One of the most consistent pieces of advice from cancer survivors and their families is that you will have good days and bad days. When you hear something over and over again from people you know and trust, then you tend to believe it. When I was in New Mexico speaking, four students in different conversations, asked me if I had seen the White Sands. I was thinking, "I'm originally from California, I have been to Hawaii and Long Island...I've seen white sand." But after the fourth student asked, I 'allowed' my host student to take me out there from Las Cruces.
It was stunning. So spiritual. White Sands indeed, but not hot to the touch despite the New Mexico sun. I took off my sandals and put my feet in the cool sand. The beautiful mountains to the West, as white as the sands of Whitehaven Beach on Whitsunday Island in Australia, I removed my shirt. My student host said, "Dr. Keim, are you going to remove any more clothing?" As a public service I generally keep my clothes on and answered, "No." New Mexico is the Land of Enchantment, and I remember my visits with the Henry and Glenda Villegas to Chimayo, the Immaculate Staircase, Old Mesilla, and Sante Fe with great reverence.
"You will have good days and bad days." Dr. Peter Hudson began the process with a Laparoscopic Small Bowel Resection and the removal of two skin lesions on my back on Monday. As mentioned before, he is the Father of one of my daughter Christa's best friends, Karen. A brilliant man and a great doctor. He is a 'just the facts' kind of guy and doesn't candy coat anything. I have a ton of respect for him. He had said he might get in, find a thousand sources of cancer, and close. He estimated the time of surgery to be around an hour. We began about 10 a.m. and he spent the next four and a half hours removing nine growths from my stomach area. Obviously this changed his day and mine. While recovering in the hospital, he arranged an MRI of my head. It was a painful recovery with interesting roommates and their families. I am sure the I'm no picnic either.
The second night, the sixth in the last 10 days I had spent in a hospital, I had what I can only describe as a panic attack. I'm the hand holder, not the holdee. I visit, I am not the visitor. All of you had said, "This is your time to receive.", but I was restless, could not sleep, and hatched wild escape plans in my head. Fortunately, Donna sense my panic and literally slept in a chair in the corner of the room. I honestly don't know what I would have done if she would have left. The pain was manageable, but the sense of being held hostage was overwhelming. I don't like me when I play victim even in my head by myself. The was the not so good bad part of the day. And by the way, if you have had an MRI of your head, my heart and respect go out to you. I thought of my dear friend Coach Don Patterson and his courage to face radiation every day for six weeks.
Dr. Hudson came to the hospital yesterday and cleared me to leave. As the veterans of hospital stays know, for cancer or anything else, that just begins the lengthy process of getting home. As he was examining the four scars on my belly and talking about how pleased he was with the surgery he said, 'Oh, by the way, your MRI was clear." One of the great deadpan lines I have every received. "Oh, by the way..." There was an audible gasp in the room from the children. It doesn't mean melanoma won't try to get there, but it ain't there now. Praise God. Some good news. I wish you knew his daughter and Dr. Hudson, because this would be even more funny, but he followed the MRI understated announcement with something like, "There is a piece of your brain missing, which has explained a lot to those of us who know you." Wow! He smiled the smile of a truly smart person who has scored a humorous remark with someone who tries to make them all the time.
I got home, among my family, pets, Grandma, and thought, "This is one of the good times." Cancer is instructive, and when you are on a full liquid diet, yogurt is amazing, ice cream a primordial experience, and your own pillow a place of royalty upon which to lay your head. My next appointments are to see Dr. Hudson on Tuesday, Dr. Taylor and Dr. Vetto at Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland on Wednesday and Thursday, and then a PET Scan, (of me, not Callie) on Friday next week. In between, just wonderful rest filled time with the simple realization that its the little things of being free that are so beautiful and that we take for granted until something happens to take them away. I always thought I appreciated my life, my friends, my family, my faith, and lived in the moment. Now each tiny event is seen the way a child sees a butterfly, a firefly, or a hummingbird. With amazement and thanks, grace and gratitude.
There are good days & bad days. Most of the time we get to choose which of these monikers we put on our days. I wish I was a good enough teacher to teach you how precious you are, how amazing this day you are living in is, and to take time to see each tiny thing as a miracle. While I heal, that's what I am trying to figure out how to do. Look around today in your life. It will astound you. I don't want you to have to get cancer to be able to see what I am seeing. You are smarter than me!
Blessings, and love!
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Sunday, July 27, 2014
A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood
Today was a beautiful day in Corvallis. Clear blue skies, warm temperatures, and a slight breeze. I was able to spend a little time in the garden with Hannah staking up the green beans and the English cucumbers. Sami, her husband Steve, and JJ had two softball games today in city league and won both. Christa and her husband Brandon took a day at home with my grandchildren Addie and Harvey to rest and relax. Grandma made enchiladas for everyone.
And Donna? She worked all day on our taxes and when she wasn't helping one of the children with moving, or picking things up, or getting ready for the school year, she was working on my notebook which now contains all of my doctor information, test results, diagnosis, future appointments, insurance and other numbers, and my health directive. My blog tonight is dedicated to her. The hardest working woman in America.
We haven't had a Hallmark Channel story book marriage. We have worked hard and worked through things. We've made it work. I am not the easiest person in the world to live with. Through everything that has happened...my parents sickness and death, her step dad and birth dad's passing, four premature births, and dealing with my elderly family members in daily care...she just simply stepped up. Facing my first surgery tomorrow to remove a small intestine blocking tumor, she worked to make sure we had all the information filled out, pre-registered, and has a list of questions she intends to ask my doctors tomorrow to push the treatment schedule up to its quickest pace.
I remember walking down the hallway in my home when my Mother was living and seeing Donna on the bedroom floor cutting my Mother's toenails. I hadn't given that one thought. She changed my Uncle Jerome, visited my Cousin Bruce, listened to my Aunt Mary, helped take care of her Dad when he passed, gave her heart and soul to Corvallis High School students, then took a break to give blood.
The first time I saw her she was dressed as Pippy Long Stockings at Whittier College and she was on roller skates. Somehow I could not get her out of my mind. She was a great student, sang in the choir, and played intercollegiate tennis. She would only see me if I would go to the Library with her. That is probably why I finished my Master's degree. She stood by me during the ten year Ph.D. journey, and has raised four amazing, wonderful, caring, and loving children while I travelled and spoke.
With all the miles we have travelled, I remain thankful for the night she said she would marry me. I believe most men marry above their station in life. I am at the top of that list. Tomorrow begins what I have begun to call my 'negotiation' with cancer. All of you have helped me stay positive, keep my faith, and my hope for a long life. When Donna heard I had cancer, she just went to work. A relentless force for good and a person willing to put in the time to care and love.
Rob Durbin, a cancer survivor and friend, told me that there was a man at OHSU who was cleared to go home after treatment and asked if he could stay another week because there was nobody to come get him. So sad. And there's Donna, sitting in my room reading while I receive a six hour transfusion. Helping me do the liquid diet today so that Dr. Peter Hudson can get about his work tomorrow. Washing the sheets today because the form said to do that and reminding me to use the special soap to get ready for surgery. She is a force of nature and everyone who knows her is better for knowing her.
She will run with Sami getting ready for the Hood To Coast running race at 5 a.m. tomorrow, then take time to stop and call me at 6:00 a.m. to make sure I am ready to checkin at 7:30 a.m. She'll take me to the hospital with some help from our children, make some calls during the surgery, and be there when I come out of recovery. I have never known a more selfless, hard working, stubborn, and caring person.
This I guess is a long way to go to say "I love you Donna." And I thank God you are in my corner. I am going to have to live a lot longer to show you how much you have meant to me. I never could pay you back but I can live to show you my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood because you made it that way.
Will
And Donna? She worked all day on our taxes and when she wasn't helping one of the children with moving, or picking things up, or getting ready for the school year, she was working on my notebook which now contains all of my doctor information, test results, diagnosis, future appointments, insurance and other numbers, and my health directive. My blog tonight is dedicated to her. The hardest working woman in America.
We haven't had a Hallmark Channel story book marriage. We have worked hard and worked through things. We've made it work. I am not the easiest person in the world to live with. Through everything that has happened...my parents sickness and death, her step dad and birth dad's passing, four premature births, and dealing with my elderly family members in daily care...she just simply stepped up. Facing my first surgery tomorrow to remove a small intestine blocking tumor, she worked to make sure we had all the information filled out, pre-registered, and has a list of questions she intends to ask my doctors tomorrow to push the treatment schedule up to its quickest pace.
I remember walking down the hallway in my home when my Mother was living and seeing Donna on the bedroom floor cutting my Mother's toenails. I hadn't given that one thought. She changed my Uncle Jerome, visited my Cousin Bruce, listened to my Aunt Mary, helped take care of her Dad when he passed, gave her heart and soul to Corvallis High School students, then took a break to give blood.
The first time I saw her she was dressed as Pippy Long Stockings at Whittier College and she was on roller skates. Somehow I could not get her out of my mind. She was a great student, sang in the choir, and played intercollegiate tennis. She would only see me if I would go to the Library with her. That is probably why I finished my Master's degree. She stood by me during the ten year Ph.D. journey, and has raised four amazing, wonderful, caring, and loving children while I travelled and spoke.
With all the miles we have travelled, I remain thankful for the night she said she would marry me. I believe most men marry above their station in life. I am at the top of that list. Tomorrow begins what I have begun to call my 'negotiation' with cancer. All of you have helped me stay positive, keep my faith, and my hope for a long life. When Donna heard I had cancer, she just went to work. A relentless force for good and a person willing to put in the time to care and love.
Rob Durbin, a cancer survivor and friend, told me that there was a man at OHSU who was cleared to go home after treatment and asked if he could stay another week because there was nobody to come get him. So sad. And there's Donna, sitting in my room reading while I receive a six hour transfusion. Helping me do the liquid diet today so that Dr. Peter Hudson can get about his work tomorrow. Washing the sheets today because the form said to do that and reminding me to use the special soap to get ready for surgery. She is a force of nature and everyone who knows her is better for knowing her.
She will run with Sami getting ready for the Hood To Coast running race at 5 a.m. tomorrow, then take time to stop and call me at 6:00 a.m. to make sure I am ready to checkin at 7:30 a.m. She'll take me to the hospital with some help from our children, make some calls during the surgery, and be there when I come out of recovery. I have never known a more selfless, hard working, stubborn, and caring person.
This I guess is a long way to go to say "I love you Donna." And I thank God you are in my corner. I am going to have to live a lot longer to show you how much you have meant to me. I never could pay you back but I can live to show you my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood because you made it that way.
Will
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Perspectives
Greetings! One need not look further for miracles than to realize that it rained in Oregon! We really needed it for the reservoirs, farmers, rivers, fish, and fires. Critics will say it wasn't enough. I'm a glass half full kind of guy which comes in handy, especially now! I wanted to share with you the schedule for the next couple of weeks as it stands now.
Th July 24 Dr. Wallen, Oncologist, Corvallis
M July 28 Dr. Hudson, Surgeon, Corvallis, small intestine blockage removal
W July 30 Dr. McGregor, Oncologist, Corvallis
W Aug 6 Dr. Taylor, Medical Oncologist, Oregon Health Sciences University, Portland
Th Aug 7 Dr. Vetto, Surgical Oncologist, Oregon Health Sciences University, Portland
It was once said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." That said and acknowledged, my 'plan' is to complete my presentation to the Oregon School Resources Officers August 4th and keep my August speaking schedule, with the Doctor's blessings of course. I am a 'realistic optimist' (see Malcolm Gladwell), so this Friday, with the help of my friend John Harris of Horsepower Productions, I will be filming my "Welcome To The Time Of Your Life" presentation for new students with separate campus specific introductions to be added individually. Just in case. I do not want to leave people hanging. My August schools have been supporting my message and my family for 30 years. My daughter Christa will be traveling with me and is so gifted that she will tackle anything I am having trouble with.
These are the details and schedule. I would now like to share some amazing things people told me over the last few days. I have decided not to name them as some of what they have shared might be misinterpreted because they know me so well and speak directly and honestly with me. I have received so much great advice, counsel, and wisdom as I begin this journey. I am thankful for each of you who have cared, written, prayed, or commented.
"The hardest day," wrote one friend in Oregon, "is the day you hear the word cancer. After that, it becomes part of your vocabulary and you will learn to use it and its associated words as you have all the other words you know." This was very helpful. Speaking it is difficult but essential to taking it on.
After an emotional few minutes on the phone, one friend from New York said, "Cancer? Don't you get enough attention?" This is really funny to me as an only child who has stood at podiums in front of millions. I laughed at this one till I cried. Some people will do anything to get attention. But cancer? I dish it out. I need to be able to take it. I loved this one! So East Coast!
A friend of a friend in California said, "When I was first diagnosed I looked up everything, but ultimately that's pretty depressing, and often misleading. The '20% this and 60% thats' don't really mean as much as I am just 100% me." Solid. He participated in a clinical study with the kind of cancer I apparently have and is five years down the road and golfing several times a week. Hope floats.
I have a friend who I have known for 25 years in Colorado. She is a three time cancer survivor and she wrote, "You may know that I have been diagnosed with cancer three times now. After eight years, four surgeries, six rounds of chemo and lots of healing modalities, I can confidently say this: Cancer is the most precious gift I have ever been given. It has helped me heal in so many ways, those patterns, beliefs, habits, thoughts, and even my very identity that were not serving me. I would never wear a F*ck cancer t-shirt or curse the darkness that it brought because it showed me the light. My faith and my new identity as a precious and divine child of God are a direct result of my three cancer diagnoses...So with that in mind, I want to say CONGRATULATIONS! You have cancer. Lucky bastard! I know so few people could hear this in the spirit in which it is intended, but I KNOW you can! I am in awe, as usual, by your amazing attitude just a few days after being diagnosed...I love you. I admire you. I and sending you and your family healing vibes."
My family and I are in the information gathering stage of the journey now and every insight and prayer shared moves us closer to my goal of being someone's miracle. It will be a combination of medicine, your support, our attitude, and the Holy Spirit that provides the possibility for survival. One student said, "You have inspired, cared for, and taken care of us. Now it's your turn to receive." Again and again, THANK YOU!
Y'all know I love softball. On and off for eight years I have had the privilege of coaching great young women. The mother of two of these rising stars is Dr. Connie Rodman. I name her today because she, not as an official member of my medical team, but as a concerned friend and softball Mom, has taken to advise me, make calls to OHSU, share her personal cancer story with me, and guide me in the chaos that follows, "You have cancer." Her guidance has been so very valuable to me, my peace of mind, and has provided me with solace, comfort, and helped me begin to formulate a plan, a response. She has a full time job as a doctor, wife, mother, and community servant. She has spent a lot of time mentoring me. It is another story from what I have called, "The Church of Softball." Thanks Connie!
Blessings to all of you. I will keep you posted. Think good thoughts.
Will
Th July 24 Dr. Wallen, Oncologist, Corvallis
M July 28 Dr. Hudson, Surgeon, Corvallis, small intestine blockage removal
W July 30 Dr. McGregor, Oncologist, Corvallis
W Aug 6 Dr. Taylor, Medical Oncologist, Oregon Health Sciences University, Portland
Th Aug 7 Dr. Vetto, Surgical Oncologist, Oregon Health Sciences University, Portland
It was once said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." That said and acknowledged, my 'plan' is to complete my presentation to the Oregon School Resources Officers August 4th and keep my August speaking schedule, with the Doctor's blessings of course. I am a 'realistic optimist' (see Malcolm Gladwell), so this Friday, with the help of my friend John Harris of Horsepower Productions, I will be filming my "Welcome To The Time Of Your Life" presentation for new students with separate campus specific introductions to be added individually. Just in case. I do not want to leave people hanging. My August schools have been supporting my message and my family for 30 years. My daughter Christa will be traveling with me and is so gifted that she will tackle anything I am having trouble with.
These are the details and schedule. I would now like to share some amazing things people told me over the last few days. I have decided not to name them as some of what they have shared might be misinterpreted because they know me so well and speak directly and honestly with me. I have received so much great advice, counsel, and wisdom as I begin this journey. I am thankful for each of you who have cared, written, prayed, or commented.
"The hardest day," wrote one friend in Oregon, "is the day you hear the word cancer. After that, it becomes part of your vocabulary and you will learn to use it and its associated words as you have all the other words you know." This was very helpful. Speaking it is difficult but essential to taking it on.
After an emotional few minutes on the phone, one friend from New York said, "Cancer? Don't you get enough attention?" This is really funny to me as an only child who has stood at podiums in front of millions. I laughed at this one till I cried. Some people will do anything to get attention. But cancer? I dish it out. I need to be able to take it. I loved this one! So East Coast!
A friend of a friend in California said, "When I was first diagnosed I looked up everything, but ultimately that's pretty depressing, and often misleading. The '20% this and 60% thats' don't really mean as much as I am just 100% me." Solid. He participated in a clinical study with the kind of cancer I apparently have and is five years down the road and golfing several times a week. Hope floats.
I have a friend who I have known for 25 years in Colorado. She is a three time cancer survivor and she wrote, "You may know that I have been diagnosed with cancer three times now. After eight years, four surgeries, six rounds of chemo and lots of healing modalities, I can confidently say this: Cancer is the most precious gift I have ever been given. It has helped me heal in so many ways, those patterns, beliefs, habits, thoughts, and even my very identity that were not serving me. I would never wear a F*ck cancer t-shirt or curse the darkness that it brought because it showed me the light. My faith and my new identity as a precious and divine child of God are a direct result of my three cancer diagnoses...So with that in mind, I want to say CONGRATULATIONS! You have cancer. Lucky bastard! I know so few people could hear this in the spirit in which it is intended, but I KNOW you can! I am in awe, as usual, by your amazing attitude just a few days after being diagnosed...I love you. I admire you. I and sending you and your family healing vibes."
My family and I are in the information gathering stage of the journey now and every insight and prayer shared moves us closer to my goal of being someone's miracle. It will be a combination of medicine, your support, our attitude, and the Holy Spirit that provides the possibility for survival. One student said, "You have inspired, cared for, and taken care of us. Now it's your turn to receive." Again and again, THANK YOU!
Y'all know I love softball. On and off for eight years I have had the privilege of coaching great young women. The mother of two of these rising stars is Dr. Connie Rodman. I name her today because she, not as an official member of my medical team, but as a concerned friend and softball Mom, has taken to advise me, make calls to OHSU, share her personal cancer story with me, and guide me in the chaos that follows, "You have cancer." Her guidance has been so very valuable to me, my peace of mind, and has provided me with solace, comfort, and helped me begin to formulate a plan, a response. She has a full time job as a doctor, wife, mother, and community servant. She has spent a lot of time mentoring me. It is another story from what I have called, "The Church of Softball." Thanks Connie!
Blessings to all of you. I will keep you posted. Think good thoughts.
Will
Monday, July 21, 2014
Lessons Taught & Learned
When I studied theology and philosophy in college and graduate school, I read books of wisdom from several traditions and perspectives. I remember, and have passed on, Kierkegaard's proposal that, "Death is the ultimate teacher." It should teach us to be present, he suggested, in each moment of each day. To not take time for granted or people for that matter. Marcus Borg illuminated the 'death denying' part of American culture where everything new is better, and we can all just stay young at least in the commercials.
As I have been spinning and running on my own self created treadmill - merry go round in life, I see clearly that the realization of my cancer is like a hand that has reached into my life, stop the spinning and the going around, and has said, "Listen. Learn. Pay attention. Focus." And even, "Be grateful." It is not like I was wasting a lot of time, but I was drifting, operating with a subconscious thought of no end in site, a pseudo immortality. I am not an expert. I have had cancer apparently for awhile and knowledge of it for just six days, but here is what I have learned so far.
1. People are amazing. Calls from old and out of touch friends. Current and former students. Folks in my own life that I did not know were cancer survivors offering their help and wisdom. The cancer club is a large fraternity.
2. Each moment is a miracle. I always knew that. I am now reminded of it often and loudly.
3. The word oncologist is much less scary when you have cancer than when you do not. I used to not look at the sign in the Corvallis Clinic when I was going to an appointment somewhere else. Now I await with hope my meetings this week with the oncology teams.
4. Prayer works. I have felt good this week and have felt lifted by the positive thoughts and petitions on my behalf. I am not saying I think it always equals a cure, but I am saying that it does lift the person's spirit who is being held up. So please, continue!
5. The hardest part so far is watching the impact of the dis-ease on the people around me, especially my children Christa, Sami, (their spouses Brandon and Steve as well) JJ, and Hannah. I have had what we have come to call an 'emotional interlude', aka crying session with each of them individually and I see now that cancer is a family and friends disease housed in one person but spilling doubt and fear into everyone's else's lives. Donna is a rock. She has always been the emotional stability in our family. She has cared for the hurting all her life. But the children. This is the part of cancer I hate the most right now. And I hate it with great passion!
Corvallis High School Principal Matt Boring told me that I had gotten a fence and scoreboard for the girls softball field from the Corvallis School District in one year, therefore I should be able to successfully battle cancer. University of Redlands Chaplain John Walsh said he would like to be in the room when I told cancer what I thought of it. Humor is therapeutic. Associate Athletic Director Henry Villegas of the University of New Mexico told me he could not wait until I was cured to hear my testimony. One survivor told me to write down one thing each day that I count as a blessing. I will share that list sometime soon.
My friend Rob Durbin, himself a survivor, told me today to "Let people help you." And I am and will.
I am much better being of assistance to you than I am receiving it, but as I told Rev. Clay Stauffer today on the phone from Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, my plan at this point is to be the miracle. And I cannot be the miracle without God, the Doctors, and you. I cannot control the physical parts of cancer, but I can control my attitude. It takes a hit at night but your continued thoughts, texts, emails, calls, and prayers help me at a time when I need it most. The joy truly is in giving, but no one gets to give unless someone receives. I am open for reception!
This week I will meet with surgical and medical oncologists. I will keep you posted. I also promise to pay attention to what is happening in me and around me and share this knowledge with you. I am a teacher, and teaching is what we do. But I am clearly also a student of real life experiences that have already put my learning on high alert. Blessings to you all and help me be hopeful by being hopeful yourselves. As John Belushi said in Animal House, "It wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. It's over when we say it's over."
Will Keim
As I have been spinning and running on my own self created treadmill - merry go round in life, I see clearly that the realization of my cancer is like a hand that has reached into my life, stop the spinning and the going around, and has said, "Listen. Learn. Pay attention. Focus." And even, "Be grateful." It is not like I was wasting a lot of time, but I was drifting, operating with a subconscious thought of no end in site, a pseudo immortality. I am not an expert. I have had cancer apparently for awhile and knowledge of it for just six days, but here is what I have learned so far.
1. People are amazing. Calls from old and out of touch friends. Current and former students. Folks in my own life that I did not know were cancer survivors offering their help and wisdom. The cancer club is a large fraternity.
2. Each moment is a miracle. I always knew that. I am now reminded of it often and loudly.
3. The word oncologist is much less scary when you have cancer than when you do not. I used to not look at the sign in the Corvallis Clinic when I was going to an appointment somewhere else. Now I await with hope my meetings this week with the oncology teams.
4. Prayer works. I have felt good this week and have felt lifted by the positive thoughts and petitions on my behalf. I am not saying I think it always equals a cure, but I am saying that it does lift the person's spirit who is being held up. So please, continue!
5. The hardest part so far is watching the impact of the dis-ease on the people around me, especially my children Christa, Sami, (their spouses Brandon and Steve as well) JJ, and Hannah. I have had what we have come to call an 'emotional interlude', aka crying session with each of them individually and I see now that cancer is a family and friends disease housed in one person but spilling doubt and fear into everyone's else's lives. Donna is a rock. She has always been the emotional stability in our family. She has cared for the hurting all her life. But the children. This is the part of cancer I hate the most right now. And I hate it with great passion!
Corvallis High School Principal Matt Boring told me that I had gotten a fence and scoreboard for the girls softball field from the Corvallis School District in one year, therefore I should be able to successfully battle cancer. University of Redlands Chaplain John Walsh said he would like to be in the room when I told cancer what I thought of it. Humor is therapeutic. Associate Athletic Director Henry Villegas of the University of New Mexico told me he could not wait until I was cured to hear my testimony. One survivor told me to write down one thing each day that I count as a blessing. I will share that list sometime soon.
My friend Rob Durbin, himself a survivor, told me today to "Let people help you." And I am and will.
I am much better being of assistance to you than I am receiving it, but as I told Rev. Clay Stauffer today on the phone from Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, my plan at this point is to be the miracle. And I cannot be the miracle without God, the Doctors, and you. I cannot control the physical parts of cancer, but I can control my attitude. It takes a hit at night but your continued thoughts, texts, emails, calls, and prayers help me at a time when I need it most. The joy truly is in giving, but no one gets to give unless someone receives. I am open for reception!
This week I will meet with surgical and medical oncologists. I will keep you posted. I also promise to pay attention to what is happening in me and around me and share this knowledge with you. I am a teacher, and teaching is what we do. But I am clearly also a student of real life experiences that have already put my learning on high alert. Blessings to you all and help me be hopeful by being hopeful yourselves. As John Belushi said in Animal House, "It wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. It's over when we say it's over."
Will Keim
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Family Photo
P.S. Donna took this picture of the group amusing ourselves with the design of our F Cancer t-shirts. I didn't want you to think I was making things up for this blog!
Will Keim
It Takes A Village
Greetings from Oregon. My children and I just returned from the garden where they helped me stake the beans, mow the weed volunteers, and check the tomatoes and potatoes. My Grandfather, Will Seward Keim (the first!) was oft to say, "When you have problems, put your hands in the earth." He farmed and gardened his whole life.
I have been overwhelmed by the mountain of support that has come in from all over the country. Close to 2,500 people have checked in and offered care, concern, condolence, love, and prayer. I assure you prayer and positive wishes work because my spirit has been truly buoyed by your words. I now have current and former students, the Texas Softball Team, the Linfield College Softball team, The Gymnastics Team at Alabama, The Nuns of St. Gertrudes, Yoopers from Michigan, a Medical School Dean, a Broadway singer, several cancer survivors including Rob Durbin, Lynnie Evans, Connie Rodman, and David Patterson, a Monsignor, the former Soprano from the New York Metropolitan Opera, and you praying and hoping for me. I've taken the liberty to amend the scripture to read, "If God and my friends be for me, who be against me?"
The cancer appears to be a melanoma, and I will be going up to the Knight Cancer Center at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland to meet with surgical and medical oncologists. Their motto is, "We fight cancer different. We win." I am hoping to see Dr. John Vetto who is an expert in melanoma and a surgical oncologist. I want to thank Dr. Rong Wang, Dr. Peter Hudson, and Dr. Connie Rodman for their care so far. While Phil Knight and his wife are often associated with University of Oregon athletics, his $100 million dollar gift to OHSU for cancer research and treatment are certainly appreciated by me at this time. A great example of a Duck showing some love for a Beaver in my case!
I appreciate every single view and response, and I wanted to share one phone response because it reflected on my first post. Dan Preston, Vice President of Enrollment Management at Sami's alma mater Linfield College said, "I'll tell you 'Why Not You.' The answer is you have too many lives left to be touched by you." I liked that. My daughters Christa, Sami, and Hannah lifted me this morning while we were anticipating Grandma Mary's great breakfast, designing, and pardon me, a myriad of "F**k Cancer" shirts online using all the creativity that they could muster. I am thinking of selecting the one with Jack Nicholson. Donna and I looked at each other with the look all parents know.;)
Please note that my humor is not in denial, but in full awareness that as the Buddhists say, "Where there is enough faith there will be enough darkness." Humor is my tool to be able to fall asleep at night and get up with hope. Blessings to you all. Thank you for caring. And at the risk of plagiarizing the great Lou Gehrig at his retirement in Yankee Stadium, "With my family and you my friends, I feel like the luckiest man in the world." It takes a village and the one I live in is filled with wonderful people.
Will Keim
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Why not me?
July 17, 2014
Dear Friends,
Greetings from smokin’ hot Oregon. Normally cool and green,
we have been over 90 degrees for a while and even hit 100! For those still
wrestling with the concept of ‘climate change’, it was 70 in Chicago yesterday.
With the encouragement of my family, I have decided to start
a blog, and the topic occasionally will be my reflections on my Doctor’s
statement to me yesterday that I have cancer. There is really no easy way to
say it, hear it, or share it, but Dr. Hudson was direct, empathic, and
brilliant in his explanation. It somehow helped that he is the Dad of one of
Christa’s very best friends.
As you know, I love gardening, and I spent some time before
the biopsy amongst my plants having a small pity party. I asked God to make
everything benign, and I told the Great Sprit that either way, it would not
shake my faith. The first question came from what I have for years described as
the Dark Voice Within, who asked, “Why me?” This voice also tells us we can’t
reach our goals, finish a Ph.D., find someone to love, or get the job of our
dreams. The most amazing answer came from within me from the Light, “Why not
me?” Which of you, my friends would I give this to instead of me? My
family? Children or Grandchildren? Even
my enemies, though few, should not hear the words or have the disease.
I am having a wonderful life, blessed with a wife who has
tolerated and loved me for 34 years, the most amazing children now adults, and
two grandchildren who have taught me that love is all we need, and each day, a blueberry, or Mr. Pez candy is
a miracle. My work has introduced me to professionals and students in every
state who have taught me much more that I have taught them. Part of my blog
will be introducing all of you to some tremendous people who are changing
lives, rebuilding lives, and are in fact real heroes to me.
So there you have it. I didn’t get cancer yesterday. I found
out I had it. I will find out what kind it is soon. I promise to let you know.
In the meantime, I am asking those of you who are spiritual to pray for me, and
all those with cancer and life threatening diseases. My secular friends? Think
good thoughts. Meditate on healing. There is a role for all of you in my
treatment and healing. And please pray in your own tradition…while I believe
there is one God for all of us, different traditions raise concerns in rich and
diverse ways, and I want to be covered!:)
Thank you for your concern, friendship, patience,
forgiveness, and love for and with me. We’ll talk soon. Enjoy today! Tell the
people you love that you love them, and forgive someone today that you’ve been
having trouble with. I love y’all!
Blessings,
Will Keim
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