Dear Friends,
I was blessed to be invited to participate in the Claremont College's Relay For Life event on March 28th. This invitation came about as a result of speaking to the Claremont Mudd Scripts Student Athletes on January 19th. Softball Coach Betsy Hipple invited me down in January to speak to the Spring Sport Student Athletes and the event went well. The student athletes were extremely bright, caring, and attentive. The Village at Claremont is one of the most spectacular college towns in America. I grew up one exit down the San Bernardino Freeway in Pomona.
Becky Gold, one of the student athletes, invited me to come back in March to keynote the kickoff event before the relay began. It was to be my first cancer-specific speech. It was a very warm day and the event committee had organized 400 participants from 40 teams to walk for 24 hours to raise over $30,000 to fight cancer. It was so inspiring to see these fine young people giving up a weekend day to stand up against cancer. They had kindly arranged a nice stool and shade for me to speak. I asked the gathered participants ranging in age from 12-70 how many of them had had cancer in their immediate families. 80% of the hands went up. One man was there honoring his father who had passed away a few years earlier. One middle school soccer team wanted to participate and were there in full youthful energy. One Claremont student was there celebrating her own remission from melanoma. Students from the five colleges made up the bulk of the participants.
I told the volunteers that cancer was a magnificent teacher and was like Phi Beta Kappa...it called you, you didn't call it. Cancer was, in my opinion, a family disease housed in one person. And finally, anyone who had had cancer and was living, currently was carrying it, or was a family member should be considered a survivor. It was easy for me to tell the students that cancer taught you to relish and appreciate each day one day at a time and that their youth would last a lot longer if they didn't spend time regretting the past or fearfully anticipating the future. I reminded them that the Bible had advised, "Do not worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Becky Gold emailed me two days later, "Your message could not have been more appropriate for the events! Your speech started off the next amazing 24 hours in the most positive way. I am so grateful that you took the time to come and speak with us. Your positivity is inspiring! You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living. I am keeping you in my prayers and thoughts."
"You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living." Please hear the wisdom of this young woman. Her words should be the mantra for every person, but in particular, for those of us who have cancer. With surgeries in the future, infusions regularly scheduled, side effects...it is so easy to feel overwhelmed. And compared to most cancer patients, I have it great.
But I do feel that what I have going for me is a positive attitude, faith, great family and friend support, an amazing doctor, and students like Becky who teach the old teacher a thing or two about life. I finished my remarks at Claremont by telling them what I tell every audience...the cure for cancer might be in your brains ready to come out, but not if you do not go to class and apply yourselves. I was thrilled that my daughter Sami and her husband Steve were with me to provide support and see the students' great spirits.
Upon arriving home I received a call from an old friend Margaret Miller Meek that our mentor and friend Barb Robel was in hospice. Barb was the Greek Advisor at Kansas State for years and had influenced thousands of students over the years. She was born on July 13, 1943 and died April 4, 2015. She was an R.A. in college and a member of Delta Zeta sorority at K State. She was proceeded in death by her beloved Raydon who ran the Recreation Center at K State. Barb is survived by her children and grandchildren. She loved and raised horses and was an active member of Sedalia Community Church. She ran national conferences and asked me to speak for her several times. We were close friends and her love of students and ability to inspire them to do great things was legendary.
I talked to her a few days before her death thanks to Margaret's call and she told me she loved me and that she was at peace because of her faith. She said she knew she did have long to live but that she looked forward to seeing Raydon again. She asked about my cancer and I told her that it looked like she would get to the other side before me, so I hoped she would be waiting on the shore when I got there. She told me I could count on it. She said she had doubts every now and then and I assured her that Jesus had doubts on more than one occasion, including the Garden of Gethsemane. I shared with her that Jesus was not afraid to die, but was apprehensive about dying. That is, the process of dying. Barb said that helped her and gave her hope. We told each other we loved each other and said goodbye. A couple of days later she was gone. She will never be forgotten.
Her life reveals two things...
You don't have to be famous to have a huge impact on a large number of people's lives. Everyone in the Greek community knows her or of her, but there will be no national holiday Saturday for her memorial service. Yet, tens of thousands of students and former students will stop in Manhattan, Kansas, or wherever they are at, pause, and thank God for Barb's influence on their lives. Her humor, love, and subtle and direct guidance changed people, including me.
Secondly, there is a difference between fearing death and fearing the process of dying. We all know we are going to die one day. Cancer patients just get an early wake up call regarding this. But I think the real apprehension is that we will be a burden on our families, leave not-so-positive memories, or suffer beyond the medicine's ability to numb the pain. I am not glad that I got cancer, but hear me...I am thankful and grateful that I received cancer's reminder that each day is precious, that I should live in the moment, and that I should tell my family and friends that I love them.
Who knows God's mind or the mysteries of life? But in the end, Coach John Wooden was right. The things that matter are family, faith, and vocation. If you know Barb or not, please take a moment at 2 p.m. Central Time Saturday to think of her, and if you just heard about her today, take that time to call a loved one, family member, or friends and tell them that you love them. Life is brief and and a blessed one ticket ride. It is not a dress rehearsal and we are working without a net. And when you think there is no good working in the world, remember the students at the Claremont Colleges raising money for a cure, people like Barb Robel, and remember that you can be part of the solution to life's many questions, quandaries, and quagmires. Someone is waiting for your help, your call, your inspiration today.
April 25th will find me, God willing, giving the keynote address at the Western Oregon University Relay For Life event. I know I will meet someone there who gives me hope, and I pray I will do the same for someone else.
Blessings,
Will
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