,
God will take care of you.
Refrain:
God will take care of you,
Through every day, o'er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.
Through days of toil when heart doth fail,
God will take care of you;
When dangers fierce your path assail,
God will take care of you.
All you may need He will provide,
God will take care of you;
Nothing you ask will be denied,
God will take care of you.
No matter what may be the test,
God will take care of you;
Lean, weary one, upon His breast,
God will take care of you.
(Music by W. Stillman Martin, Lyrics by Civilla D. Martin. Aretha Franklin sang this perhaps as well as anyone ever has!)
So, why my doubt? Why my fear? It came to me this morning in a conversation with my friend Tim. I said to him, "I am embarrassed by my fear and doubt. I need to just surrender to my faith." I think that's it for me. How about you? Most of us believe in something larger than ourselves. Why am I reciting the Lord's Prayer 72 times in a row flying in a small plane with Christa over the Cascades? Can God have made it any more clear for me than it is? My biological Father Will S. Keim, Jr. dies before I am born, and my Step Father Jack R. Wilhelm raises me as if I was his own. God places Father Silva in my life at college, and Don Duns, and my life is redirected from self defeating behavior into a life, as Nouwen says, of a 'Wounded Healer.' My family never gives up on me even when I am pondering giving up on myself. My fraternity provides me with brothers I never had but needed. Softball empowers me to find the joy of coaching. Can God make it anymore clear to me...Trust. Have Faith. Believe. It Will Be Alright. I Am Here For You.
So I surrender to the fact that even with all of my character defects, you will still be my friends. I give up the negativity and doubt that the Dark Voice wants me to focus on. I quit my job as endless questioner and 'what if' specialist. Each year I cry, and now I know why, when Bill Murray, in the movie Scrooged, says, "It's a Miracle. And you can have the Miracle. And once you have it, you're going to want it again. And you're going to want everyone to have it. And you can be someone's Miracle." We may believe different things and in different ways, but I believe in you. And I believe in me. And I believe, as Dr. Marcus Borg said, that the God who buoys up in life will buoy us up in death. That's all I have got for you today, save this...
"Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow." Surrender to the Faith you have always had within you and stop fighting it. Open your eyes and see. Open your ears and hear. Open your heart and feel the love of God that has always been there for you. It's a miracle!
Blessings and Love,
Will
Monday, February 16, 2015
Travellin' On The City of New Orleans
Dear Friends,
Donna and I had a wonderful trip to Nashville, Tennessee to speak to the Alpha Omicron Pi 2015 Leadership Academy, appropriately themed "To Protect And To Serve." Nearly 500 undergraduate and alumnae sisters gathered in Franklin, Tennessee near their International Headquarters in Brentwood to discuss the ways and means of leadership, how to protect their amazing 118 year tradition, and to serve the communities in which they have Chapters. I want to thank Jodie Hassell, Events and Public Relations Manager, International President Allison Allgier, and Executive Director Troylyn LeForge for their kindnesses extended to Donna and me. The sisterhood I experienced in being with them was real and the kind that shapes a life and a career. Special thanks to the undergraduate sisters for their work with the Arthritis Foundations and for their caretaking of the vision that their four founders put forth for a lifetime of friendship, sisterhood, and service. This women's fraternity is positively impacting the lives of hundreds of thousands of women worldwide. I am pleased that AOPi is back at Oregon State University!
Donna and I took the Empire Builder Amtrak train from Portland to Chicago and then the City of New Orleans train to Memphis before driving to Nashville. Though a week before Mardi Gras, the train was filled with revelers. Thank God we have one city in America like Nawlins. Everyone seems to live in the moment. That's a lesson cancer has taught me. While in Memphis, we visited the Chi Omega Headquarters as our daughters Christa and Hannah are Chi O's. We were given a nice tour of the beautiful headquarters facility which is being expanded to meet the needs of a growing women's fraternity. I got out of the gift shop in under one hundred dollars which was quite an accomplishment.
Much is said negatively about fraternities and sororities, but after my time with the AOPis and our tour of Chi O, I remain a big fan of these groups which call women into positions of leadership and provide fantastic post graduate networking opportunities.
We then took the short trip to Nashville to stay with my former student and now friend and colleague Rev. Clay Stauffer, his wife Dr. Megan Stauffer, and their two children Miss Montgomerie and Mr. Clayton as they say in the South. Clay provided an opportunity for me to present a Saturday morning program on leadership which was attended by over a hundred members of the Woodmont Christian Church where Clay is the Senior Minister. This was my third visit to Woodmont and I am amazed by the incredibly warm Southern welcome they extend to visitors. The Church is growing and I can see why. We attended a Mardi Gras party Saturday evening hosted by real Cajuns who are members of the Church. As it is with most Acadians, we mentioned how much we liked the decorations and beads and they made us take them home for our grandchildren Addie and Harvey. You don't dare tell Southerners you like something, especially those from Looziana, because they will just give whatever it is to you and make you take it home.
I preached two sermons on Sunday, entitled "Three Great Teachers", about Dr. Marcus Borg, cancer, and Jesus and the lessons they had taught me. Audio recordings of the sermon are available through Woodmont, but let me say that the highlight was the music. It was amazing. In the early service a Celtic Band called City of Light played and their music lifted my spirit as high as the Woodmont Steeple. I do not know if they have CDs, but if they do, get them. At the later service the Choir performed and was beautiful in their presentations of the hymns. Being a member of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in the west, it was eye opening and amazing to have a huge Church full twice on the same day. When the children came forward for the Children's Moment, well over 50 children made their way to the front. I want to thank the soon-to-be members Ewing Family for taking us out to lunch, and to Rev. Dr. Roy Stauffer (Clay's Father and Associate Minister) for the gift of the book "The Rebirthing Of God" by John Philip Newell, and to Bryan Sargent for his gift of the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. The later book is about a Professor dying of cancer and the last lecture he gave at Carnegie Mellon University. Powerful and poignant. Mr. Sargent inscribed the book, "Will, Thanks for sharing your insights and passion. You and Donna are one of us. You have our prayers." At this time of my life when I am hoping that my life mattered in some way to others, it was a beautiful gesture to include me in the life of their vital congregation. If you are ever in Nashville, drop by Woodmont Christian Church. Their dynamic program in December called "Christmas in Bethlehem" is the most creative Christmas program I have ever seen. Rev. Clay Stauffer will certainly welcome you as will his congregation.
Our trains were on time both ways and we read, talked, watched movies (we particularly liked The Butler and Wild) and sipped a little wine. It was a beautiful trip with a beautiful woman.
Cancer-wise, I had my 8th chemo infusion treatment on February 12th. I have now had 4 Yervoy and 4 Keytruda treatments if you are interested. Special thanks to my friends Dr. Michael Finley and Kimber Williams for sending me articles on my drugs and the treatment of melanoma that give me hope. I will have a PET Scan on February 26th and then we will be able to assess progress. I cannot say thank you enough to the Knight Cancer Center and the Oregon Health Sciences University for the excellent care I have received. Particularly Dr. Matthew Taylor, Oncologist and his Nurse Practitioner Melanie Farnsworth, FNP, AOCNP. I do not want to overreact, but I am pleased to tell you that the golf ball sized tumor by my bellybutton has either disappeared, or shrunk to the point where neither the nurse or I can locate it. As my hero Bill Murray said in Caddie Shack, "I got that going for me."
My speaking schedule over the next several weeks includes two days at Linfield College to speak to Greeks and Student Athletes, a presentation to the Benton County High School Career Convention, The Humane Society, a trip to Southern California to speak to the Claremont Mudd Scripts Colleges Relay For Life Cancer program (and watch three of our high school now college softball players compete against each other!) This will be my first official cancer speech at CMS and I am nervous and excited. I am thinking about starting a group called the "Collegiate Cancer Community" to support all the students who are wrestling with cancer in themselves and their families. A stunning number of students have told me their stories and I think we could be a powerful support group for each other and a potential fundraising group for the fight against cancer. Let me know what you think of this idea. I will speak at the 100th Anniversary Dinner of Greek Life at Oregon State University, and then to 5,000 high delegates at the State of Iowa FFA Convention in Ames, Iowa hosted by the great Iowa State University.
The point is this...I am trying to live my life and not let cancer dictate what I do and how I do it. This morning the dark voice said to me at 4:54 am., "What if the treatments don't work? How will the end be? What..." You get the point. It is then that you are so very important to me as what my friend Tommy from Michigan calls "Battle Buddies." The dark voice scares me awake and then I realize that I am not in this alone. I whisper, "Get behind me Satan.", and then I think of all of you who are praying for me, thinking good thoughts, and supporting me spiritually and through acts of friendship. That's how I go back to sleep...thinking of you and how truly blessed I am and how grateful I am for you...each of you. I told the Woodmont Christian Church members that I had a ton of respect for agnostics and atheists because they could face cancer alone. I cannot. I acknowledge my need for what they would call a crutch, and I call God. I admit that alone I am weak and scared, but buoyed up by you, I can face the darkness until the light again comes through my windows. I always knew I had amazing friends and family members, but cancer has drawn those relationships into language. It has made it easier for me to say "I love you.", especially to my male friends with whom friendship and love rarely enters into words.
And news flash...I just took a call from Shahin Edalatdju, our Church's sponsored refugee from two decades ago who has asked me to baptize his two sons when Sami and I are in Southern California in March. In the midst of my cancer journey, some of the most amazing things have presented themselves. When he arrived from Iran, he could not speak English and was all alone. He now is a successful husband and father, business man, and Christian. He once told, "I have found the God of love." Me too. Cancer has reintroduced me to the God that I had frankly just taken for granted. And like God, Shahin never gave up on me, nor forgot our friendship.
So my daughter Christa is right again. My blog entry has become what she calls a "novella." Wait until she gets to this one. I love you all and pray for you every night under the "Thank you God for..." section of my prayers. Be in touch.
Will
Donna and I had a wonderful trip to Nashville, Tennessee to speak to the Alpha Omicron Pi 2015 Leadership Academy, appropriately themed "To Protect And To Serve." Nearly 500 undergraduate and alumnae sisters gathered in Franklin, Tennessee near their International Headquarters in Brentwood to discuss the ways and means of leadership, how to protect their amazing 118 year tradition, and to serve the communities in which they have Chapters. I want to thank Jodie Hassell, Events and Public Relations Manager, International President Allison Allgier, and Executive Director Troylyn LeForge for their kindnesses extended to Donna and me. The sisterhood I experienced in being with them was real and the kind that shapes a life and a career. Special thanks to the undergraduate sisters for their work with the Arthritis Foundations and for their caretaking of the vision that their four founders put forth for a lifetime of friendship, sisterhood, and service. This women's fraternity is positively impacting the lives of hundreds of thousands of women worldwide. I am pleased that AOPi is back at Oregon State University!
Donna and I took the Empire Builder Amtrak train from Portland to Chicago and then the City of New Orleans train to Memphis before driving to Nashville. Though a week before Mardi Gras, the train was filled with revelers. Thank God we have one city in America like Nawlins. Everyone seems to live in the moment. That's a lesson cancer has taught me. While in Memphis, we visited the Chi Omega Headquarters as our daughters Christa and Hannah are Chi O's. We were given a nice tour of the beautiful headquarters facility which is being expanded to meet the needs of a growing women's fraternity. I got out of the gift shop in under one hundred dollars which was quite an accomplishment.
Much is said negatively about fraternities and sororities, but after my time with the AOPis and our tour of Chi O, I remain a big fan of these groups which call women into positions of leadership and provide fantastic post graduate networking opportunities.
We then took the short trip to Nashville to stay with my former student and now friend and colleague Rev. Clay Stauffer, his wife Dr. Megan Stauffer, and their two children Miss Montgomerie and Mr. Clayton as they say in the South. Clay provided an opportunity for me to present a Saturday morning program on leadership which was attended by over a hundred members of the Woodmont Christian Church where Clay is the Senior Minister. This was my third visit to Woodmont and I am amazed by the incredibly warm Southern welcome they extend to visitors. The Church is growing and I can see why. We attended a Mardi Gras party Saturday evening hosted by real Cajuns who are members of the Church. As it is with most Acadians, we mentioned how much we liked the decorations and beads and they made us take them home for our grandchildren Addie and Harvey. You don't dare tell Southerners you like something, especially those from Looziana, because they will just give whatever it is to you and make you take it home.
I preached two sermons on Sunday, entitled "Three Great Teachers", about Dr. Marcus Borg, cancer, and Jesus and the lessons they had taught me. Audio recordings of the sermon are available through Woodmont, but let me say that the highlight was the music. It was amazing. In the early service a Celtic Band called City of Light played and their music lifted my spirit as high as the Woodmont Steeple. I do not know if they have CDs, but if they do, get them. At the later service the Choir performed and was beautiful in their presentations of the hymns. Being a member of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in the west, it was eye opening and amazing to have a huge Church full twice on the same day. When the children came forward for the Children's Moment, well over 50 children made their way to the front. I want to thank the soon-to-be members Ewing Family for taking us out to lunch, and to Rev. Dr. Roy Stauffer (Clay's Father and Associate Minister) for the gift of the book "The Rebirthing Of God" by John Philip Newell, and to Bryan Sargent for his gift of the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. The later book is about a Professor dying of cancer and the last lecture he gave at Carnegie Mellon University. Powerful and poignant. Mr. Sargent inscribed the book, "Will, Thanks for sharing your insights and passion. You and Donna are one of us. You have our prayers." At this time of my life when I am hoping that my life mattered in some way to others, it was a beautiful gesture to include me in the life of their vital congregation. If you are ever in Nashville, drop by Woodmont Christian Church. Their dynamic program in December called "Christmas in Bethlehem" is the most creative Christmas program I have ever seen. Rev. Clay Stauffer will certainly welcome you as will his congregation.
Our trains were on time both ways and we read, talked, watched movies (we particularly liked The Butler and Wild) and sipped a little wine. It was a beautiful trip with a beautiful woman.
Cancer-wise, I had my 8th chemo infusion treatment on February 12th. I have now had 4 Yervoy and 4 Keytruda treatments if you are interested. Special thanks to my friends Dr. Michael Finley and Kimber Williams for sending me articles on my drugs and the treatment of melanoma that give me hope. I will have a PET Scan on February 26th and then we will be able to assess progress. I cannot say thank you enough to the Knight Cancer Center and the Oregon Health Sciences University for the excellent care I have received. Particularly Dr. Matthew Taylor, Oncologist and his Nurse Practitioner Melanie Farnsworth, FNP, AOCNP. I do not want to overreact, but I am pleased to tell you that the golf ball sized tumor by my bellybutton has either disappeared, or shrunk to the point where neither the nurse or I can locate it. As my hero Bill Murray said in Caddie Shack, "I got that going for me."
My speaking schedule over the next several weeks includes two days at Linfield College to speak to Greeks and Student Athletes, a presentation to the Benton County High School Career Convention, The Humane Society, a trip to Southern California to speak to the Claremont Mudd Scripts Colleges Relay For Life Cancer program (and watch three of our high school now college softball players compete against each other!) This will be my first official cancer speech at CMS and I am nervous and excited. I am thinking about starting a group called the "Collegiate Cancer Community" to support all the students who are wrestling with cancer in themselves and their families. A stunning number of students have told me their stories and I think we could be a powerful support group for each other and a potential fundraising group for the fight against cancer. Let me know what you think of this idea. I will speak at the 100th Anniversary Dinner of Greek Life at Oregon State University, and then to 5,000 high delegates at the State of Iowa FFA Convention in Ames, Iowa hosted by the great Iowa State University.
The point is this...I am trying to live my life and not let cancer dictate what I do and how I do it. This morning the dark voice said to me at 4:54 am., "What if the treatments don't work? How will the end be? What..." You get the point. It is then that you are so very important to me as what my friend Tommy from Michigan calls "Battle Buddies." The dark voice scares me awake and then I realize that I am not in this alone. I whisper, "Get behind me Satan.", and then I think of all of you who are praying for me, thinking good thoughts, and supporting me spiritually and through acts of friendship. That's how I go back to sleep...thinking of you and how truly blessed I am and how grateful I am for you...each of you. I told the Woodmont Christian Church members that I had a ton of respect for agnostics and atheists because they could face cancer alone. I cannot. I acknowledge my need for what they would call a crutch, and I call God. I admit that alone I am weak and scared, but buoyed up by you, I can face the darkness until the light again comes through my windows. I always knew I had amazing friends and family members, but cancer has drawn those relationships into language. It has made it easier for me to say "I love you.", especially to my male friends with whom friendship and love rarely enters into words.
And news flash...I just took a call from Shahin Edalatdju, our Church's sponsored refugee from two decades ago who has asked me to baptize his two sons when Sami and I are in Southern California in March. In the midst of my cancer journey, some of the most amazing things have presented themselves. When he arrived from Iran, he could not speak English and was all alone. He now is a successful husband and father, business man, and Christian. He once told, "I have found the God of love." Me too. Cancer has reintroduced me to the God that I had frankly just taken for granted. And like God, Shahin never gave up on me, nor forgot our friendship.
So my daughter Christa is right again. My blog entry has become what she calls a "novella." Wait until she gets to this one. I love you all and pray for you every night under the "Thank you God for..." section of my prayers. Be in touch.
Will
Monday, February 2, 2015
Lagniappe: Amazing Students, A Top Five List, & Getting Your Sisu On
Dear Friends,
I had two wonderful visits to Chico State University speaking to the Residential Life Staff, and to Claremont Mudd Scripps to address the Student Athletes in cooperation with the Kravis Leadership Institute. One school a public state university in Northern California, and the other a consortium of private colleges in Southern California. The common denominator? Great young men and women pursuing their dreams and vocations.
Special thanks to Dr. David Stephen and Dr. Carolyn Stephen for their hospitality and to Connie Huyck for coordinating my visit to do two workshops for the Resident Assistants. Their willingness to advise other students, provide programs, and create community in the halls is admirable! David and I have been friends for 30 years and Carolyn and Connie are not far behind. A shout out as well to Sara Thompson, Betsy Hipple, and Dr. Ron Riggio for making me feel so welcome at Claremont. Their students were exceptional and it is hard to think of a more collegial environment in our nation. Donna and I also were blessed to see Chloe Rodman and Madeleine Edwards, two of my former softball players, who are attending CMS and playing softball. They have really fallen in love with the place.
One of the Student Athletes from CMS told me that her Aunt calls her cancer "her unruly cells." I thought this was very creative. Another young woman told me she had been diagnosed with melanoma at age 11. She was now 20 and had been through 13 biopsies. She said, "You can live with this Dr. Keim." Sometimes I wonder who is teaching who! Students from both CSU and CMS shared their personal cancer stories and those from their families. We are a big group and as horrible as it is, cancer brings people together and creates community between them.
* * * * *
I provided my Doctor Matt Taylor a Top Five List of "Why It Is OK To Have A New Year's Eve Doctor's Appointment With Your LDS Doctor." Matt is Mormon and a great friend. He truly enjoyed the list and took it home to share with his wife. If you don't know all the places and concepts, that's alright.
Top Five List...
5. I am your only patient who has been to Nauvoo.
4. If you weren't with me, your wife would be making you listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Greatest Hits.
3. I am your only patient who knows that the Angel Moroni is not a pasta dish at an Italian restaurant.
2. If you weren't here with me, you would be home with five women is varying states of estrogen development. And...
1. Who really cares if I cut into your Apple Cider time on New Year's Eve!
Dr. Taylor thought number three should be number one, but he loved the effort and together we try to face our cancer with positivism and humor. Our 12/31 infusion went well as did our January 21st appointment. My next infusion will be February 12th and then we will have a CT Scan to see how well the treatments are going. Your continued prayers are appreciated!
* * * * *
I was blessed to meet a great guy from the Upper Peninsula in Michigan named Tommy. He and his wife had visited our home with Dave and Sandy Bonsall and we became friends. He served in Vietnam and then as a maximum security prison guard. Now retired, he sent me a wonderful note about my use of the word 'negotiation' rather than 'fight' with cancer. He said he wanted me to show the same Sisu the Finnish soldiers exhibited when the Russian Army had invaded Finland. Sisu is a Finnish word that means 'adamant courage and stamina in the face of adversity." Tommy wanted to know that I was 'all in' because he considered himself a 'battle buddy' and that I had those kind of friends all over the country. This was very touching!
I want you all to know that we are not going softly into the night and taking this passively or as a predestined outcome. I want to be healthy. I pray to God that I will be healed. My Doctor and I are fighting the good fight and trying to use positivism and humor to supplement and enhance the drugs and infusions. We are very serious and I confess that sometimes at night I get scared. The dark 'what ifs?' sneak in and I wake up frightened. But then I think of all of you, as Tommy put it, my 'battle buddies', all of your prayers, cards, calls, visits, and efforts to help. I pray and remember that God is more powerful than any disease including cancer. I use the word negotiation but be clear we are battling, we are hopeful, and we are determined to beat these unruly cells. The Keim Family and Dr. Matt Taylor are all in!
* * * * *
Donna and I are preparing today to leave for Nashville, Tennessee to speak to the AOPi National Sorority Leadership Meeting and then to give a workshop on Leadership for the Woodmont Christian Church Deacons and Elders in Nashville. Rev. Clay Stauffer, one of my former students from TCU and now Senior Minister, has also asked me to preach on Sunday. It has been a while, but the scripture from Matthew 6:24-36 will get me through. The people at Woodmont are very kind and welcoming and it is one of the larger congregations in our denomination, The Christian Church (Disciples of Christ.) We will return on February 11th and take a treatment the next day.
Blessings to all of you, my 'battle buddies'. You are making me stronger with more sisu than I could ever have been alone. I am thankful and grateful! With love,
Will
I had two wonderful visits to Chico State University speaking to the Residential Life Staff, and to Claremont Mudd Scripps to address the Student Athletes in cooperation with the Kravis Leadership Institute. One school a public state university in Northern California, and the other a consortium of private colleges in Southern California. The common denominator? Great young men and women pursuing their dreams and vocations.
Special thanks to Dr. David Stephen and Dr. Carolyn Stephen for their hospitality and to Connie Huyck for coordinating my visit to do two workshops for the Resident Assistants. Their willingness to advise other students, provide programs, and create community in the halls is admirable! David and I have been friends for 30 years and Carolyn and Connie are not far behind. A shout out as well to Sara Thompson, Betsy Hipple, and Dr. Ron Riggio for making me feel so welcome at Claremont. Their students were exceptional and it is hard to think of a more collegial environment in our nation. Donna and I also were blessed to see Chloe Rodman and Madeleine Edwards, two of my former softball players, who are attending CMS and playing softball. They have really fallen in love with the place.
One of the Student Athletes from CMS told me that her Aunt calls her cancer "her unruly cells." I thought this was very creative. Another young woman told me she had been diagnosed with melanoma at age 11. She was now 20 and had been through 13 biopsies. She said, "You can live with this Dr. Keim." Sometimes I wonder who is teaching who! Students from both CSU and CMS shared their personal cancer stories and those from their families. We are a big group and as horrible as it is, cancer brings people together and creates community between them.
* * * * *
I provided my Doctor Matt Taylor a Top Five List of "Why It Is OK To Have A New Year's Eve Doctor's Appointment With Your LDS Doctor." Matt is Mormon and a great friend. He truly enjoyed the list and took it home to share with his wife. If you don't know all the places and concepts, that's alright.
Top Five List...
5. I am your only patient who has been to Nauvoo.
4. If you weren't with me, your wife would be making you listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Greatest Hits.
3. I am your only patient who knows that the Angel Moroni is not a pasta dish at an Italian restaurant.
2. If you weren't here with me, you would be home with five women is varying states of estrogen development. And...
1. Who really cares if I cut into your Apple Cider time on New Year's Eve!
Dr. Taylor thought number three should be number one, but he loved the effort and together we try to face our cancer with positivism and humor. Our 12/31 infusion went well as did our January 21st appointment. My next infusion will be February 12th and then we will have a CT Scan to see how well the treatments are going. Your continued prayers are appreciated!
* * * * *
I was blessed to meet a great guy from the Upper Peninsula in Michigan named Tommy. He and his wife had visited our home with Dave and Sandy Bonsall and we became friends. He served in Vietnam and then as a maximum security prison guard. Now retired, he sent me a wonderful note about my use of the word 'negotiation' rather than 'fight' with cancer. He said he wanted me to show the same Sisu the Finnish soldiers exhibited when the Russian Army had invaded Finland. Sisu is a Finnish word that means 'adamant courage and stamina in the face of adversity." Tommy wanted to know that I was 'all in' because he considered himself a 'battle buddy' and that I had those kind of friends all over the country. This was very touching!
I want you all to know that we are not going softly into the night and taking this passively or as a predestined outcome. I want to be healthy. I pray to God that I will be healed. My Doctor and I are fighting the good fight and trying to use positivism and humor to supplement and enhance the drugs and infusions. We are very serious and I confess that sometimes at night I get scared. The dark 'what ifs?' sneak in and I wake up frightened. But then I think of all of you, as Tommy put it, my 'battle buddies', all of your prayers, cards, calls, visits, and efforts to help. I pray and remember that God is more powerful than any disease including cancer. I use the word negotiation but be clear we are battling, we are hopeful, and we are determined to beat these unruly cells. The Keim Family and Dr. Matt Taylor are all in!
* * * * *
Donna and I are preparing today to leave for Nashville, Tennessee to speak to the AOPi National Sorority Leadership Meeting and then to give a workshop on Leadership for the Woodmont Christian Church Deacons and Elders in Nashville. Rev. Clay Stauffer, one of my former students from TCU and now Senior Minister, has also asked me to preach on Sunday. It has been a while, but the scripture from Matthew 6:24-36 will get me through. The people at Woodmont are very kind and welcoming and it is one of the larger congregations in our denomination, The Christian Church (Disciples of Christ.) We will return on February 11th and take a treatment the next day.
Blessings to all of you, my 'battle buddies'. You are making me stronger with more sisu than I could ever have been alone. I am thankful and grateful! With love,
Will
Monday, January 26, 2015
How Softball Prepared Me For Cancer
Dear Friends,
This is an article that I wrote for Fastpitch, the national newspaper for the National Fastpitch Coaches Association. It was accepted for an upcoming issue but I thought that a lot of you might miss it. Softball has been a wonderful event for our family and as I thought about it, the game has given me some preparatory experiences that have helped me in my cancer journey. My daughter Sami, as you will read, was a 2011 NCAA National Champion at Linfield College. My niece Melissa Graham played Division 1 softball and is a high school softball coach and athletic director in Southern California. My cousin Deb Haley won state softball championships in California and was Lisa Fernandez' coach in high school. Lisa was a National Champion at UCLA, an Olympic Gold Medal winner, and currently coaches at UCLA. Sami took a lesson with Lisa in Cathedral City, CA with her pitcher Karman Holladay while in high school and Lisa said, "Who is related to Deb (then) Taylor?" Sami trembled, "Me." Lisa said, "She is really cool." Softball has given our families much joy. I wanted to give something back. Here it is!
HOW SOFTBALL PREPARED ME FOR CANCER
This is an article that I wrote for Fastpitch, the national newspaper for the National Fastpitch Coaches Association. It was accepted for an upcoming issue but I thought that a lot of you might miss it. Softball has been a wonderful event for our family and as I thought about it, the game has given me some preparatory experiences that have helped me in my cancer journey. My daughter Sami, as you will read, was a 2011 NCAA National Champion at Linfield College. My niece Melissa Graham played Division 1 softball and is a high school softball coach and athletic director in Southern California. My cousin Deb Haley won state softball championships in California and was Lisa Fernandez' coach in high school. Lisa was a National Champion at UCLA, an Olympic Gold Medal winner, and currently coaches at UCLA. Sami took a lesson with Lisa in Cathedral City, CA with her pitcher Karman Holladay while in high school and Lisa said, "Who is related to Deb (then) Taylor?" Sami trembled, "Me." Lisa said, "She is really cool." Softball has given our families much joy. I wanted to give something back. Here it is!
HOW SOFTBALL PREPARED ME FOR CANCER
by Dr. Will Keim
My life changed on July 16th, 2014 when Dr. Peter Hudson said, "You have
cancer." It is not a phrase anyone hopes to hear. In the room were my wife
Donna and three of my children, Sami, JJ, and Hannah. Soft weeping began
to be heard behind me as our family friend and doctor explained it was
advanced melanoma. As strange as this may sound, I immediately began to
think of what this would mean to my softball coaching position.
My daughter Sami was a 2011 NCAA Champion in Softball at Linfield College
in Oregon. Graduating in three years, she became an elementary school
teacher at Lincoln School and Head Softball at Corvallis High School in
Oregon. I became her Assistant Coach. It gave me an excuse to spend three
hours a day with my daughter on the dirt. Softball had been so good to her
and she wanted to give something back. She had played for Gerry Orlando of
the Oregon Panthers and then Jackson Vaughan at Linfield. She had seen in
person what great character driven coaches can do for a player's
development as a human being and a softball player. She wanted to do that
for young women at the high school level.
We were 24-24 the first two years and had our breakout season last year
going 17-9, and winning our first playoff game since Sami had played on
the team. We lost to the eventual State Champion Pendleton team and in one
week during the season, we beat the three perennial powerhouses, West
Albany, Silverton, and Dallas High Schools for the first time in school
history. We additionally had seven seniors named First Team High School
Academic All Americans by the NFCA. Two of them will play for Claremont
Mudd Scripps this for Betsy Hipple and one for Jackson Vaughan at
Linfield. With the assistance of our Principal Matt Boring and our
Athletic Director Bob Holt, we put the first fence around our field, a
scoreboard behind it, and dugouts for the softball team for the first
time in school history.
Then the cancer announcement. What would we do, Sami and I, about our
team, about the program we had taken from cellar dweller to competitive
status?
More about that later, but for now, I want to share with you from my heart
the seven ways that softball prepared me for my 'negotiation' with cancer.
I call it a negotiation rather than a fight because there is enough
fighting in the world. I am a pretty good persuader and while cancer wants
to be a large part of my life, its role in my mind needs to be much
smaller. So, what did softball teach me?
1. Do Your Best To Be Positive
When we had no fence, no scoreboard, no dugouts, no drainage system, and a
team that was used to losing badly, it was hard to stay hopeful and
positive. Yet, I watched my daughter 'coach 'em up' and my five to six
hours on our quagmire like field each day taught me patience and to keep
my eyes on the prize. Once when we had Cindy Bristow come to work with the
team on positive attitudes and softball skills, she rolled up her pant
legs, took off her shoes and began to sweep water off the tarp so we could
pull it. She told our girls, "You do more before practice in order to
practice than most teams do at practice. Stay positive and your efforts
will be rewarded." Our positive attitude was rewarded! Softball taught me
this.
2. Be Present In The Moment
Like in Softball, if you sit back and try to entertain the whole cancer
concept, it is overwhelming. There are so many things that have to happen
in order to have a game and compete. All of you coaches that have people
who prepare your field should thank God and be happy. You have to stay
focused on the matter at hand. Softball taught me to be present in each
moment, to celebrate each accomplishment, to not worry about tomorrow's
challenges today. Cancer demands your attention, and it is best to take it
one day at a time...much like it is best to take the game one pitch at a
time. One inning at a time. Softball taught me this.
3. Forget Failure Quickly
Taking a strikeout out to the field usually results in a missed defensive
opportunity. Taking an error in the field into the batter's box does not
provide any better results offensively. With cancer, you must celebrate
the rising of your hemoglobin score, a small shrinkage of the tumor, a
chemo treatment without terrible side effects...right now and right here.
Trying to take on an entire game or season all at once is futile. Cancer
does not provide much good news, but there are moments when a glimmer of
hope gets you through the night. We must forget failure quickly in order
to go on. Softball taught me this.
4. Together Everyone Accomplishes More: TEAM above Self
I sit down during my lectures now to save energy and stay focused on my
students. I ask every audience how many of them have had cancer in their
immediate families and 80% of the hands go up every time. Hundreds of
students have approached me after my speech with stories about their
families and themselves and the cancers that have challenged them. They
have offered prayers, good wishes, and great comfort to me. One student
athlete from Alabama told me, "My Dad lived 19 years after his diagnosis
Dr. Keim. Don't give up." A swimmer from CMS said, "I was diagnosed with
melanoma at 11 years old. I am 20. I have had chemo and 11 biopsies since
then. You can live with this." Dr. Matt Taylor, my oncologist at the
Oregon Health Sciences University's Knight Cancer Center said, "There are
three new treatments being approved as we speak. You have options." No one
does anything worthwhile in life or softball without the help of others.
My team consists of my family, my doctors, the researchers, the
infusionists, the nurses, and my friends and students who offer me up in
prayer in traditions including Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism,
Taoism, and Secular Humanism. Softball taught me that in order to
accomplish anything worthwhile, it takes a team committed to each other
and the cause. If I am to live as long as possible, it will be a team
effort, much in the same way that every championship and success falls on
the shoulders of many, not one.
5. It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over: Believe in Miracles
It has often been said when a team beats a superior opponent, "That's why
we play the game." Or, "Any given day." The game and the players who play
it are growing in strength and abilities each year. The thought three
years ago that our Corvallis Spartans could beat the three best teams in
our league in a one week period was unthinkable. Last year an NAIA team
beat a Division I team. In softball we believe in working hard and in
miracles. No game is over until the last out is in the book. Softball has
taught me to believe in miracles. To ask, believe, and receive. No game in
softball, or life, is over 'til it's over. I play on in hopes that in some
lab somewhere, or in the mind of one of my students, the horrible mystery
of cancer will be solved. If a cancer has a 99% morality rate, I intend on
being the 1%. A great man once said, "Never ever give up." He was a Coach
too!
6. The Dirt is Sacred and So Is Life.
One of the last sermons I preached was entitled, "The Church of Softball."
You are free to substitute Synagogue or Mosque depending on your beliefs.
I told the congregation that if churches knew how much ministry took place
on the dirt they would all sponsor teams and leagues. The Roman Catholics
have known about this in sports and youth for years. Softball taught me
that every step onto the dirt is sacred because I might witness a miracle
today. A hit, an insight, a pitch, a dive, or some effort that defied
explanation and was outside the norm. Life is sacred, and I wish all
coaches and players would think big picture and not let an error,
strikeout, or loss define even that day. Softball is the vehicle that
drives us into deeper understandings of ourselves and our need for others.
Cancer has reinforced what I learned from softball: Today is a new day,
this is a new at bat, and I am blessed to get another chance. We must
treat the game, and life, as a sacred experience ripe with possibilities
to grow, develop, and achieve. Neither the game, the season, or life will
go on forever. Carpe Diem...seize the day!
7. Encourage each player/person to give what they can and accept that gift.
I have developed special relationships with some of the teams I have
worked with over the years. Patrick Murphy's Alabama team presented me
with a get well card last Spring when I was on campus that contained some
of the most profound thoughts on healing and being positive that I have
ever read. Each young woman shook my hand and offered their care and
prayers. It was very touching. My high school team emailed and visited
with their thanks for playing for Sami and I and their good wishes for my
journey. Jackson Vaughan's Linfield team sent a card with statements of
love and care. I received an Easton bat at the end of the season last year
from the Texas Longhorns signed with well wishes from the players and
coaches. Coach Clark and Coach Hill told me to make sure to read the
inscription the girls had chosen:
"A little something to envision beating the hell outta cancer."
It now resides in my study placed on the wall next to my 1970 Colt League
World Champions bat.
Softball taught me that everyone brings something unique to the game. The
key to good coaching is to find out what that is and set up a set of
circumstances in which the player can give what she has to give for the
betterment of the team. The exciting thing I think about coaching is to
help players expand their own understanding and belief in what they can
bring to the team to make it better. I have spent my life trying to give.
I would rather be the visitor in the hospital than the one being visited.
But this is my time to receive. To allow each of my friends and students
to give what they can to my recovery. Softball taught me that. The joy is
in giving, and no one gets to give without someone else being willing to
receive.
Like a good softball game, I do not know how my story will end. But I do
know that my life has been so greatly and positively impacted by softball
and the people who coach it and play it. When my daughter Sami and I went
in to resign due to my illness and my daughter's master's program, our
Principal Matt Boring said, "I do not accept your resignation. I am giving
you a one year sabbatical to finish the MA and get well." That's what he
had to give and it gave me hope. And the most amazing gift of hope I have
received so far? Sami, who has been named Coach of The Year in our
Conference two of the three years she has coached, knew I would miss my
time with her and being on the dirt. Her Christmas present to me was two
tickets to the 2015 College Women's World Series in Oklahoma City! I've
always wanted to go but we have been coaching. I know it will be emotional
because the one time I was there to watch Sami and the Oregon Panthers
play in the Nationals, I watched Sam take the Championship field and wept
like a baby. For all of you players who might be reading this...she was
never the best player on any team she played on. She just worked the
hardest and maximized the gifts God had given her. She was a Champion long
before the NCAA made it official!
If you see us in OKC, please say hello. Sami will be looking like a coach
and walking confidently knowing she has always given every team she has
played on or coached her very best, and I'll be the 6'5" guy with misty
eyes hoping I will live long enough to give back to the game one half of
what it has given me. I might just bring my yellow 'beat the hell out of
cancer' Easton bat to remind me, and you, of what an amazing family...the
softball family...we belong to. We are blessed by our association with the
game and should manifest gratitude for each day that we get to play on the
dirt.
Will Keim, Ph.D.
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