"The Thing About Faith Is That You Have To Have It Before You Need It." Geoffrey Canada

Dear Friends,

I have had the good fortune to meet some amazing people during my career on the road as an inspirational speaker and educator. One of those people is Geoffrey Canada. He is an American Educator and Social Activist, and the Founder of the Harlem Children's Zone in New York City.
We shared the podium for the Rockwall Independent School District in Texas one Summer speaking to administrators and teachers from the District.

After describing his school to the audience, his journey, and how the school had reclaimed one hundred square blocks of Harlem, he was asked, "What is your secret?" His students graduate, go onto to college, and families, and the culture, are changed. His response? "Faith. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it." It was profound. He was humble, grateful, and thankful to have had the opportunity the raise the bar for generations of students and their families.

I had my first official OHSU PET Scan February 26th and sat with Donna in the office of Dr. Matt Taylor on March 2nd to look at the results. The night before I had slept in 15 minutes increments, up and down, nervous, desperate, and fully aware of the Dark Voice whispering, "What if..." Finally it was 5 a.m. and time to head to Portland for the appointment. I tried to remind myself of the tribe in Sierra Leone praying for me at their Mosque. The Cloistered Nuns in Idaho that my relatives the Taylors and allied families had praying for me. The prayers of my sons's Jewish girlfriend Grace and her family. The Baptists in Texas. My 'Battle Buddies' on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. My own Church in Corvallis and Rev. Clay Stauffer's Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee.
Father Silva in California, The Texas Softball Team in Austin, Alabama's Gymnastics and Softball teams in Tuscaloosa. All that...and the Dark Voice was still audible and troubling to me.

Doctor Taylor said, "You've seen this?", referring to the Scan results. I said "No." He said, "Well..."
The pause was probably under three seconds, but in that time I heard his words from the night before's lack of sleep, "I have some bad news for you." I heard that one at 3:30 a.m. It wasn't Dr. Taylor, but you know I am creative and can create a whole bunch of chatter not based in anything other than fear. Doc said, "Well...this is outstanding! I am so pleased. That one (tumor) is gone, that one is gone, that one is shrinking, that one is shrinking, that one is not growing(...he continued) There is absolutely no sign of new cancer sites or tumors." I tried to say thank you to him but I could not speak. I finally said, voice shaking, "I was so apprehensive Doc. Thank you!" I was overcome with relief, thankfulness, gratitude, and a host of emotions caused in part by the seriousness of the situation, and the lack of sleep and abundance of worry from the night before.

When I finally gathered myself, I asked, "What can I tell my friends? They will ask." Doctor Taylor told me to tell you the results were excellent. My drug, Keytruda, was working very well, and that about 40% of the tumors were gone! A little over a third were shrinking, and a little under a third were the same size but not growing and were stable. Emboldened by the good news through my fear, I said, "How long might I have Doc? 2 years? 5 years? More?" He said, "We just don't know. These drugs are so new. This drug is working for you. The first drug you took kept someone alive for 10 years. That drug has only been out ten years, so we just don't know yet for the Immunotherapy Chemotherapies." I said, "Perhaps I should try to live this one day at a time and be thankful for each day." He said, "I like that. I think it is a good plan." Dr. Taylor is a rock star!

Here is the teaching point to me, and perhaps to you as well. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it. I have it and I need it! Or do I? How is it that a man like me who has been blessed to have great friends, meaningful work, have married a phenomenal woman, be the Father of four amazing children, be a grandfather, and have talked about, married, buried, and baptized people in the name of God.....how is it that that man, me, can be up all night worrying and not trusting, that God will comfort me. Be with me. Refuse to let me walk this journey alone. Jesus said, "Ask, and you will hear; seek, and you will find; knock on the door and it shall be opened for you." Less than two week ago I stood in from of my brothers and sisters in Christ at the Woodmont Christian Church and preached on the advice Jesus gave in the Gospel of Matthew, "Which of you by worrying can add a single minute to your life? Do not worry about tomorrow, each day has enough trouble of its own." I often tell students to ask, believe, and receive. My favorite hymn, "God Will Take Care of You." says:

Be not dismayed whate'er betide,
God will take care of you;
Beneath His wings of love abide,
God will take care of you.

Refrain:
God will take care of you,
Through every day, o'er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.

Through days of toil when heart doth fail,
God will take care of you;
When dangers fierce your path assail,
God will take care of you.

All you may need He will provide,
God will take care of you;
Nothing you ask will be denied,
God will take care of you.

No matter what may be the test,
God will take care of you;
Lean, weary one, upon His breast,
God will take care of you.

(Music by W. Stillman Martin, Lyrics by Civilla D. Martin. Aretha Franklin sang this perhaps as well as anyone ever has!)

So, why my doubt? Why my fear? It came to me this morning in a conversation with my friend Tim. I said to him, "I am embarrassed by my fear and doubt. I need to just surrender to my faith." I think that's it for me. How about you? Most of us believe in something larger than ourselves. Why am I reciting the Lord's Prayer 72 times in a row flying in a small plane with Christa over the Cascades? Can God have made it any more clear for me than it is? My biological Father Will S. Keim, Jr. dies before I am born, and my Step Father Jack R. Wilhelm raises me as if I was his own. God places Father Silva in my life at college, and Don Duns, and my life is redirected from self defeating behavior into a life, as Nouwen says, of a 'Wounded Healer.' My family never gives up on me even when I am pondering giving up on myself. My fraternity provides me with brothers I never had but needed. Softball empowers me to find the joy of coaching. Can God make it anymore clear to me...Trust. Have Faith. Believe. It Will Be Alright. I Am Here For You.

So I surrender to the fact that even with all of my character defects, you will still be my friends. I give up the negativity and doubt that the Dark Voice wants me to focus on. I quit my job as endless questioner and 'what if' specialist. Each year I cry, and now I know why, when Bill Murray, in the movie Scrooged, says, "It's a Miracle. And you can have the Miracle. And once you have it, you're going to want it again. And you're going to want everyone to have it. And you can be someone's Miracle." We may believe different things and in different ways, but I believe in you. And I believe in me. And I believe, as Dr. Marcus Borg said, that the God who buoys up in life will buoy us up in death. That's all I have got for you today, save this...

"Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow." Surrender to the Faith you have always had within you and stop fighting it. Open your eyes and see. Open your ears and hear. Open your heart and feel the love of God that has always been there for you. It's a miracle!

Blessings and Love,

Will