Dear Friends,
Greetings! I began a new and fifth chemo infusion treatment yesterday at the Oregon Health Sciences University Knight Cancer Center under the direction of Dr. Matt Taylor. That big word in the title section above is the new cancer drug I am taking. It will be infused two more times on December 31st and January 21st. The brand name for the drug is Keytruda.
I am grateful that so far the side effects have been minimal though I have been tired today but am having no pain. As those of you know who have been impacted by cancer, if you actually read all the possible nasty things that could happen to you, then no one would take the treatment. I am thankful to all the scientists, researchers, and doctors who are working on this disease. In honor of Jimmy V Week, I am working hard to remind myself to "Never Give Up." If you have never seen Coach Valvano's speech at the ESPYs 20 years ago as he was facing his own death due to cancer, then google it up and let him inspire you as he did our family this week again. We all sat together and wept tears of sadness, joy, thanks, and concern.
Your amazing kindness, grace, and generosity keep pouring into our family through texts, emails, cards, and calls. One of my former Resident Assistants at Oregon State visited and said, "I'm not buying any of your books. You've given them all to me already. My brother and my Mother and I are going to pay the twins tuition at Oregon State until they graduate." Wow! They set up an account at Oregon State and Donna can tell y'all more about that if you are interested. His wife said, "For all you have done for so many, this is a small way to say thank you." It is not small to Donna and I, nor the twins! I remain stunned because we always taught our residential life staffs that we were a family but to see it, and be the recipient of if, was humbling. Thank you!
Two nights ago the high school volleyball Coach asked to stop by and I worried all day that he wanted to talk about his marriage as I had officiated the ceremony. When he arrived, he handed me an envelope with money raised by the Corvallis High Volleyball team for our family because in their words, "Your family and you have always been there for our team." Amazing. Some big lessons cancer has taught me is that I am better at giving than receiving, better at visiting the sick than being one, and that the humility cancer has taught me would have been a lesson better learned earlier than later. I think I would have been a better person. I am learning to say, "Thank you so very much for your kindness.", and mean it with my whole being.
This Christmas will be a special and emotional one for our family as so many of you have been Santa Claus to us since we found out about my disease. We have so much to be thankful for! My big cancer insight over the pass few weeks is that cancer will always be part of my life. Even if by the power of Pembrolizumab, the skills of Dr. Taylor, and the grace of Almighty God I become free of the disease in my body, I will always think about it, those with it, and their families. I am pleased that colleges and universities continue to book me to speak because cancer has brought a depth to my thoughts and words that was missing before. I feel like now I have something to say and the courage to say it. Might I find a way and the words to convince my students, and you, how precious your life is without you having to host the disease? This is my prayer and my hope. Each of you matter more than you know. You are a thread in a mighty tapestry called life. You are connected and counted on.
As Coach Bruce Alexander addressed my son JJ and the other Band of Brothers youth football team years ago for the last time, facing his impending death due to cancer, he said with great emotion, "I finally got it boys. It is about Love. That's all the matters." He was right. And that is why it is now so easy for me to say to each of you:
I love you. I am grateful for you. And though my capacities may become diminished, I will do whatever I can for as long as I can to help you see the miracle that you are. To help you believe that you deserve to be loved and have infinite capacity to give love. Love. That's all that matters.
Will Keim
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Monday, November 17, 2014
Life, Liberty, & The Pursuit of Clarity
Dear Friends,
It has been about six weeks since I posted and I understand that this has been a) a violation of 'blog etiquette', and b) disconcerting to many of you who have texted, emailed, and called Donna and asked, "Is Will OK?". On both accounts I plead guilty and apologize for not opening my computer and letting y'all know what has been going on in my pursuit of life, liberty, and clarity. I hope you will chalk it up to being busy, traveling through 24 states, and age. I am pleased to be back with you and to update you on what has been going on in my life.
I am first grateful to share with you that I made all of my lecture stops this late Summer and Fall while having one surgery, one MRI, 2 PET Scans, 4 Doctor's appointments, and four chemo infusion treatments, the last of which was November 3rd. This includes visits to California State University San Bernardino, The Oregon School Resource Officers Association, Drury University MO, Elmhurst College IL, Iowa State University IA, The University of Redlands CA, Whitman College WA, Linfield College OR, Seattle University WA, Western Oregon University OR, Eastern Oregon University OR, Northwest College WY, Southwest Oregon Community College OR, The University of Alabama AL, and Northern Michigan University MI. I am thankful to have had the invitations and the warm receptions from the students and professionals at these institutions.
Amazing experiences during this time reinforced my core belief that at their center, the great and grand majority of people are good hearted and caring human beings. Mark Hartley and the SOAR Leaders at CSUSB made a video for me sharing what my message had meant to them and wishing and praying for me good health and recovery. They then signed me up for three more years! The President of Elmhurst College told me he and his staff would be praying for me. The Oregon School Resource Officers allowed my daughter Christa to do part of my lectures because of my fatigue at the time. She was magnificent! At Iowa State student after student and my friends Liz Kurt, Sarah Merrill, Tom Hill, and Jeff Johnson hugged me and offered not only their prayers and encouragement, but a contract for two more years as their Destination Iowa State speaker. Do you know what that means to a guy with cancer? It is called Hope! Dean Burgess and her staff at Redlands changed their schedule to accommodate my travel and invited me back for next year! One of the Redlands parents took off her religious medal and said, "I want you to have this. Mother Theresa gave it to me when I worked with her and I want you to have it." I was stunned and speechless, which in the latter case, doesn't happen very often. Dean Cleveland and Barbara Maxwell at Whitman welcomed me back for my 28th visit to campus and at one point there were four men, the Dean and I included, who were or had battled cancer sharing together. It was inspiring. VP Dan Preston at Linfield College and the new students gave me an online shout out video to get well from the Wildcats. Dr. Sparky Reardon led the Phi Delta Theta National Fraternity Leadership School in a selfie to wish me health and healing. Laurie Prince and the 'Red Shirts' (Orientation Staff) offered their prayers and hugs. At Western and Eastern Oregon Universities, I saw many students that I had known since their elementary school days and again, prayers, good thoughts, and hugs greeted me. On the way to Northwest College in Wyoming, Donna and I spent two days in Jackson Hole at the Jenny Lake Lodge where we lived almost thirty years ago and broke bread with our friends David and Kathy, and Debbie and John. A trip to Coos Bay, Oregon took me to SWOCC for the second year and reinforced my belief in the power of community colleges to give students a great start.
The last two schools I visited are freshest in my mind and merit a new paragraph. Marie Robbins, Associate Athletic Director/SWA invited me down to speak to student athletes at the University of Alabama. I have been going down to Tuscaloosa for over 20 years and was once again bowled over by the hospitality, kindness, and goodness of the students and staff at Bama. Because it is the South, student athletes speak freely of their spirituality and family lives, and hundred of students offered their prayers and stories of their own family's battles with cancer. One track athlete said to me, "Dr. Keim, my Dad died of melanoma." I said, "I'm sorry. Throw me a bone here." He said, "The reason I told you that is he lived 19 years after his diagnosis." I said, "Your Dad just helped me have hope." He said, "You will be in my prayers." A young woman shared the story of her Mother's cancer and that she was having Treatment 4 of 12 this week. We just cried together. I was able to have dinner with my dear friends David and Sarah Patterson who retired this year as Gymnastics Coaches at Alabama. They have won National Championships, 8 SEC titles, and remain deeply spiritual and humble. They have raised two great daughters and shaped several generations of student athletes. I visited the home of Dana Duckworth, new Head Coach of Gymnastics, and caught up with Bryan Raschilla, Associate Head Coach, whose two children are likely to be Division One student athletes as well. Patrick Murphy, Ally Habetz, and Stephanie VanBrakle invited me out to the magnificent softball complex and I was able to view a Fall Ball double header. I have often said that I love Oregon, but I would consider moving to Tuscaloosa just to spend more time with David Patterson and Patrick Murphy. To have achieved what they have accomplished and be rooted in humility and spirituality is amazing to me. I am blessed to call them, and the above mentioned Crimson Tide Coaches and Administrators, friends. Throw in Baumhower's Wings and Wangs, and Dreamland Ribs, and the Tide be Rollin'! The cherry on the Alabama sundae for me was a letter from Head Football Coach Nick Saban thanking me for my work with students and wishing me health and his very best. He is a little busy as you know but took time to send a personal letter. I framed it for my study!
For 25 years, I have been going to Northern Michigan University to be their Leader in Residence for the Student Leader Fellowship Program. I went back this year late in October and stayed with the now retired Dave and Sandy Bonsall. I finally got them to come visit Oregon this Fall and they brought 11 Yoopers with them. The Upper Peninsula (UP, ergo Yoopers) breeds a friendship and family based on being hardy in the face of the most severe weather nature can muster and Lake Superior can reinforce. If you know one Yooper, then their friends are your friends, and it was with great happiness that we greeted the Superior 13 to our home for dinners, wine tasting, and a trip to the Oregon Coast. John and Pat made Pasties for 30 from scratch, and we met great, great people. At one point, Dave's former roommate Paul, surveying our walls, said, "Softball is important to you." I said, "Yes, my daughter Sami and I coach together and she is a National Champion." He said, "My cousin coaches softball." I said, "Where?" Paul said, "Alabama." I asked, "Is your cousin Patrick Murphy?" He said, "Have you heard of him?" :):):) Small world. When I returned to NMU at the invitation of my friends Jon Barch and Rachel Harris, The Superior 13 had a wine and cheese party for me at the home of Jack and Stormin' Norma overlooking Lake Superior and then dinner at the Casa Calabria for steaks and shells. A trip to Jon's cabin on a beautiful lake in the woods and ribs with Dave out in the middle of nowhere made the trip very special. Sandy's Mother Grandma Viv came up from Menominee and at 90 years old is rocking the casbah. She takes no prisoners and made me stay up to watch Letterman with her. I want to thank the Superior 13 for their hospitality and for buying a copy of Welcome To The Time Of Your Life for each of the 65 Student Leader Fellows. It was very generous of them. The trip was made perfect by a coffee and muffins date at Baby Cakes with retired Professor John Argeropoulos who is a vital engaging man who helped me write Welcome and whose Granddaughter is now a Student Leader Fellow.
In between Alabama and Northern Michigan I surprised Donna, her Mom Mary, and her sisters Regina and Patty in Florida on Saint George Island in the middle of their 7800 mile trip to see relatives and friends across America. Dubbed "Giggles Across America" by Grandma Mary, we stayed with Aunt Ruth and Cousins Ernie and Ruth on the Island. Ernie took us out into the gulf for some fishing and we saw sea turtles and dolphins. We ate a bunch of oysters and fish in Apalachicola
and had some great family time. Aunt Ruth offered a dinner prayer that was so eloquent and touching, telling God that cancer had taught me many lessons with which I could help students in my speeches, and that I had learned them, but now it was time for Him to heal me. It was powerful and heartfelt and she is a beautiful lady and a gracious host.
So there you have it...the story of my life, liberty, and pursuit of clarity. This week I will sit down with my oncologist in Portland, Dr. Matt Taylor, who will go over the PET scan with me and assess the progress of my treatment and dis-ease. I ask for your prayers. I attended Mass last Friday with my friend Tim and he and Father Robert Silva continue to enlist the Catholic Community in prayer for me. After my Doctor's appointments this week, Donna, our Granddaughter Addie, and I will head down to Templeton, California to Ed and Mary Konopa's home to participate and be witness to a Celebration of Life for Steve Konopa, Ed's brother, who died of cancer last month. It will be challenging for me because I knew and admired Steve, so I decided to take my wonderful three year old font of happiness, Addie with us.
One last request, for now...tomorrow I will be meeting with the Resident Assistants at Linfield College in McMinnville, Oregon to try to help them make sense of the death of Parker Moore, a football player and RA who was stabbed to death Saturday evening. He was on rounds and went across the street from campus to grab a sandwich and was attacked by a deranged stranger. The attacker returned to the scene as the paramedics were attempting to save him, was identified by witnesses, and confronted by police. Brandishing his knife again, the attacker was shot to death.
Please pray for Parker, his parents, and his friends who are grieving and suffering their son's and friend's death. The football team is reeling as well. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.
My mission for the remainder of my life came to me mid-speech at Alabama to the track and field teams. When I heard it in my head, I stopped, and immediately shared it with them. Now you. My vocation at this time, as I understand it, is to teach the lessons cancer has taught me without any else having to get the dis-ease, or be faced with a tragedy like Parker's, and know right now right here how precious each of them is and how precious each second of their lives are. We all take our lives for granted and worry about the silliest things. For me, cancer was like a hand that came into the cage of comfortableness I was living in, grabbed the treadmill I was on, stopped it, and said, "Hey. Pay attention." I want the students to be able to get this in their twenties and create lives based on being in the moment each and every day. When I ask audiences, "How many of you have had cancer in your family?", over 85% of the hands go up. We are in this together. Most of us have been touched.
I plan to use the speech gifts God has given me to inspire, comfort, and give hope to people that they can change from regretting the past, being fearful of the future, and move forcefully and wholly into the present moment. Right now, right here.
Thank you for reading this. I will more briefly let you know this week what the PET scan and Dr. Taylor tell me, and how the Linfield presentation went with the RAs. We are all one phone call away from our knees, and yet we all have so much to be thankful for. Again, I am thankful for all the love you have shown me. In my next blog, I will tell you about the efforts a group of former Resident Assistants have put forth to help Donna and I and the family. It just might restore your faith in people!
Blessings,
Will Keim
It has been about six weeks since I posted and I understand that this has been a) a violation of 'blog etiquette', and b) disconcerting to many of you who have texted, emailed, and called Donna and asked, "Is Will OK?". On both accounts I plead guilty and apologize for not opening my computer and letting y'all know what has been going on in my pursuit of life, liberty, and clarity. I hope you will chalk it up to being busy, traveling through 24 states, and age. I am pleased to be back with you and to update you on what has been going on in my life.
I am first grateful to share with you that I made all of my lecture stops this late Summer and Fall while having one surgery, one MRI, 2 PET Scans, 4 Doctor's appointments, and four chemo infusion treatments, the last of which was November 3rd. This includes visits to California State University San Bernardino, The Oregon School Resource Officers Association, Drury University MO, Elmhurst College IL, Iowa State University IA, The University of Redlands CA, Whitman College WA, Linfield College OR, Seattle University WA, Western Oregon University OR, Eastern Oregon University OR, Northwest College WY, Southwest Oregon Community College OR, The University of Alabama AL, and Northern Michigan University MI. I am thankful to have had the invitations and the warm receptions from the students and professionals at these institutions.
Amazing experiences during this time reinforced my core belief that at their center, the great and grand majority of people are good hearted and caring human beings. Mark Hartley and the SOAR Leaders at CSUSB made a video for me sharing what my message had meant to them and wishing and praying for me good health and recovery. They then signed me up for three more years! The President of Elmhurst College told me he and his staff would be praying for me. The Oregon School Resource Officers allowed my daughter Christa to do part of my lectures because of my fatigue at the time. She was magnificent! At Iowa State student after student and my friends Liz Kurt, Sarah Merrill, Tom Hill, and Jeff Johnson hugged me and offered not only their prayers and encouragement, but a contract for two more years as their Destination Iowa State speaker. Do you know what that means to a guy with cancer? It is called Hope! Dean Burgess and her staff at Redlands changed their schedule to accommodate my travel and invited me back for next year! One of the Redlands parents took off her religious medal and said, "I want you to have this. Mother Theresa gave it to me when I worked with her and I want you to have it." I was stunned and speechless, which in the latter case, doesn't happen very often. Dean Cleveland and Barbara Maxwell at Whitman welcomed me back for my 28th visit to campus and at one point there were four men, the Dean and I included, who were or had battled cancer sharing together. It was inspiring. VP Dan Preston at Linfield College and the new students gave me an online shout out video to get well from the Wildcats. Dr. Sparky Reardon led the Phi Delta Theta National Fraternity Leadership School in a selfie to wish me health and healing. Laurie Prince and the 'Red Shirts' (Orientation Staff) offered their prayers and hugs. At Western and Eastern Oregon Universities, I saw many students that I had known since their elementary school days and again, prayers, good thoughts, and hugs greeted me. On the way to Northwest College in Wyoming, Donna and I spent two days in Jackson Hole at the Jenny Lake Lodge where we lived almost thirty years ago and broke bread with our friends David and Kathy, and Debbie and John. A trip to Coos Bay, Oregon took me to SWOCC for the second year and reinforced my belief in the power of community colleges to give students a great start.
The last two schools I visited are freshest in my mind and merit a new paragraph. Marie Robbins, Associate Athletic Director/SWA invited me down to speak to student athletes at the University of Alabama. I have been going down to Tuscaloosa for over 20 years and was once again bowled over by the hospitality, kindness, and goodness of the students and staff at Bama. Because it is the South, student athletes speak freely of their spirituality and family lives, and hundred of students offered their prayers and stories of their own family's battles with cancer. One track athlete said to me, "Dr. Keim, my Dad died of melanoma." I said, "I'm sorry. Throw me a bone here." He said, "The reason I told you that is he lived 19 years after his diagnosis." I said, "Your Dad just helped me have hope." He said, "You will be in my prayers." A young woman shared the story of her Mother's cancer and that she was having Treatment 4 of 12 this week. We just cried together. I was able to have dinner with my dear friends David and Sarah Patterson who retired this year as Gymnastics Coaches at Alabama. They have won National Championships, 8 SEC titles, and remain deeply spiritual and humble. They have raised two great daughters and shaped several generations of student athletes. I visited the home of Dana Duckworth, new Head Coach of Gymnastics, and caught up with Bryan Raschilla, Associate Head Coach, whose two children are likely to be Division One student athletes as well. Patrick Murphy, Ally Habetz, and Stephanie VanBrakle invited me out to the magnificent softball complex and I was able to view a Fall Ball double header. I have often said that I love Oregon, but I would consider moving to Tuscaloosa just to spend more time with David Patterson and Patrick Murphy. To have achieved what they have accomplished and be rooted in humility and spirituality is amazing to me. I am blessed to call them, and the above mentioned Crimson Tide Coaches and Administrators, friends. Throw in Baumhower's Wings and Wangs, and Dreamland Ribs, and the Tide be Rollin'! The cherry on the Alabama sundae for me was a letter from Head Football Coach Nick Saban thanking me for my work with students and wishing me health and his very best. He is a little busy as you know but took time to send a personal letter. I framed it for my study!
For 25 years, I have been going to Northern Michigan University to be their Leader in Residence for the Student Leader Fellowship Program. I went back this year late in October and stayed with the now retired Dave and Sandy Bonsall. I finally got them to come visit Oregon this Fall and they brought 11 Yoopers with them. The Upper Peninsula (UP, ergo Yoopers) breeds a friendship and family based on being hardy in the face of the most severe weather nature can muster and Lake Superior can reinforce. If you know one Yooper, then their friends are your friends, and it was with great happiness that we greeted the Superior 13 to our home for dinners, wine tasting, and a trip to the Oregon Coast. John and Pat made Pasties for 30 from scratch, and we met great, great people. At one point, Dave's former roommate Paul, surveying our walls, said, "Softball is important to you." I said, "Yes, my daughter Sami and I coach together and she is a National Champion." He said, "My cousin coaches softball." I said, "Where?" Paul said, "Alabama." I asked, "Is your cousin Patrick Murphy?" He said, "Have you heard of him?" :):):) Small world. When I returned to NMU at the invitation of my friends Jon Barch and Rachel Harris, The Superior 13 had a wine and cheese party for me at the home of Jack and Stormin' Norma overlooking Lake Superior and then dinner at the Casa Calabria for steaks and shells. A trip to Jon's cabin on a beautiful lake in the woods and ribs with Dave out in the middle of nowhere made the trip very special. Sandy's Mother Grandma Viv came up from Menominee and at 90 years old is rocking the casbah. She takes no prisoners and made me stay up to watch Letterman with her. I want to thank the Superior 13 for their hospitality and for buying a copy of Welcome To The Time Of Your Life for each of the 65 Student Leader Fellows. It was very generous of them. The trip was made perfect by a coffee and muffins date at Baby Cakes with retired Professor John Argeropoulos who is a vital engaging man who helped me write Welcome and whose Granddaughter is now a Student Leader Fellow.
In between Alabama and Northern Michigan I surprised Donna, her Mom Mary, and her sisters Regina and Patty in Florida on Saint George Island in the middle of their 7800 mile trip to see relatives and friends across America. Dubbed "Giggles Across America" by Grandma Mary, we stayed with Aunt Ruth and Cousins Ernie and Ruth on the Island. Ernie took us out into the gulf for some fishing and we saw sea turtles and dolphins. We ate a bunch of oysters and fish in Apalachicola
and had some great family time. Aunt Ruth offered a dinner prayer that was so eloquent and touching, telling God that cancer had taught me many lessons with which I could help students in my speeches, and that I had learned them, but now it was time for Him to heal me. It was powerful and heartfelt and she is a beautiful lady and a gracious host.
So there you have it...the story of my life, liberty, and pursuit of clarity. This week I will sit down with my oncologist in Portland, Dr. Matt Taylor, who will go over the PET scan with me and assess the progress of my treatment and dis-ease. I ask for your prayers. I attended Mass last Friday with my friend Tim and he and Father Robert Silva continue to enlist the Catholic Community in prayer for me. After my Doctor's appointments this week, Donna, our Granddaughter Addie, and I will head down to Templeton, California to Ed and Mary Konopa's home to participate and be witness to a Celebration of Life for Steve Konopa, Ed's brother, who died of cancer last month. It will be challenging for me because I knew and admired Steve, so I decided to take my wonderful three year old font of happiness, Addie with us.
One last request, for now...tomorrow I will be meeting with the Resident Assistants at Linfield College in McMinnville, Oregon to try to help them make sense of the death of Parker Moore, a football player and RA who was stabbed to death Saturday evening. He was on rounds and went across the street from campus to grab a sandwich and was attacked by a deranged stranger. The attacker returned to the scene as the paramedics were attempting to save him, was identified by witnesses, and confronted by police. Brandishing his knife again, the attacker was shot to death.
Please pray for Parker, his parents, and his friends who are grieving and suffering their son's and friend's death. The football team is reeling as well. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.
My mission for the remainder of my life came to me mid-speech at Alabama to the track and field teams. When I heard it in my head, I stopped, and immediately shared it with them. Now you. My vocation at this time, as I understand it, is to teach the lessons cancer has taught me without any else having to get the dis-ease, or be faced with a tragedy like Parker's, and know right now right here how precious each of them is and how precious each second of their lives are. We all take our lives for granted and worry about the silliest things. For me, cancer was like a hand that came into the cage of comfortableness I was living in, grabbed the treadmill I was on, stopped it, and said, "Hey. Pay attention." I want the students to be able to get this in their twenties and create lives based on being in the moment each and every day. When I ask audiences, "How many of you have had cancer in your family?", over 85% of the hands go up. We are in this together. Most of us have been touched.
I plan to use the speech gifts God has given me to inspire, comfort, and give hope to people that they can change from regretting the past, being fearful of the future, and move forcefully and wholly into the present moment. Right now, right here.
Thank you for reading this. I will more briefly let you know this week what the PET scan and Dr. Taylor tell me, and how the Linfield presentation went with the RAs. We are all one phone call away from our knees, and yet we all have so much to be thankful for. Again, I am thankful for all the love you have shown me. In my next blog, I will tell you about the efforts a group of former Resident Assistants have put forth to help Donna and I and the family. It just might restore your faith in people!
Blessings,
Will Keim
Saturday, October 4, 2014
"The Unexpected Gift: I Will Life Up Mine Eyes Unto The Hills...
Greetings from Grand Teton National Park in Davey Jackson's Hole, Wyoming. Donna and I are on my next-to-last Fall lecture trip to Northwest College in Powell, Wyoming and back to Southwest Oregon Community College. The route allows us the privilege to visit one of the world's most amazing places. We served 18 months here in the early '80's with A Christian Ministry In The National Parks and every trip seems like the first time we saw the Tetons, the Valley, and the majesty of God's creation. Breathtaking!
The trip began with a stay in Boise with Ken and Nancy Elwer at their daughter Katie's home. Ken and Nancy are moving from Philomath near us to Eagle, Idaho to be near Katie and Ken's brother Steve and his family. We visited the future homesite and had breakfast before we left with John McGuire who is working in Student Affairs at Boise State. John in an OSU Grad. We then detoured to Hagerman, Idaho to see Rudy Shokal, a family friend, on his 20 acres in the beautiful valley where the Malad River runs into the Snake River. So beautiful!
When we crested the Teton Pass into Jackson Hole at 10,000 feet with the mountains hovering another 3,700 feet plus over our heads, Donna said, "Where did the last thirty years go?" We were so full of hope, and other things as well! We came here because I wanted to see if I could stand in front of people and talk about God with any integrity and grace. Standing at 6,000 feet at the base of 13,700 foot mountains provides some mighty fine inspiration. One sermon I actually pointed at the Grand Teton being bathed in a golden ray of sunlight, paused, and said "Amen." That was the entire sermon! Our congregations included Wyoming cowboys, seasonal employees, the Secretary of The Interior, and locals who came because they could not believe anyone would let me be a minister.
I used to tell them that God chooses ministers because He wants to watch them extra close. The locals called me "Sky Pilot."
We stopped at David Carpenter's home on the Teton Village Road before tackling the unpaved Moose Road to Jenny Lake to have a beverage of choice. David was part of the Christian Ministry support team when we served here and we have remained friends for 30 years. His brother Craig came by to say hello and was usually part of our extensive hiking adventures here. The Carpenter family was very good to us while we in the Tetons. David lives at the end of the Teewinot Road and his family room windows frame the Grand Teton Range. It doesn't get much better. He is retired now from teaching.
We are staying at the Jenny Lake Lodge in a cabin looking directly up at the Grand. After breakfast this morning, I asked David to take Donna hiking because as you all know, you want to keep her burning energy or she will self generate projects for herself and us. The bolted at 9 a.m. straight up into the mountains where they will inevitably see moose, migrating elk, and perhaps a bear or two. Do not feel sorry for me...I couldn't keep up with them when I was young and totally healthy so I am at the lodge reading, typing, and looking at the snow capped mountains that are preparing themselves for Winter, which at 28 degrees here last night, is just around Fall's corner.
We will journey tomorrow through Yellowstone National Park dodging the 10,000 migrating elk that winter in the valley as we did last night driving in. Amazing animals who winter and begin the courting rituals for the Spring with their nightly bugeling. My lecture is Monday night in Powell, then Tuesday we begin the journey for home with a stop at our family Jack and Donna Taylor's home in Coeur D'Alene. Donna looks more like my Mom Bettye every year.
My friend David Patterson, former Assistant Gymnastics Coach at The University of Alabama sent me a beautiful quote I wanted to share with you today. David is a cancer survivor who is a great person, coach, husband, and father. David and I have shared some times and said some things to each other that men just don't share enough. Cancer it seems pulls back the veils on our eyes and hearts and opens deep channels of communication. The quote David shared is from Ruth McGinnis, a Nashville recording artist and author who when she wrote this had recently been diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
"One of the most powerful insights I've had as a result of this unexpected detour in my well-planned life is truly understanding the the value of my work-the books I've written, my instrumental recordings, the speaking and performing I've done for countless years-has nothing to do with commercial success. I always thought that to be 'successful,' I would have to register in the marketplace with some measurable impact, like making the New York Times best sellers list. As a result, even though I've enjoyed a rewarding career as a creative person, I've always felt that somehow I'd never quite arrived-that my life was incomplete. Having cancer has forever changed this. The cards, letters, gifts, phone calls, and emails I've received from people I know-and many I've never met-have revealed to me that the reach of my work and the value of my simply being here is greater than I ever could have imaged. I am convinced this is true for each one of us. That we all tend to be hard on ourselves and measure our achievements against harsh standards. We fail to appreciate our own contributions, and we forget to acknowledge the gifts, beauty and efforts of others. I will never think of success, fulfillment and contentment the way I used to. Cancer has swept the veil away from my eyes-has given me a new way of looking at life and rethinking everything. It is an unexpected gift."
David Patterson continued, "I want you to use that vivid imagination of yours, and just for a moment, imagine all the people you have helped over the years gathered in one place. The school auditorium in the movie Mr. Holland's Opus wouldn't come close to holding the people you have affected. Maybe, and I mean this sincerely, only maybe could Alabama's Bryant Denny Stadium's capacity of 101,821 come close to holding all the people whose lives are better today because of Will Keim. Thank you, and know that I love you."
Can you imagine what this means to me? Today, sitting in the place where I first stood and spoke openly about God, and Christ, and love, and forgiveness...pondering a hopeful yet unsure future, my heart soars with joy because my life seems to have mattered. I have unpaid taxes and bills, I am not on the New York Times best selling list, yet cancer has swept the veil away from my eyes-has given me, as Ruth McGinnis eloquently wrote-"a new way of looking at life and rethinking everything.
It is an unexpected gift." Tracy Maxwell knows this. David Patterson knows this. I have been taught this. It is possible that our experience might teach those of you that are cancer free this lesson without having to get the disease?
You matter. Your life matters. Each day presents opportunities to appreciate your own contributions and to acknowledge the gifts, beauty and efforts of others. To say I love you. To say I forgive you. To start anew. To be the person you have always to be. I know I was just cruising along taking it all for granted. Now each breath, each meal, each sunrise seems to be the most amazing experience ever. And I want that for all of you without the cancer. I want you to be the friend to someone that David Patterson has been to me. All of you for that matter have given me gifts I never earned. That is the amazing thing about Grace. Now I can see it clearly. Will you join me?
In my cabin at Jenny Lake today, The Grand Teton standing guard over me, the air crisp and clean, I open the Gideon's Bible in my room to the 121st Psalm:
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
He will not suffer thy foot to be moved; he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is thy keeper; the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.
The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
Each minute I have been and will be given...each of you...each life experience...each child Donna and I have been blessed with...the writings of others...my own thoughts...each act of kindness received and given...the mountains, lakes, streams, and trees...my Addie and Harvey...our home...our troubles, trials, and travails, and yes...even cancer...have been 'unexpected gifts,' Please, and I say this from the deepest depths of my soul, lift up your eyes and see your blessings and gifts today, tomorrow, and each day after that. Step out of the mundane daily grind and into the extraordinary human being that You are. You can, without cancer I believe, remove the veils from your eyes and see the unique and precious journey upon which you are embarked. You do not walk alone!
This is my hope for you and me today.
Blessings and love,
Will
Sunday, September 28, 2014
The Third Treatment
Dear Friends,
Greetings! It is a beautiful Fall day in Corvallis, Oregon. Fall Festival is in full operation at Central Park and the temperature is 80 degrees. We will be having a family gathering this evening with all the children, grandchildren, sons-in-law, and Grandma present for a Sunday ham dinner. Old School! I'm feeling pretty darn blessed today my friends!
I received my third chemo infusion on Friday September 26th at 1 p.m. I was apprehensive because treatment number two knocked me down for a few days. By the grace of God, I am feeling good today and have since Friday. This allowed me to speak at Becky McDonnough's mother Charlene's Celebration of Life yesterday. I was worried I would be out of action. It was a beautiful tribute at the Good Samaritan Church. Mike and Becky's daughter Laney gave a beautiful spoken tribute to her Grandmother.
We are beginning to get our house in order through an amazing effort by Donna. The house now breaks down like this...college students on the second floor, those of us older people on the first floor, and Sami and Steve in the basement with my granddog Gus. There are eight of us enjoying each other's company and Christa recently said, "Hey...that's not fair. Every morning is like Christmas morning." It feels an awful lot like family which is great with, and for, me! Speaking of Donna, she and her tennis partner won the City Championship in 8.0 USTA tennis this weekend. The woman can do it all.
Last weekend our good friends John McGuire and John Spaulding came to visit and Scott Spiegelberg of the OSU Football program got us great seats to watch the Beavs play San Diego State.
We have been friends for over 20 years and we had a nice time at Reser Stadium. I actually walked back from the Stadium which made me happy as building back my iron and energy has been a three month process after surgery and treatment. My hemoglobin score rose from 9.1 to 10.7 between treatment. That is still low, but a long way from my initial 5.6!
Donna and I will be heading to Wyoming this week for a speech at Northwest College in Powell, Wyoming. We are looking forward to seeing our dear friend David Carpenter in Jackson Hole on the way to Powell. The first night of the trip will be spent with Ken and Nancy Elwer in Boise, Idaho where they are building their new home. It is nice to have friends all across the nation. It always makes me feel a little closer to home.
I continue to pray to God to use the Doctors, the medicine, and the Power of the Holy Spirit to heal me and make me well. I have had so many messages of hope from all of you that I will remain in debt to your kindness for my entire life. Your cards, emails, texts, and calls have been beyond belief. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Many of your have encouraged my children as well and it has meant the world to them.
We have been blessed with over 200 books sales in the first two weeks and I would remind you, and ask you, to visit willkeim.com and check out the "Thanks A Million Dr. Will Keim!" book sale. The money is helping us with our medical and living expenses and the Keim Family is appreciative. Cancer is an unwelcome, uninvited, and expensive visitor. Though, in all honesty, I have learned a lot about myself, my friends, and life because of my melanoma. I would not wish it on anyone but it carries a reminder that life is precious, to be lived and enjoyed each and every day, and that we are all stronger together than we are apart.
Keep me in your prayers and thoughts and know that you are in mine every day as I give God thanks for all of you. Blessings!
Will Keim
Greetings! It is a beautiful Fall day in Corvallis, Oregon. Fall Festival is in full operation at Central Park and the temperature is 80 degrees. We will be having a family gathering this evening with all the children, grandchildren, sons-in-law, and Grandma present for a Sunday ham dinner. Old School! I'm feeling pretty darn blessed today my friends!
I received my third chemo infusion on Friday September 26th at 1 p.m. I was apprehensive because treatment number two knocked me down for a few days. By the grace of God, I am feeling good today and have since Friday. This allowed me to speak at Becky McDonnough's mother Charlene's Celebration of Life yesterday. I was worried I would be out of action. It was a beautiful tribute at the Good Samaritan Church. Mike and Becky's daughter Laney gave a beautiful spoken tribute to her Grandmother.
We are beginning to get our house in order through an amazing effort by Donna. The house now breaks down like this...college students on the second floor, those of us older people on the first floor, and Sami and Steve in the basement with my granddog Gus. There are eight of us enjoying each other's company and Christa recently said, "Hey...that's not fair. Every morning is like Christmas morning." It feels an awful lot like family which is great with, and for, me! Speaking of Donna, she and her tennis partner won the City Championship in 8.0 USTA tennis this weekend. The woman can do it all.
Last weekend our good friends John McGuire and John Spaulding came to visit and Scott Spiegelberg of the OSU Football program got us great seats to watch the Beavs play San Diego State.
We have been friends for over 20 years and we had a nice time at Reser Stadium. I actually walked back from the Stadium which made me happy as building back my iron and energy has been a three month process after surgery and treatment. My hemoglobin score rose from 9.1 to 10.7 between treatment. That is still low, but a long way from my initial 5.6!
Donna and I will be heading to Wyoming this week for a speech at Northwest College in Powell, Wyoming. We are looking forward to seeing our dear friend David Carpenter in Jackson Hole on the way to Powell. The first night of the trip will be spent with Ken and Nancy Elwer in Boise, Idaho where they are building their new home. It is nice to have friends all across the nation. It always makes me feel a little closer to home.
I continue to pray to God to use the Doctors, the medicine, and the Power of the Holy Spirit to heal me and make me well. I have had so many messages of hope from all of you that I will remain in debt to your kindness for my entire life. Your cards, emails, texts, and calls have been beyond belief. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Many of your have encouraged my children as well and it has meant the world to them.
We have been blessed with over 200 books sales in the first two weeks and I would remind you, and ask you, to visit willkeim.com and check out the "Thanks A Million Dr. Will Keim!" book sale. The money is helping us with our medical and living expenses and the Keim Family is appreciative. Cancer is an unwelcome, uninvited, and expensive visitor. Though, in all honesty, I have learned a lot about myself, my friends, and life because of my melanoma. I would not wish it on anyone but it carries a reminder that life is precious, to be lived and enjoyed each and every day, and that we are all stronger together than we are apart.
Keep me in your prayers and thoughts and know that you are in mine every day as I give God thanks for all of you. Blessings!
Will Keim
Monday, September 15, 2014
My Amazing Children: "Thanks A Million Dr. Will Keim!"
Dear Friends,
My friend David Coleman says, "Our children are our legacy to people we will never meet." I have always liked that statement because I think it is true. Our children will go forth to places we have not ventured and take a little bit of us with them. It is a hint of immortality. And in my situation, very comforting as well!
The four Keim children-now-adults, under the direction of the Alpha sibling Christa have launched a campaign to help Donna and me as we face some uncertainties regarding my health. Christa said, "Dad, people want to help and you need to give them the opportunity to say thanks for what you have meant and done for them." My thinking was that you are praying and hoping, sending cards, emails, and texts and surrounding me in a cocoon of friendship and love that is amazing.
Christa knows that Donna and I have worried about cancer related expenses, tuitions, student loans and the like. I have been able to keep my lecture schedule so far but the immediate future is unclear though I am hopeful. Thus the birth of "Thanks A Million Dr. Will Keim!" Christa, Sami, JJ, and Hannah know that we could use your generous help during this time. They know that while we have been humbled by this dis-ease, we still have pride and do not want charity. That is why Christa and her siblings decided to launch a book sale to help us through this time. Her theory is that if my lectures or teachings have helped you or touched your life, you could say thank you by purchasing a book or case of books to pass on my teachings to others and help us financially through this trying time in our lives.
Christa wants to sell one hundred thousand books between now and Christmas to give us the time we need to heal and be home. I asked her, "Isn't that optimistic?" She said, "Dad, we're shooting for a cure here. Let's be optimistic. Sometimes I don't think you know what you have meant to people across the country." I have always felt that I was just trying to make good on my vocation, my calling to educate, inspire, and give confidence to students. I never thought for a moment that I was paying it forward. But honestly, I do believe this is a time for me to receive your love, prayers, hope, care, concern, and if you are so inclined, your financial assistance as we face this new reality.
Below you will see two YouTube links that explain what the Keim Kids are trying to do for Donna and me. One of the videos is of the four of them being the four of them. I take some serious heat in that one! The second video is a thank you from Christa and I. When they told me what they wanted to do it brought me to tears because as I have said, the only thing about this whole deal that makes me mad is the heavy, heavy burden this is placed on the shoulders and hearts of my children when they are at a time of life that should be filled with blissful joy, hope, and thoughts of a great future. Cancer has changed us all, and not all for the worse. We are closer than we have ever been and "Thanks A Million Dr. Will Keim!" will give us time together which we cherish.
Hannah and JJ have moved home and Sami and her husband Steve moved into our basement. Some of this is due to financial concerns, but I think it is highly motivated by our desire to be together as much as possible. Your generosity will help make that happen and give us the gift of time. The YouTube
video links are:
http://youtu.be/XPzufIWBS94
http://youtu.be/DBpIytkaKXE?list=UUaB100UrDuiNUB5-1CfF8Fw
Christa, Sami, JJ, and Hannah have chosen two of their favorite books to feature and they
are:
Keys To Success In College And Life, and
The Tao of Christ: The Way Of Love For A World Of Hurt
Keys is an excellent book for anyone who has a young person in their life and for students
going to or contemplating higher education. The Tao of Christ is my favorite book and revealsthe amazing symmetry of the The Tao, an ancient Chinese teaching, and the Parables of Jesus.Written 2,500 years apart, the wisdom is life changing in both of these traditions. Both ofthese teachings are poetic and relevant today. They pave the way of love in a world of hurt.
To order, you may go directly to my website at www.willkeim.com. Books are sold individually,or in cases of 40 copies at a 10% discount. For larger orders, please contact me directlyat willkeim@willkeim.com or call 541-740-1318. There is a 25% discount on purchases of 1,000 books or more. We can complete larger orders on Square over the phone. Christa asked me to encourage you to consider buying copies for:
Your self, your friends, and your family Boys & Girls Club membersYour Church membersLocal high school studentsStudent Athletes and teamsHoliday presentsNational fraternity and sorority membershipsLocal service clubsYour alma mater's first year studentsLibraries
In the event you want to participate and do not have a specific group in mind, we will donatethe books your purchase to students and other people who might otherwise not be able to
purchase them.
Lastly, I would ask that you forward this blog and the information it contains to your
friends on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media outlets. Send the videos on as well as many folks around the country will remember the Keim Kids leaning over balconies and sleepingunder tables when they travelled with me 20 years ago. They have grown up and are a joy in myheart and life. This program is something I never would have thought of, but the reality is, it will help all of us be together and for that I am thankful.
Blessings to all of you. We will place the order for the books you choose on November
15th. I sincerely want to thank you for participating in this effort and look forward to
seeing you soon. Please continue the prayers and good thoughts as I feel them lift me up
especially during the days when things are not going so well. God's continued blessings to usall!
Will Keimwww.willkeim.com
541-740-1318
*Special thanks to John Harris at Horsepower Productions for his work on the videos and to Dennis Clevenger of CleverConcepts for his help making the ordering process easy on my website. You guys really stepped up!
My friend David Coleman says, "Our children are our legacy to people we will never meet." I have always liked that statement because I think it is true. Our children will go forth to places we have not ventured and take a little bit of us with them. It is a hint of immortality. And in my situation, very comforting as well!
The four Keim children-now-adults, under the direction of the Alpha sibling Christa have launched a campaign to help Donna and me as we face some uncertainties regarding my health. Christa said, "Dad, people want to help and you need to give them the opportunity to say thanks for what you have meant and done for them." My thinking was that you are praying and hoping, sending cards, emails, and texts and surrounding me in a cocoon of friendship and love that is amazing.
Christa knows that Donna and I have worried about cancer related expenses, tuitions, student loans and the like. I have been able to keep my lecture schedule so far but the immediate future is unclear though I am hopeful. Thus the birth of "Thanks A Million Dr. Will Keim!" Christa, Sami, JJ, and Hannah know that we could use your generous help during this time. They know that while we have been humbled by this dis-ease, we still have pride and do not want charity. That is why Christa and her siblings decided to launch a book sale to help us through this time. Her theory is that if my lectures or teachings have helped you or touched your life, you could say thank you by purchasing a book or case of books to pass on my teachings to others and help us financially through this trying time in our lives.
Christa wants to sell one hundred thousand books between now and Christmas to give us the time we need to heal and be home. I asked her, "Isn't that optimistic?" She said, "Dad, we're shooting for a cure here. Let's be optimistic. Sometimes I don't think you know what you have meant to people across the country." I have always felt that I was just trying to make good on my vocation, my calling to educate, inspire, and give confidence to students. I never thought for a moment that I was paying it forward. But honestly, I do believe this is a time for me to receive your love, prayers, hope, care, concern, and if you are so inclined, your financial assistance as we face this new reality.
Below you will see two YouTube links that explain what the Keim Kids are trying to do for Donna and me. One of the videos is of the four of them being the four of them. I take some serious heat in that one! The second video is a thank you from Christa and I. When they told me what they wanted to do it brought me to tears because as I have said, the only thing about this whole deal that makes me mad is the heavy, heavy burden this is placed on the shoulders and hearts of my children when they are at a time of life that should be filled with blissful joy, hope, and thoughts of a great future. Cancer has changed us all, and not all for the worse. We are closer than we have ever been and "Thanks A Million Dr. Will Keim!" will give us time together which we cherish.
Hannah and JJ have moved home and Sami and her husband Steve moved into our basement. Some of this is due to financial concerns, but I think it is highly motivated by our desire to be together as much as possible. Your generosity will help make that happen and give us the gift of time. The YouTube
video links are:
http://youtu.be/XPzufIWBS94
http://youtu.be/DBpIytkaKXE?list=UUaB100UrDuiNUB5-1CfF8Fw
Christa, Sami, JJ, and Hannah have chosen two of their favorite books to feature and they
are:
Keys To Success In College And Life, and
The Tao of Christ: The Way Of Love For A World Of Hurt
Keys is an excellent book for anyone who has a young person in their life and for students
going to or contemplating higher education. The Tao of Christ is my favorite book and revealsthe amazing symmetry of the The Tao, an ancient Chinese teaching, and the Parables of Jesus.Written 2,500 years apart, the wisdom is life changing in both of these traditions. Both ofthese teachings are poetic and relevant today. They pave the way of love in a world of hurt.
To order, you may go directly to my website at www.willkeim.com. Books are sold individually,or in cases of 40 copies at a 10% discount. For larger orders, please contact me directlyat willkeim@willkeim.com or call 541-740-1318. There is a 25% discount on purchases of 1,000 books or more. We can complete larger orders on Square over the phone. Christa asked me to encourage you to consider buying copies for:
Your self, your friends, and your family Boys & Girls Club membersYour Church membersLocal high school studentsStudent Athletes and teamsHoliday presentsNational fraternity and sorority membershipsLocal service clubsYour alma mater's first year studentsLibraries
In the event you want to participate and do not have a specific group in mind, we will donatethe books your purchase to students and other people who might otherwise not be able to
purchase them.
Lastly, I would ask that you forward this blog and the information it contains to your
friends on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media outlets. Send the videos on as well as many folks around the country will remember the Keim Kids leaning over balconies and sleepingunder tables when they travelled with me 20 years ago. They have grown up and are a joy in myheart and life. This program is something I never would have thought of, but the reality is, it will help all of us be together and for that I am thankful.
Blessings to all of you. We will place the order for the books you choose on November
15th. I sincerely want to thank you for participating in this effort and look forward to
seeing you soon. Please continue the prayers and good thoughts as I feel them lift me up
especially during the days when things are not going so well. God's continued blessings to usall!
Will Keimwww.willkeim.com
541-740-1318
*Special thanks to John Harris at Horsepower Productions for his work on the videos and to Dennis Clevenger of CleverConcepts for his help making the ordering process easy on my website. You guys really stepped up!
Monday, September 8, 2014
Day By Day
Dear Friends,
It has been a little while and I must confess that I was waiting to feel better as Treatment #2 on September 3rd kicked my butt for a few days. Doctors and friends had warned me that the effect can be accumulative and it appeared to be. The first treatment went off with one night of chills while the second chemo infusion caused me some pain and swelling, with little sleep at night for a few days. I began to feel much better on Sunday the 7th and today I am actually getting some things done. Thank God for NCAA and NFL football to watch while I was down though I kept thinking if I got hit that hard once it would take a logging helicopter to get me off the field.
A constant message that come through the good days and the bad days is that we should be living each precious moment, each day, day by day. "As soon as I get into school...as soon as I get out of school...as soon as I get into grad school...as soon as I get a job...as soon as I meet my life partner...as soon as we have kids...as soon as the kids get into school...as soon as the kids get out of school...as soon as I get promoted...as soon as I retire...THEN I WILL BE HAPPY!" No wonder life goes so quickly when we live the future today, lauding or remorseful about the past, we miss the only thing we can do anything about, and that it today. Throw in a little technology and social media for distraction, a couple of commercials that tell us the kind of watch we wear or the type of car we drive says a lot about who we are, and it is no wonder so many of us are lost. Wandering from one half lived "I was sort of there" experience to the next, we just miss it. And what is it? LIFE.
If there is a positive to pain, and I would not likely have said this Thursday, Friday, or Saturday, it is that it grounds you in the moment. Prayer helps me. Your texts and emails too. But a side ache just announces to you that it demands your attention. A swelling tells you, "Don't lay on this side. I'm not kidding." Therefore, when people ask how I am doing, I have taken to saying, "Today I am doing well." Or, "Today, I am not feeling so hot." Each day, one at a time. Focus. Be present. Don't take the good ones for granted, and for God's sake, don't live the bad ones in advance.
Yesterday, we had a family dinner and took a family picture. It was important to me and all the children, son in laws, and grandchildren came. Grandma and I fixed dinner and my friend John Harris and Jody took a picture of us and made a small video. It seemed to me that everything I needed to be happy was in one room for a brief moment and I thanked God for that. I believe most of what we need to be happy is around us. What makes people happy is not money, power, or prestige, but being needed by others. And we are all needed. What would I have done without my family and friends during this time? There are people in your lives who need you today. Are you listening? To paraphrase an oft used analogy; yesterday is a cancelled check. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is the only currency we really have to spend. Let's pledge to each other that we will do out best to spend it wisely.
Lastly, among the nice things that happened to me in the midst of the travails this week were a wonderful card sent by Melody Lane Virding, one of my oldest friends. We worked together at the University of The Pacific a thousand years ago. She is just one of the most wonderful people in the world. Thanks Mel. Continued joke support from Dan Ahern in California who sends me a joke a day because humor heals. We are sick men Dan! Our humor cracks us up. A confirmation from Iowa State University to have me as their Destination Iowa State Orientation speaker for the next two years. That's positive thinking and very validating! Thanks Sarah and Liz! A great email from Father Robert Silva, my spiritual mentor and friend from Stockton. His example of faith, especially in crisis, has guided thousands of us through his campus ministry. A visit from my nephew Tyler Volz and Meghan from Colorado to check up on me during their triathlon in Oregon. A book entitled Being Single With Cancer, by my friend and cancer survivor Tracy Maxwell. She has been very supportive! Thanks for your example Tracy. Check this book out. A "Get Well Will" video from the New Students at Linfield College. Thank you! Nice emails from Jim Matthews and Nancy Hunter Denney, two of my friends who share the road with me as professional speakers. Their messages change lives. Great encouragements from my friend Coach Bryan Oleman, and all of the nice emails and prayers you have sent me. I am grateful and your encouragements supported me through a rough couple of days. I am blessed to call you all friends.
Blessings to all of you, day by day!
Will
It has been a little while and I must confess that I was waiting to feel better as Treatment #2 on September 3rd kicked my butt for a few days. Doctors and friends had warned me that the effect can be accumulative and it appeared to be. The first treatment went off with one night of chills while the second chemo infusion caused me some pain and swelling, with little sleep at night for a few days. I began to feel much better on Sunday the 7th and today I am actually getting some things done. Thank God for NCAA and NFL football to watch while I was down though I kept thinking if I got hit that hard once it would take a logging helicopter to get me off the field.
A constant message that come through the good days and the bad days is that we should be living each precious moment, each day, day by day. "As soon as I get into school...as soon as I get out of school...as soon as I get into grad school...as soon as I get a job...as soon as I meet my life partner...as soon as we have kids...as soon as the kids get into school...as soon as the kids get out of school...as soon as I get promoted...as soon as I retire...THEN I WILL BE HAPPY!" No wonder life goes so quickly when we live the future today, lauding or remorseful about the past, we miss the only thing we can do anything about, and that it today. Throw in a little technology and social media for distraction, a couple of commercials that tell us the kind of watch we wear or the type of car we drive says a lot about who we are, and it is no wonder so many of us are lost. Wandering from one half lived "I was sort of there" experience to the next, we just miss it. And what is it? LIFE.
If there is a positive to pain, and I would not likely have said this Thursday, Friday, or Saturday, it is that it grounds you in the moment. Prayer helps me. Your texts and emails too. But a side ache just announces to you that it demands your attention. A swelling tells you, "Don't lay on this side. I'm not kidding." Therefore, when people ask how I am doing, I have taken to saying, "Today I am doing well." Or, "Today, I am not feeling so hot." Each day, one at a time. Focus. Be present. Don't take the good ones for granted, and for God's sake, don't live the bad ones in advance.
Yesterday, we had a family dinner and took a family picture. It was important to me and all the children, son in laws, and grandchildren came. Grandma and I fixed dinner and my friend John Harris and Jody took a picture of us and made a small video. It seemed to me that everything I needed to be happy was in one room for a brief moment and I thanked God for that. I believe most of what we need to be happy is around us. What makes people happy is not money, power, or prestige, but being needed by others. And we are all needed. What would I have done without my family and friends during this time? There are people in your lives who need you today. Are you listening? To paraphrase an oft used analogy; yesterday is a cancelled check. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is the only currency we really have to spend. Let's pledge to each other that we will do out best to spend it wisely.
Lastly, among the nice things that happened to me in the midst of the travails this week were a wonderful card sent by Melody Lane Virding, one of my oldest friends. We worked together at the University of The Pacific a thousand years ago. She is just one of the most wonderful people in the world. Thanks Mel. Continued joke support from Dan Ahern in California who sends me a joke a day because humor heals. We are sick men Dan! Our humor cracks us up. A confirmation from Iowa State University to have me as their Destination Iowa State Orientation speaker for the next two years. That's positive thinking and very validating! Thanks Sarah and Liz! A great email from Father Robert Silva, my spiritual mentor and friend from Stockton. His example of faith, especially in crisis, has guided thousands of us through his campus ministry. A visit from my nephew Tyler Volz and Meghan from Colorado to check up on me during their triathlon in Oregon. A book entitled Being Single With Cancer, by my friend and cancer survivor Tracy Maxwell. She has been very supportive! Thanks for your example Tracy. Check this book out. A "Get Well Will" video from the New Students at Linfield College. Thank you! Nice emails from Jim Matthews and Nancy Hunter Denney, two of my friends who share the road with me as professional speakers. Their messages change lives. Great encouragements from my friend Coach Bryan Oleman, and all of the nice emails and prayers you have sent me. I am grateful and your encouragements supported me through a rough couple of days. I am blessed to call you all friends.
Blessings to all of you, day by day!
Will
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Not So Random Acts Of Kindness
Dear Friends,
Donna and I are in between speeches today at the University of Redlands and California State University, San Bernardino. Many parents today extended amazing acts of kindness to me after I spoke to them in the Chapel.
One man handed me a note that read, "God will work with you on your cancer-either work through it or remove it all together-all depending on your faith." Another dear man said, "I've just been diagnosed." An African American Baptist Minister and his wife told me not only would they be praying for me, but I would be on their prayer list at Church. A Mom said, "I work at a Jesuit school and we will all be praying for you and thinking good thoughts." I met another Mother who went to school with me at the University of The Pacific and was there for her daughter's orientation. We had a brief but meaningful catch-up. A woman who identified herself as a healer told me that she had felt such strong movements of healing for me spiritually and great love that she needed to tell me to keep believing and then hugged me to pass on the healing.
As the last well wishers left the Chapel, a woman approached me and said, "This is the fifth child I have dropped off for college. I have grandchildren in college. I wasn't going to come today but I read that the Chapel was air conditioned. So I came for the comfort. I am so glad I came and heard you." She then took off a small medallion she was wearing and said, "Mother Theresa gave this to me for my work with the Sisters of Charity and the children. I want you to have it." I said, "You should keep that. It is so meaningful." She said, "No. I want you to have it. I hope it doesn't offend you." I could barely keep from crying. I thanked her with all my heart and she took my hand, then left.
Could we ever find a way to be this kind, compassionate, and loving with each other without a dis-ease or a crisis? The love of those parents and the hundreds of others who came up lifted me up and gave me strength and courage to hope, to trust, and to love them back. You would do me a real solid today if you told somebody that you loved them. It would likely come right back at you!
With love,
Will
Donna and I are in between speeches today at the University of Redlands and California State University, San Bernardino. Many parents today extended amazing acts of kindness to me after I spoke to them in the Chapel.
One man handed me a note that read, "God will work with you on your cancer-either work through it or remove it all together-all depending on your faith." Another dear man said, "I've just been diagnosed." An African American Baptist Minister and his wife told me not only would they be praying for me, but I would be on their prayer list at Church. A Mom said, "I work at a Jesuit school and we will all be praying for you and thinking good thoughts." I met another Mother who went to school with me at the University of The Pacific and was there for her daughter's orientation. We had a brief but meaningful catch-up. A woman who identified herself as a healer told me that she had felt such strong movements of healing for me spiritually and great love that she needed to tell me to keep believing and then hugged me to pass on the healing.
As the last well wishers left the Chapel, a woman approached me and said, "This is the fifth child I have dropped off for college. I have grandchildren in college. I wasn't going to come today but I read that the Chapel was air conditioned. So I came for the comfort. I am so glad I came and heard you." She then took off a small medallion she was wearing and said, "Mother Theresa gave this to me for my work with the Sisters of Charity and the children. I want you to have it." I said, "You should keep that. It is so meaningful." She said, "No. I want you to have it. I hope it doesn't offend you." I could barely keep from crying. I thanked her with all my heart and she took my hand, then left.
Could we ever find a way to be this kind, compassionate, and loving with each other without a dis-ease or a crisis? The love of those parents and the hundreds of others who came up lifted me up and gave me strength and courage to hope, to trust, and to love them back. You would do me a real solid today if you told somebody that you loved them. It would likely come right back at you!
With love,
Will
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Grace, Gratitude, and Healing
Dear Friends,
Donna and I are in Southern California at the Mission Inn in Riverside speaking at California State University, San Bernardino, and then at The University of Redlands. This will be my 35th speaking year at Redlands. It was my first University event and they have really stuck with me! I spoke to Mark Hartley who is bringing me to CSUSB when he was a freshman in 1989. Watching him grow from a complete first year into a seasoned professional, husband, and father has been one of the great joys of my life! Special thanks as well to Vice President Char Burgess, Dean Robles, and Val Sponheim for bringing me back to Redlands again and again. I will always think of Char as 'The Dean' because along with Dean Bruce Pittman of Idaho, they defined the role for me in my mind as a then young professional.
Donna and I had dinner last night with Ilaria Pesco, formally of Redlands and most recently of Semester at Sea, and breakfast with Dr. Michael Finley of Western Health Sciences University here at the Inn. As Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton sing in their most recent song together, "You just can't make old friends." They are either there or they are not! Ilaria, incidentally, is looking for employment in higher education and she carries my "A+" rating. A wonderful professional at Redlands for 17 years under Dean Burgess' tutelage and as a colleague of Neal Pahia, she now brings the wealth and depth of A Semester at Sea with her in her skill set. Dr. Micheal Finley is an SAE who was instrumental in bringing the first medical school to Oregon in over 100 years with the new school in Lebanon, Oregon. We have been brothers for 20 years and he made a special trip out to the Inland Empire before work today to say hello and check on me. After the discovery of my dis-ease, I have been overwhelmed with calls, cards, and social media contacts from old friends and new. Educators do not get rich except in memories and experiences. I was contacted this week by Kelly (Brown) Doucet who sat in the front row of Church during Campus Ministry at OSU every Sunday. She was dropping her daughter off for college orientation in Corvallis and wanted to say hello. I will see her when she comes back for the first of the year. If she is old enough to have a college daughter, then I must be older too!
Do you remember in an earlier blog when I said that I did not get cancer on July 16th? I just found out about it then? I had been living with it for some time. I was thinking about that one day last week when I was feeling pretty close to my old self. Energy returning, looking forward to the future, engaged with students in my lectures. Then it hit me...healing is a process like cancer. When I pray to God to heal me through the physicians and the medicine and through the Spirit, it is not like that is off in some far away time. If I believe in what I am saying to God, in God, and in the power of the Spirit to do the impossible, then it begins to happen when I say it. "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you." A central teaching and parable of Jesus who backed it up with sight for the blind, mobility for the lame, and even life for Lazarus. For as C.S. Lewis said in "Mere Christianity", either Jesus is who he said he was or he is the greatest maniac in the history of the world. I respect every person's right to believe what they want. I think that is the American way at its best. It also fits well under some other important teachings of Jesus like, "Don't judge others or you will receive the same judgement." "Love God, and love your neighbor as you love yourself." These are inclusive teachings that build community between different people with different values.
Cancer is a process and healing is a process that involves a dis-ease, my attitudinal response to it, my Doctor's expertise, the medicines they use, and for me as a believer, a source of power and healing that transcends statistical tables, survival rates, and what we know here on Earth. No one knows the mind or plan of God so this isn't a "everything is going to be great" statement. Simply put, it is a "isn't it amazing, an act of Grace, that I have been able to have surgery, take a chemo infusion, and then visit 10 states to lecture?" Isn't that a miracle? How about my daughter Christa taking 8 of the last 10 days she is off this Summer to go with me to make sure I am alright? Gratitude? Right there. Donna has a ton to do at home, and still, she is with me on this trip. Has any person the right to such a great partner? Sami and Steve will be moving home, taking over the basement, and Hannah and JJ are moving home because they know there are financial strains on our family because of the dis-ease. I also think they all know in their hearts that their presence lifts me, empowers me, comforts me, and heals me. A parent's greatest joy is their children when things go like God intended them in a family. Who is more blessed?
The day I was diagnosed, a friend, who I have a ton of love and respect for, showed up at my house and asked me if he could talk to me privately outside. He said, "I use to dream about girls and sporting events. Last night I dreamed about you. God told me to tell you that even though you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, you are not walking alone. God wants you to know that He is with you and will be with you." The dream happened the night before my friend received the news on his phone message the next morning. Chance? Last week a young freshman woman came up to me at Elmhurst College and said, "My doctor gave me 6 weeks three years ago. Don't let them tell you when to stop." Christa, the young woman, and I teared up. It was so powerful. All of you who have kept up and cared are Grace personified for me. It is no longer a philosophical concept but can be seen in your actions. I do not deserve it but I am so grateful for it. I would only ask that each of you look around today and take a look at even the smallest thing in your life that you might be grateful for. It's there...sometimes it is just hard to see. In my mind, and in my soul, I am in the process of healing, guided by my desire to love my family more, teach and engage more students, and live to watch my blessed Grandchildren, born and the yet to be born, live and play and love. I am encased by your warm friendship, cared for by my Doctors, and standing in the healing light of my Lord and Savior. I hope this doesn't put you off, but it is where I am at. We can still have a Jamison's or a glass of wine, still tell jokes on the border of appropriate, and at times be just who we are, but beneath it all, there is Grace, Gratitude, and Healing. And in my world, as the hymn says, "Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow."
With love,
Will
Donna and I are in Southern California at the Mission Inn in Riverside speaking at California State University, San Bernardino, and then at The University of Redlands. This will be my 35th speaking year at Redlands. It was my first University event and they have really stuck with me! I spoke to Mark Hartley who is bringing me to CSUSB when he was a freshman in 1989. Watching him grow from a complete first year into a seasoned professional, husband, and father has been one of the great joys of my life! Special thanks as well to Vice President Char Burgess, Dean Robles, and Val Sponheim for bringing me back to Redlands again and again. I will always think of Char as 'The Dean' because along with Dean Bruce Pittman of Idaho, they defined the role for me in my mind as a then young professional.
Donna and I had dinner last night with Ilaria Pesco, formally of Redlands and most recently of Semester at Sea, and breakfast with Dr. Michael Finley of Western Health Sciences University here at the Inn. As Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton sing in their most recent song together, "You just can't make old friends." They are either there or they are not! Ilaria, incidentally, is looking for employment in higher education and she carries my "A+" rating. A wonderful professional at Redlands for 17 years under Dean Burgess' tutelage and as a colleague of Neal Pahia, she now brings the wealth and depth of A Semester at Sea with her in her skill set. Dr. Micheal Finley is an SAE who was instrumental in bringing the first medical school to Oregon in over 100 years with the new school in Lebanon, Oregon. We have been brothers for 20 years and he made a special trip out to the Inland Empire before work today to say hello and check on me. After the discovery of my dis-ease, I have been overwhelmed with calls, cards, and social media contacts from old friends and new. Educators do not get rich except in memories and experiences. I was contacted this week by Kelly (Brown) Doucet who sat in the front row of Church during Campus Ministry at OSU every Sunday. She was dropping her daughter off for college orientation in Corvallis and wanted to say hello. I will see her when she comes back for the first of the year. If she is old enough to have a college daughter, then I must be older too!
Do you remember in an earlier blog when I said that I did not get cancer on July 16th? I just found out about it then? I had been living with it for some time. I was thinking about that one day last week when I was feeling pretty close to my old self. Energy returning, looking forward to the future, engaged with students in my lectures. Then it hit me...healing is a process like cancer. When I pray to God to heal me through the physicians and the medicine and through the Spirit, it is not like that is off in some far away time. If I believe in what I am saying to God, in God, and in the power of the Spirit to do the impossible, then it begins to happen when I say it. "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you." A central teaching and parable of Jesus who backed it up with sight for the blind, mobility for the lame, and even life for Lazarus. For as C.S. Lewis said in "Mere Christianity", either Jesus is who he said he was or he is the greatest maniac in the history of the world. I respect every person's right to believe what they want. I think that is the American way at its best. It also fits well under some other important teachings of Jesus like, "Don't judge others or you will receive the same judgement." "Love God, and love your neighbor as you love yourself." These are inclusive teachings that build community between different people with different values.
Cancer is a process and healing is a process that involves a dis-ease, my attitudinal response to it, my Doctor's expertise, the medicines they use, and for me as a believer, a source of power and healing that transcends statistical tables, survival rates, and what we know here on Earth. No one knows the mind or plan of God so this isn't a "everything is going to be great" statement. Simply put, it is a "isn't it amazing, an act of Grace, that I have been able to have surgery, take a chemo infusion, and then visit 10 states to lecture?" Isn't that a miracle? How about my daughter Christa taking 8 of the last 10 days she is off this Summer to go with me to make sure I am alright? Gratitude? Right there. Donna has a ton to do at home, and still, she is with me on this trip. Has any person the right to such a great partner? Sami and Steve will be moving home, taking over the basement, and Hannah and JJ are moving home because they know there are financial strains on our family because of the dis-ease. I also think they all know in their hearts that their presence lifts me, empowers me, comforts me, and heals me. A parent's greatest joy is their children when things go like God intended them in a family. Who is more blessed?
The day I was diagnosed, a friend, who I have a ton of love and respect for, showed up at my house and asked me if he could talk to me privately outside. He said, "I use to dream about girls and sporting events. Last night I dreamed about you. God told me to tell you that even though you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, you are not walking alone. God wants you to know that He is with you and will be with you." The dream happened the night before my friend received the news on his phone message the next morning. Chance? Last week a young freshman woman came up to me at Elmhurst College and said, "My doctor gave me 6 weeks three years ago. Don't let them tell you when to stop." Christa, the young woman, and I teared up. It was so powerful. All of you who have kept up and cared are Grace personified for me. It is no longer a philosophical concept but can be seen in your actions. I do not deserve it but I am so grateful for it. I would only ask that each of you look around today and take a look at even the smallest thing in your life that you might be grateful for. It's there...sometimes it is just hard to see. In my mind, and in my soul, I am in the process of healing, guided by my desire to love my family more, teach and engage more students, and live to watch my blessed Grandchildren, born and the yet to be born, live and play and love. I am encased by your warm friendship, cared for by my Doctors, and standing in the healing light of my Lord and Savior. I hope this doesn't put you off, but it is where I am at. We can still have a Jamison's or a glass of wine, still tell jokes on the border of appropriate, and at times be just who we are, but beneath it all, there is Grace, Gratitude, and Healing. And in my world, as the hymn says, "Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow."
With love,
Will
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
A Very Special Place With Very Special People
Tonight I spoke at Elmhurst College in Illinois. My friend Dr. Eileen Sullivan is the Dean and Desiree Novac is a special friend. Something happened during the speech that I wanted to share with you. After a rousing introduction of the Orientation Student Leaders by Orientation Coordinators Colin, Meredithe, and Zenya, I was introduced by Colin and went to the stage. The students were so responsive, supportive, and engaged. And then it happened...
For a moment I forgot I had cancer. It was bliss. Despite my best efforts to play on and play through, my diagnosis crosses my mind often. I had acknowledged my cancer to the students early to explain why I was seated behind the podium then moved on. I was speaking, the students were listening and responding...it was August again and I was doing my job. It was wonderfully normal! I ended my speech with the reading of a poem "What Cancer Cannot Do" that was given to me by Pam Caballero, my son in law Steve's Aunt. The students and staff exploded to their feet. I felt healthy, inspired, and incredibly hopeful. I felt energized.
As Christa and I sat for a moment at the dinner with Eileen and Des, students came by to say thank you and two cancer survivors told me their stories. One was given a year to live six years ago, and the other was given six weeks to live three years ago. I asked them what their key to living was and both said, "Don't let them tell you how long you have to live. You decide." It was powerful. Then the College President offered me his prayers, the Chaplain raised me up before the meal was served, Vice Presidents, Paul the Athletic Director. People took time to offer encouragement, prayers, and frankly hope.
What a very special place with very special people. I thank God I was asked to come, and also that I was able to be there and receive much more than I gave. Elmhurst College ministered to me tonight and for that Christa and I were in tears and thankful. Thank you Bluejays!
Will
For a moment I forgot I had cancer. It was bliss. Despite my best efforts to play on and play through, my diagnosis crosses my mind often. I had acknowledged my cancer to the students early to explain why I was seated behind the podium then moved on. I was speaking, the students were listening and responding...it was August again and I was doing my job. It was wonderfully normal! I ended my speech with the reading of a poem "What Cancer Cannot Do" that was given to me by Pam Caballero, my son in law Steve's Aunt. The students and staff exploded to their feet. I felt healthy, inspired, and incredibly hopeful. I felt energized.
As Christa and I sat for a moment at the dinner with Eileen and Des, students came by to say thank you and two cancer survivors told me their stories. One was given a year to live six years ago, and the other was given six weeks to live three years ago. I asked them what their key to living was and both said, "Don't let them tell you how long you have to live. You decide." It was powerful. Then the College President offered me his prayers, the Chaplain raised me up before the meal was served, Vice Presidents, Paul the Athletic Director. People took time to offer encouragement, prayers, and frankly hope.
What a very special place with very special people. I thank God I was asked to come, and also that I was able to be there and receive much more than I gave. Elmhurst College ministered to me tonight and for that Christa and I were in tears and thankful. Thank you Bluejays!
Will
Summer In The City
Dear Friends,
Christa and I are in Chicago today preparing for the next presentation to the new students at Elmhurst College. Elmhurst is a wonderful liberal arts college where two of my oldest friends in higher education work. Dr. Eileen Sullivan is the Vice President for Student Life and we have been friends for thirty years. I was blessed to officiate the wedding of her assistant Desiree Novac and her husband Jordan a few years back as well. They have been good friends and have invited me to welcome their first year students today at 5:15 p.m. We will then head to Iowa State University to participate in Destination Iowa State to welcome their first year class to Ames, Iowa, one of the great college towns in America. Every new student for several years has read "Keys To Success In College And Life" and I am excited to experience Hilton Magic again. Destination Iowa State will have the Hilton Coliseum rocking!
Health wise I am really trying to stay in the moment and not get down the road with worry and stress. This is harder than I thought. I have always had a rolodex like mental game with airline choices, road directions, situations and the like that brings forth into my consciousness a myriad of possibilities. With cancer as a diagnosis this is not always comforting and peace producing. I am not in pain and would describe my energy level at 75-80%. The one concession I have made in my lecturing is that I sit on a high backed stool or chair behind the podium which gives me the ability to put my energy into vocal variety, humor, and gestures instead of occasionally thinking about the fact that I am standing for an extended period of time. So far so good. My next blood work and Doctor's appointment is September 2nd followed by a second infusion on September 3rd in Corvallis. Christa and I will return home this Sunday from Minneapolis.
Our family has been overwhelmed with your desires and offers to help us! My daughter Christa has initiated an idea that she will share with all of you on this blog on September 1st that will give you the opportunity to truly help our family through this difficult time. You have resoundingly told me that it is my time to receive and I am working on accepting that fact. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts as you will be in ours. Let's try to be in the moment today, present to all those around us at work, at play, and in our homes. Let's not miss the opportunity to be of service to someone close to us today because we are gazing down a future path that will reveal itself in time. As Rainer Maria Rilke told the Young Poet, we must all live into the answers to our questions.
Blessings,
Will
Christa and I are in Chicago today preparing for the next presentation to the new students at Elmhurst College. Elmhurst is a wonderful liberal arts college where two of my oldest friends in higher education work. Dr. Eileen Sullivan is the Vice President for Student Life and we have been friends for thirty years. I was blessed to officiate the wedding of her assistant Desiree Novac and her husband Jordan a few years back as well. They have been good friends and have invited me to welcome their first year students today at 5:15 p.m. We will then head to Iowa State University to participate in Destination Iowa State to welcome their first year class to Ames, Iowa, one of the great college towns in America. Every new student for several years has read "Keys To Success In College And Life" and I am excited to experience Hilton Magic again. Destination Iowa State will have the Hilton Coliseum rocking!
Health wise I am really trying to stay in the moment and not get down the road with worry and stress. This is harder than I thought. I have always had a rolodex like mental game with airline choices, road directions, situations and the like that brings forth into my consciousness a myriad of possibilities. With cancer as a diagnosis this is not always comforting and peace producing. I am not in pain and would describe my energy level at 75-80%. The one concession I have made in my lecturing is that I sit on a high backed stool or chair behind the podium which gives me the ability to put my energy into vocal variety, humor, and gestures instead of occasionally thinking about the fact that I am standing for an extended period of time. So far so good. My next blood work and Doctor's appointment is September 2nd followed by a second infusion on September 3rd in Corvallis. Christa and I will return home this Sunday from Minneapolis.
Our family has been overwhelmed with your desires and offers to help us! My daughter Christa has initiated an idea that she will share with all of you on this blog on September 1st that will give you the opportunity to truly help our family through this difficult time. You have resoundingly told me that it is my time to receive and I am working on accepting that fact. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts as you will be in ours. Let's try to be in the moment today, present to all those around us at work, at play, and in our homes. Let's not miss the opportunity to be of service to someone close to us today because we are gazing down a future path that will reveal itself in time. As Rainer Maria Rilke told the Young Poet, we must all live into the answers to our questions.
Blessings,
Will
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Good Evening
I wanted to let you all know that my first post round of chemo infusion lecture trip is going as well as I think it can. I took the infusion on Tuesday morning and Christa and I got on a flight to Kansas City the next morning at 6 a.m. Thanks to Donna for getting us there.
Dean of Students Julian, Emily Givens, Brian, Matt and all the students at Drury University were so good to me. They arranged for me to sit in a high back chair to deliver my presentation to the parents, then the students, and the next morning on alcohol and other drugs. The standing ovation the students gave me brought me to tears. Several came up with family cancer stories and I know we ministered to each other through our sharing.
Christa and I then drive down to Eureka Springs, Arkansas to see our friends Sheryl, Shawnda, and their daughter Claire. The are running a wonderful resort with four cabins, one in which they live, called The Wild Plum. I would recommend their hospitality and also tell you that Eureka Springs is one of the most unique places in the country. Check it out. There is a spring here that pumps 38 million gallons of crystal clear water into a lake each day. Civil war soldiers used to heal here with the hot springs. 2,000 people live here bathed in nature's best as well as 173 restaurants, 1800's hotels, boutiques, and art galleries.
Health wise, I have some pains and my sleep is intermittent. I nap in the afternoons and feel strength coming back though I am still working on my anemia. Christa is keeping me hydrated and doing all the driving. The first night in Kansas City was the toughest as I got the chills really bad after dinner. They passed and each day I feel like I can do more. It is 9:30 pm here and I am still up! It's the little things.
I have two lectures left; one at Elmhurst College in Chicago on Wednesday, and then the Destination Iowa State address Thursday. Christa and I will then head home.
Thank you for your continued support and the nice notes, cards, and positive thinking. I am so blessed to have friends and family like the ones I have. I will say it again...deal with it and get used to it...I love you all and thank God for each of you every day.
Will
Dean of Students Julian, Emily Givens, Brian, Matt and all the students at Drury University were so good to me. They arranged for me to sit in a high back chair to deliver my presentation to the parents, then the students, and the next morning on alcohol and other drugs. The standing ovation the students gave me brought me to tears. Several came up with family cancer stories and I know we ministered to each other through our sharing.
Christa and I then drive down to Eureka Springs, Arkansas to see our friends Sheryl, Shawnda, and their daughter Claire. The are running a wonderful resort with four cabins, one in which they live, called The Wild Plum. I would recommend their hospitality and also tell you that Eureka Springs is one of the most unique places in the country. Check it out. There is a spring here that pumps 38 million gallons of crystal clear water into a lake each day. Civil war soldiers used to heal here with the hot springs. 2,000 people live here bathed in nature's best as well as 173 restaurants, 1800's hotels, boutiques, and art galleries.
Health wise, I have some pains and my sleep is intermittent. I nap in the afternoons and feel strength coming back though I am still working on my anemia. Christa is keeping me hydrated and doing all the driving. The first night in Kansas City was the toughest as I got the chills really bad after dinner. They passed and each day I feel like I can do more. It is 9:30 pm here and I am still up! It's the little things.
I have two lectures left; one at Elmhurst College in Chicago on Wednesday, and then the Destination Iowa State address Thursday. Christa and I will then head home.
Thank you for your continued support and the nice notes, cards, and positive thinking. I am so blessed to have friends and family like the ones I have. I will say it again...deal with it and get used to it...I love you all and thank God for each of you every day.
Will
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
First Treatment
Dear Friends,
I took my first infusion chemo treat today at the Corvallis Good Samaritan Infusion Center. Thanks to Dianne, my infusion nurse, for her kindnesses. I finished the treatment at 1:20 p.m. and it is 8:20 p.m. and so far I have had no negative reactions or side effects. Thanks as well to Dr. Matt Taylor and Dr. Vicky Lee for making this happen so that I would have a chance to give my lectures at Drury University, Elmhurst College, and Iowa State over the next 10 days. My next treatment will be in three weeks. Gratitude and thanks be to God, my friends with all their prayers and thoughts, and the medical team for helping me negotiate the early steps of this journey. I want to particularly thank Dan Ahern and Tim Hennessy for friendship above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks as well to Kathy, a survivor, and Monsignor Silva for sage like advice and prayer. Rudy's visit meant a lot as well. You have all been so great to me. I have always told others that the joy is in giving, and no one gets to give unless someone receives. Many, many of you have told me this is my time to receive. I am so much more comfortable giving than receiving. I will never feel worthy of the love you have given me, but given time, I will pass it on as mightily as I can. You all have shown me what real love is and what true friendship looks like. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you1
I took my first infusion chemo treat today at the Corvallis Good Samaritan Infusion Center. Thanks to Dianne, my infusion nurse, for her kindnesses. I finished the treatment at 1:20 p.m. and it is 8:20 p.m. and so far I have had no negative reactions or side effects. Thanks as well to Dr. Matt Taylor and Dr. Vicky Lee for making this happen so that I would have a chance to give my lectures at Drury University, Elmhurst College, and Iowa State over the next 10 days. My next treatment will be in three weeks. Gratitude and thanks be to God, my friends with all their prayers and thoughts, and the medical team for helping me negotiate the early steps of this journey. I want to particularly thank Dan Ahern and Tim Hennessy for friendship above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks as well to Kathy, a survivor, and Monsignor Silva for sage like advice and prayer. Rudy's visit meant a lot as well. You have all been so great to me. I have always told others that the joy is in giving, and no one gets to give unless someone receives. Many, many of you have told me this is my time to receive. I am so much more comfortable giving than receiving. I will never feel worthy of the love you have given me, but given time, I will pass it on as mightily as I can. You all have shown me what real love is and what true friendship looks like. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you1
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Real Men Sing Each Other Love Songs
Dear Friends,
A short entry today to make you aware of a love song that was graciously sung to me by my wonderful friend Jim Peacock of Vassalboro, Maine. Please don't mob his house, but let's take this video viral. I've seen staring squirrels, little girls offering to 'kick monster's asses', and a kid named Charlie biting his brother's finger. This video is a love song from one man to another. My wife told me to give you the link and I said, "Yes dear." That's how you stay married 34 years! I had no idea how to do that so thanks to my son JJ for doing the voodoo that he do. Thank you Jimmy...husband, father, fisherman extraordinaire, outdoorsman, and friend. You are also the hairiest guy I know so thank you for singing the song with your shirt on brother. I love you right back!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_U-Tm7Ud8&feature=youtu.be
A short entry today to make you aware of a love song that was graciously sung to me by my wonderful friend Jim Peacock of Vassalboro, Maine. Please don't mob his house, but let's take this video viral. I've seen staring squirrels, little girls offering to 'kick monster's asses', and a kid named Charlie biting his brother's finger. This video is a love song from one man to another. My wife told me to give you the link and I said, "Yes dear." That's how you stay married 34 years! I had no idea how to do that so thanks to my son JJ for doing the voodoo that he do. Thank you Jimmy...husband, father, fisherman extraordinaire, outdoorsman, and friend. You are also the hairiest guy I know so thank you for singing the song with your shirt on brother. I love you right back!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_U-Tm7Ud8&feature=youtu.be
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Every Silver Lining Has A Cloud
Greetings! It is a beautiful Saturday morning in Oregon. The "Eden at the end of the Oregon Trail" in the words of the pioneers is really showing off this morning. Highlights today will include my daughter Sami's sister-in-law Bree's baby shower, work in the yard here by the three SAEs we have housed for the Summer, apple picking, and Grandma's mandate that we eat the leftovers for the week for dinner tonight. Every tiny thing I get to do that doesn't include an MRI, a CT Scan, a PET scan, a transfusion, blood being drawn, or a hospital seems to be an Oscar-caliber event to me these days. I feel good and am looking forward to some flower planting as well.
Last Wednesday I met an amazing man named Dr. Matt Taylor. He is a medical oncologist at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland and will be my co-oncologist with Dr. Vicky Lee in Corvallis. The Knight Cancer Center in Portland at OHSU is the best we have and my medical team thought it wise to have an onsite and OHSU oncologist. I was told by many survivors to stop looking for a cancer doctor when I met a doctor who seemed to want me to live as much as I did. With Dr. Lee, an amazingly assertive and direct professional, I am afraid to die! She won't have it. Dr. Taylor, a father of four was so optimistic, so encouraging, so informed about the new treatments available. He knows Dr. Lee and respects her, and she him, so I have my medical team. It includes surgeon Dr. Peter Hudson, and my primary care physician Dr. Rong Wang. Peter is the father of my daughter Christa's best friend Karen, and Dr. Wong and Dr. Lee are close and friends.
I told Dr. Taylor after he explained the six possible treatments available to me, "Doc, you are almost making me feel optimistic about my chances for survival and some extra years." He said, "That's my job." Then corrected himself, "Actually, it's my vocation. One that I spend so much time on my wife would likely like some more of my time with our four daughters." Vocation. Calling. I like that. He is a Church guy as well and put me in his prayers as well as on his patient list. At 60 I am getting used to everyone looking younger than me and Dr. Taylor is no exception. I don't know if it was him or me that brought up Doogie Doctor, but we shared a laugh. I know Dr.s Taylor, Lee, Hudson, and Wang will do their very best for me. That, your prayers, cards, jokes, and kind thoughts, and the Grace of God Almighty are keeping me going.
What's up this week is the first injection of my meds on Wednesday. I always want to say that my health provider MODA has been amazing and prompt in approving the treatments that I need to move forward. The plan is to fly out Thursday with Christa to catch up with my lecture schedule. I have missed one talk at a community college but provided them with my presentation on video with a special campus specific introduction and a word about why I was not there. It is the best I can do under the circumstances. The meds will be taken every three weeks by injection. There are two new treatments that have been approved by the FDA which are very promising that will be available in the next six months and Dr. Taylor and Dr. Lee thought I should get started now and see how I respond to this treatment.
Wednesday last week was a hopeful day for me. Dr. Taylor was amazing, then I came home with high spirits, mowed the lawn, blew the leaves away, started the BBQ, and then we hosted 50 neighbors for the annual Jackson St. picnic. A big day for me energy wise. Small change for you all, but remember I am into the little things right now.:):):) Donna asked me to tell the neighbors what we were dealing with and I did my best to be clear, and hopeful. I want you all to know that I am not looking at this through rose colored glasses. However, I have to be the glass half full guy in this scenario. My whole life I have struggled to be the positive one. Many of you know that my biological father, Will S. Keim, Jr. died three months before I was born. My step father, Jack, was a great Dad and a practicing alcoholic. I was molested as an 8 year, and again in my twenties by a trusted minister friend to make sure my self esteem took a hit. I HAVE TO BE POSITIVE, or let the dark voice take me down. Which I suppose is why I love Jesus saying to Peter, after Peter, inspired by the Dark One, tries to talk Jesus out of going to Jerusalem, "Get behind me Satan." Jesus isn't calling Peter Satan. Rather, he is identifying the source of doubt, discouragement, fear, despair, hopelessness, violence, abuse. Not the red devil Satan...just the dark voice in each of us that wears us down with negativity. Tells us we cannot. Shows us wrong turns off the highway to healthy living. You can be an atheist and still have heard the dark voice in the night of your humanistic despair.
So...after my really good Wednesday, one of my neighbors, the only one with the courage to approach me about my cancer, and please note he is a great older guy, took some time to tell me about his brother's gruesome death due to melanoma. Please don't judge him. He and his wife are wonderful neighbors. I think he still feels the pain and it did give me a chance to get over my issues for a moment and reach out to him and offer him my condolence. But it dawned on me: Every silver lining has a cloud. I think the key is to not get too high or too low, and let the magic happen in the middle. My friend provided balance for me and inspired me to tell you I know this is serious and I again am trying to be positive. It's what I do. I am not in denial. I am not a Rhodes Scholar but I am smart enough to know that you only hear from Survivors. The ones who didn't make it don't write. But let's go forward operating with the assumption that we will be connected as friends and family for years to come. If that doesn't happen, there will be time then for sadness and grieving. In the meantime...
Live. Laugh. Love.
Life. Ourselves. Each Other.
Thanks for reading this with me. It offers me an outlet that I think frames my 'negotiation' with cancer. I do honestly love you all!
Will
Last Wednesday I met an amazing man named Dr. Matt Taylor. He is a medical oncologist at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland and will be my co-oncologist with Dr. Vicky Lee in Corvallis. The Knight Cancer Center in Portland at OHSU is the best we have and my medical team thought it wise to have an onsite and OHSU oncologist. I was told by many survivors to stop looking for a cancer doctor when I met a doctor who seemed to want me to live as much as I did. With Dr. Lee, an amazingly assertive and direct professional, I am afraid to die! She won't have it. Dr. Taylor, a father of four was so optimistic, so encouraging, so informed about the new treatments available. He knows Dr. Lee and respects her, and she him, so I have my medical team. It includes surgeon Dr. Peter Hudson, and my primary care physician Dr. Rong Wang. Peter is the father of my daughter Christa's best friend Karen, and Dr. Wong and Dr. Lee are close and friends.
I told Dr. Taylor after he explained the six possible treatments available to me, "Doc, you are almost making me feel optimistic about my chances for survival and some extra years." He said, "That's my job." Then corrected himself, "Actually, it's my vocation. One that I spend so much time on my wife would likely like some more of my time with our four daughters." Vocation. Calling. I like that. He is a Church guy as well and put me in his prayers as well as on his patient list. At 60 I am getting used to everyone looking younger than me and Dr. Taylor is no exception. I don't know if it was him or me that brought up Doogie Doctor, but we shared a laugh. I know Dr.s Taylor, Lee, Hudson, and Wang will do their very best for me. That, your prayers, cards, jokes, and kind thoughts, and the Grace of God Almighty are keeping me going.
What's up this week is the first injection of my meds on Wednesday. I always want to say that my health provider MODA has been amazing and prompt in approving the treatments that I need to move forward. The plan is to fly out Thursday with Christa to catch up with my lecture schedule. I have missed one talk at a community college but provided them with my presentation on video with a special campus specific introduction and a word about why I was not there. It is the best I can do under the circumstances. The meds will be taken every three weeks by injection. There are two new treatments that have been approved by the FDA which are very promising that will be available in the next six months and Dr. Taylor and Dr. Lee thought I should get started now and see how I respond to this treatment.
Wednesday last week was a hopeful day for me. Dr. Taylor was amazing, then I came home with high spirits, mowed the lawn, blew the leaves away, started the BBQ, and then we hosted 50 neighbors for the annual Jackson St. picnic. A big day for me energy wise. Small change for you all, but remember I am into the little things right now.:):):) Donna asked me to tell the neighbors what we were dealing with and I did my best to be clear, and hopeful. I want you all to know that I am not looking at this through rose colored glasses. However, I have to be the glass half full guy in this scenario. My whole life I have struggled to be the positive one. Many of you know that my biological father, Will S. Keim, Jr. died three months before I was born. My step father, Jack, was a great Dad and a practicing alcoholic. I was molested as an 8 year, and again in my twenties by a trusted minister friend to make sure my self esteem took a hit. I HAVE TO BE POSITIVE, or let the dark voice take me down. Which I suppose is why I love Jesus saying to Peter, after Peter, inspired by the Dark One, tries to talk Jesus out of going to Jerusalem, "Get behind me Satan." Jesus isn't calling Peter Satan. Rather, he is identifying the source of doubt, discouragement, fear, despair, hopelessness, violence, abuse. Not the red devil Satan...just the dark voice in each of us that wears us down with negativity. Tells us we cannot. Shows us wrong turns off the highway to healthy living. You can be an atheist and still have heard the dark voice in the night of your humanistic despair.
So...after my really good Wednesday, one of my neighbors, the only one with the courage to approach me about my cancer, and please note he is a great older guy, took some time to tell me about his brother's gruesome death due to melanoma. Please don't judge him. He and his wife are wonderful neighbors. I think he still feels the pain and it did give me a chance to get over my issues for a moment and reach out to him and offer him my condolence. But it dawned on me: Every silver lining has a cloud. I think the key is to not get too high or too low, and let the magic happen in the middle. My friend provided balance for me and inspired me to tell you I know this is serious and I again am trying to be positive. It's what I do. I am not in denial. I am not a Rhodes Scholar but I am smart enough to know that you only hear from Survivors. The ones who didn't make it don't write. But let's go forward operating with the assumption that we will be connected as friends and family for years to come. If that doesn't happen, there will be time then for sadness and grieving. In the meantime...
Live. Laugh. Love.
Life. Ourselves. Each Other.
Thanks for reading this with me. It offers me an outlet that I think frames my 'negotiation' with cancer. I do honestly love you all!
Will
Saturday, August 2, 2014
I'd Like To Buy The World A Coke
I would like to throw a bone to my older friends and ask them if they remember the Coca Cola marketing slogan, "I'd like to buy the world a Coke." For those of you who are younger, the concept that people around the world might be drinking Coke seemed beyond belief. How would they hear about it? How would they get it? Multinational, not to mention multicultural, were hardly buzz words used by regular folks like me and my friends. To add credence to the circuitous path upon which I am embarked, the cover of Sports Illustrated around this time had a picture of Pete Rose with the caption, "I want to be the first $100,000 singles hitter." 100K for a guy who hits singles? No way. And my contribution, "When gas gets to be .50 cents a gallon, I'll walk." I have often joked in my talks that our biggest worry when I was a freshman were the pterodactyls snatching first year students off of the quad lawns at college. Sometimes I feel like a dinosaur, sometimes I fee like a nut. Sorry...it was there and I had to take it.
In the last two days, I have had a wonderful visit from my first boss, Dr. David and his wife Dr. Carolyn Stephen. They live in California and were coming through. We laughed and wondered how he supervised myself, Jim Peacock, Dan Ahern, Robin Elmer, Sally Click, Dan Grindeman and others at the same time. He simply said he felt he had earned his money. David has always been a true friend, mentor, and the living embodiment of how a man can be open with his feelings towards others.
My friend Dr. Michael Finley texted and said he had lit a candle for me in the Grotto at Notre Dame in Indiana. Moments later, Greg Smith, a friend and Dad of Lily Smith, my first softball player to go on to play in college, emailed to tell me that Chief Mansaray in Sinkunia, Sierra Leone, Africa was raising my name in prayer at the Muslim Mosque there. Our softball team supports the school that Greg, his wife Claire, and Lily have started which has children from seven villages that used to hate each other learning side by side. The aforementioned Jim Peacock sang me a love song on YouTube, the highlight lyrics including, "We're not steaks and martinis, we're cold beer and weenies."
The world is a huge and shrinking place. A candle at Notre Dame, a Mass in Oxford, Mississippi, a prayer led by an African Chief, a love song from my buddy Jimmy, a visit from my first professional mentor. Add the cloistered Nuns my cousin Kathy has praying for me, my son JJ's friend Grace enlisting her Jewish community in prayer, and each of your kind thoughts and actions.....and really.....something has to get through! The gospel song says, "Are you ready for a miracle?" And the response echoes my solemn prayer and wish, "Ready as I can be."
Thank you for caring and for your encouragement. The interconnectedness of all of this is overwhelming and is taking some of my lack of understanding of buying the world a Coke away. I would likely prefer to buy the world an In-N-Out Burger or a Jamesons, but it is the same concept. Have a great weekend and know you are making a difference in my life. Bigger than you can imagine. I am cocooned in your care and love and though walking in a valley shadowed with concern, I do not walk alone.
Will
In the last two days, I have had a wonderful visit from my first boss, Dr. David and his wife Dr. Carolyn Stephen. They live in California and were coming through. We laughed and wondered how he supervised myself, Jim Peacock, Dan Ahern, Robin Elmer, Sally Click, Dan Grindeman and others at the same time. He simply said he felt he had earned his money. David has always been a true friend, mentor, and the living embodiment of how a man can be open with his feelings towards others.
My friend Dr. Michael Finley texted and said he had lit a candle for me in the Grotto at Notre Dame in Indiana. Moments later, Greg Smith, a friend and Dad of Lily Smith, my first softball player to go on to play in college, emailed to tell me that Chief Mansaray in Sinkunia, Sierra Leone, Africa was raising my name in prayer at the Muslim Mosque there. Our softball team supports the school that Greg, his wife Claire, and Lily have started which has children from seven villages that used to hate each other learning side by side. The aforementioned Jim Peacock sang me a love song on YouTube, the highlight lyrics including, "We're not steaks and martinis, we're cold beer and weenies."
The world is a huge and shrinking place. A candle at Notre Dame, a Mass in Oxford, Mississippi, a prayer led by an African Chief, a love song from my buddy Jimmy, a visit from my first professional mentor. Add the cloistered Nuns my cousin Kathy has praying for me, my son JJ's friend Grace enlisting her Jewish community in prayer, and each of your kind thoughts and actions.....and really.....something has to get through! The gospel song says, "Are you ready for a miracle?" And the response echoes my solemn prayer and wish, "Ready as I can be."
Thank you for caring and for your encouragement. The interconnectedness of all of this is overwhelming and is taking some of my lack of understanding of buying the world a Coke away. I would likely prefer to buy the world an In-N-Out Burger or a Jamesons, but it is the same concept. Have a great weekend and know you are making a difference in my life. Bigger than you can imagine. I am cocooned in your care and love and though walking in a valley shadowed with concern, I do not walk alone.
Will
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Good Days & Bad Days
One of the most consistent pieces of advice from cancer survivors and their families is that you will have good days and bad days. When you hear something over and over again from people you know and trust, then you tend to believe it. When I was in New Mexico speaking, four students in different conversations, asked me if I had seen the White Sands. I was thinking, "I'm originally from California, I have been to Hawaii and Long Island...I've seen white sand." But after the fourth student asked, I 'allowed' my host student to take me out there from Las Cruces.
It was stunning. So spiritual. White Sands indeed, but not hot to the touch despite the New Mexico sun. I took off my sandals and put my feet in the cool sand. The beautiful mountains to the West, as white as the sands of Whitehaven Beach on Whitsunday Island in Australia, I removed my shirt. My student host said, "Dr. Keim, are you going to remove any more clothing?" As a public service I generally keep my clothes on and answered, "No." New Mexico is the Land of Enchantment, and I remember my visits with the Henry and Glenda Villegas to Chimayo, the Immaculate Staircase, Old Mesilla, and Sante Fe with great reverence.
"You will have good days and bad days." Dr. Peter Hudson began the process with a Laparoscopic Small Bowel Resection and the removal of two skin lesions on my back on Monday. As mentioned before, he is the Father of one of my daughter Christa's best friends, Karen. A brilliant man and a great doctor. He is a 'just the facts' kind of guy and doesn't candy coat anything. I have a ton of respect for him. He had said he might get in, find a thousand sources of cancer, and close. He estimated the time of surgery to be around an hour. We began about 10 a.m. and he spent the next four and a half hours removing nine growths from my stomach area. Obviously this changed his day and mine. While recovering in the hospital, he arranged an MRI of my head. It was a painful recovery with interesting roommates and their families. I am sure the I'm no picnic either.
The second night, the sixth in the last 10 days I had spent in a hospital, I had what I can only describe as a panic attack. I'm the hand holder, not the holdee. I visit, I am not the visitor. All of you had said, "This is your time to receive.", but I was restless, could not sleep, and hatched wild escape plans in my head. Fortunately, Donna sense my panic and literally slept in a chair in the corner of the room. I honestly don't know what I would have done if she would have left. The pain was manageable, but the sense of being held hostage was overwhelming. I don't like me when I play victim even in my head by myself. The was the not so good bad part of the day. And by the way, if you have had an MRI of your head, my heart and respect go out to you. I thought of my dear friend Coach Don Patterson and his courage to face radiation every day for six weeks.
Dr. Hudson came to the hospital yesterday and cleared me to leave. As the veterans of hospital stays know, for cancer or anything else, that just begins the lengthy process of getting home. As he was examining the four scars on my belly and talking about how pleased he was with the surgery he said, 'Oh, by the way, your MRI was clear." One of the great deadpan lines I have every received. "Oh, by the way..." There was an audible gasp in the room from the children. It doesn't mean melanoma won't try to get there, but it ain't there now. Praise God. Some good news. I wish you knew his daughter and Dr. Hudson, because this would be even more funny, but he followed the MRI understated announcement with something like, "There is a piece of your brain missing, which has explained a lot to those of us who know you." Wow! He smiled the smile of a truly smart person who has scored a humorous remark with someone who tries to make them all the time.
I got home, among my family, pets, Grandma, and thought, "This is one of the good times." Cancer is instructive, and when you are on a full liquid diet, yogurt is amazing, ice cream a primordial experience, and your own pillow a place of royalty upon which to lay your head. My next appointments are to see Dr. Hudson on Tuesday, Dr. Taylor and Dr. Vetto at Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland on Wednesday and Thursday, and then a PET Scan, (of me, not Callie) on Friday next week. In between, just wonderful rest filled time with the simple realization that its the little things of being free that are so beautiful and that we take for granted until something happens to take them away. I always thought I appreciated my life, my friends, my family, my faith, and lived in the moment. Now each tiny event is seen the way a child sees a butterfly, a firefly, or a hummingbird. With amazement and thanks, grace and gratitude.
There are good days & bad days. Most of the time we get to choose which of these monikers we put on our days. I wish I was a good enough teacher to teach you how precious you are, how amazing this day you are living in is, and to take time to see each tiny thing as a miracle. While I heal, that's what I am trying to figure out how to do. Look around today in your life. It will astound you. I don't want you to have to get cancer to be able to see what I am seeing. You are smarter than me!
Blessings, and love!
It was stunning. So spiritual. White Sands indeed, but not hot to the touch despite the New Mexico sun. I took off my sandals and put my feet in the cool sand. The beautiful mountains to the West, as white as the sands of Whitehaven Beach on Whitsunday Island in Australia, I removed my shirt. My student host said, "Dr. Keim, are you going to remove any more clothing?" As a public service I generally keep my clothes on and answered, "No." New Mexico is the Land of Enchantment, and I remember my visits with the Henry and Glenda Villegas to Chimayo, the Immaculate Staircase, Old Mesilla, and Sante Fe with great reverence.
"You will have good days and bad days." Dr. Peter Hudson began the process with a Laparoscopic Small Bowel Resection and the removal of two skin lesions on my back on Monday. As mentioned before, he is the Father of one of my daughter Christa's best friends, Karen. A brilliant man and a great doctor. He is a 'just the facts' kind of guy and doesn't candy coat anything. I have a ton of respect for him. He had said he might get in, find a thousand sources of cancer, and close. He estimated the time of surgery to be around an hour. We began about 10 a.m. and he spent the next four and a half hours removing nine growths from my stomach area. Obviously this changed his day and mine. While recovering in the hospital, he arranged an MRI of my head. It was a painful recovery with interesting roommates and their families. I am sure the I'm no picnic either.
The second night, the sixth in the last 10 days I had spent in a hospital, I had what I can only describe as a panic attack. I'm the hand holder, not the holdee. I visit, I am not the visitor. All of you had said, "This is your time to receive.", but I was restless, could not sleep, and hatched wild escape plans in my head. Fortunately, Donna sense my panic and literally slept in a chair in the corner of the room. I honestly don't know what I would have done if she would have left. The pain was manageable, but the sense of being held hostage was overwhelming. I don't like me when I play victim even in my head by myself. The was the not so good bad part of the day. And by the way, if you have had an MRI of your head, my heart and respect go out to you. I thought of my dear friend Coach Don Patterson and his courage to face radiation every day for six weeks.
Dr. Hudson came to the hospital yesterday and cleared me to leave. As the veterans of hospital stays know, for cancer or anything else, that just begins the lengthy process of getting home. As he was examining the four scars on my belly and talking about how pleased he was with the surgery he said, 'Oh, by the way, your MRI was clear." One of the great deadpan lines I have every received. "Oh, by the way..." There was an audible gasp in the room from the children. It doesn't mean melanoma won't try to get there, but it ain't there now. Praise God. Some good news. I wish you knew his daughter and Dr. Hudson, because this would be even more funny, but he followed the MRI understated announcement with something like, "There is a piece of your brain missing, which has explained a lot to those of us who know you." Wow! He smiled the smile of a truly smart person who has scored a humorous remark with someone who tries to make them all the time.
I got home, among my family, pets, Grandma, and thought, "This is one of the good times." Cancer is instructive, and when you are on a full liquid diet, yogurt is amazing, ice cream a primordial experience, and your own pillow a place of royalty upon which to lay your head. My next appointments are to see Dr. Hudson on Tuesday, Dr. Taylor and Dr. Vetto at Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland on Wednesday and Thursday, and then a PET Scan, (of me, not Callie) on Friday next week. In between, just wonderful rest filled time with the simple realization that its the little things of being free that are so beautiful and that we take for granted until something happens to take them away. I always thought I appreciated my life, my friends, my family, my faith, and lived in the moment. Now each tiny event is seen the way a child sees a butterfly, a firefly, or a hummingbird. With amazement and thanks, grace and gratitude.
There are good days & bad days. Most of the time we get to choose which of these monikers we put on our days. I wish I was a good enough teacher to teach you how precious you are, how amazing this day you are living in is, and to take time to see each tiny thing as a miracle. While I heal, that's what I am trying to figure out how to do. Look around today in your life. It will astound you. I don't want you to have to get cancer to be able to see what I am seeing. You are smarter than me!
Blessings, and love!
Sunday, July 27, 2014
A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood
Today was a beautiful day in Corvallis. Clear blue skies, warm temperatures, and a slight breeze. I was able to spend a little time in the garden with Hannah staking up the green beans and the English cucumbers. Sami, her husband Steve, and JJ had two softball games today in city league and won both. Christa and her husband Brandon took a day at home with my grandchildren Addie and Harvey to rest and relax. Grandma made enchiladas for everyone.
And Donna? She worked all day on our taxes and when she wasn't helping one of the children with moving, or picking things up, or getting ready for the school year, she was working on my notebook which now contains all of my doctor information, test results, diagnosis, future appointments, insurance and other numbers, and my health directive. My blog tonight is dedicated to her. The hardest working woman in America.
We haven't had a Hallmark Channel story book marriage. We have worked hard and worked through things. We've made it work. I am not the easiest person in the world to live with. Through everything that has happened...my parents sickness and death, her step dad and birth dad's passing, four premature births, and dealing with my elderly family members in daily care...she just simply stepped up. Facing my first surgery tomorrow to remove a small intestine blocking tumor, she worked to make sure we had all the information filled out, pre-registered, and has a list of questions she intends to ask my doctors tomorrow to push the treatment schedule up to its quickest pace.
I remember walking down the hallway in my home when my Mother was living and seeing Donna on the bedroom floor cutting my Mother's toenails. I hadn't given that one thought. She changed my Uncle Jerome, visited my Cousin Bruce, listened to my Aunt Mary, helped take care of her Dad when he passed, gave her heart and soul to Corvallis High School students, then took a break to give blood.
The first time I saw her she was dressed as Pippy Long Stockings at Whittier College and she was on roller skates. Somehow I could not get her out of my mind. She was a great student, sang in the choir, and played intercollegiate tennis. She would only see me if I would go to the Library with her. That is probably why I finished my Master's degree. She stood by me during the ten year Ph.D. journey, and has raised four amazing, wonderful, caring, and loving children while I travelled and spoke.
With all the miles we have travelled, I remain thankful for the night she said she would marry me. I believe most men marry above their station in life. I am at the top of that list. Tomorrow begins what I have begun to call my 'negotiation' with cancer. All of you have helped me stay positive, keep my faith, and my hope for a long life. When Donna heard I had cancer, she just went to work. A relentless force for good and a person willing to put in the time to care and love.
Rob Durbin, a cancer survivor and friend, told me that there was a man at OHSU who was cleared to go home after treatment and asked if he could stay another week because there was nobody to come get him. So sad. And there's Donna, sitting in my room reading while I receive a six hour transfusion. Helping me do the liquid diet today so that Dr. Peter Hudson can get about his work tomorrow. Washing the sheets today because the form said to do that and reminding me to use the special soap to get ready for surgery. She is a force of nature and everyone who knows her is better for knowing her.
She will run with Sami getting ready for the Hood To Coast running race at 5 a.m. tomorrow, then take time to stop and call me at 6:00 a.m. to make sure I am ready to checkin at 7:30 a.m. She'll take me to the hospital with some help from our children, make some calls during the surgery, and be there when I come out of recovery. I have never known a more selfless, hard working, stubborn, and caring person.
This I guess is a long way to go to say "I love you Donna." And I thank God you are in my corner. I am going to have to live a lot longer to show you how much you have meant to me. I never could pay you back but I can live to show you my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood because you made it that way.
Will
And Donna? She worked all day on our taxes and when she wasn't helping one of the children with moving, or picking things up, or getting ready for the school year, she was working on my notebook which now contains all of my doctor information, test results, diagnosis, future appointments, insurance and other numbers, and my health directive. My blog tonight is dedicated to her. The hardest working woman in America.
We haven't had a Hallmark Channel story book marriage. We have worked hard and worked through things. We've made it work. I am not the easiest person in the world to live with. Through everything that has happened...my parents sickness and death, her step dad and birth dad's passing, four premature births, and dealing with my elderly family members in daily care...she just simply stepped up. Facing my first surgery tomorrow to remove a small intestine blocking tumor, she worked to make sure we had all the information filled out, pre-registered, and has a list of questions she intends to ask my doctors tomorrow to push the treatment schedule up to its quickest pace.
I remember walking down the hallway in my home when my Mother was living and seeing Donna on the bedroom floor cutting my Mother's toenails. I hadn't given that one thought. She changed my Uncle Jerome, visited my Cousin Bruce, listened to my Aunt Mary, helped take care of her Dad when he passed, gave her heart and soul to Corvallis High School students, then took a break to give blood.
The first time I saw her she was dressed as Pippy Long Stockings at Whittier College and she was on roller skates. Somehow I could not get her out of my mind. She was a great student, sang in the choir, and played intercollegiate tennis. She would only see me if I would go to the Library with her. That is probably why I finished my Master's degree. She stood by me during the ten year Ph.D. journey, and has raised four amazing, wonderful, caring, and loving children while I travelled and spoke.
With all the miles we have travelled, I remain thankful for the night she said she would marry me. I believe most men marry above their station in life. I am at the top of that list. Tomorrow begins what I have begun to call my 'negotiation' with cancer. All of you have helped me stay positive, keep my faith, and my hope for a long life. When Donna heard I had cancer, she just went to work. A relentless force for good and a person willing to put in the time to care and love.
Rob Durbin, a cancer survivor and friend, told me that there was a man at OHSU who was cleared to go home after treatment and asked if he could stay another week because there was nobody to come get him. So sad. And there's Donna, sitting in my room reading while I receive a six hour transfusion. Helping me do the liquid diet today so that Dr. Peter Hudson can get about his work tomorrow. Washing the sheets today because the form said to do that and reminding me to use the special soap to get ready for surgery. She is a force of nature and everyone who knows her is better for knowing her.
She will run with Sami getting ready for the Hood To Coast running race at 5 a.m. tomorrow, then take time to stop and call me at 6:00 a.m. to make sure I am ready to checkin at 7:30 a.m. She'll take me to the hospital with some help from our children, make some calls during the surgery, and be there when I come out of recovery. I have never known a more selfless, hard working, stubborn, and caring person.
This I guess is a long way to go to say "I love you Donna." And I thank God you are in my corner. I am going to have to live a lot longer to show you how much you have meant to me. I never could pay you back but I can live to show you my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood because you made it that way.
Will
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Perspectives
Greetings! One need not look further for miracles than to realize that it rained in Oregon! We really needed it for the reservoirs, farmers, rivers, fish, and fires. Critics will say it wasn't enough. I'm a glass half full kind of guy which comes in handy, especially now! I wanted to share with you the schedule for the next couple of weeks as it stands now.
Th July 24 Dr. Wallen, Oncologist, Corvallis
M July 28 Dr. Hudson, Surgeon, Corvallis, small intestine blockage removal
W July 30 Dr. McGregor, Oncologist, Corvallis
W Aug 6 Dr. Taylor, Medical Oncologist, Oregon Health Sciences University, Portland
Th Aug 7 Dr. Vetto, Surgical Oncologist, Oregon Health Sciences University, Portland
It was once said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." That said and acknowledged, my 'plan' is to complete my presentation to the Oregon School Resources Officers August 4th and keep my August speaking schedule, with the Doctor's blessings of course. I am a 'realistic optimist' (see Malcolm Gladwell), so this Friday, with the help of my friend John Harris of Horsepower Productions, I will be filming my "Welcome To The Time Of Your Life" presentation for new students with separate campus specific introductions to be added individually. Just in case. I do not want to leave people hanging. My August schools have been supporting my message and my family for 30 years. My daughter Christa will be traveling with me and is so gifted that she will tackle anything I am having trouble with.
These are the details and schedule. I would now like to share some amazing things people told me over the last few days. I have decided not to name them as some of what they have shared might be misinterpreted because they know me so well and speak directly and honestly with me. I have received so much great advice, counsel, and wisdom as I begin this journey. I am thankful for each of you who have cared, written, prayed, or commented.
"The hardest day," wrote one friend in Oregon, "is the day you hear the word cancer. After that, it becomes part of your vocabulary and you will learn to use it and its associated words as you have all the other words you know." This was very helpful. Speaking it is difficult but essential to taking it on.
After an emotional few minutes on the phone, one friend from New York said, "Cancer? Don't you get enough attention?" This is really funny to me as an only child who has stood at podiums in front of millions. I laughed at this one till I cried. Some people will do anything to get attention. But cancer? I dish it out. I need to be able to take it. I loved this one! So East Coast!
A friend of a friend in California said, "When I was first diagnosed I looked up everything, but ultimately that's pretty depressing, and often misleading. The '20% this and 60% thats' don't really mean as much as I am just 100% me." Solid. He participated in a clinical study with the kind of cancer I apparently have and is five years down the road and golfing several times a week. Hope floats.
I have a friend who I have known for 25 years in Colorado. She is a three time cancer survivor and she wrote, "You may know that I have been diagnosed with cancer three times now. After eight years, four surgeries, six rounds of chemo and lots of healing modalities, I can confidently say this: Cancer is the most precious gift I have ever been given. It has helped me heal in so many ways, those patterns, beliefs, habits, thoughts, and even my very identity that were not serving me. I would never wear a F*ck cancer t-shirt or curse the darkness that it brought because it showed me the light. My faith and my new identity as a precious and divine child of God are a direct result of my three cancer diagnoses...So with that in mind, I want to say CONGRATULATIONS! You have cancer. Lucky bastard! I know so few people could hear this in the spirit in which it is intended, but I KNOW you can! I am in awe, as usual, by your amazing attitude just a few days after being diagnosed...I love you. I admire you. I and sending you and your family healing vibes."
My family and I are in the information gathering stage of the journey now and every insight and prayer shared moves us closer to my goal of being someone's miracle. It will be a combination of medicine, your support, our attitude, and the Holy Spirit that provides the possibility for survival. One student said, "You have inspired, cared for, and taken care of us. Now it's your turn to receive." Again and again, THANK YOU!
Y'all know I love softball. On and off for eight years I have had the privilege of coaching great young women. The mother of two of these rising stars is Dr. Connie Rodman. I name her today because she, not as an official member of my medical team, but as a concerned friend and softball Mom, has taken to advise me, make calls to OHSU, share her personal cancer story with me, and guide me in the chaos that follows, "You have cancer." Her guidance has been so very valuable to me, my peace of mind, and has provided me with solace, comfort, and helped me begin to formulate a plan, a response. She has a full time job as a doctor, wife, mother, and community servant. She has spent a lot of time mentoring me. It is another story from what I have called, "The Church of Softball." Thanks Connie!
Blessings to all of you. I will keep you posted. Think good thoughts.
Will
Th July 24 Dr. Wallen, Oncologist, Corvallis
M July 28 Dr. Hudson, Surgeon, Corvallis, small intestine blockage removal
W July 30 Dr. McGregor, Oncologist, Corvallis
W Aug 6 Dr. Taylor, Medical Oncologist, Oregon Health Sciences University, Portland
Th Aug 7 Dr. Vetto, Surgical Oncologist, Oregon Health Sciences University, Portland
It was once said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." That said and acknowledged, my 'plan' is to complete my presentation to the Oregon School Resources Officers August 4th and keep my August speaking schedule, with the Doctor's blessings of course. I am a 'realistic optimist' (see Malcolm Gladwell), so this Friday, with the help of my friend John Harris of Horsepower Productions, I will be filming my "Welcome To The Time Of Your Life" presentation for new students with separate campus specific introductions to be added individually. Just in case. I do not want to leave people hanging. My August schools have been supporting my message and my family for 30 years. My daughter Christa will be traveling with me and is so gifted that she will tackle anything I am having trouble with.
These are the details and schedule. I would now like to share some amazing things people told me over the last few days. I have decided not to name them as some of what they have shared might be misinterpreted because they know me so well and speak directly and honestly with me. I have received so much great advice, counsel, and wisdom as I begin this journey. I am thankful for each of you who have cared, written, prayed, or commented.
"The hardest day," wrote one friend in Oregon, "is the day you hear the word cancer. After that, it becomes part of your vocabulary and you will learn to use it and its associated words as you have all the other words you know." This was very helpful. Speaking it is difficult but essential to taking it on.
After an emotional few minutes on the phone, one friend from New York said, "Cancer? Don't you get enough attention?" This is really funny to me as an only child who has stood at podiums in front of millions. I laughed at this one till I cried. Some people will do anything to get attention. But cancer? I dish it out. I need to be able to take it. I loved this one! So East Coast!
A friend of a friend in California said, "When I was first diagnosed I looked up everything, but ultimately that's pretty depressing, and often misleading. The '20% this and 60% thats' don't really mean as much as I am just 100% me." Solid. He participated in a clinical study with the kind of cancer I apparently have and is five years down the road and golfing several times a week. Hope floats.
I have a friend who I have known for 25 years in Colorado. She is a three time cancer survivor and she wrote, "You may know that I have been diagnosed with cancer three times now. After eight years, four surgeries, six rounds of chemo and lots of healing modalities, I can confidently say this: Cancer is the most precious gift I have ever been given. It has helped me heal in so many ways, those patterns, beliefs, habits, thoughts, and even my very identity that were not serving me. I would never wear a F*ck cancer t-shirt or curse the darkness that it brought because it showed me the light. My faith and my new identity as a precious and divine child of God are a direct result of my three cancer diagnoses...So with that in mind, I want to say CONGRATULATIONS! You have cancer. Lucky bastard! I know so few people could hear this in the spirit in which it is intended, but I KNOW you can! I am in awe, as usual, by your amazing attitude just a few days after being diagnosed...I love you. I admire you. I and sending you and your family healing vibes."
My family and I are in the information gathering stage of the journey now and every insight and prayer shared moves us closer to my goal of being someone's miracle. It will be a combination of medicine, your support, our attitude, and the Holy Spirit that provides the possibility for survival. One student said, "You have inspired, cared for, and taken care of us. Now it's your turn to receive." Again and again, THANK YOU!
Y'all know I love softball. On and off for eight years I have had the privilege of coaching great young women. The mother of two of these rising stars is Dr. Connie Rodman. I name her today because she, not as an official member of my medical team, but as a concerned friend and softball Mom, has taken to advise me, make calls to OHSU, share her personal cancer story with me, and guide me in the chaos that follows, "You have cancer." Her guidance has been so very valuable to me, my peace of mind, and has provided me with solace, comfort, and helped me begin to formulate a plan, a response. She has a full time job as a doctor, wife, mother, and community servant. She has spent a lot of time mentoring me. It is another story from what I have called, "The Church of Softball." Thanks Connie!
Blessings to all of you. I will keep you posted. Think good thoughts.
Will
Monday, July 21, 2014
Lessons Taught & Learned
When I studied theology and philosophy in college and graduate school, I read books of wisdom from several traditions and perspectives. I remember, and have passed on, Kierkegaard's proposal that, "Death is the ultimate teacher." It should teach us to be present, he suggested, in each moment of each day. To not take time for granted or people for that matter. Marcus Borg illuminated the 'death denying' part of American culture where everything new is better, and we can all just stay young at least in the commercials.
As I have been spinning and running on my own self created treadmill - merry go round in life, I see clearly that the realization of my cancer is like a hand that has reached into my life, stop the spinning and the going around, and has said, "Listen. Learn. Pay attention. Focus." And even, "Be grateful." It is not like I was wasting a lot of time, but I was drifting, operating with a subconscious thought of no end in site, a pseudo immortality. I am not an expert. I have had cancer apparently for awhile and knowledge of it for just six days, but here is what I have learned so far.
1. People are amazing. Calls from old and out of touch friends. Current and former students. Folks in my own life that I did not know were cancer survivors offering their help and wisdom. The cancer club is a large fraternity.
2. Each moment is a miracle. I always knew that. I am now reminded of it often and loudly.
3. The word oncologist is much less scary when you have cancer than when you do not. I used to not look at the sign in the Corvallis Clinic when I was going to an appointment somewhere else. Now I await with hope my meetings this week with the oncology teams.
4. Prayer works. I have felt good this week and have felt lifted by the positive thoughts and petitions on my behalf. I am not saying I think it always equals a cure, but I am saying that it does lift the person's spirit who is being held up. So please, continue!
5. The hardest part so far is watching the impact of the dis-ease on the people around me, especially my children Christa, Sami, (their spouses Brandon and Steve as well) JJ, and Hannah. I have had what we have come to call an 'emotional interlude', aka crying session with each of them individually and I see now that cancer is a family and friends disease housed in one person but spilling doubt and fear into everyone's else's lives. Donna is a rock. She has always been the emotional stability in our family. She has cared for the hurting all her life. But the children. This is the part of cancer I hate the most right now. And I hate it with great passion!
Corvallis High School Principal Matt Boring told me that I had gotten a fence and scoreboard for the girls softball field from the Corvallis School District in one year, therefore I should be able to successfully battle cancer. University of Redlands Chaplain John Walsh said he would like to be in the room when I told cancer what I thought of it. Humor is therapeutic. Associate Athletic Director Henry Villegas of the University of New Mexico told me he could not wait until I was cured to hear my testimony. One survivor told me to write down one thing each day that I count as a blessing. I will share that list sometime soon.
My friend Rob Durbin, himself a survivor, told me today to "Let people help you." And I am and will.
I am much better being of assistance to you than I am receiving it, but as I told Rev. Clay Stauffer today on the phone from Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, my plan at this point is to be the miracle. And I cannot be the miracle without God, the Doctors, and you. I cannot control the physical parts of cancer, but I can control my attitude. It takes a hit at night but your continued thoughts, texts, emails, calls, and prayers help me at a time when I need it most. The joy truly is in giving, but no one gets to give unless someone receives. I am open for reception!
This week I will meet with surgical and medical oncologists. I will keep you posted. I also promise to pay attention to what is happening in me and around me and share this knowledge with you. I am a teacher, and teaching is what we do. But I am clearly also a student of real life experiences that have already put my learning on high alert. Blessings to you all and help me be hopeful by being hopeful yourselves. As John Belushi said in Animal House, "It wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. It's over when we say it's over."
Will Keim
As I have been spinning and running on my own self created treadmill - merry go round in life, I see clearly that the realization of my cancer is like a hand that has reached into my life, stop the spinning and the going around, and has said, "Listen. Learn. Pay attention. Focus." And even, "Be grateful." It is not like I was wasting a lot of time, but I was drifting, operating with a subconscious thought of no end in site, a pseudo immortality. I am not an expert. I have had cancer apparently for awhile and knowledge of it for just six days, but here is what I have learned so far.
1. People are amazing. Calls from old and out of touch friends. Current and former students. Folks in my own life that I did not know were cancer survivors offering their help and wisdom. The cancer club is a large fraternity.
2. Each moment is a miracle. I always knew that. I am now reminded of it often and loudly.
3. The word oncologist is much less scary when you have cancer than when you do not. I used to not look at the sign in the Corvallis Clinic when I was going to an appointment somewhere else. Now I await with hope my meetings this week with the oncology teams.
4. Prayer works. I have felt good this week and have felt lifted by the positive thoughts and petitions on my behalf. I am not saying I think it always equals a cure, but I am saying that it does lift the person's spirit who is being held up. So please, continue!
5. The hardest part so far is watching the impact of the dis-ease on the people around me, especially my children Christa, Sami, (their spouses Brandon and Steve as well) JJ, and Hannah. I have had what we have come to call an 'emotional interlude', aka crying session with each of them individually and I see now that cancer is a family and friends disease housed in one person but spilling doubt and fear into everyone's else's lives. Donna is a rock. She has always been the emotional stability in our family. She has cared for the hurting all her life. But the children. This is the part of cancer I hate the most right now. And I hate it with great passion!
Corvallis High School Principal Matt Boring told me that I had gotten a fence and scoreboard for the girls softball field from the Corvallis School District in one year, therefore I should be able to successfully battle cancer. University of Redlands Chaplain John Walsh said he would like to be in the room when I told cancer what I thought of it. Humor is therapeutic. Associate Athletic Director Henry Villegas of the University of New Mexico told me he could not wait until I was cured to hear my testimony. One survivor told me to write down one thing each day that I count as a blessing. I will share that list sometime soon.
My friend Rob Durbin, himself a survivor, told me today to "Let people help you." And I am and will.
I am much better being of assistance to you than I am receiving it, but as I told Rev. Clay Stauffer today on the phone from Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, my plan at this point is to be the miracle. And I cannot be the miracle without God, the Doctors, and you. I cannot control the physical parts of cancer, but I can control my attitude. It takes a hit at night but your continued thoughts, texts, emails, calls, and prayers help me at a time when I need it most. The joy truly is in giving, but no one gets to give unless someone receives. I am open for reception!
This week I will meet with surgical and medical oncologists. I will keep you posted. I also promise to pay attention to what is happening in me and around me and share this knowledge with you. I am a teacher, and teaching is what we do. But I am clearly also a student of real life experiences that have already put my learning on high alert. Blessings to you all and help me be hopeful by being hopeful yourselves. As John Belushi said in Animal House, "It wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. It's over when we say it's over."
Will Keim
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Family Photo
P.S. Donna took this picture of the group amusing ourselves with the design of our F Cancer t-shirts. I didn't want you to think I was making things up for this blog!
Will Keim
It Takes A Village
Greetings from Oregon. My children and I just returned from the garden where they helped me stake the beans, mow the weed volunteers, and check the tomatoes and potatoes. My Grandfather, Will Seward Keim (the first!) was oft to say, "When you have problems, put your hands in the earth." He farmed and gardened his whole life.
I have been overwhelmed by the mountain of support that has come in from all over the country. Close to 2,500 people have checked in and offered care, concern, condolence, love, and prayer. I assure you prayer and positive wishes work because my spirit has been truly buoyed by your words. I now have current and former students, the Texas Softball Team, the Linfield College Softball team, The Gymnastics Team at Alabama, The Nuns of St. Gertrudes, Yoopers from Michigan, a Medical School Dean, a Broadway singer, several cancer survivors including Rob Durbin, Lynnie Evans, Connie Rodman, and David Patterson, a Monsignor, the former Soprano from the New York Metropolitan Opera, and you praying and hoping for me. I've taken the liberty to amend the scripture to read, "If God and my friends be for me, who be against me?"
The cancer appears to be a melanoma, and I will be going up to the Knight Cancer Center at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland to meet with surgical and medical oncologists. Their motto is, "We fight cancer different. We win." I am hoping to see Dr. John Vetto who is an expert in melanoma and a surgical oncologist. I want to thank Dr. Rong Wang, Dr. Peter Hudson, and Dr. Connie Rodman for their care so far. While Phil Knight and his wife are often associated with University of Oregon athletics, his $100 million dollar gift to OHSU for cancer research and treatment are certainly appreciated by me at this time. A great example of a Duck showing some love for a Beaver in my case!
I appreciate every single view and response, and I wanted to share one phone response because it reflected on my first post. Dan Preston, Vice President of Enrollment Management at Sami's alma mater Linfield College said, "I'll tell you 'Why Not You.' The answer is you have too many lives left to be touched by you." I liked that. My daughters Christa, Sami, and Hannah lifted me this morning while we were anticipating Grandma Mary's great breakfast, designing, and pardon me, a myriad of "F**k Cancer" shirts online using all the creativity that they could muster. I am thinking of selecting the one with Jack Nicholson. Donna and I looked at each other with the look all parents know.;)
Please note that my humor is not in denial, but in full awareness that as the Buddhists say, "Where there is enough faith there will be enough darkness." Humor is my tool to be able to fall asleep at night and get up with hope. Blessings to you all. Thank you for caring. And at the risk of plagiarizing the great Lou Gehrig at his retirement in Yankee Stadium, "With my family and you my friends, I feel like the luckiest man in the world." It takes a village and the one I live in is filled with wonderful people.
Will Keim
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Why not me?
July 17, 2014
Dear Friends,
Greetings from smokin’ hot Oregon. Normally cool and green,
we have been over 90 degrees for a while and even hit 100! For those still
wrestling with the concept of ‘climate change’, it was 70 in Chicago yesterday.
With the encouragement of my family, I have decided to start
a blog, and the topic occasionally will be my reflections on my Doctor’s
statement to me yesterday that I have cancer. There is really no easy way to
say it, hear it, or share it, but Dr. Hudson was direct, empathic, and
brilliant in his explanation. It somehow helped that he is the Dad of one of
Christa’s very best friends.
As you know, I love gardening, and I spent some time before
the biopsy amongst my plants having a small pity party. I asked God to make
everything benign, and I told the Great Sprit that either way, it would not
shake my faith. The first question came from what I have for years described as
the Dark Voice Within, who asked, “Why me?” This voice also tells us we can’t
reach our goals, finish a Ph.D., find someone to love, or get the job of our
dreams. The most amazing answer came from within me from the Light, “Why not
me?” Which of you, my friends would I give this to instead of me? My
family? Children or Grandchildren? Even
my enemies, though few, should not hear the words or have the disease.
I am having a wonderful life, blessed with a wife who has
tolerated and loved me for 34 years, the most amazing children now adults, and
two grandchildren who have taught me that love is all we need, and each day, a blueberry, or Mr. Pez candy is
a miracle. My work has introduced me to professionals and students in every
state who have taught me much more that I have taught them. Part of my blog
will be introducing all of you to some tremendous people who are changing
lives, rebuilding lives, and are in fact real heroes to me.
So there you have it. I didn’t get cancer yesterday. I found
out I had it. I will find out what kind it is soon. I promise to let you know.
In the meantime, I am asking those of you who are spiritual to pray for me, and
all those with cancer and life threatening diseases. My secular friends? Think
good thoughts. Meditate on healing. There is a role for all of you in my
treatment and healing. And please pray in your own tradition…while I believe
there is one God for all of us, different traditions raise concerns in rich and
diverse ways, and I want to be covered!:)
Thank you for your concern, friendship, patience,
forgiveness, and love for and with me. We’ll talk soon. Enjoy today! Tell the
people you love that you love them, and forgive someone today that you’ve been
having trouble with. I love y’all!
Blessings,
Will Keim
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