Dear Friends,
Donna and I are in between speeches today at the University of Redlands and California State University, San Bernardino. Many parents today extended amazing acts of kindness to me after I spoke to them in the Chapel.
One man handed me a note that read, "God will work with you on your cancer-either work through it or remove it all together-all depending on your faith." Another dear man said, "I've just been diagnosed." An African American Baptist Minister and his wife told me not only would they be praying for me, but I would be on their prayer list at Church. A Mom said, "I work at a Jesuit school and we will all be praying for you and thinking good thoughts." I met another Mother who went to school with me at the University of The Pacific and was there for her daughter's orientation. We had a brief but meaningful catch-up. A woman who identified herself as a healer told me that she had felt such strong movements of healing for me spiritually and great love that she needed to tell me to keep believing and then hugged me to pass on the healing.
As the last well wishers left the Chapel, a woman approached me and said, "This is the fifth child I have dropped off for college. I have grandchildren in college. I wasn't going to come today but I read that the Chapel was air conditioned. So I came for the comfort. I am so glad I came and heard you." She then took off a small medallion she was wearing and said, "Mother Theresa gave this to me for my work with the Sisters of Charity and the children. I want you to have it." I said, "You should keep that. It is so meaningful." She said, "No. I want you to have it. I hope it doesn't offend you." I could barely keep from crying. I thanked her with all my heart and she took my hand, then left.
Could we ever find a way to be this kind, compassionate, and loving with each other without a dis-ease or a crisis? The love of those parents and the hundreds of others who came up lifted me up and gave me strength and courage to hope, to trust, and to love them back. You would do me a real solid today if you told somebody that you loved them. It would likely come right back at you!
With love,
Will
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Grace, Gratitude, and Healing
Dear Friends,
Donna and I are in Southern California at the Mission Inn in Riverside speaking at California State University, San Bernardino, and then at The University of Redlands. This will be my 35th speaking year at Redlands. It was my first University event and they have really stuck with me! I spoke to Mark Hartley who is bringing me to CSUSB when he was a freshman in 1989. Watching him grow from a complete first year into a seasoned professional, husband, and father has been one of the great joys of my life! Special thanks as well to Vice President Char Burgess, Dean Robles, and Val Sponheim for bringing me back to Redlands again and again. I will always think of Char as 'The Dean' because along with Dean Bruce Pittman of Idaho, they defined the role for me in my mind as a then young professional.
Donna and I had dinner last night with Ilaria Pesco, formally of Redlands and most recently of Semester at Sea, and breakfast with Dr. Michael Finley of Western Health Sciences University here at the Inn. As Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton sing in their most recent song together, "You just can't make old friends." They are either there or they are not! Ilaria, incidentally, is looking for employment in higher education and she carries my "A+" rating. A wonderful professional at Redlands for 17 years under Dean Burgess' tutelage and as a colleague of Neal Pahia, she now brings the wealth and depth of A Semester at Sea with her in her skill set. Dr. Micheal Finley is an SAE who was instrumental in bringing the first medical school to Oregon in over 100 years with the new school in Lebanon, Oregon. We have been brothers for 20 years and he made a special trip out to the Inland Empire before work today to say hello and check on me. After the discovery of my dis-ease, I have been overwhelmed with calls, cards, and social media contacts from old friends and new. Educators do not get rich except in memories and experiences. I was contacted this week by Kelly (Brown) Doucet who sat in the front row of Church during Campus Ministry at OSU every Sunday. She was dropping her daughter off for college orientation in Corvallis and wanted to say hello. I will see her when she comes back for the first of the year. If she is old enough to have a college daughter, then I must be older too!
Do you remember in an earlier blog when I said that I did not get cancer on July 16th? I just found out about it then? I had been living with it for some time. I was thinking about that one day last week when I was feeling pretty close to my old self. Energy returning, looking forward to the future, engaged with students in my lectures. Then it hit me...healing is a process like cancer. When I pray to God to heal me through the physicians and the medicine and through the Spirit, it is not like that is off in some far away time. If I believe in what I am saying to God, in God, and in the power of the Spirit to do the impossible, then it begins to happen when I say it. "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you." A central teaching and parable of Jesus who backed it up with sight for the blind, mobility for the lame, and even life for Lazarus. For as C.S. Lewis said in "Mere Christianity", either Jesus is who he said he was or he is the greatest maniac in the history of the world. I respect every person's right to believe what they want. I think that is the American way at its best. It also fits well under some other important teachings of Jesus like, "Don't judge others or you will receive the same judgement." "Love God, and love your neighbor as you love yourself." These are inclusive teachings that build community between different people with different values.
Cancer is a process and healing is a process that involves a dis-ease, my attitudinal response to it, my Doctor's expertise, the medicines they use, and for me as a believer, a source of power and healing that transcends statistical tables, survival rates, and what we know here on Earth. No one knows the mind or plan of God so this isn't a "everything is going to be great" statement. Simply put, it is a "isn't it amazing, an act of Grace, that I have been able to have surgery, take a chemo infusion, and then visit 10 states to lecture?" Isn't that a miracle? How about my daughter Christa taking 8 of the last 10 days she is off this Summer to go with me to make sure I am alright? Gratitude? Right there. Donna has a ton to do at home, and still, she is with me on this trip. Has any person the right to such a great partner? Sami and Steve will be moving home, taking over the basement, and Hannah and JJ are moving home because they know there are financial strains on our family because of the dis-ease. I also think they all know in their hearts that their presence lifts me, empowers me, comforts me, and heals me. A parent's greatest joy is their children when things go like God intended them in a family. Who is more blessed?
The day I was diagnosed, a friend, who I have a ton of love and respect for, showed up at my house and asked me if he could talk to me privately outside. He said, "I use to dream about girls and sporting events. Last night I dreamed about you. God told me to tell you that even though you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, you are not walking alone. God wants you to know that He is with you and will be with you." The dream happened the night before my friend received the news on his phone message the next morning. Chance? Last week a young freshman woman came up to me at Elmhurst College and said, "My doctor gave me 6 weeks three years ago. Don't let them tell you when to stop." Christa, the young woman, and I teared up. It was so powerful. All of you who have kept up and cared are Grace personified for me. It is no longer a philosophical concept but can be seen in your actions. I do not deserve it but I am so grateful for it. I would only ask that each of you look around today and take a look at even the smallest thing in your life that you might be grateful for. It's there...sometimes it is just hard to see. In my mind, and in my soul, I am in the process of healing, guided by my desire to love my family more, teach and engage more students, and live to watch my blessed Grandchildren, born and the yet to be born, live and play and love. I am encased by your warm friendship, cared for by my Doctors, and standing in the healing light of my Lord and Savior. I hope this doesn't put you off, but it is where I am at. We can still have a Jamison's or a glass of wine, still tell jokes on the border of appropriate, and at times be just who we are, but beneath it all, there is Grace, Gratitude, and Healing. And in my world, as the hymn says, "Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow."
With love,
Will
Donna and I are in Southern California at the Mission Inn in Riverside speaking at California State University, San Bernardino, and then at The University of Redlands. This will be my 35th speaking year at Redlands. It was my first University event and they have really stuck with me! I spoke to Mark Hartley who is bringing me to CSUSB when he was a freshman in 1989. Watching him grow from a complete first year into a seasoned professional, husband, and father has been one of the great joys of my life! Special thanks as well to Vice President Char Burgess, Dean Robles, and Val Sponheim for bringing me back to Redlands again and again. I will always think of Char as 'The Dean' because along with Dean Bruce Pittman of Idaho, they defined the role for me in my mind as a then young professional.
Donna and I had dinner last night with Ilaria Pesco, formally of Redlands and most recently of Semester at Sea, and breakfast with Dr. Michael Finley of Western Health Sciences University here at the Inn. As Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton sing in their most recent song together, "You just can't make old friends." They are either there or they are not! Ilaria, incidentally, is looking for employment in higher education and she carries my "A+" rating. A wonderful professional at Redlands for 17 years under Dean Burgess' tutelage and as a colleague of Neal Pahia, she now brings the wealth and depth of A Semester at Sea with her in her skill set. Dr. Micheal Finley is an SAE who was instrumental in bringing the first medical school to Oregon in over 100 years with the new school in Lebanon, Oregon. We have been brothers for 20 years and he made a special trip out to the Inland Empire before work today to say hello and check on me. After the discovery of my dis-ease, I have been overwhelmed with calls, cards, and social media contacts from old friends and new. Educators do not get rich except in memories and experiences. I was contacted this week by Kelly (Brown) Doucet who sat in the front row of Church during Campus Ministry at OSU every Sunday. She was dropping her daughter off for college orientation in Corvallis and wanted to say hello. I will see her when she comes back for the first of the year. If she is old enough to have a college daughter, then I must be older too!
Do you remember in an earlier blog when I said that I did not get cancer on July 16th? I just found out about it then? I had been living with it for some time. I was thinking about that one day last week when I was feeling pretty close to my old self. Energy returning, looking forward to the future, engaged with students in my lectures. Then it hit me...healing is a process like cancer. When I pray to God to heal me through the physicians and the medicine and through the Spirit, it is not like that is off in some far away time. If I believe in what I am saying to God, in God, and in the power of the Spirit to do the impossible, then it begins to happen when I say it. "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you." A central teaching and parable of Jesus who backed it up with sight for the blind, mobility for the lame, and even life for Lazarus. For as C.S. Lewis said in "Mere Christianity", either Jesus is who he said he was or he is the greatest maniac in the history of the world. I respect every person's right to believe what they want. I think that is the American way at its best. It also fits well under some other important teachings of Jesus like, "Don't judge others or you will receive the same judgement." "Love God, and love your neighbor as you love yourself." These are inclusive teachings that build community between different people with different values.
Cancer is a process and healing is a process that involves a dis-ease, my attitudinal response to it, my Doctor's expertise, the medicines they use, and for me as a believer, a source of power and healing that transcends statistical tables, survival rates, and what we know here on Earth. No one knows the mind or plan of God so this isn't a "everything is going to be great" statement. Simply put, it is a "isn't it amazing, an act of Grace, that I have been able to have surgery, take a chemo infusion, and then visit 10 states to lecture?" Isn't that a miracle? How about my daughter Christa taking 8 of the last 10 days she is off this Summer to go with me to make sure I am alright? Gratitude? Right there. Donna has a ton to do at home, and still, she is with me on this trip. Has any person the right to such a great partner? Sami and Steve will be moving home, taking over the basement, and Hannah and JJ are moving home because they know there are financial strains on our family because of the dis-ease. I also think they all know in their hearts that their presence lifts me, empowers me, comforts me, and heals me. A parent's greatest joy is their children when things go like God intended them in a family. Who is more blessed?
The day I was diagnosed, a friend, who I have a ton of love and respect for, showed up at my house and asked me if he could talk to me privately outside. He said, "I use to dream about girls and sporting events. Last night I dreamed about you. God told me to tell you that even though you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, you are not walking alone. God wants you to know that He is with you and will be with you." The dream happened the night before my friend received the news on his phone message the next morning. Chance? Last week a young freshman woman came up to me at Elmhurst College and said, "My doctor gave me 6 weeks three years ago. Don't let them tell you when to stop." Christa, the young woman, and I teared up. It was so powerful. All of you who have kept up and cared are Grace personified for me. It is no longer a philosophical concept but can be seen in your actions. I do not deserve it but I am so grateful for it. I would only ask that each of you look around today and take a look at even the smallest thing in your life that you might be grateful for. It's there...sometimes it is just hard to see. In my mind, and in my soul, I am in the process of healing, guided by my desire to love my family more, teach and engage more students, and live to watch my blessed Grandchildren, born and the yet to be born, live and play and love. I am encased by your warm friendship, cared for by my Doctors, and standing in the healing light of my Lord and Savior. I hope this doesn't put you off, but it is where I am at. We can still have a Jamison's or a glass of wine, still tell jokes on the border of appropriate, and at times be just who we are, but beneath it all, there is Grace, Gratitude, and Healing. And in my world, as the hymn says, "Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow."
With love,
Will
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
A Very Special Place With Very Special People
Tonight I spoke at Elmhurst College in Illinois. My friend Dr. Eileen Sullivan is the Dean and Desiree Novac is a special friend. Something happened during the speech that I wanted to share with you. After a rousing introduction of the Orientation Student Leaders by Orientation Coordinators Colin, Meredithe, and Zenya, I was introduced by Colin and went to the stage. The students were so responsive, supportive, and engaged. And then it happened...
For a moment I forgot I had cancer. It was bliss. Despite my best efforts to play on and play through, my diagnosis crosses my mind often. I had acknowledged my cancer to the students early to explain why I was seated behind the podium then moved on. I was speaking, the students were listening and responding...it was August again and I was doing my job. It was wonderfully normal! I ended my speech with the reading of a poem "What Cancer Cannot Do" that was given to me by Pam Caballero, my son in law Steve's Aunt. The students and staff exploded to their feet. I felt healthy, inspired, and incredibly hopeful. I felt energized.
As Christa and I sat for a moment at the dinner with Eileen and Des, students came by to say thank you and two cancer survivors told me their stories. One was given a year to live six years ago, and the other was given six weeks to live three years ago. I asked them what their key to living was and both said, "Don't let them tell you how long you have to live. You decide." It was powerful. Then the College President offered me his prayers, the Chaplain raised me up before the meal was served, Vice Presidents, Paul the Athletic Director. People took time to offer encouragement, prayers, and frankly hope.
What a very special place with very special people. I thank God I was asked to come, and also that I was able to be there and receive much more than I gave. Elmhurst College ministered to me tonight and for that Christa and I were in tears and thankful. Thank you Bluejays!
Will
For a moment I forgot I had cancer. It was bliss. Despite my best efforts to play on and play through, my diagnosis crosses my mind often. I had acknowledged my cancer to the students early to explain why I was seated behind the podium then moved on. I was speaking, the students were listening and responding...it was August again and I was doing my job. It was wonderfully normal! I ended my speech with the reading of a poem "What Cancer Cannot Do" that was given to me by Pam Caballero, my son in law Steve's Aunt. The students and staff exploded to their feet. I felt healthy, inspired, and incredibly hopeful. I felt energized.
As Christa and I sat for a moment at the dinner with Eileen and Des, students came by to say thank you and two cancer survivors told me their stories. One was given a year to live six years ago, and the other was given six weeks to live three years ago. I asked them what their key to living was and both said, "Don't let them tell you how long you have to live. You decide." It was powerful. Then the College President offered me his prayers, the Chaplain raised me up before the meal was served, Vice Presidents, Paul the Athletic Director. People took time to offer encouragement, prayers, and frankly hope.
What a very special place with very special people. I thank God I was asked to come, and also that I was able to be there and receive much more than I gave. Elmhurst College ministered to me tonight and for that Christa and I were in tears and thankful. Thank you Bluejays!
Will
Summer In The City
Dear Friends,
Christa and I are in Chicago today preparing for the next presentation to the new students at Elmhurst College. Elmhurst is a wonderful liberal arts college where two of my oldest friends in higher education work. Dr. Eileen Sullivan is the Vice President for Student Life and we have been friends for thirty years. I was blessed to officiate the wedding of her assistant Desiree Novac and her husband Jordan a few years back as well. They have been good friends and have invited me to welcome their first year students today at 5:15 p.m. We will then head to Iowa State University to participate in Destination Iowa State to welcome their first year class to Ames, Iowa, one of the great college towns in America. Every new student for several years has read "Keys To Success In College And Life" and I am excited to experience Hilton Magic again. Destination Iowa State will have the Hilton Coliseum rocking!
Health wise I am really trying to stay in the moment and not get down the road with worry and stress. This is harder than I thought. I have always had a rolodex like mental game with airline choices, road directions, situations and the like that brings forth into my consciousness a myriad of possibilities. With cancer as a diagnosis this is not always comforting and peace producing. I am not in pain and would describe my energy level at 75-80%. The one concession I have made in my lecturing is that I sit on a high backed stool or chair behind the podium which gives me the ability to put my energy into vocal variety, humor, and gestures instead of occasionally thinking about the fact that I am standing for an extended period of time. So far so good. My next blood work and Doctor's appointment is September 2nd followed by a second infusion on September 3rd in Corvallis. Christa and I will return home this Sunday from Minneapolis.
Our family has been overwhelmed with your desires and offers to help us! My daughter Christa has initiated an idea that she will share with all of you on this blog on September 1st that will give you the opportunity to truly help our family through this difficult time. You have resoundingly told me that it is my time to receive and I am working on accepting that fact. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts as you will be in ours. Let's try to be in the moment today, present to all those around us at work, at play, and in our homes. Let's not miss the opportunity to be of service to someone close to us today because we are gazing down a future path that will reveal itself in time. As Rainer Maria Rilke told the Young Poet, we must all live into the answers to our questions.
Blessings,
Will
Christa and I are in Chicago today preparing for the next presentation to the new students at Elmhurst College. Elmhurst is a wonderful liberal arts college where two of my oldest friends in higher education work. Dr. Eileen Sullivan is the Vice President for Student Life and we have been friends for thirty years. I was blessed to officiate the wedding of her assistant Desiree Novac and her husband Jordan a few years back as well. They have been good friends and have invited me to welcome their first year students today at 5:15 p.m. We will then head to Iowa State University to participate in Destination Iowa State to welcome their first year class to Ames, Iowa, one of the great college towns in America. Every new student for several years has read "Keys To Success In College And Life" and I am excited to experience Hilton Magic again. Destination Iowa State will have the Hilton Coliseum rocking!
Health wise I am really trying to stay in the moment and not get down the road with worry and stress. This is harder than I thought. I have always had a rolodex like mental game with airline choices, road directions, situations and the like that brings forth into my consciousness a myriad of possibilities. With cancer as a diagnosis this is not always comforting and peace producing. I am not in pain and would describe my energy level at 75-80%. The one concession I have made in my lecturing is that I sit on a high backed stool or chair behind the podium which gives me the ability to put my energy into vocal variety, humor, and gestures instead of occasionally thinking about the fact that I am standing for an extended period of time. So far so good. My next blood work and Doctor's appointment is September 2nd followed by a second infusion on September 3rd in Corvallis. Christa and I will return home this Sunday from Minneapolis.
Our family has been overwhelmed with your desires and offers to help us! My daughter Christa has initiated an idea that she will share with all of you on this blog on September 1st that will give you the opportunity to truly help our family through this difficult time. You have resoundingly told me that it is my time to receive and I am working on accepting that fact. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts as you will be in ours. Let's try to be in the moment today, present to all those around us at work, at play, and in our homes. Let's not miss the opportunity to be of service to someone close to us today because we are gazing down a future path that will reveal itself in time. As Rainer Maria Rilke told the Young Poet, we must all live into the answers to our questions.
Blessings,
Will
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Good Evening
I wanted to let you all know that my first post round of chemo infusion lecture trip is going as well as I think it can. I took the infusion on Tuesday morning and Christa and I got on a flight to Kansas City the next morning at 6 a.m. Thanks to Donna for getting us there.
Dean of Students Julian, Emily Givens, Brian, Matt and all the students at Drury University were so good to me. They arranged for me to sit in a high back chair to deliver my presentation to the parents, then the students, and the next morning on alcohol and other drugs. The standing ovation the students gave me brought me to tears. Several came up with family cancer stories and I know we ministered to each other through our sharing.
Christa and I then drive down to Eureka Springs, Arkansas to see our friends Sheryl, Shawnda, and their daughter Claire. The are running a wonderful resort with four cabins, one in which they live, called The Wild Plum. I would recommend their hospitality and also tell you that Eureka Springs is one of the most unique places in the country. Check it out. There is a spring here that pumps 38 million gallons of crystal clear water into a lake each day. Civil war soldiers used to heal here with the hot springs. 2,000 people live here bathed in nature's best as well as 173 restaurants, 1800's hotels, boutiques, and art galleries.
Health wise, I have some pains and my sleep is intermittent. I nap in the afternoons and feel strength coming back though I am still working on my anemia. Christa is keeping me hydrated and doing all the driving. The first night in Kansas City was the toughest as I got the chills really bad after dinner. They passed and each day I feel like I can do more. It is 9:30 pm here and I am still up! It's the little things.
I have two lectures left; one at Elmhurst College in Chicago on Wednesday, and then the Destination Iowa State address Thursday. Christa and I will then head home.
Thank you for your continued support and the nice notes, cards, and positive thinking. I am so blessed to have friends and family like the ones I have. I will say it again...deal with it and get used to it...I love you all and thank God for each of you every day.
Will
Dean of Students Julian, Emily Givens, Brian, Matt and all the students at Drury University were so good to me. They arranged for me to sit in a high back chair to deliver my presentation to the parents, then the students, and the next morning on alcohol and other drugs. The standing ovation the students gave me brought me to tears. Several came up with family cancer stories and I know we ministered to each other through our sharing.
Christa and I then drive down to Eureka Springs, Arkansas to see our friends Sheryl, Shawnda, and their daughter Claire. The are running a wonderful resort with four cabins, one in which they live, called The Wild Plum. I would recommend their hospitality and also tell you that Eureka Springs is one of the most unique places in the country. Check it out. There is a spring here that pumps 38 million gallons of crystal clear water into a lake each day. Civil war soldiers used to heal here with the hot springs. 2,000 people live here bathed in nature's best as well as 173 restaurants, 1800's hotels, boutiques, and art galleries.
Health wise, I have some pains and my sleep is intermittent. I nap in the afternoons and feel strength coming back though I am still working on my anemia. Christa is keeping me hydrated and doing all the driving. The first night in Kansas City was the toughest as I got the chills really bad after dinner. They passed and each day I feel like I can do more. It is 9:30 pm here and I am still up! It's the little things.
I have two lectures left; one at Elmhurst College in Chicago on Wednesday, and then the Destination Iowa State address Thursday. Christa and I will then head home.
Thank you for your continued support and the nice notes, cards, and positive thinking. I am so blessed to have friends and family like the ones I have. I will say it again...deal with it and get used to it...I love you all and thank God for each of you every day.
Will
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
First Treatment
Dear Friends,
I took my first infusion chemo treat today at the Corvallis Good Samaritan Infusion Center. Thanks to Dianne, my infusion nurse, for her kindnesses. I finished the treatment at 1:20 p.m. and it is 8:20 p.m. and so far I have had no negative reactions or side effects. Thanks as well to Dr. Matt Taylor and Dr. Vicky Lee for making this happen so that I would have a chance to give my lectures at Drury University, Elmhurst College, and Iowa State over the next 10 days. My next treatment will be in three weeks. Gratitude and thanks be to God, my friends with all their prayers and thoughts, and the medical team for helping me negotiate the early steps of this journey. I want to particularly thank Dan Ahern and Tim Hennessy for friendship above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks as well to Kathy, a survivor, and Monsignor Silva for sage like advice and prayer. Rudy's visit meant a lot as well. You have all been so great to me. I have always told others that the joy is in giving, and no one gets to give unless someone receives. Many, many of you have told me this is my time to receive. I am so much more comfortable giving than receiving. I will never feel worthy of the love you have given me, but given time, I will pass it on as mightily as I can. You all have shown me what real love is and what true friendship looks like. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you1
I took my first infusion chemo treat today at the Corvallis Good Samaritan Infusion Center. Thanks to Dianne, my infusion nurse, for her kindnesses. I finished the treatment at 1:20 p.m. and it is 8:20 p.m. and so far I have had no negative reactions or side effects. Thanks as well to Dr. Matt Taylor and Dr. Vicky Lee for making this happen so that I would have a chance to give my lectures at Drury University, Elmhurst College, and Iowa State over the next 10 days. My next treatment will be in three weeks. Gratitude and thanks be to God, my friends with all their prayers and thoughts, and the medical team for helping me negotiate the early steps of this journey. I want to particularly thank Dan Ahern and Tim Hennessy for friendship above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks as well to Kathy, a survivor, and Monsignor Silva for sage like advice and prayer. Rudy's visit meant a lot as well. You have all been so great to me. I have always told others that the joy is in giving, and no one gets to give unless someone receives. Many, many of you have told me this is my time to receive. I am so much more comfortable giving than receiving. I will never feel worthy of the love you have given me, but given time, I will pass it on as mightily as I can. You all have shown me what real love is and what true friendship looks like. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you1
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Real Men Sing Each Other Love Songs
Dear Friends,
A short entry today to make you aware of a love song that was graciously sung to me by my wonderful friend Jim Peacock of Vassalboro, Maine. Please don't mob his house, but let's take this video viral. I've seen staring squirrels, little girls offering to 'kick monster's asses', and a kid named Charlie biting his brother's finger. This video is a love song from one man to another. My wife told me to give you the link and I said, "Yes dear." That's how you stay married 34 years! I had no idea how to do that so thanks to my son JJ for doing the voodoo that he do. Thank you Jimmy...husband, father, fisherman extraordinaire, outdoorsman, and friend. You are also the hairiest guy I know so thank you for singing the song with your shirt on brother. I love you right back!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_U-Tm7Ud8&feature=youtu.be
A short entry today to make you aware of a love song that was graciously sung to me by my wonderful friend Jim Peacock of Vassalboro, Maine. Please don't mob his house, but let's take this video viral. I've seen staring squirrels, little girls offering to 'kick monster's asses', and a kid named Charlie biting his brother's finger. This video is a love song from one man to another. My wife told me to give you the link and I said, "Yes dear." That's how you stay married 34 years! I had no idea how to do that so thanks to my son JJ for doing the voodoo that he do. Thank you Jimmy...husband, father, fisherman extraordinaire, outdoorsman, and friend. You are also the hairiest guy I know so thank you for singing the song with your shirt on brother. I love you right back!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_U-Tm7Ud8&feature=youtu.be
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Every Silver Lining Has A Cloud
Greetings! It is a beautiful Saturday morning in Oregon. The "Eden at the end of the Oregon Trail" in the words of the pioneers is really showing off this morning. Highlights today will include my daughter Sami's sister-in-law Bree's baby shower, work in the yard here by the three SAEs we have housed for the Summer, apple picking, and Grandma's mandate that we eat the leftovers for the week for dinner tonight. Every tiny thing I get to do that doesn't include an MRI, a CT Scan, a PET scan, a transfusion, blood being drawn, or a hospital seems to be an Oscar-caliber event to me these days. I feel good and am looking forward to some flower planting as well.
Last Wednesday I met an amazing man named Dr. Matt Taylor. He is a medical oncologist at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland and will be my co-oncologist with Dr. Vicky Lee in Corvallis. The Knight Cancer Center in Portland at OHSU is the best we have and my medical team thought it wise to have an onsite and OHSU oncologist. I was told by many survivors to stop looking for a cancer doctor when I met a doctor who seemed to want me to live as much as I did. With Dr. Lee, an amazingly assertive and direct professional, I am afraid to die! She won't have it. Dr. Taylor, a father of four was so optimistic, so encouraging, so informed about the new treatments available. He knows Dr. Lee and respects her, and she him, so I have my medical team. It includes surgeon Dr. Peter Hudson, and my primary care physician Dr. Rong Wang. Peter is the father of my daughter Christa's best friend Karen, and Dr. Wong and Dr. Lee are close and friends.
I told Dr. Taylor after he explained the six possible treatments available to me, "Doc, you are almost making me feel optimistic about my chances for survival and some extra years." He said, "That's my job." Then corrected himself, "Actually, it's my vocation. One that I spend so much time on my wife would likely like some more of my time with our four daughters." Vocation. Calling. I like that. He is a Church guy as well and put me in his prayers as well as on his patient list. At 60 I am getting used to everyone looking younger than me and Dr. Taylor is no exception. I don't know if it was him or me that brought up Doogie Doctor, but we shared a laugh. I know Dr.s Taylor, Lee, Hudson, and Wang will do their very best for me. That, your prayers, cards, jokes, and kind thoughts, and the Grace of God Almighty are keeping me going.
What's up this week is the first injection of my meds on Wednesday. I always want to say that my health provider MODA has been amazing and prompt in approving the treatments that I need to move forward. The plan is to fly out Thursday with Christa to catch up with my lecture schedule. I have missed one talk at a community college but provided them with my presentation on video with a special campus specific introduction and a word about why I was not there. It is the best I can do under the circumstances. The meds will be taken every three weeks by injection. There are two new treatments that have been approved by the FDA which are very promising that will be available in the next six months and Dr. Taylor and Dr. Lee thought I should get started now and see how I respond to this treatment.
Wednesday last week was a hopeful day for me. Dr. Taylor was amazing, then I came home with high spirits, mowed the lawn, blew the leaves away, started the BBQ, and then we hosted 50 neighbors for the annual Jackson St. picnic. A big day for me energy wise. Small change for you all, but remember I am into the little things right now.:):):) Donna asked me to tell the neighbors what we were dealing with and I did my best to be clear, and hopeful. I want you all to know that I am not looking at this through rose colored glasses. However, I have to be the glass half full guy in this scenario. My whole life I have struggled to be the positive one. Many of you know that my biological father, Will S. Keim, Jr. died three months before I was born. My step father, Jack, was a great Dad and a practicing alcoholic. I was molested as an 8 year, and again in my twenties by a trusted minister friend to make sure my self esteem took a hit. I HAVE TO BE POSITIVE, or let the dark voice take me down. Which I suppose is why I love Jesus saying to Peter, after Peter, inspired by the Dark One, tries to talk Jesus out of going to Jerusalem, "Get behind me Satan." Jesus isn't calling Peter Satan. Rather, he is identifying the source of doubt, discouragement, fear, despair, hopelessness, violence, abuse. Not the red devil Satan...just the dark voice in each of us that wears us down with negativity. Tells us we cannot. Shows us wrong turns off the highway to healthy living. You can be an atheist and still have heard the dark voice in the night of your humanistic despair.
So...after my really good Wednesday, one of my neighbors, the only one with the courage to approach me about my cancer, and please note he is a great older guy, took some time to tell me about his brother's gruesome death due to melanoma. Please don't judge him. He and his wife are wonderful neighbors. I think he still feels the pain and it did give me a chance to get over my issues for a moment and reach out to him and offer him my condolence. But it dawned on me: Every silver lining has a cloud. I think the key is to not get too high or too low, and let the magic happen in the middle. My friend provided balance for me and inspired me to tell you I know this is serious and I again am trying to be positive. It's what I do. I am not in denial. I am not a Rhodes Scholar but I am smart enough to know that you only hear from Survivors. The ones who didn't make it don't write. But let's go forward operating with the assumption that we will be connected as friends and family for years to come. If that doesn't happen, there will be time then for sadness and grieving. In the meantime...
Live. Laugh. Love.
Life. Ourselves. Each Other.
Thanks for reading this with me. It offers me an outlet that I think frames my 'negotiation' with cancer. I do honestly love you all!
Will
Last Wednesday I met an amazing man named Dr. Matt Taylor. He is a medical oncologist at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland and will be my co-oncologist with Dr. Vicky Lee in Corvallis. The Knight Cancer Center in Portland at OHSU is the best we have and my medical team thought it wise to have an onsite and OHSU oncologist. I was told by many survivors to stop looking for a cancer doctor when I met a doctor who seemed to want me to live as much as I did. With Dr. Lee, an amazingly assertive and direct professional, I am afraid to die! She won't have it. Dr. Taylor, a father of four was so optimistic, so encouraging, so informed about the new treatments available. He knows Dr. Lee and respects her, and she him, so I have my medical team. It includes surgeon Dr. Peter Hudson, and my primary care physician Dr. Rong Wang. Peter is the father of my daughter Christa's best friend Karen, and Dr. Wong and Dr. Lee are close and friends.
I told Dr. Taylor after he explained the six possible treatments available to me, "Doc, you are almost making me feel optimistic about my chances for survival and some extra years." He said, "That's my job." Then corrected himself, "Actually, it's my vocation. One that I spend so much time on my wife would likely like some more of my time with our four daughters." Vocation. Calling. I like that. He is a Church guy as well and put me in his prayers as well as on his patient list. At 60 I am getting used to everyone looking younger than me and Dr. Taylor is no exception. I don't know if it was him or me that brought up Doogie Doctor, but we shared a laugh. I know Dr.s Taylor, Lee, Hudson, and Wang will do their very best for me. That, your prayers, cards, jokes, and kind thoughts, and the Grace of God Almighty are keeping me going.
What's up this week is the first injection of my meds on Wednesday. I always want to say that my health provider MODA has been amazing and prompt in approving the treatments that I need to move forward. The plan is to fly out Thursday with Christa to catch up with my lecture schedule. I have missed one talk at a community college but provided them with my presentation on video with a special campus specific introduction and a word about why I was not there. It is the best I can do under the circumstances. The meds will be taken every three weeks by injection. There are two new treatments that have been approved by the FDA which are very promising that will be available in the next six months and Dr. Taylor and Dr. Lee thought I should get started now and see how I respond to this treatment.
Wednesday last week was a hopeful day for me. Dr. Taylor was amazing, then I came home with high spirits, mowed the lawn, blew the leaves away, started the BBQ, and then we hosted 50 neighbors for the annual Jackson St. picnic. A big day for me energy wise. Small change for you all, but remember I am into the little things right now.:):):) Donna asked me to tell the neighbors what we were dealing with and I did my best to be clear, and hopeful. I want you all to know that I am not looking at this through rose colored glasses. However, I have to be the glass half full guy in this scenario. My whole life I have struggled to be the positive one. Many of you know that my biological father, Will S. Keim, Jr. died three months before I was born. My step father, Jack, was a great Dad and a practicing alcoholic. I was molested as an 8 year, and again in my twenties by a trusted minister friend to make sure my self esteem took a hit. I HAVE TO BE POSITIVE, or let the dark voice take me down. Which I suppose is why I love Jesus saying to Peter, after Peter, inspired by the Dark One, tries to talk Jesus out of going to Jerusalem, "Get behind me Satan." Jesus isn't calling Peter Satan. Rather, he is identifying the source of doubt, discouragement, fear, despair, hopelessness, violence, abuse. Not the red devil Satan...just the dark voice in each of us that wears us down with negativity. Tells us we cannot. Shows us wrong turns off the highway to healthy living. You can be an atheist and still have heard the dark voice in the night of your humanistic despair.
So...after my really good Wednesday, one of my neighbors, the only one with the courage to approach me about my cancer, and please note he is a great older guy, took some time to tell me about his brother's gruesome death due to melanoma. Please don't judge him. He and his wife are wonderful neighbors. I think he still feels the pain and it did give me a chance to get over my issues for a moment and reach out to him and offer him my condolence. But it dawned on me: Every silver lining has a cloud. I think the key is to not get too high or too low, and let the magic happen in the middle. My friend provided balance for me and inspired me to tell you I know this is serious and I again am trying to be positive. It's what I do. I am not in denial. I am not a Rhodes Scholar but I am smart enough to know that you only hear from Survivors. The ones who didn't make it don't write. But let's go forward operating with the assumption that we will be connected as friends and family for years to come. If that doesn't happen, there will be time then for sadness and grieving. In the meantime...
Live. Laugh. Love.
Life. Ourselves. Each Other.
Thanks for reading this with me. It offers me an outlet that I think frames my 'negotiation' with cancer. I do honestly love you all!
Will
Saturday, August 2, 2014
I'd Like To Buy The World A Coke
I would like to throw a bone to my older friends and ask them if they remember the Coca Cola marketing slogan, "I'd like to buy the world a Coke." For those of you who are younger, the concept that people around the world might be drinking Coke seemed beyond belief. How would they hear about it? How would they get it? Multinational, not to mention multicultural, were hardly buzz words used by regular folks like me and my friends. To add credence to the circuitous path upon which I am embarked, the cover of Sports Illustrated around this time had a picture of Pete Rose with the caption, "I want to be the first $100,000 singles hitter." 100K for a guy who hits singles? No way. And my contribution, "When gas gets to be .50 cents a gallon, I'll walk." I have often joked in my talks that our biggest worry when I was a freshman were the pterodactyls snatching first year students off of the quad lawns at college. Sometimes I feel like a dinosaur, sometimes I fee like a nut. Sorry...it was there and I had to take it.
In the last two days, I have had a wonderful visit from my first boss, Dr. David and his wife Dr. Carolyn Stephen. They live in California and were coming through. We laughed and wondered how he supervised myself, Jim Peacock, Dan Ahern, Robin Elmer, Sally Click, Dan Grindeman and others at the same time. He simply said he felt he had earned his money. David has always been a true friend, mentor, and the living embodiment of how a man can be open with his feelings towards others.
My friend Dr. Michael Finley texted and said he had lit a candle for me in the Grotto at Notre Dame in Indiana. Moments later, Greg Smith, a friend and Dad of Lily Smith, my first softball player to go on to play in college, emailed to tell me that Chief Mansaray in Sinkunia, Sierra Leone, Africa was raising my name in prayer at the Muslim Mosque there. Our softball team supports the school that Greg, his wife Claire, and Lily have started which has children from seven villages that used to hate each other learning side by side. The aforementioned Jim Peacock sang me a love song on YouTube, the highlight lyrics including, "We're not steaks and martinis, we're cold beer and weenies."
The world is a huge and shrinking place. A candle at Notre Dame, a Mass in Oxford, Mississippi, a prayer led by an African Chief, a love song from my buddy Jimmy, a visit from my first professional mentor. Add the cloistered Nuns my cousin Kathy has praying for me, my son JJ's friend Grace enlisting her Jewish community in prayer, and each of your kind thoughts and actions.....and really.....something has to get through! The gospel song says, "Are you ready for a miracle?" And the response echoes my solemn prayer and wish, "Ready as I can be."
Thank you for caring and for your encouragement. The interconnectedness of all of this is overwhelming and is taking some of my lack of understanding of buying the world a Coke away. I would likely prefer to buy the world an In-N-Out Burger or a Jamesons, but it is the same concept. Have a great weekend and know you are making a difference in my life. Bigger than you can imagine. I am cocooned in your care and love and though walking in a valley shadowed with concern, I do not walk alone.
Will
In the last two days, I have had a wonderful visit from my first boss, Dr. David and his wife Dr. Carolyn Stephen. They live in California and were coming through. We laughed and wondered how he supervised myself, Jim Peacock, Dan Ahern, Robin Elmer, Sally Click, Dan Grindeman and others at the same time. He simply said he felt he had earned his money. David has always been a true friend, mentor, and the living embodiment of how a man can be open with his feelings towards others.
My friend Dr. Michael Finley texted and said he had lit a candle for me in the Grotto at Notre Dame in Indiana. Moments later, Greg Smith, a friend and Dad of Lily Smith, my first softball player to go on to play in college, emailed to tell me that Chief Mansaray in Sinkunia, Sierra Leone, Africa was raising my name in prayer at the Muslim Mosque there. Our softball team supports the school that Greg, his wife Claire, and Lily have started which has children from seven villages that used to hate each other learning side by side. The aforementioned Jim Peacock sang me a love song on YouTube, the highlight lyrics including, "We're not steaks and martinis, we're cold beer and weenies."
The world is a huge and shrinking place. A candle at Notre Dame, a Mass in Oxford, Mississippi, a prayer led by an African Chief, a love song from my buddy Jimmy, a visit from my first professional mentor. Add the cloistered Nuns my cousin Kathy has praying for me, my son JJ's friend Grace enlisting her Jewish community in prayer, and each of your kind thoughts and actions.....and really.....something has to get through! The gospel song says, "Are you ready for a miracle?" And the response echoes my solemn prayer and wish, "Ready as I can be."
Thank you for caring and for your encouragement. The interconnectedness of all of this is overwhelming and is taking some of my lack of understanding of buying the world a Coke away. I would likely prefer to buy the world an In-N-Out Burger or a Jamesons, but it is the same concept. Have a great weekend and know you are making a difference in my life. Bigger than you can imagine. I am cocooned in your care and love and though walking in a valley shadowed with concern, I do not walk alone.
Will
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