Hello blog world. Christa, Will's eldest, here. My dad asked me yesterday if I would update his blog for him. I charmingly took out my phone and said, "Sure pops. What do you want to say?". He took a few breaths and told me that I should write it from my perspective and from my heart.
This blog is not entirely from my heart. My heart is always hopeful and sees the silver lining in every dark and scary cloud. My heart practically sings all the time and is amazed at the beautiful flowers trying to grow in the oily pavement cracks. It will beat up tempo and tell you that my family is doin' good*. We are always good, hanging in there, taking it day by day, and optimistic about the next treatment option or new "plan".
To be fair - we are doing well. Mom is coaching tennis at CHS. Her tennis team won the 5A state title and is rocking it. Go mom! Sami and dad's softball team made it well into playoffs. Although they didn't get the title, they continued to improve the whole year. It also gave dad many boosts of energy. I will be forever grateful to all dad's players for all they have done for my dad. Hannah is graduating with honors from Oregon State University. PS - Sam and Steve are having a baby SOON! They are going to be great parents. JJ has one more year at OSU, which only gives me 12 months to convince him to apply to teach at CHS so we can share an office. He is still one of the handsomest, kindest, funniest, most talented dudes out there. Love that guy!
With all that Keim awesomeness it is hard to think realistically about the negativity in the world. Every once in a while I do forget about cancer. Not so much forget...but I take a half a second break from the usual routine that all cancer blessed families know. The routine where your brain works like "wake up CANCER pour the coffee would you like some CANCER walk to the car and trip on CANCER oh crap I forgot to bring CANCER and work then sleep no sleep CANCER."
..........breathe............
I started this blog at 620.
At 624, text my family group text to get a most recent update on padre so my blog can be the most current. He went into the hospital yesterday because he was having a hard time breathing. (Thank you Christy Wright and Martha Rocky for all your tips on how to make dad feel better).
Hannah calls me at 650 to tell me that they are not going to do radiation tomorrow. Dad is going to come home and they are going to put dad in hospice.
This blog is not from my heart. My heart is always hopeful and sees the silver lining in every dark and scary cloud.
This blog comes from a hole somewhere between the pit of my stomach and deep in my chest. Deeper than my heart. My dad says he calls that "the dark voice". It's the voice that tells us it wont be okay, we aren't good enough, there is no hope, Donald Trump will become president.
But then we laugh and our heart takes back the reigns.
My dad is going to be brought home tomorrow and put under hospice care. All the prayers and positive energy you can send towards Corvallis would be greatly appreciated.
Blessings,
Christa on behalf of Will
*Karen Hudson - I know this isn't grammatically correct and I typed it anyway.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
"And The Children, (and Squirrels) Shall Lead Us."
Dear Friends,
I was walking outside our home today and noticed that a squirrel was sitting on top of the cross that we have positioned before a view of Mary's Peak that served as the backdrop for Christa and Sami's weddings. Though he was eating a nut, it looked like he was praying. It made me smile. It also reminded me of the many times in the New Testament that Jesus encourages his Disciples and followers to go to God as a child would. Open, believing, trusting, and with a beautiful innocence.
Yesterday I sent out a childlike and honest message to my friends on Facebook requesting assistance in getting JJ and Hannah registered for their last term of college. We are very tight financially right now with the additional cancer expenses that we have incurred. Schools, I believe out of respect for my healing, have not called for the Spring, though my Fall looks good. In addition, we had a school in Southern California breach a three year contract that has cost us in excess of a hundred thousand dollars of book sales. We are in litigation now, but that does not help the twins get registered.
In just over 24 hours, we have received half of the money we need. The total Spring Registration for the twins is $5700 and they need to register this week. Many of you have helped us so much all ready! Thank you. If you would like to relieve some stress from our lives, please buy books at willkeim.com, particularly The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love For A World Of Hurt, Special Edition, or make a contribution at the GoFundMe account the children set up. One of the reasons I am doing so well in my battle with cancer is that you have helped us face our financial responsibilities and for that I will be eternally grateful. You have helped keep my focus on healing and getting better.
Blessings to you, and perhaps we can all smile and take a hint from the squirrel in our backyard!
Love,
Will
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
"Take All The Time You Need"
Dear Friends,
Greetings! I had my follow-up appointment to all of my tests last Monday and my body seems to be tolerating the new drug. I took it, in addition to the existing two drugs, for the first 21 days of the cycle and now have a week off before resuming it. It is apparent by the number of blood draws and ECG tests that one of the side effects that most concerns my treatment team and the study originators is its impact on the heart. So far I am doing well and the heart, lungs, eyes, and essential organs are all holding their own and functioning well. I also had a little shrinkage of my left chest wall tumor which is good. I go back next Monday for the next wave of tests and then again on the 22nd of February. I will keep you all posted. Thanks to Hannah Keim for taking me up to OHSU!
By the way...Happy Ground Hog Day! Since Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow we only have 4 more weeks of Winter. Yeah, Phil! The movie Ground Hog Day does a nice job of showing the tradition featuring Bill Murray as a man who lives the same day over and over again. Check it out. Had Phil been in Corvallis, Oregon this morning he would have seen his shadow but what we celebrate as Winter here pales in comparison and scope to much of the rest of the country. There will be a lot of Americans who are pleased if Phil is right! It is also Dennis Eaton's birthday today. We have been friends since we were 10 years old. We were on the same Little League baseball team, The Shoppers Lane Merchants, together, as well as at South Hills High School in Southern California. Happy birthday brother!
I also want to recommend two books for you today. The first is called:
A Year With Hafiz: Daily Contemplations
Edited and Translated by Daniel Ladinsky
Hafiz is a legendary figure who lived in the fourteenth century. He was probably born about 1320 and died about 1389. His given name was Shams-ud-din Muhammed. He chose the pen name Hafiz which referred to someone who knows the Quran by heart. He was born in Shiraz in southern Persian. Like Lao Tzu, much myth and story surrounds this poet, philosopher, and Sufi Master. The book was a Christmas gift from Dr. Wendy Boring, a Professor friend from Willamette University, in Salem, Oregon. One poem a day creates a wealth of thoughts and refections for the reader. A couple of samples to excite your imagination:
One Regret
One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough.
Every Holy Book
A candle giving advice to the sun can make the sun smile because of the flame's remarkable innocence. Maybe I should be careful about saying something like this, but every holy book...
lifts the corners of my mouth, and even makes me giggle a bit.
Listen To This Music
I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through--listen to this music...We are a hole in a flute, a moment in space, that the Christ's body can move through and sway all forms--in an exquisite dance--as the wind in a forest.
The second book I am recommending is:
The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt
Written by Will Keim, Ph.D.
I wanted to remind you that the Special Limited Edition of this book is available at willkeim.com on the website store. We printed only 500 copies of this edition at $39.95 per copy. Each copy is signed by me and numbered for you. I will gladly personalize the books if they are for you or to be used as a gift for someone else. The price includes shipping and handling. Some teachings from Lao Tzu and from Jesus to pique your interest...
Teaching 10 The Tao
Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:
this is the supreme virtue.
Matthew 7:12
In everything, do to others what you would want
them to do to you. This is what is written in the
Law and in the Prophets.
Teaching 9 The Tao
Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening our knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about other people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.
Matthew 7:1-5 The Gospel
Do not judge others. Then you will not be judged
by God. First take the log out of your eye and then
you may see clearly enough to remove the speck of
wood from your friend's eye.
Teaching 66 The Tao
All streams flow to the sea
because it is lower than they are.
Humility gives it its power.
If you want to govern the people,
you must place yourself below them.
If you want to lead the people,
you must learn how to follow them.
The book reveals two great writings of wisdom and spirituality that appeared 6 centuries apart. Yet, the spirit and content are remarkably similar and aligned. Lao Tzu was born in the 6th century B.C. and was a Chinese philosopher and teacher. He heavily influenced Carl Jung. He is the founder of Taoism, and may have been a contemporary of Confucius. After a Teaching and a Gospel Lesson, I write a commentary that weaves them together for the reader. I know you will be moved by the great insights the Tao and the writings of Jesus reveal to you.
It is also no secret that with Doctor appointments very regularly that I must begin to shift my income trail from speaking to writings. I will speak as long as my health allows, but I am reaching out to all of you to request your assistance by buying copies of The Tao of Christ which will allow me to make good on the commitments I have made to my family. I thank you in advance.
The title of today's blog entry is, "Take All The Time You Need", and it came to me as I was reflecting (complaining) to myself, "Goodness, cancer takes a lot of time." Then it dawned on me...
when cancer ceases to take a lot time, I cease too! Therefore, I have resolved to take each appointment one at a time, each pill, each day, each battle, one at a time. It strikes me that this may be of value to those of you who are healthy as well. What are we rushing toward? What is the hurry? The play for each of us ends the same way. And while those of us who are people of faith hope and believe in life after death...this is the life that our Creator has put in our hands. The Afterlife is in the hands of the Creator. Jesus taught Christians to pray..."...your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven." Not..."...your will be done after we die and join you." This is our life, our opportunity, our chance to love and be loved. To serve, and care, and cry, and rejoice. What the hell are we rushing for? So..."Take All The Time You Need." Be present. Be mindful. And be grateful. This understanding, taught to me by Jesus, and Lao Tzu, and underscored by Louis Zamperini, and Hafiz, reveals a central truth to human existence. Today, right now, this moment...it is all we have. Be in it.
And may your life's moments be lived one at a time with great intention and joy.
Yours,
Will Keim
www.gofundme.com/j8f8m7hv
Greetings! I had my follow-up appointment to all of my tests last Monday and my body seems to be tolerating the new drug. I took it, in addition to the existing two drugs, for the first 21 days of the cycle and now have a week off before resuming it. It is apparent by the number of blood draws and ECG tests that one of the side effects that most concerns my treatment team and the study originators is its impact on the heart. So far I am doing well and the heart, lungs, eyes, and essential organs are all holding their own and functioning well. I also had a little shrinkage of my left chest wall tumor which is good. I go back next Monday for the next wave of tests and then again on the 22nd of February. I will keep you all posted. Thanks to Hannah Keim for taking me up to OHSU!
By the way...Happy Ground Hog Day! Since Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow we only have 4 more weeks of Winter. Yeah, Phil! The movie Ground Hog Day does a nice job of showing the tradition featuring Bill Murray as a man who lives the same day over and over again. Check it out. Had Phil been in Corvallis, Oregon this morning he would have seen his shadow but what we celebrate as Winter here pales in comparison and scope to much of the rest of the country. There will be a lot of Americans who are pleased if Phil is right! It is also Dennis Eaton's birthday today. We have been friends since we were 10 years old. We were on the same Little League baseball team, The Shoppers Lane Merchants, together, as well as at South Hills High School in Southern California. Happy birthday brother!
I also want to recommend two books for you today. The first is called:
A Year With Hafiz: Daily Contemplations
Edited and Translated by Daniel Ladinsky
Hafiz is a legendary figure who lived in the fourteenth century. He was probably born about 1320 and died about 1389. His given name was Shams-ud-din Muhammed. He chose the pen name Hafiz which referred to someone who knows the Quran by heart. He was born in Shiraz in southern Persian. Like Lao Tzu, much myth and story surrounds this poet, philosopher, and Sufi Master. The book was a Christmas gift from Dr. Wendy Boring, a Professor friend from Willamette University, in Salem, Oregon. One poem a day creates a wealth of thoughts and refections for the reader. A couple of samples to excite your imagination:
One Regret
One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough.
Every Holy Book
A candle giving advice to the sun can make the sun smile because of the flame's remarkable innocence. Maybe I should be careful about saying something like this, but every holy book...
lifts the corners of my mouth, and even makes me giggle a bit.
Listen To This Music
I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through--listen to this music...We are a hole in a flute, a moment in space, that the Christ's body can move through and sway all forms--in an exquisite dance--as the wind in a forest.
The second book I am recommending is:
The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt
Written by Will Keim, Ph.D.
I wanted to remind you that the Special Limited Edition of this book is available at willkeim.com on the website store. We printed only 500 copies of this edition at $39.95 per copy. Each copy is signed by me and numbered for you. I will gladly personalize the books if they are for you or to be used as a gift for someone else. The price includes shipping and handling. Some teachings from Lao Tzu and from Jesus to pique your interest...
Teaching 10 The Tao
Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:
this is the supreme virtue.
Matthew 7:12
In everything, do to others what you would want
them to do to you. This is what is written in the
Law and in the Prophets.
Teaching 9 The Tao
Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening our knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about other people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.
Matthew 7:1-5 The Gospel
Do not judge others. Then you will not be judged
by God. First take the log out of your eye and then
you may see clearly enough to remove the speck of
wood from your friend's eye.
Teaching 66 The Tao
All streams flow to the sea
because it is lower than they are.
Humility gives it its power.
If you want to govern the people,
you must place yourself below them.
If you want to lead the people,
you must learn how to follow them.
The book reveals two great writings of wisdom and spirituality that appeared 6 centuries apart. Yet, the spirit and content are remarkably similar and aligned. Lao Tzu was born in the 6th century B.C. and was a Chinese philosopher and teacher. He heavily influenced Carl Jung. He is the founder of Taoism, and may have been a contemporary of Confucius. After a Teaching and a Gospel Lesson, I write a commentary that weaves them together for the reader. I know you will be moved by the great insights the Tao and the writings of Jesus reveal to you.
It is also no secret that with Doctor appointments very regularly that I must begin to shift my income trail from speaking to writings. I will speak as long as my health allows, but I am reaching out to all of you to request your assistance by buying copies of The Tao of Christ which will allow me to make good on the commitments I have made to my family. I thank you in advance.
The title of today's blog entry is, "Take All The Time You Need", and it came to me as I was reflecting (complaining) to myself, "Goodness, cancer takes a lot of time." Then it dawned on me...
when cancer ceases to take a lot time, I cease too! Therefore, I have resolved to take each appointment one at a time, each pill, each day, each battle, one at a time. It strikes me that this may be of value to those of you who are healthy as well. What are we rushing toward? What is the hurry? The play for each of us ends the same way. And while those of us who are people of faith hope and believe in life after death...this is the life that our Creator has put in our hands. The Afterlife is in the hands of the Creator. Jesus taught Christians to pray..."...your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven." Not..."...your will be done after we die and join you." This is our life, our opportunity, our chance to love and be loved. To serve, and care, and cry, and rejoice. What the hell are we rushing for? So..."Take All The Time You Need." Be present. Be mindful. And be grateful. This understanding, taught to me by Jesus, and Lao Tzu, and underscored by Louis Zamperini, and Hafiz, reveals a central truth to human existence. Today, right now, this moment...it is all we have. Be in it.
And may your life's moments be lived one at a time with great intention and joy.
Yours,
Will Keim
www.gofundme.com/j8f8m7hv
Friday, January 22, 2016
"The Upside of Being Unremarkable"
Dear Friends,
Greetings. I have been engaged in a battery of blood tests, ECGs, EKGs, CT Scans, eye exams, skin exams and a host of other medical procedures that will continue on Monday January 25th and 26th to assess the impact of the new drug I am taking on my body. With the exception of a couple of tumors, the results have been generally positive, with no development in my vital organs. Most of my body has been found to be, in the only words of the report I understand, 'unremarkable.' I never really lived with the delusion that my body was great, but it carried me through some amazing adventures, into a marriage and a family complete with grandchildren, world championships in baseball, great coaching experiences, and some life long friendships. 'Unremarkable' was never by goal, nor that of my friends. But again, cancer has a couple of lessons up its sleeve, and now, I covet being 'Unremarkable' as often as possible. It is my health report goal from this point forward. I hope to sweet Jesus one day that 'Unremarkable' will turn into 'cancer free', but for now, I am hoping to be 'Unremarkable Me.!'
Another of cancer's good benefits, and God knows there are thousands of bad benefits, is that of saying to people some things that perhaps you wanted to say a long time ago but were for whatever reason afraid or unwilling to say. Being old school, it has always been easy for me to tell my women friends or relatives that I loved them but it has been more difficult to say that to my male friends. I don't know why. It just was, but not any more. Recently my friend of 30 years and first boss, Bruce Leamon, and I were talking on the phone exchanging stories and laughs. Bruce is an Executive Coach that travels all over the world and he and his wife Janet live in Washington. Bruce is the "King of Pun", rivaled only by Kevin Klink, the world's funniest chemical engineer. (It is a small pool.) As we talked we became a little emotional. I told him how much I had appreciated his friendship and guidance over the years. He told me that he was supposed to die before me, and then he said something I will remember all the days of my life. He said:
"You'll never know how many people are carrying your voice around with them."
We both got quite and a little choked up. I think I tried to diffuse the situation a little bit by saying something like, "I bet there are a lot of folks that would like to get my voice out of their heads.", but the sentiment was real and overwhelming. Soon we said goodbye and then pledged to get together soon! Bruce's sincere statement made me realize that in the midst of this disease that one of the things I hope is that I am remembered, that my life matters, and than I did more good than harm on my journey.
If there is someone in your life that has made an big impact or mentored you, or helped you along, please don't wait for cancer, or a calamity to tell them. What Bruce gave me yesterday pulled me out of a small funk of feeling sorry for myself for a minute because there didn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel, or even an end to the tunnel other than one I didn't want to consider. Fourteen words and Bruce illuminated my path, countered the darkness, and made me feel valued and love.
Tell someone today, or this weekend. And thanks to my buddy Bruce for taking time and having the courage to share his feelings with me. I love you Bruce, and I love all of you! Have a great weekend!
Blessings,
Will
Greetings. I have been engaged in a battery of blood tests, ECGs, EKGs, CT Scans, eye exams, skin exams and a host of other medical procedures that will continue on Monday January 25th and 26th to assess the impact of the new drug I am taking on my body. With the exception of a couple of tumors, the results have been generally positive, with no development in my vital organs. Most of my body has been found to be, in the only words of the report I understand, 'unremarkable.' I never really lived with the delusion that my body was great, but it carried me through some amazing adventures, into a marriage and a family complete with grandchildren, world championships in baseball, great coaching experiences, and some life long friendships. 'Unremarkable' was never by goal, nor that of my friends. But again, cancer has a couple of lessons up its sleeve, and now, I covet being 'Unremarkable' as often as possible. It is my health report goal from this point forward. I hope to sweet Jesus one day that 'Unremarkable' will turn into 'cancer free', but for now, I am hoping to be 'Unremarkable Me.!'
Another of cancer's good benefits, and God knows there are thousands of bad benefits, is that of saying to people some things that perhaps you wanted to say a long time ago but were for whatever reason afraid or unwilling to say. Being old school, it has always been easy for me to tell my women friends or relatives that I loved them but it has been more difficult to say that to my male friends. I don't know why. It just was, but not any more. Recently my friend of 30 years and first boss, Bruce Leamon, and I were talking on the phone exchanging stories and laughs. Bruce is an Executive Coach that travels all over the world and he and his wife Janet live in Washington. Bruce is the "King of Pun", rivaled only by Kevin Klink, the world's funniest chemical engineer. (It is a small pool.) As we talked we became a little emotional. I told him how much I had appreciated his friendship and guidance over the years. He told me that he was supposed to die before me, and then he said something I will remember all the days of my life. He said:
"You'll never know how many people are carrying your voice around with them."
We both got quite and a little choked up. I think I tried to diffuse the situation a little bit by saying something like, "I bet there are a lot of folks that would like to get my voice out of their heads.", but the sentiment was real and overwhelming. Soon we said goodbye and then pledged to get together soon! Bruce's sincere statement made me realize that in the midst of this disease that one of the things I hope is that I am remembered, that my life matters, and than I did more good than harm on my journey.
If there is someone in your life that has made an big impact or mentored you, or helped you along, please don't wait for cancer, or a calamity to tell them. What Bruce gave me yesterday pulled me out of a small funk of feeling sorry for myself for a minute because there didn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel, or even an end to the tunnel other than one I didn't want to consider. Fourteen words and Bruce illuminated my path, countered the darkness, and made me feel valued and love.
Tell someone today, or this weekend. And thanks to my buddy Bruce for taking time and having the courage to share his feelings with me. I love you Bruce, and I love all of you! Have a great weekend!
Blessings,
Will
Friday, January 8, 2016
"Behold, I Bring You Good News."
Dear Friends,
During my 8 hour battery of tests Tuesday January 4th, they did two more biopsies on me. I must admit I was thinking to myself, "When you have Stage 4 Metastatic Melanoma, how much more cancer do you need?" Two days later the Doctor called and said, "The tests were negative. I am so happy to tell you this!" Behold, she brought me good news. I wanted you to know!
I return to OHSU Monday January 11th for the next battery of tests in order to receive the third drug for my cancer cocktail as part of the Clinical Trial in which I participate. I am excited, apprehensive, a little frightened, and hopeful all at the same time. Prayers and good thoughts are solicited, and appreciated. It has occurred to me that it not only takes a village to raise a child, but to fight a disease as well.
Finally, my dear friend Curtis Zimmerman and Dr. Dawn Graff-Haight, a gifted and caring Professor at Linfield College, have told me to make it easier for people to help me and the Keim Family. So, if you are able to help, you may contribute to our well-being at:
https://www.gofundme.com/j8f8m7hv
Thank you and God bless you!
Will
"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." Pericles
During my 8 hour battery of tests Tuesday January 4th, they did two more biopsies on me. I must admit I was thinking to myself, "When you have Stage 4 Metastatic Melanoma, how much more cancer do you need?" Two days later the Doctor called and said, "The tests were negative. I am so happy to tell you this!" Behold, she brought me good news. I wanted you to know!
I return to OHSU Monday January 11th for the next battery of tests in order to receive the third drug for my cancer cocktail as part of the Clinical Trial in which I participate. I am excited, apprehensive, a little frightened, and hopeful all at the same time. Prayers and good thoughts are solicited, and appreciated. It has occurred to me that it not only takes a village to raise a child, but to fight a disease as well.
Finally, my dear friend Curtis Zimmerman and Dr. Dawn Graff-Haight, a gifted and caring Professor at Linfield College, have told me to make it easier for people to help me and the Keim Family. So, if you are able to help, you may contribute to our well-being at:
https://www.gofundme.com/j8f8m7hv
Thank you and God bless you!
Will
"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." Pericles
Monday, January 4, 2016
"Need Is Not Weakness. Need Is Need." Dr. Bennett Omalu
Dear Friends,
Pictured immediately below are two miracles. One, a man in recovery from cancer surgery performed by surgical oncologist Dr. John Vetto, assisted by Dr. Mayo. They removed a football sized growth from my abdomen which had been resistant to the chemo treatment I was receiving. They operated on December 18th, and I was home by December 23rd for Christmas. To me, this was a miracle! I was inspired by the words of Louis Zamperini in his book, "Don't Give Up, Don't Give In." You may remember his story from the movie 'Unbroken.' In his chapter entitled, 'Don't Ask Why, Ask What's Next', he advises, "Instead of getting all caught up in asking why, I ask, what's next? That's all you have to know." He continues, "Whenever I've had to go to the hospital, and the doctors tell me how long I'll have to stay, I always try to get better sooner. So far it's worked. Why? I help heal my body by--again--accepting the situation. I let the doctors do what they can, but in the meantime I also use the healing powers of cheerfulness. When I leave early, the doctors always credit my attitude. If you can't control your attitude, forget it. You're going to heal slowly or die young."
The second miracle in the picture is Gus the dog. He is my Granddog and technically belongs to my daughter Sami and her husband Steve. I never cared for small dogs before. But this little guy has won me over. He is a Welsh Terrier and whenever I am on the couch he lays with me and cheers me up. Some say it is because I feed him snacks. Oh, ye of little faith. He constantly makes me smile and be cheerful, and if Louis Zamperini is right, that happiness and positive attitude can help me get better. Thanks be to God, and Gus!
Tomorrow, on January 5th, Donna and I will venture to the Oregon Health Sciences University Knight Cancer Center for a new battery of tests in preparation for the next phase of the Clinical Trial. We are likely going to add one of the five experimental drugs to my current chemo cocktail. We have an 8 a.m. eye exam at the Casey Eye Institute, a 10:20 a.m. Dermatological Exam, an 11:50 a.m. staple removal and post surgery exam with Dr. Vetto, a 1:30 p.m. Cardiac Non-Invasive Test, a 3:30 p.m. CT Scan of the abdomen, and a 3:45 p.m. CT Scan of my head and shoulders. I have tried really hard to treat everyone at OHSU with respect and good cheer, and Lynn at the 7th floor reception area, John at the immuno therapy area, and the bearded checkout guys have told me it is always good to see me. I cannot control my cancer, though we are all trying. But I can control my attitude. Thanks to Lindsay Chandler for setting this schedule up and to the amazing Donna Keim for taking another day away from work to make sure I get there and get treated.
Feeling much better this weekend, Donna and I along with Sami and Steve decided to take in a movie. We chose Concussion, starring Will Smith as Dr. Bennett Omalu. Dr Omalu overcame a great deal of resistance to make known the fact that while it is a beautiful game, football is also a very dangerous game. The movie is powerful and really made me consider my love of the game. I concluded when JJ played football in high school that it was easier to watch other men's sons play the game rather than my own. I watched the games over the New Year with a different mindset.
In the movie, Dr. Omalu says to a fellow immigrant to America, "Need is not weakness, need is need." While cancer has provided me with an opportunity to embrace humility, renew my faith, and tell people that I should have told 20 years ago that I love them, I remain a proud man and would much rather be the one visiting the hospital than being the one visited. I would rather give than receive. As I prepared to come home, my daughter Hannah informed me that she and Christa, Sami, and JJ had set up a GoFundMe account for me to help with our cancer and living expenses. I was at once deeply touched, embarrassed, humbled, and yet proud that my children cared and had acted to make my fight with cancer less stressful. I know there are many needs in the world greater than my own. I also know that my travel is presently on hold and my expenses continue. I hope, pray, and plan to return to speaking, but the reality is that time will tell.
So with great humility and mild trepidation I am sharing the GoFundMe account information the Keim children set up below. Hannah said, "Dad, if every student you have spoken to gave a dollar, you could stay home and get well." I do not plan to beat this until it is a dead horse, but I will ask once for you to consider helping us and sharing the GoFundMe with any of your friends or colleagues that I may have helped or inspired along the way. I hope Dr. Omalu was right, as your help would be a lot easier to receive if it was simply need, not weakness. In either case, I appreciate your consideration, and in the event God grants me more time, I promise to pass it on! Blessings and best wishes for a healthy 2016!
Will
If you would like to support our family through my GoFundMe, which was set up by my children, click HERE.
Thank you for your support.
Pictured immediately below are two miracles. One, a man in recovery from cancer surgery performed by surgical oncologist Dr. John Vetto, assisted by Dr. Mayo. They removed a football sized growth from my abdomen which had been resistant to the chemo treatment I was receiving. They operated on December 18th, and I was home by December 23rd for Christmas. To me, this was a miracle! I was inspired by the words of Louis Zamperini in his book, "Don't Give Up, Don't Give In." You may remember his story from the movie 'Unbroken.' In his chapter entitled, 'Don't Ask Why, Ask What's Next', he advises, "Instead of getting all caught up in asking why, I ask, what's next? That's all you have to know." He continues, "Whenever I've had to go to the hospital, and the doctors tell me how long I'll have to stay, I always try to get better sooner. So far it's worked. Why? I help heal my body by--again--accepting the situation. I let the doctors do what they can, but in the meantime I also use the healing powers of cheerfulness. When I leave early, the doctors always credit my attitude. If you can't control your attitude, forget it. You're going to heal slowly or die young."
The second miracle in the picture is Gus the dog. He is my Granddog and technically belongs to my daughter Sami and her husband Steve. I never cared for small dogs before. But this little guy has won me over. He is a Welsh Terrier and whenever I am on the couch he lays with me and cheers me up. Some say it is because I feed him snacks. Oh, ye of little faith. He constantly makes me smile and be cheerful, and if Louis Zamperini is right, that happiness and positive attitude can help me get better. Thanks be to God, and Gus!
Tomorrow, on January 5th, Donna and I will venture to the Oregon Health Sciences University Knight Cancer Center for a new battery of tests in preparation for the next phase of the Clinical Trial. We are likely going to add one of the five experimental drugs to my current chemo cocktail. We have an 8 a.m. eye exam at the Casey Eye Institute, a 10:20 a.m. Dermatological Exam, an 11:50 a.m. staple removal and post surgery exam with Dr. Vetto, a 1:30 p.m. Cardiac Non-Invasive Test, a 3:30 p.m. CT Scan of the abdomen, and a 3:45 p.m. CT Scan of my head and shoulders. I have tried really hard to treat everyone at OHSU with respect and good cheer, and Lynn at the 7th floor reception area, John at the immuno therapy area, and the bearded checkout guys have told me it is always good to see me. I cannot control my cancer, though we are all trying. But I can control my attitude. Thanks to Lindsay Chandler for setting this schedule up and to the amazing Donna Keim for taking another day away from work to make sure I get there and get treated.
Feeling much better this weekend, Donna and I along with Sami and Steve decided to take in a movie. We chose Concussion, starring Will Smith as Dr. Bennett Omalu. Dr Omalu overcame a great deal of resistance to make known the fact that while it is a beautiful game, football is also a very dangerous game. The movie is powerful and really made me consider my love of the game. I concluded when JJ played football in high school that it was easier to watch other men's sons play the game rather than my own. I watched the games over the New Year with a different mindset.
In the movie, Dr. Omalu says to a fellow immigrant to America, "Need is not weakness, need is need." While cancer has provided me with an opportunity to embrace humility, renew my faith, and tell people that I should have told 20 years ago that I love them, I remain a proud man and would much rather be the one visiting the hospital than being the one visited. I would rather give than receive. As I prepared to come home, my daughter Hannah informed me that she and Christa, Sami, and JJ had set up a GoFundMe account for me to help with our cancer and living expenses. I was at once deeply touched, embarrassed, humbled, and yet proud that my children cared and had acted to make my fight with cancer less stressful. I know there are many needs in the world greater than my own. I also know that my travel is presently on hold and my expenses continue. I hope, pray, and plan to return to speaking, but the reality is that time will tell.
So with great humility and mild trepidation I am sharing the GoFundMe account information the Keim children set up below. Hannah said, "Dad, if every student you have spoken to gave a dollar, you could stay home and get well." I do not plan to beat this until it is a dead horse, but I will ask once for you to consider helping us and sharing the GoFundMe with any of your friends or colleagues that I may have helped or inspired along the way. I hope Dr. Omalu was right, as your help would be a lot easier to receive if it was simply need, not weakness. In either case, I appreciate your consideration, and in the event God grants me more time, I promise to pass it on! Blessings and best wishes for a healthy 2016!
Will
If you would like to support our family through my GoFundMe, which was set up by my children, click HERE.
Thank you for your support.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
"The Empire Strikes Back"
Dear Friends,
I have mentioned in previous postings the writings of one author who called cancer, "The Emperor of All Maladies." That is the motivation behind today's post title. While I have made great progress under the care of Dr. Matthew Taylor, the empire has struck back and I have a tumor growing in my belly that has the potential to create a blockage. Therefore, Dr. Taylor has enlisted Surgical Oncologist Dr. John Vetto to perform a second surgery on December 18th at OHSU. They are confident that this will buy us some more time to consider other treatment options. This is a preventative surgery before the blockage occurs. I may not be able to be home for Christmas, but Hannah said, "Dad, Christmas is wherever we are." A beautiful sentiment.
I am hopeful that this will lead us in another direction that will stem the growth and development of existing and new tumors. Melanoma is a sneaky enemy. New treatments are out now that were not available when I began my cancer journey two years ago. That said, I have asked God, and am asking you, to continue to be involved in my treatment and potential healing. Your positivism and loving care have made such a huge difference for me on the path I have travelled. The experience would have been so much more frightening without you! Thank you for caring!
On a practical matter, I am asking any of you who are interested to go immediately to willkeim.com
and order your copy(ies) of the Special Limited Edition of "The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for A World of Hurt." I only printed 500 copies and they will be signed, and numbered. My children have said that they will mail them but I think we need to have your orders by December 17th. Cost is $39.95 per copy. The books are on their way here right now and I know they will be a great Christmas present for you and or your friends. I know this may seem like a mundane matter compared to cancer surgery but it gives me something else to do and think about. I appreciate your support and interest in my work and only encourage you not to put this off.
Blessings and love!
Will Keim
I have mentioned in previous postings the writings of one author who called cancer, "The Emperor of All Maladies." That is the motivation behind today's post title. While I have made great progress under the care of Dr. Matthew Taylor, the empire has struck back and I have a tumor growing in my belly that has the potential to create a blockage. Therefore, Dr. Taylor has enlisted Surgical Oncologist Dr. John Vetto to perform a second surgery on December 18th at OHSU. They are confident that this will buy us some more time to consider other treatment options. This is a preventative surgery before the blockage occurs. I may not be able to be home for Christmas, but Hannah said, "Dad, Christmas is wherever we are." A beautiful sentiment.
I am hopeful that this will lead us in another direction that will stem the growth and development of existing and new tumors. Melanoma is a sneaky enemy. New treatments are out now that were not available when I began my cancer journey two years ago. That said, I have asked God, and am asking you, to continue to be involved in my treatment and potential healing. Your positivism and loving care have made such a huge difference for me on the path I have travelled. The experience would have been so much more frightening without you! Thank you for caring!
On a practical matter, I am asking any of you who are interested to go immediately to willkeim.com
and order your copy(ies) of the Special Limited Edition of "The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for A World of Hurt." I only printed 500 copies and they will be signed, and numbered. My children have said that they will mail them but I think we need to have your orders by December 17th. Cost is $39.95 per copy. The books are on their way here right now and I know they will be a great Christmas present for you and or your friends. I know this may seem like a mundane matter compared to cancer surgery but it gives me something else to do and think about. I appreciate your support and interest in my work and only encourage you not to put this off.
Blessings and love!
Will Keim
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
'Tis The Season!
Dear Friends,
Season's greetings to you from our home. It is always amazing how fast this time of the year seems to go once we celebrate Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then BAM!, Christmas. Many of our friends will begin their Hanukkah celebration at sundown on December 6th, some the beginning of Kwanzaa on December 26th, but everyone has the opportunity to remember the blessings of family, friends, and faith. We all, regardless of tradition, pause to remember those that are disenfranchised from their family, friends, and faith. This can be a very lonely time of the year for them, especially the children.
I want to talk to you about two things today. The first is my health report card, and the second is an opportunity to provide your family and friends with a unique and personal seasonal gift that will also be a blessing to our family. First the health report card...
This week I return to OHSU's Knight Cancer Center for a CT Scan Friday that will track my 'unruly cells' growth and development. I have had a couple of areas, masses, or tumors depending on the vernacular, growing slowly despite the two drugs I am on. For the most part I have been feeling very well and my energy level has been good. I hit a high of 14.1 on the hemoglobin scale which put me in the normal range. A far cry from the 5.6 which put me in the "Wow, how are you not passing out?" area of the scale when this all began. Monday I will return to Portland for my eye test with Dr. Gupta, and then my meeting with Dr. Matthew Taylor. He has been in dialogue with Novartis, the sponsor of my Clinical Trial, about adding a third 'investigational' drug to my cancer cocktail. I mean what I am about to say with my whole heart...I pray to Sweet Jesus every night that these drugs will shrink my tumors and even, with the Grace of God and the Power of the Holy Spirit, heal me. But if I knew that they wouldn't, but the information gained from this trial would save one child or family member from going through what my wife and children have gone through, then it would be worth it. Remember an earlier lesson cancer taught me, and I hope you...Cancer is a family disease housed in one person. I am the host but I am far from the only one in my family impacted by the 'Emperor of All Maladies'; that is, cancer. A friend asked me, "How does it feel to be a guinea pig?" I said, "I always thought they were kind of cute!" Your thoughts and prayers have sustained me, bolstered me, and accompanied me in the middle of the night when the Dark Voice tried to creep in, and I ask and urge you to continue them on my behalf.
Secondly, I want to share with you what I hope you will find to be a wonderful gift idea for friends, family, or even yourself that will also help the Keim family as we move forward with our lives. A little background and another lesson from cancer first. Every cancer host will know exactly what I am saying and I hope this lesson will help the rest of you understand us. When the Doctor says, "You have cancer.", you immediately think you are going to die next Friday. Especially in my case when he added, "Your cancer is fatal, there is no cure." I immediately heard Bill Murray in Scrooged, when he saw the man frozen that he had refused to help, saying, "Hey, throw me a bone here, man!" Because I am a sick and twisted guy, I also heard Rodney Dangerfield in my head saying, "Can I get a second opinion?" Then Dangerfield's Doctor said, "Sure, and you're fat too." You laugh or cry, and sometimes both in a single instant.
I was also reminded of Paul's letter in the New Testament to the Church at Thessalonica. It seems the people there were so sure that Jesus would return immediately that they just sat back and put everything on hold. Paul's letter advised them that God works on His own time schedule and that they should plant their crops, and tend their sheep, just in case the Lord didn't return next Friday. And so it was with me and cancer. Though it is no secret that my speeches are deeper, richer, and more focused than ever before, fewer people are calling now to have me speak, except locally, where I speak at no fee for community service. I think they are trying to be respectful of what they believe is my shrinking time with family and I appreciate that deeply. Some even think I am already gone. Remember the journal entries regarding, "I thought you were dead." from a college friend, and "Will you still be here in September?" Like the Thessalonians, my family and I still need to eat, sleep, and go on with our lives. That is where my dear friend, former protege and mentee, and current colleague Curtis Zimmerman comes in.
Curtis has been very direct with me in telling me that this is the time when he and others whom I have impacted can return the favor to our family. For those of you who do not know him, he is an amazing man, a Father, Husband, and former Universal Studios and Carnival Cruise Lines Entertainer of the Year. He is a bestselling author, a man of faith, the Principal and Founder of the Zimmerman Group. I never met anyone like him and the early family dysfunction and learning disabilities that this man has overcome are Mount Denali like in their scope. He was a mime for 25 years and when I met him he wanted to begin to tell his story using words but had received advice that because he didn't have a college education, he would not be able to speak on college or corporate campuses. I listened to him once and told him he could speak anywhere he wanted as his message "Learning to Fail Successfully, and Living Life at Performance Level" were as good as anything I had ever seen. Thousands of campuses and hundreds of corporations proved me right. The man has a gift and one of them is getting up in my grill and convincing me to provide others with an opportunity to help me as I have helped others.
Curtis is now mentoring me on a national plan to have my books made available to high school and college students across America and Canada with individual and corporate funding. We will make a national announcement about that plan soon. For now, I am pleased to offer a Special Edition of my book 'The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt' for this holiday season. This is my favorite of the books I have written because it integrates and introduces the reader to the beauty of the 'Lessons of The Tao' by Lao Tzu and the 'Parables' of Jesus of Nazareth. They are at once eloquent, ancient, and relevant to modern life.The Tao says, "The oceans are greater than the rivers and the lakes not because it exalts itself over them, but because it is lower, and as such, all life runs into it." Jesus counsels, "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. Blessed are the meek." You will be inspired, amazed, and in wonder about how two writings offered 2500 years apart could be so in synch and applicable to today. The Tao advises, "Governing a country is like cooking a small fish. Too much poking around will ruin it.", and "Knowledge of others is information. Knowledge of self is true power." Jesus encourages, "Love your neighbor as you love your self.", and "Don't judge others, for in the end, you will receive the same judgement."
I have printed 500 Special Limited Edition copies of The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt now available at $39.95 which includes shipping, numbering (1/500, 2/500 etc.) and a personal message as requested by you. I would encourage you to order them at willkeim.com, see the Shop or Store area, where you can utilize your credit card. I can also take phone orders at 541-740-1318 using the secure Square. ***In either case, please send me a text, or email at willkeim@willkeim.com telling me where you want the book shipped and with what message. If you do not email or text, I will sign the book to you with a message from me directed to you. There are only 500 copies so please act today! I would appreciate your order by December 18th at the latest so that I can ship them out on the 19th and get them to their destination by Christmas. A special thank you to Curtis for prodding and pushing me. Frankly, we need the income, the book is great, and I thank you in advance for your friendship and patronage.
Thank you all for your continue interest in my journey. It would have been unbearable alone. I give you my love and friendship as you have extended yours to me! Blessings,
Will Keim
Season's greetings to you from our home. It is always amazing how fast this time of the year seems to go once we celebrate Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then BAM!, Christmas. Many of our friends will begin their Hanukkah celebration at sundown on December 6th, some the beginning of Kwanzaa on December 26th, but everyone has the opportunity to remember the blessings of family, friends, and faith. We all, regardless of tradition, pause to remember those that are disenfranchised from their family, friends, and faith. This can be a very lonely time of the year for them, especially the children.
I want to talk to you about two things today. The first is my health report card, and the second is an opportunity to provide your family and friends with a unique and personal seasonal gift that will also be a blessing to our family. First the health report card...
This week I return to OHSU's Knight Cancer Center for a CT Scan Friday that will track my 'unruly cells' growth and development. I have had a couple of areas, masses, or tumors depending on the vernacular, growing slowly despite the two drugs I am on. For the most part I have been feeling very well and my energy level has been good. I hit a high of 14.1 on the hemoglobin scale which put me in the normal range. A far cry from the 5.6 which put me in the "Wow, how are you not passing out?" area of the scale when this all began. Monday I will return to Portland for my eye test with Dr. Gupta, and then my meeting with Dr. Matthew Taylor. He has been in dialogue with Novartis, the sponsor of my Clinical Trial, about adding a third 'investigational' drug to my cancer cocktail. I mean what I am about to say with my whole heart...I pray to Sweet Jesus every night that these drugs will shrink my tumors and even, with the Grace of God and the Power of the Holy Spirit, heal me. But if I knew that they wouldn't, but the information gained from this trial would save one child or family member from going through what my wife and children have gone through, then it would be worth it. Remember an earlier lesson cancer taught me, and I hope you...Cancer is a family disease housed in one person. I am the host but I am far from the only one in my family impacted by the 'Emperor of All Maladies'; that is, cancer. A friend asked me, "How does it feel to be a guinea pig?" I said, "I always thought they were kind of cute!" Your thoughts and prayers have sustained me, bolstered me, and accompanied me in the middle of the night when the Dark Voice tried to creep in, and I ask and urge you to continue them on my behalf.
Secondly, I want to share with you what I hope you will find to be a wonderful gift idea for friends, family, or even yourself that will also help the Keim family as we move forward with our lives. A little background and another lesson from cancer first. Every cancer host will know exactly what I am saying and I hope this lesson will help the rest of you understand us. When the Doctor says, "You have cancer.", you immediately think you are going to die next Friday. Especially in my case when he added, "Your cancer is fatal, there is no cure." I immediately heard Bill Murray in Scrooged, when he saw the man frozen that he had refused to help, saying, "Hey, throw me a bone here, man!" Because I am a sick and twisted guy, I also heard Rodney Dangerfield in my head saying, "Can I get a second opinion?" Then Dangerfield's Doctor said, "Sure, and you're fat too." You laugh or cry, and sometimes both in a single instant.
I was also reminded of Paul's letter in the New Testament to the Church at Thessalonica. It seems the people there were so sure that Jesus would return immediately that they just sat back and put everything on hold. Paul's letter advised them that God works on His own time schedule and that they should plant their crops, and tend their sheep, just in case the Lord didn't return next Friday. And so it was with me and cancer. Though it is no secret that my speeches are deeper, richer, and more focused than ever before, fewer people are calling now to have me speak, except locally, where I speak at no fee for community service. I think they are trying to be respectful of what they believe is my shrinking time with family and I appreciate that deeply. Some even think I am already gone. Remember the journal entries regarding, "I thought you were dead." from a college friend, and "Will you still be here in September?" Like the Thessalonians, my family and I still need to eat, sleep, and go on with our lives. That is where my dear friend, former protege and mentee, and current colleague Curtis Zimmerman comes in.
Curtis has been very direct with me in telling me that this is the time when he and others whom I have impacted can return the favor to our family. For those of you who do not know him, he is an amazing man, a Father, Husband, and former Universal Studios and Carnival Cruise Lines Entertainer of the Year. He is a bestselling author, a man of faith, the Principal and Founder of the Zimmerman Group. I never met anyone like him and the early family dysfunction and learning disabilities that this man has overcome are Mount Denali like in their scope. He was a mime for 25 years and when I met him he wanted to begin to tell his story using words but had received advice that because he didn't have a college education, he would not be able to speak on college or corporate campuses. I listened to him once and told him he could speak anywhere he wanted as his message "Learning to Fail Successfully, and Living Life at Performance Level" were as good as anything I had ever seen. Thousands of campuses and hundreds of corporations proved me right. The man has a gift and one of them is getting up in my grill and convincing me to provide others with an opportunity to help me as I have helped others.
Curtis is now mentoring me on a national plan to have my books made available to high school and college students across America and Canada with individual and corporate funding. We will make a national announcement about that plan soon. For now, I am pleased to offer a Special Edition of my book 'The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt' for this holiday season. This is my favorite of the books I have written because it integrates and introduces the reader to the beauty of the 'Lessons of The Tao' by Lao Tzu and the 'Parables' of Jesus of Nazareth. They are at once eloquent, ancient, and relevant to modern life.The Tao says, "The oceans are greater than the rivers and the lakes not because it exalts itself over them, but because it is lower, and as such, all life runs into it." Jesus counsels, "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. Blessed are the meek." You will be inspired, amazed, and in wonder about how two writings offered 2500 years apart could be so in synch and applicable to today. The Tao advises, "Governing a country is like cooking a small fish. Too much poking around will ruin it.", and "Knowledge of others is information. Knowledge of self is true power." Jesus encourages, "Love your neighbor as you love your self.", and "Don't judge others, for in the end, you will receive the same judgement."
I have printed 500 Special Limited Edition copies of The Tao of Christ: The Way of Love for a World of Hurt now available at $39.95 which includes shipping, numbering (1/500, 2/500 etc.) and a personal message as requested by you. I would encourage you to order them at willkeim.com, see the Shop or Store area, where you can utilize your credit card. I can also take phone orders at 541-740-1318 using the secure Square. ***In either case, please send me a text, or email at willkeim@willkeim.com telling me where you want the book shipped and with what message. If you do not email or text, I will sign the book to you with a message from me directed to you. There are only 500 copies so please act today! I would appreciate your order by December 18th at the latest so that I can ship them out on the 19th and get them to their destination by Christmas. A special thank you to Curtis for prodding and pushing me. Frankly, we need the income, the book is great, and I thank you in advance for your friendship and patronage.
Thank you all for your continue interest in my journey. It would have been unbearable alone. I give you my love and friendship as you have extended yours to me! Blessings,
Will Keim
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Cancer Sure Takes A Lot Of Time: Thank You For The Therapy!
Dear Friends,
Yesterday I went up to the Center for Health and Healing at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland, Oregon for my every three week check-up and my six week CT Scan. I was accompanied by my friend Matt Boring, Corvallis High School Principal. Matt was JJ and Hannah's Principal for their Senior Year at CHS, and serves as Sami Keim Arnst's and my boss as Softball Coaches at CHS. He also is Christa Keim Schmeder's supervisor in her role as a teacher at the school. We have become good friends and he wanted to support me by taking me up for the visit. He has also been, in harmony with Athletic Director Bob Holt, the driving force behind the catch up we have done in reaching Title IX equity with the softball field improvements at the school.
The day started with a trip up the tram to OHSU's campus on the hill and an ultra sound of my heart. Then down the mountain to an appointment with Dr. Matt Taylor, my oncologist on the 7th floor. We moved quickly to the Casey Eye Clinic on the 11th floor for an eye exam (one of the potential side effects of the investigational drugs impacts the eyes) and then to the 3rd floor for a CT scan and blood draw. The eventful day at OHSU concluded on the 12th floor at the Research Pharmacy to pick up the drugs. A quick stop at Gustav's Bargarten in Salem for late lunch brought the greater part of 10 hours to a close. Thanks to Matt for driving us home as even with sunglasses on, my dilated eyes made the overcast Oregon Fall afternoon look like a Southern California Summer beach day.
We do this every three weeks, with the CT Scan every six weeks and Echo Cardiograms replacing it on the off treatment day. They are doing all they can to keep me alive and well and I am thankful. Dr. Matthew Taylor said, "You look well. You don't look like someone who has cancer." Matt Boring and I talked about the impact of cancer on our high school on our drive as we have lost a beloved soccer coach recently to brain cancer and have a band instructor and her husband both fighting the disease along with me. That's four people, their families, friends, and co-workers at one high school in a small town. Makes you stop and think.
My results were mostly good with all but one tumor shrinking or staying the same. The one tumor that is growing slowly is near my intestines again and Dr. Taylor thinks it could create the same bleeding problem I had before. So next Tuesday November 3rd I will meet with Dr. John Vetto at OHSU. He is a surgical oncologist as one of the three options I talked about with Dr. Taylor is surgical removal of the tumor. There are other drug therapy options available, and a newly approved drug combination, but the surgery might be the best. I was sitting with Traci Klink Garets, our dear friend who herself is battling breast cancer with radiation, and Donna when I got the news from Dr. Taylor. GOD...is was good not to be alone. Every time I am riding with a buddy like Matt Boring or sitting next to my amazing wife and a 30 year friend, my heart aches for anyone who is facing cancer alone. And more so for the children whose lives really haven't gotten started yet. This morning I was talking with Mark Hartley to whom I spoke to as a Freshman at the University of Redlands in 1986 and with whom I have been friends with since that night and I ask him to pray for me. He said, "God, please be with Will..." That is, he went to prayer immediately and taught me something. Why wait?
He finished his prayer and then we said goodbye. I felt better. This afternoon, the event known as Addie, my Granddaughter, will come over after pre-school and my mind will shift from thinking about cancer to trying to create memories for her and see the world through her amazed filled eyes. Last week I found an apple at Market of Choice with red flesh and Addie leapt with joy when I cut her a piece of it to eat and she saw the color. It reminded me of taking Hannah to Char Burgess's house in Redlands years ago during a visit to speak for her as the Dean of Students when Char and her husband Larry cut a blood orange open and made Hannah a glass of red orange juice. She sat in wonder! Talks about it to this day.
Cancer sure takes a lot of time. Thank God. I want it to take a lot of time. I want to live a lot of time.
Every third Sunday night I think about all the time I will spend the next day and about the person's time, in this case Matt Boring, that my visit to OHSU will take. Then I get over that quickly because one day I know I won't be going up there anymore and I want that day to be as far off in the future as I can imagine. I want to live each day I get as if it were a red fleshed apple or a blood orange glass of juice. I want to rekindle my sense of amazement at every breath and every moment I am blessed to receive. Thich Nhat Hanh calls it Mindfulness. Buddha talked about Active Inactivity. Being present in the moment is the message. And frankly, I am left with this...
Typing this message to you and your reading of it is really my therapy. I can vent, cry, share, commiserate, and reveal here and know that somewhere someone cares. In that way, I am blessed beyond all measure. When you get not so good news as a cancer patient it feels so very alone. Then, because of you, because of friends like Matt, Traci, and Mark, because of Donna and my children and their husbands, and especially Addie with an assist from Harvey, I am lifted out of my self absorption and my moment of fear and panic into the circle of life. Into hope, faith, and love. Cancer sure takes a lot of time and I get through it because of you and the 'therapy of care' you provide for me. So, thanks again for being there. I will post again after my visit with Dr. Vetto next Tuesday because I not only want you in the loop...I desperately need you in the loop. Get yourselves screened sometime soon, and call, text, or email someone you haven't talked to in awhile and let them know you were thinking of them.
Blessings,
Will
Yesterday I went up to the Center for Health and Healing at the Oregon Health Sciences University in Portland, Oregon for my every three week check-up and my six week CT Scan. I was accompanied by my friend Matt Boring, Corvallis High School Principal. Matt was JJ and Hannah's Principal for their Senior Year at CHS, and serves as Sami Keim Arnst's and my boss as Softball Coaches at CHS. He also is Christa Keim Schmeder's supervisor in her role as a teacher at the school. We have become good friends and he wanted to support me by taking me up for the visit. He has also been, in harmony with Athletic Director Bob Holt, the driving force behind the catch up we have done in reaching Title IX equity with the softball field improvements at the school.
The day started with a trip up the tram to OHSU's campus on the hill and an ultra sound of my heart. Then down the mountain to an appointment with Dr. Matt Taylor, my oncologist on the 7th floor. We moved quickly to the Casey Eye Clinic on the 11th floor for an eye exam (one of the potential side effects of the investigational drugs impacts the eyes) and then to the 3rd floor for a CT scan and blood draw. The eventful day at OHSU concluded on the 12th floor at the Research Pharmacy to pick up the drugs. A quick stop at Gustav's Bargarten in Salem for late lunch brought the greater part of 10 hours to a close. Thanks to Matt for driving us home as even with sunglasses on, my dilated eyes made the overcast Oregon Fall afternoon look like a Southern California Summer beach day.
We do this every three weeks, with the CT Scan every six weeks and Echo Cardiograms replacing it on the off treatment day. They are doing all they can to keep me alive and well and I am thankful. Dr. Matthew Taylor said, "You look well. You don't look like someone who has cancer." Matt Boring and I talked about the impact of cancer on our high school on our drive as we have lost a beloved soccer coach recently to brain cancer and have a band instructor and her husband both fighting the disease along with me. That's four people, their families, friends, and co-workers at one high school in a small town. Makes you stop and think.
My results were mostly good with all but one tumor shrinking or staying the same. The one tumor that is growing slowly is near my intestines again and Dr. Taylor thinks it could create the same bleeding problem I had before. So next Tuesday November 3rd I will meet with Dr. John Vetto at OHSU. He is a surgical oncologist as one of the three options I talked about with Dr. Taylor is surgical removal of the tumor. There are other drug therapy options available, and a newly approved drug combination, but the surgery might be the best. I was sitting with Traci Klink Garets, our dear friend who herself is battling breast cancer with radiation, and Donna when I got the news from Dr. Taylor. GOD...is was good not to be alone. Every time I am riding with a buddy like Matt Boring or sitting next to my amazing wife and a 30 year friend, my heart aches for anyone who is facing cancer alone. And more so for the children whose lives really haven't gotten started yet. This morning I was talking with Mark Hartley to whom I spoke to as a Freshman at the University of Redlands in 1986 and with whom I have been friends with since that night and I ask him to pray for me. He said, "God, please be with Will..." That is, he went to prayer immediately and taught me something. Why wait?
He finished his prayer and then we said goodbye. I felt better. This afternoon, the event known as Addie, my Granddaughter, will come over after pre-school and my mind will shift from thinking about cancer to trying to create memories for her and see the world through her amazed filled eyes. Last week I found an apple at Market of Choice with red flesh and Addie leapt with joy when I cut her a piece of it to eat and she saw the color. It reminded me of taking Hannah to Char Burgess's house in Redlands years ago during a visit to speak for her as the Dean of Students when Char and her husband Larry cut a blood orange open and made Hannah a glass of red orange juice. She sat in wonder! Talks about it to this day.
Cancer sure takes a lot of time. Thank God. I want it to take a lot of time. I want to live a lot of time.
Every third Sunday night I think about all the time I will spend the next day and about the person's time, in this case Matt Boring, that my visit to OHSU will take. Then I get over that quickly because one day I know I won't be going up there anymore and I want that day to be as far off in the future as I can imagine. I want to live each day I get as if it were a red fleshed apple or a blood orange glass of juice. I want to rekindle my sense of amazement at every breath and every moment I am blessed to receive. Thich Nhat Hanh calls it Mindfulness. Buddha talked about Active Inactivity. Being present in the moment is the message. And frankly, I am left with this...
Typing this message to you and your reading of it is really my therapy. I can vent, cry, share, commiserate, and reveal here and know that somewhere someone cares. In that way, I am blessed beyond all measure. When you get not so good news as a cancer patient it feels so very alone. Then, because of you, because of friends like Matt, Traci, and Mark, because of Donna and my children and their husbands, and especially Addie with an assist from Harvey, I am lifted out of my self absorption and my moment of fear and panic into the circle of life. Into hope, faith, and love. Cancer sure takes a lot of time and I get through it because of you and the 'therapy of care' you provide for me. So, thanks again for being there. I will post again after my visit with Dr. Vetto next Tuesday because I not only want you in the loop...I desperately need you in the loop. Get yourselves screened sometime soon, and call, text, or email someone you haven't talked to in awhile and let them know you were thinking of them.
Blessings,
Will
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
A Constant Reminder
Dear Friends,
I believe it was Hemingway who borrowed from a John Donne poem when he utilized the statement, "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee." I went to my October 5th battery of tests for the Clinical Trial I am on and the results were very positive. Liver, kidney, lung, and heart functions all positive. 14.1 Hemoglobin! Resting heart beat in the '70's, blood pressure great. After looking at all the results, Dr. Matt Taylor said, "I've got nothing for you." Meaning, "I cannot find anything wrong." I said, "You just gave me everything." He smiled and we hugged. I was blessed to have my son-in-law Steve Arnst with me as the family now divides up the escort service since Donna went back to work. I want everyone in my family to meet Dr. Taylor whose positivism is clearly a factor, along with your prayers, in my the success so far in my journey and battle with cancer.
The constant reminder came when Steve and I were walking to my appointment and a woman was laying on the floor in one of the hallways being comforted and cared for by a number of health providers at OHSU. She had become weary on her trip to the office and had to lay down. She was slight, bald, and cancer had obviously been very, very hard on her. When you get to the 7th Floor at the Center for Health and Healing at OHSU, we all have something in common. I looked in her eyes as I went by. Pre-cancer, I used to walk by the Oncology Department at the Corvallis Clinic and not look in because I did not want anyone to think I was staring. At least that is what I told myself. In retrospect, I likely thought if I didn't look in then I would never be there. Now, I looked down at her because I did not want her to think that I thought there was something wrong with her, she looked funny, or I didn't see her.
Three weeks earlier as I sat on the 3rd floor waiting for my blood draw, a woman sat in a wheel chair in the corner waiting to be scanned. I get a CT scan every six weeks so I knew what she was waiting for because she was drinking from the world's largest glass of water. The only way to explain her to you was that she looked like the people who we have seen in the Concentration Camp survivor films from World War II. She was painfully emaciated, all skin and bone. Three sips of the water and she had to bend over to rest, which she could do from the waist down nearly flat because she was so skeletal. It was was heartbreaking. I could have picked out the 7th floor people on the 3rd floor because we were the ones looking as positively toward her as we could. The other folks, quite understandably, looked away, like we often do with homeless people, as if she wasn't there. My son JJ was with me that day and he was visibly moved as was Steve this trip at the woman in the hallway.
The Dark Voice said to me, "What if that is you one day? Can you handle it? Will your children be able to handle it? Will anyone come with you? Will you want to live like that?" I do not want to be offensive to any of you who do not believe, who are not theistic. I respect your strength and courage to be able to face and live on your own. I mean that. I am not that strong and I went immediately to God and asked for comfort, guidance, health, healing, and a miracle for me, and the women I was seeing. I asked God to silence the dark voice and used the statement that Jesus made to Peter when Peter tried to get him to avoid Jerusalem. Jesus said, "Get behind me Satan." In other words, "Shut the fuck up. I am trying to live my life here. I am trying to fulfill my destiny." The constant reminder to me is that while I am doing great right now, I may not be doing great later. And even if I am battling and the medication is working, it is not working right now for someone else. Since I believe we are all connected, we need not ask for whom the bell tolls, it toils for you and me and all of us.
I shared what I had seen with Dr. Taylor and told him that sometimes I feel guilty because I am doing so well. He said he didn't allow any Survivor Guilt with his patients, and that I was something he could hold up to himself and his staff in the midst of the terrible week they had experienced the week before. Steve said on the way home, "Gee, I wonder what a terrible week is for an oncologist like Dr. Taylor?" A great question from a great son-in-law who took a day off work to face the music with me.
Again, the lesson seems to be, "Get in the moment. Seize the day. Be present." We all behave as if we will always be here, the future is secure, and we have control. Control is such an illusion. We are all one phone call away from our knees. Perhaps we should all get on our knees more often when things are going well for the times to come when they aren't going so well. Practice makes perfect. As my friend Geoffrey Canada of the Harlem Children's Zone said, "The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it."
Yesterday I met with the boys and girls soccer teams at Corvallis High School to talk with them about the death of former boys coach John Callahan. JC was beloved and the players were really reeling. Further, they played their rival Crescent Valley that night. 500 shirts were given to all the players from both teams, alumni, and anyone who had been coached by John. He would have wanted them to play the game he loved with all his heart. As you can likely discern, he died of cancer. I talked to them about the rain falling on the just and unjust alike. I told them that I could not prove to them the existence of God, but I could guarantee JC's immortality if they would always remember him, his lessons, his love of them and the sport, and then live each moment with passion and presence. I reminded them of the four student athletes; Beamer, Bingham, Burnett, and Glick who took down the terrorists on United Flight 93. Rick Reilly said they did what all great athletes can do: Keep their composure amid chaos; Form a plan when all seems lost; and Find the guts to carry it out. Lives were lost but many more saved on the ground because they looked death straight in the face and carried on.
I asked the young men and women soccer players to do the same, and through tears they said they would.
And that is exactly what I am trying to do. I am scared to my core that I will wind up in the corner wheel chair on the 3rd floor. Please don't let my outer profile completely hide my inner fear. But I am trying to look at it square in the eye and not look away. I am trying to use the time and health I have right now to do some good for someone else. This also gives me hope and purpose. I pray every night for all cancer patients, their families, and their Doctors, Nurses, and Researchers. I am not asking you to look directly at your mortality, but I am pleading with you, begging you, asking you with all my heart to look at your opportunities to be the person you have always wanted to be, help others on their journey, and tell the people you love that you do love them. As Coach Bruce told JJ and his football teammates shortly before cancer took him home, "Boys, it's all about love. Love is all that matters. Love each other as a band of brothers." Bruce was right. Jesus was right when he said, "Love your neighbors as you love yourself."
My current health is the result of great research, excellent doctoring by Dr. Taylor, good meds, your love and prayers, and the healing power of God to look into a person and cast out the demon diseases within. Let love, not the fear of the future, be the constant reminder that life is good, life is hard, and the love we give one another makes the road less bumpy, the pain more bearable, and the good times even better. Here is your Constant Reminder for today: I love you all!
Will
I believe it was Hemingway who borrowed from a John Donne poem when he utilized the statement, "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee." I went to my October 5th battery of tests for the Clinical Trial I am on and the results were very positive. Liver, kidney, lung, and heart functions all positive. 14.1 Hemoglobin! Resting heart beat in the '70's, blood pressure great. After looking at all the results, Dr. Matt Taylor said, "I've got nothing for you." Meaning, "I cannot find anything wrong." I said, "You just gave me everything." He smiled and we hugged. I was blessed to have my son-in-law Steve Arnst with me as the family now divides up the escort service since Donna went back to work. I want everyone in my family to meet Dr. Taylor whose positivism is clearly a factor, along with your prayers, in my the success so far in my journey and battle with cancer.
The constant reminder came when Steve and I were walking to my appointment and a woman was laying on the floor in one of the hallways being comforted and cared for by a number of health providers at OHSU. She had become weary on her trip to the office and had to lay down. She was slight, bald, and cancer had obviously been very, very hard on her. When you get to the 7th Floor at the Center for Health and Healing at OHSU, we all have something in common. I looked in her eyes as I went by. Pre-cancer, I used to walk by the Oncology Department at the Corvallis Clinic and not look in because I did not want anyone to think I was staring. At least that is what I told myself. In retrospect, I likely thought if I didn't look in then I would never be there. Now, I looked down at her because I did not want her to think that I thought there was something wrong with her, she looked funny, or I didn't see her.
Three weeks earlier as I sat on the 3rd floor waiting for my blood draw, a woman sat in a wheel chair in the corner waiting to be scanned. I get a CT scan every six weeks so I knew what she was waiting for because she was drinking from the world's largest glass of water. The only way to explain her to you was that she looked like the people who we have seen in the Concentration Camp survivor films from World War II. She was painfully emaciated, all skin and bone. Three sips of the water and she had to bend over to rest, which she could do from the waist down nearly flat because she was so skeletal. It was was heartbreaking. I could have picked out the 7th floor people on the 3rd floor because we were the ones looking as positively toward her as we could. The other folks, quite understandably, looked away, like we often do with homeless people, as if she wasn't there. My son JJ was with me that day and he was visibly moved as was Steve this trip at the woman in the hallway.
The Dark Voice said to me, "What if that is you one day? Can you handle it? Will your children be able to handle it? Will anyone come with you? Will you want to live like that?" I do not want to be offensive to any of you who do not believe, who are not theistic. I respect your strength and courage to be able to face and live on your own. I mean that. I am not that strong and I went immediately to God and asked for comfort, guidance, health, healing, and a miracle for me, and the women I was seeing. I asked God to silence the dark voice and used the statement that Jesus made to Peter when Peter tried to get him to avoid Jerusalem. Jesus said, "Get behind me Satan." In other words, "Shut the fuck up. I am trying to live my life here. I am trying to fulfill my destiny." The constant reminder to me is that while I am doing great right now, I may not be doing great later. And even if I am battling and the medication is working, it is not working right now for someone else. Since I believe we are all connected, we need not ask for whom the bell tolls, it toils for you and me and all of us.
I shared what I had seen with Dr. Taylor and told him that sometimes I feel guilty because I am doing so well. He said he didn't allow any Survivor Guilt with his patients, and that I was something he could hold up to himself and his staff in the midst of the terrible week they had experienced the week before. Steve said on the way home, "Gee, I wonder what a terrible week is for an oncologist like Dr. Taylor?" A great question from a great son-in-law who took a day off work to face the music with me.
Again, the lesson seems to be, "Get in the moment. Seize the day. Be present." We all behave as if we will always be here, the future is secure, and we have control. Control is such an illusion. We are all one phone call away from our knees. Perhaps we should all get on our knees more often when things are going well for the times to come when they aren't going so well. Practice makes perfect. As my friend Geoffrey Canada of the Harlem Children's Zone said, "The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it."
Yesterday I met with the boys and girls soccer teams at Corvallis High School to talk with them about the death of former boys coach John Callahan. JC was beloved and the players were really reeling. Further, they played their rival Crescent Valley that night. 500 shirts were given to all the players from both teams, alumni, and anyone who had been coached by John. He would have wanted them to play the game he loved with all his heart. As you can likely discern, he died of cancer. I talked to them about the rain falling on the just and unjust alike. I told them that I could not prove to them the existence of God, but I could guarantee JC's immortality if they would always remember him, his lessons, his love of them and the sport, and then live each moment with passion and presence. I reminded them of the four student athletes; Beamer, Bingham, Burnett, and Glick who took down the terrorists on United Flight 93. Rick Reilly said they did what all great athletes can do: Keep their composure amid chaos; Form a plan when all seems lost; and Find the guts to carry it out. Lives were lost but many more saved on the ground because they looked death straight in the face and carried on.
I asked the young men and women soccer players to do the same, and through tears they said they would.
And that is exactly what I am trying to do. I am scared to my core that I will wind up in the corner wheel chair on the 3rd floor. Please don't let my outer profile completely hide my inner fear. But I am trying to look at it square in the eye and not look away. I am trying to use the time and health I have right now to do some good for someone else. This also gives me hope and purpose. I pray every night for all cancer patients, their families, and their Doctors, Nurses, and Researchers. I am not asking you to look directly at your mortality, but I am pleading with you, begging you, asking you with all my heart to look at your opportunities to be the person you have always wanted to be, help others on their journey, and tell the people you love that you do love them. As Coach Bruce told JJ and his football teammates shortly before cancer took him home, "Boys, it's all about love. Love is all that matters. Love each other as a band of brothers." Bruce was right. Jesus was right when he said, "Love your neighbors as you love yourself."
My current health is the result of great research, excellent doctoring by Dr. Taylor, good meds, your love and prayers, and the healing power of God to look into a person and cast out the demon diseases within. Let love, not the fear of the future, be the constant reminder that life is good, life is hard, and the love we give one another makes the road less bumpy, the pain more bearable, and the good times even better. Here is your Constant Reminder for today: I love you all!
Will
Friday, September 25, 2015
"God Moves Us In Mysterious Ways" or "Listen To Your Inner Voice"
Dear Friends,
I received an email from my dear friend Allan Hardcastle in California. Allan is a Judge and was a Residential Life Staff member at The University Of The Pacific. We have been friends for 40 years. He and Father Robert Silva, Tim Griffin, and Craig Cruikshank came to visit me on what I teased them was "The Will Keim Farewell Tour." I have to use humor to deal with the seriousness of my disease. I do not mean to offend anyone or give the impression I am not taking my cancer seriously. It has my full attention. Once when I tried to read an emotional letter to an Alumni gathering at UOP, Allan stepped up out of the crowd to finish my reading as I was overcome with emotion. He is a good man.
He wrote to me on September 19th, "God moves us in mysterious ways. As Tim knows I just thought it was really important to get up and see Will and now I think I now why!" I had encouraged all four of my dear friends to get themselves checked as melanoma takes on a whole new seriousness when it goes from the skin to the inner workings of our bodies. Allan listened to me and went to see his Doctor. A spot on his upper left arm was diagnosed and biopsied as melanoma. The dermatologist praised him for getting early and thinks the cancer is localized. Allan concluded, "Thanks again Will for your inspiration. I will never forget it." While his heart was focused on being here for me, he was being guided toward a discovery about his own health that might save his life.
God does move us in mysterious ways. Please...for me, for your family, for yourself...listen to your inner voice and get checked out for changes in your moles, or other places on your body. Ask your Doctor to particularly check out your back. My daughter Sami had mentioned a place on my back and actually suggested on more than one occasion that I have it looked at. I don't often see my back and would forget her advice. Perhaps if I had been fully in the present moment and heard her words my situation might be different. That said, I want to inspire you with the lessons cancer has taught me without you having to get it yourself. Please...get checked out!
Allan came to give me his love, friendship, and brotherhood. The Creator used that good heart of his to lead him to an awareness that might keep him on the planet longer. For that, we can all be thankful and give praise to God. You matter...all lives matter. It is an amazing fact of life that every time we reach out to help someone else, more blessings than we can give are directed back at us. Curtis Zimmerman calls it living your life with a theory of abundance, not scarcity. There is enough love for all of us. Have a great weekend and make an appointment on Monday to see your Physician.
Blessings,
Will Keim
I received an email from my dear friend Allan Hardcastle in California. Allan is a Judge and was a Residential Life Staff member at The University Of The Pacific. We have been friends for 40 years. He and Father Robert Silva, Tim Griffin, and Craig Cruikshank came to visit me on what I teased them was "The Will Keim Farewell Tour." I have to use humor to deal with the seriousness of my disease. I do not mean to offend anyone or give the impression I am not taking my cancer seriously. It has my full attention. Once when I tried to read an emotional letter to an Alumni gathering at UOP, Allan stepped up out of the crowd to finish my reading as I was overcome with emotion. He is a good man.
He wrote to me on September 19th, "God moves us in mysterious ways. As Tim knows I just thought it was really important to get up and see Will and now I think I now why!" I had encouraged all four of my dear friends to get themselves checked as melanoma takes on a whole new seriousness when it goes from the skin to the inner workings of our bodies. Allan listened to me and went to see his Doctor. A spot on his upper left arm was diagnosed and biopsied as melanoma. The dermatologist praised him for getting early and thinks the cancer is localized. Allan concluded, "Thanks again Will for your inspiration. I will never forget it." While his heart was focused on being here for me, he was being guided toward a discovery about his own health that might save his life.
God does move us in mysterious ways. Please...for me, for your family, for yourself...listen to your inner voice and get checked out for changes in your moles, or other places on your body. Ask your Doctor to particularly check out your back. My daughter Sami had mentioned a place on my back and actually suggested on more than one occasion that I have it looked at. I don't often see my back and would forget her advice. Perhaps if I had been fully in the present moment and heard her words my situation might be different. That said, I want to inspire you with the lessons cancer has taught me without you having to get it yourself. Please...get checked out!
Allan came to give me his love, friendship, and brotherhood. The Creator used that good heart of his to lead him to an awareness that might keep him on the planet longer. For that, we can all be thankful and give praise to God. You matter...all lives matter. It is an amazing fact of life that every time we reach out to help someone else, more blessings than we can give are directed back at us. Curtis Zimmerman calls it living your life with a theory of abundance, not scarcity. There is enough love for all of us. Have a great weekend and make an appointment on Monday to see your Physician.
Blessings,
Will Keim
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Reports Of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated!
Dear Friends,
Greetings! I am pleased to tell you that last Monday's CT Scan revealed that for the second straight test period all of my tumors are shrinking again! Praise be to the Novartis Meds, Dr. Matt Taylor, your prayers and thoughts, God, and Phil Knight, not necessarily in that order. It is a sad fact that God and I used to talk primarily when my plane shook at 35,000 feet. Now we converse every day about a variety of things. Your prayers and good thoughts continue to lift me up. Novartis has provided cancer drugs that make me realize that I haven't felt this good since the '60's. Dr. Matt Taylor and his staff continue their excellent care of me and Matt calls with the news, good or bad, every time, same day. Phil and Penny Knight, having already given 100 million dollars to the OHSU Cancer Center decided they just hadn't done enough and threw down a 500 million dollar matching challenge, which was met by the amazing Fund Raisers at OHSU. What humbling generosity and kindness towards people they will never meet but whom, like me, will have a fighting chance because of their philanthropic giving.
Since we last talked I have had two experiences that I wanted to share with you. The first was to get reunited with my youth baseball Coach Bill Viverto. He had called me to let me know that my teammate on the 1970 World Championship Colt League Team Tommy Pokorski had died of a heart attack. Tommy was our ace, our team leader, and a great guy. I invited Coach V to come to the University of Redlands to hear me speak and afterwards we out for coffee with former Redlands students Joe Richardson, Doug Everheart, and Doug Adams. Joe is an attorney, Doug E is a Student Affairs Administrator at UC Irvine, and Doug A is a Board of Trustees Member at Redlands. We talked until 11 pm which for old guys is late! Beer has been replaced by coffee but the fellowship with real and deep. Coach V has coached for over 50 years, has 1100 wins to his credit, and has mentored 17 major league players in his life. He has always been, along with my college Coach Dr. Tom Stubbs, the standard by which I attempted to Coach my teams over the years. Coach told me that our 1970 team was the first youth team enshrined in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. Wow! What an honor! Rest in peace Tommy P, and thanks to Coach V, Joe, Doug, and Doug for making the trip.
The second experience led to the title of this blog entry. One of my college friends contacted me on Facebook and said she thought I had already died and was pleased to find out I was still alive. At least I have that going for me! This got me to thinking...how many folks around the country have accepted the melanoma charts giving me little chance of surviving? My close friends and associates likely know about this blog or my Facebook entries. I have noticed however that fewer professional colleagues are calling and I want to make this very clear...I am alive and doing well, and my speeches and presentations are better than ever. Cancer has focused me and taught me so many lessons that I am working hard to pass on to my audiences. I want, and need, to work, to feed my family and buy toys for my Grandchildren. I am making a concerted effort to increase book sales and work closer to home because in reality I do not know how much time I have left. I honestly haven't felt this good in two years and I am optimistic. Cancer, however, has taught me the need to be in the moment, focused on today, and not take time, people, or places for granted. Anyone considering me for a speaking event is invited to contact Vice President Char Burgess at the University of Redlands, Coach Betsy Hipple at Claremont Mckenna College, Vice President Tujuana Julian at Drury University, Vice President Chuck Cleveland at Whitman College, Dr. Tom Hill or Liz Kurt at Iowa State University, Dr. Eileen Sullivan at Elmhurst College, Coach Jackson Vaughan at Linfield College, Dr. Gary Dukes at Western Oregon University, or Laurie Prince at Seattle University to check up on me and see how I am reaching their students. I have also spoken to firefighters, chiefs of police, and medical professionals in the last year.
Will Keim is open for prayers and good thoughts, and for business! Besides your concerns, the greatest gift you all could give me is to purchase books which provides educational opportunities for the readers, income for me, and the added ability of being home to spend more time with family. I am traveling and was honored to be selected as a Keynote Speaker for the Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values Western Conference in San Diego in April 2016. Recently Associate Athletic Director Dr. Henry Villegas of the University of New Mexico, and Freda Leurs, Director of Campus Life at Indiana State, bought a case of books for use with their students and in new student orientation classes. Iowa State University continues to provide a copy of "Keys To Success In College And Life" for each of the entering students. I am able to take orders now on Square making the effort easy and quick for my clients. Now is the time in my life when, because of the 'Ph.D. in Life' cancer is guiding me through, that I believe I have the most to say. I am also happy to tell you that my daughter Christa Keim Schmeder, Paul Strauss, and I are about to finish "Keys To Success In High School And Life" for high school students, their parents, and those who work with them. Christa and Paul are award winning educators in high school and middle school, and their insights to young students are amazing and spot on! I have never felt more creative in my life and I wanted you to know that and tell your friends. There is nothing like a look squarely in the face of your own mortality to speed up the creative energy and focus it on leaving a legacy.
So there you have it...Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated! I am not, nor will likely ever be, completely out of the woods. But right now, right here, at this moment, I am doing well and better than I deserve. 13.9 hemoglobin, up from 5.6! 74 heartbeat, down from 100. Blood pressure solidly in the great area, and all organs functioning well, and tumors shrinking. I have some things to say, some ideas to share, some lives to touch, and I am hoping that many of you will make that happen. I am well aware that I am not the only one wrestling with what one author called cancer, that is "The Emperor of All Maladies." I have begun discussion with a student group at the University of Nebraska about a national organization to help students and community members deal with the news that cancer has come into their lives. More on that will follow, but suffice it to say that there are some amazing students reaching out in their communities and changing lives. My thanks go out to all of you who continue to work me into your daily thoughts and prayers. It is making a huge difference in my attitude as I face my disease. Blessings to you and your families and please, be in touch and let me know if there is anything I can do to help you as you have reached out to me.
With love,
Will
Greetings! I am pleased to tell you that last Monday's CT Scan revealed that for the second straight test period all of my tumors are shrinking again! Praise be to the Novartis Meds, Dr. Matt Taylor, your prayers and thoughts, God, and Phil Knight, not necessarily in that order. It is a sad fact that God and I used to talk primarily when my plane shook at 35,000 feet. Now we converse every day about a variety of things. Your prayers and good thoughts continue to lift me up. Novartis has provided cancer drugs that make me realize that I haven't felt this good since the '60's. Dr. Matt Taylor and his staff continue their excellent care of me and Matt calls with the news, good or bad, every time, same day. Phil and Penny Knight, having already given 100 million dollars to the OHSU Cancer Center decided they just hadn't done enough and threw down a 500 million dollar matching challenge, which was met by the amazing Fund Raisers at OHSU. What humbling generosity and kindness towards people they will never meet but whom, like me, will have a fighting chance because of their philanthropic giving.
Since we last talked I have had two experiences that I wanted to share with you. The first was to get reunited with my youth baseball Coach Bill Viverto. He had called me to let me know that my teammate on the 1970 World Championship Colt League Team Tommy Pokorski had died of a heart attack. Tommy was our ace, our team leader, and a great guy. I invited Coach V to come to the University of Redlands to hear me speak and afterwards we out for coffee with former Redlands students Joe Richardson, Doug Everheart, and Doug Adams. Joe is an attorney, Doug E is a Student Affairs Administrator at UC Irvine, and Doug A is a Board of Trustees Member at Redlands. We talked until 11 pm which for old guys is late! Beer has been replaced by coffee but the fellowship with real and deep. Coach V has coached for over 50 years, has 1100 wins to his credit, and has mentored 17 major league players in his life. He has always been, along with my college Coach Dr. Tom Stubbs, the standard by which I attempted to Coach my teams over the years. Coach told me that our 1970 team was the first youth team enshrined in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. Wow! What an honor! Rest in peace Tommy P, and thanks to Coach V, Joe, Doug, and Doug for making the trip.
The second experience led to the title of this blog entry. One of my college friends contacted me on Facebook and said she thought I had already died and was pleased to find out I was still alive. At least I have that going for me! This got me to thinking...how many folks around the country have accepted the melanoma charts giving me little chance of surviving? My close friends and associates likely know about this blog or my Facebook entries. I have noticed however that fewer professional colleagues are calling and I want to make this very clear...I am alive and doing well, and my speeches and presentations are better than ever. Cancer has focused me and taught me so many lessons that I am working hard to pass on to my audiences. I want, and need, to work, to feed my family and buy toys for my Grandchildren. I am making a concerted effort to increase book sales and work closer to home because in reality I do not know how much time I have left. I honestly haven't felt this good in two years and I am optimistic. Cancer, however, has taught me the need to be in the moment, focused on today, and not take time, people, or places for granted. Anyone considering me for a speaking event is invited to contact Vice President Char Burgess at the University of Redlands, Coach Betsy Hipple at Claremont Mckenna College, Vice President Tujuana Julian at Drury University, Vice President Chuck Cleveland at Whitman College, Dr. Tom Hill or Liz Kurt at Iowa State University, Dr. Eileen Sullivan at Elmhurst College, Coach Jackson Vaughan at Linfield College, Dr. Gary Dukes at Western Oregon University, or Laurie Prince at Seattle University to check up on me and see how I am reaching their students. I have also spoken to firefighters, chiefs of police, and medical professionals in the last year.
Will Keim is open for prayers and good thoughts, and for business! Besides your concerns, the greatest gift you all could give me is to purchase books which provides educational opportunities for the readers, income for me, and the added ability of being home to spend more time with family. I am traveling and was honored to be selected as a Keynote Speaker for the Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values Western Conference in San Diego in April 2016. Recently Associate Athletic Director Dr. Henry Villegas of the University of New Mexico, and Freda Leurs, Director of Campus Life at Indiana State, bought a case of books for use with their students and in new student orientation classes. Iowa State University continues to provide a copy of "Keys To Success In College And Life" for each of the entering students. I am able to take orders now on Square making the effort easy and quick for my clients. Now is the time in my life when, because of the 'Ph.D. in Life' cancer is guiding me through, that I believe I have the most to say. I am also happy to tell you that my daughter Christa Keim Schmeder, Paul Strauss, and I are about to finish "Keys To Success In High School And Life" for high school students, their parents, and those who work with them. Christa and Paul are award winning educators in high school and middle school, and their insights to young students are amazing and spot on! I have never felt more creative in my life and I wanted you to know that and tell your friends. There is nothing like a look squarely in the face of your own mortality to speed up the creative energy and focus it on leaving a legacy.
So there you have it...Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated! I am not, nor will likely ever be, completely out of the woods. But right now, right here, at this moment, I am doing well and better than I deserve. 13.9 hemoglobin, up from 5.6! 74 heartbeat, down from 100. Blood pressure solidly in the great area, and all organs functioning well, and tumors shrinking. I have some things to say, some ideas to share, some lives to touch, and I am hoping that many of you will make that happen. I am well aware that I am not the only one wrestling with what one author called cancer, that is "The Emperor of All Maladies." I have begun discussion with a student group at the University of Nebraska about a national organization to help students and community members deal with the news that cancer has come into their lives. More on that will follow, but suffice it to say that there are some amazing students reaching out in their communities and changing lives. My thanks go out to all of you who continue to work me into your daily thoughts and prayers. It is making a huge difference in my attitude as I face my disease. Blessings to you and your families and please, be in touch and let me know if there is anything I can do to help you as you have reached out to me.
With love,
Will
Friday, August 7, 2015
21 Words That Will Hopefully Make Your Day...They Made Mine!
Dear Friends,
I wore number 21 in college baseball at the University Of The Pacific. Frankly, I wasn't very good but I lettered four years and finished .500, winning and losing the same amount. I made some very good friends and was coached and mentored by a great man, Dr. Tom Stubbs. I threw so slowly that when one of our opponents pitchers would hit one of our guys, our players would ask me not to retaliate because even if I hit them it wouldn't hurt and then their pitcher might pluck one of our guys again. Once when I foul tipped a ball at bat against future major league pitcher Dick Ruthven, my teammates gave me a standing ovation from the dugout. 6' 2", 165 pounds, zits, shoulder length blond hair, puka shells, no fast ball, and a .225 career lifetime hitter. What a catch. My roommate and I had a signal when we had women in the room. He would put his belt on the outside doorknob. My sign was that hell would freeze over. (Thanks to comedian Dennis Miller for the last line!)
Yesterday, 21 little words on the screen of my smart phone made my day. I hope they will give you joy as well. They were from my Doctor Matthew Taylor. I got a CT scan at 10:30 a.m. His message of 21 words came at 12.23 p.m.
"Hey Will,
I just got the CT report. It looks great. All the
tumors are shrinking. Congratulations.
See you soon,
Matthew"
I'm so emotional anymore with my cancer induced appreciation of each moment that I began to cry. That concerned Donna who was driving. I couldn't read it to her so I handed it to her. It was so short and to the point, just 21 little words, that she could read it without endangering her driving. I forwarded it to my Roman Catholic friend Tim who goes to mass everyday and prays for me each day. He texted right back, "That is so great news. Had mass offered for you this morning up in the novena. We do thank you Jesus, thank you mother Mary, thank you St. Ann. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah!" I sent the good news to Coach Don Patterson of the University of Connecticut football team who has been my friend for 20 years since his days at Western Illinois University. He called and said, "Praise God."
Don had tonsalur cancer and had six weeks of six daily radiations in a row followed by a day of chemo and then repeat. For six weeks! He is in remission and coaching again. I knew he would be filled with joy and understand my relief. Now you have the good news!
Stage 4 Melanoma does just go away folks and I want you to know that. But I am on new drugs, in a clinical study, and yesterday we won the battle if not the war. We do not know what might happen in the coming days. With Novartis' commitment to this study, Dr. Taylor's expertise, and your continued prayers and good positive thoughts, who knows? I do know the drugs are contributing to the shrinkage of my tumors. But hear me clearly when I tell you that I believe that your prayers and the power of God are shrinking them as well. And quite frankly, as the good book says, "If God be for us, who be against us?"
21 little words (counting CT as one for you english majors who were thinking it!:)) and my day was made. Perhaps the lesson is to take life one day at a time. Maybe that applies to those of with cancer and those of you who get so busy you get out of the moment. Right now is what we have, where we are, that which we can impact. Let us rejoice in this day. Let us find something good about it. We all know there are words to come that we do not want to hear or face, but right now, celebrate with me because you are part of it.
And lastly, how about a Doctor that emails less than two after a test with the good news! He is the busiest guy I know but he took time. I have an appointment with him on Monday, but his thoughtfulness will certainly make the weekend a lot better. I hope that in your time of need that you have:
1. Friends like you
2. A Doctor like Matt, and
3. Some faith to buoy you up when the news is good and when it isn't
This weekend Monsignor Robert Silva, my college campus minister, and three of my college mates, Dr. Tim Griffin, Craig Cruikshank, and Judge Alan Hardcastle are coming up from California to see me in what I dubbed the "Farewell Will Keim Tour." You have to laugh and find the humor or the seriousness of life and the situations in which you find yourself will grind you down and eat you up. I am happy and thankful for a caring Doctor who always seems to go the extra mile for me. I will have some good news to share with my buddies and my spiritual mentor. There is a rumor that the famous Irish healer Dr. John Jameson will be coming with them. I will let you know how that goes.
Blessings and thanks again for your support!
Will
#21
I wore number 21 in college baseball at the University Of The Pacific. Frankly, I wasn't very good but I lettered four years and finished .500, winning and losing the same amount. I made some very good friends and was coached and mentored by a great man, Dr. Tom Stubbs. I threw so slowly that when one of our opponents pitchers would hit one of our guys, our players would ask me not to retaliate because even if I hit them it wouldn't hurt and then their pitcher might pluck one of our guys again. Once when I foul tipped a ball at bat against future major league pitcher Dick Ruthven, my teammates gave me a standing ovation from the dugout. 6' 2", 165 pounds, zits, shoulder length blond hair, puka shells, no fast ball, and a .225 career lifetime hitter. What a catch. My roommate and I had a signal when we had women in the room. He would put his belt on the outside doorknob. My sign was that hell would freeze over. (Thanks to comedian Dennis Miller for the last line!)
Yesterday, 21 little words on the screen of my smart phone made my day. I hope they will give you joy as well. They were from my Doctor Matthew Taylor. I got a CT scan at 10:30 a.m. His message of 21 words came at 12.23 p.m.
"Hey Will,
I just got the CT report. It looks great. All the
tumors are shrinking. Congratulations.
See you soon,
Matthew"
I'm so emotional anymore with my cancer induced appreciation of each moment that I began to cry. That concerned Donna who was driving. I couldn't read it to her so I handed it to her. It was so short and to the point, just 21 little words, that she could read it without endangering her driving. I forwarded it to my Roman Catholic friend Tim who goes to mass everyday and prays for me each day. He texted right back, "That is so great news. Had mass offered for you this morning up in the novena. We do thank you Jesus, thank you mother Mary, thank you St. Ann. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah!" I sent the good news to Coach Don Patterson of the University of Connecticut football team who has been my friend for 20 years since his days at Western Illinois University. He called and said, "Praise God."
Don had tonsalur cancer and had six weeks of six daily radiations in a row followed by a day of chemo and then repeat. For six weeks! He is in remission and coaching again. I knew he would be filled with joy and understand my relief. Now you have the good news!
Stage 4 Melanoma does just go away folks and I want you to know that. But I am on new drugs, in a clinical study, and yesterday we won the battle if not the war. We do not know what might happen in the coming days. With Novartis' commitment to this study, Dr. Taylor's expertise, and your continued prayers and good positive thoughts, who knows? I do know the drugs are contributing to the shrinkage of my tumors. But hear me clearly when I tell you that I believe that your prayers and the power of God are shrinking them as well. And quite frankly, as the good book says, "If God be for us, who be against us?"
21 little words (counting CT as one for you english majors who were thinking it!:)) and my day was made. Perhaps the lesson is to take life one day at a time. Maybe that applies to those of with cancer and those of you who get so busy you get out of the moment. Right now is what we have, where we are, that which we can impact. Let us rejoice in this day. Let us find something good about it. We all know there are words to come that we do not want to hear or face, but right now, celebrate with me because you are part of it.
And lastly, how about a Doctor that emails less than two after a test with the good news! He is the busiest guy I know but he took time. I have an appointment with him on Monday, but his thoughtfulness will certainly make the weekend a lot better. I hope that in your time of need that you have:
1. Friends like you
2. A Doctor like Matt, and
3. Some faith to buoy you up when the news is good and when it isn't
This weekend Monsignor Robert Silva, my college campus minister, and three of my college mates, Dr. Tim Griffin, Craig Cruikshank, and Judge Alan Hardcastle are coming up from California to see me in what I dubbed the "Farewell Will Keim Tour." You have to laugh and find the humor or the seriousness of life and the situations in which you find yourself will grind you down and eat you up. I am happy and thankful for a caring Doctor who always seems to go the extra mile for me. I will have some good news to share with my buddies and my spiritual mentor. There is a rumor that the famous Irish healer Dr. John Jameson will be coming with them. I will let you know how that goes.
Blessings and thanks again for your support!
Will
#21
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
"Keim, K E I M, 4/3/54, Good Morning Everyone!"
Dear Friends,
If you have been, you are, or you have accompanied a person being treated for cancer, then you know the drill: "Your name please, and your birthdate." I have added the 'good morning everyone' just to break up the monotony for Lynn, the check in staff member at the Knight Cancer Center of the Oregon Health Sciences University where I am being treated. I have tried my best to be in a good mood and add some humor and levity to the 7th floor of the Center for Health & Healing as it is the Oncology floor and is by its nature a very serious place.
Yesterday our day started with a 5 a.m. wake up call and a 5:30 a.m. departure for Portland, 90 minutes away. I say 'our' not because I am speaking in the 'Royal We' but because it is Donna and I making the journey. She accompanies me on every trip to the Doctor and does it without once giving me the impression it is a task or that she would rather be doing something else. Hell...I would rather be doing something but she never lets on. I hope to live a while longer because when it comes to 'for better or for worse...' I need some more time to give her more of the better.
I have been on the Clinical Trial supervised by my Doctor Matt Taylor for one month now. I am taking experimental drugs at my request because the approved ones had stopped having much effect against my opponent, melanoma. I take eight pills in the morning and three at night, two hours of fasting before and one hour after each time. I have felt the conflict going on in my belly, without pain thank God, and knew that my drugs and my cancer were doing battle with each other. The day started with an eye exam, then blood test, then EKG, then meeting with Dr. Taylor, then lunch with Hannah and her Internship Coordinator Dr. Lynn Lashbrook (see smww.com), then an heart sonogram, taking of my meds, and a final EKG. It was quite a day and this is the Clinical Trial protocol.
It always makes me nervous when Dr. Taylor pulls up the screen with my test results. He sits facing it with Donna and I to his right. Last time he stared at it, looked very sad, and pushed it aside and said, "We don't need to look at this. Let's get you approved for the Clinical Study." He was clearly disappointed in the results. We have become friends, we pray for each other, and my case is personal for him, and me! Yesterday at 10:40 a.m., he looked and sounded nearly giddy. He told me my hemoglobin was 10.8, up from 5.8 three weeks ago and 9.9 two weeks ago. He said my internal bleeding had stopped. The scores indicated who was winning the battle between the meds and the 'unruly cells' and this battle was clearly being won by the meds. Upon his physical examination of me, he could not find the 4 cm tumor that had been growing under the skin near my ribs where the resting elbow meets the body. He said, "I am not even finding evidence of scar tissue." Do you remember your children or grandchildren opening a gift from under the Christmas tree? That is how he looked! I was happy for me, no, relieved and grateful was I. But I was equally happy to see him with at least a temporary victory in the battle. Can you imagine being an Oncologist? To see people in varying stages of living and dying, pain and suffering, fear and apprehension, every day. He and I gave each other the same look my fraternity brothers and I gave each other when they told me I had been invited to join and become a brother.
I am not posting "It's Over!" messages today, or "We Kicked It's Ass!' celebrations because Stage 4 Melanoma has a nasty habit of finding a way to change its course and direction and reappear. The study I am on is experimenting with five new drugs in addition to the big dosage duo I am now on to try and put the nail in the coffin of this disease. I am telling you today though that this is the best I have felt in over a year, can do two hours of work in my garden without passing out, and have put the events of two weeks ago behind me. Two weeks ago I am in the hospital taking six units of blood and having an irregular heart beat, fever, and other maladies. Today, I write you with good news. Isn't that how it is with cancer, and life? If we were smart, and the jury is still out on that, we would savor and dwell in each moment, in particular the good ones, the joyful ones, the ecstatic ones. We are however, at times, resentful about the past, and fearful about the future, unable to be present to the magic that is this moment.
In my mind I have the best Doctor in the world. He would reject that title due to his humility and good heart, but it is how I feel. Novartis has created new drugs to fight my disease that are working.
Dr. Taylor said, "Any joint pain?" "No." "Blurred vision?" "No." "Rash or hives"? "No." "Swelling or numbing?" "No." I have had no side effects from these medications either! What a blessing. My liver, kidneys, and organs are functioning well and have good numbers too. I do believe that the tipping point however, my key outlier, the reason this is happening is all of your good wishes and prayers. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't contact me by email, text, phone, or in person to tell me they are praying for me. From Maine to Florida, Iowa, Texas, Michigan, California, Alaska, Hawaii, Idaho, Pennsylvania and all points in between...you have been there for me. My secret hope, as I have stated before in this journal, is that God gets so tired of hearing my name raised by you in thought and prayer that he tells St. Peter, "We need to just heal him. I don't have time for all the Hail Marys, Holy Jesus' and Great God Almighties...have you seen my Son. Get Him on this, Pete."
(And the Dark Voice murmured..."But what will he say if his cancer returns, his hemo goes down, and the test results aren't so good?") First, I will say, "Shit!" Then I will trust in God to get me through this with dignity. As Marcus Borg said when asked about the afterlife, "The same God who buoyed me up through life will buoy me up through death." I cannot tell you the number of people of who have said to me, "We really didn't think you would do much in your life." I don't blame them. Like you, I have had some bumps, bruises, and abuses. But I never lost my faith or my belief that God was with me, with us, especially through the toughest times. Even death.
This week I was contacted by my friend Johnny Hartley in Iowa and Coach Bill Viverto in California to tell me that our best pitcher on the 1970 Colt League World Championship Team had died of a heart attack at his home in Hawaii. Tommy Pokorski was a big guy with a bigger heart that knew no strangers. He was All CIF in Basketball and Baseball and signed with the Boston Red Sox. Coach V was very emotional when we talked as that team was very special to him, and us. We were 22-0, beat the American Legion World Champions, Venezuela, Asia, Canada, Mexico and the US teams to set 15 World Series records, some of which stand today. We were invited to come on the field at Dodger Stadium and be escorted by Dodger players and cheered after we returned home by 55,000 fans. I was the least talented guy on the team but pitching in front of these guys, I went 3-0 for the Summer. Tommy was our leader, our comedian, our 'idiot savant'. And even in his death, he is bringing us together. This week I have had teammates contact me who have battled cancer and given me their love, concern, and prayers. Even death cannot conquer love, friendship, distance, time, and hope.
One day there will be no cancer. In the meantime we are starting to hear cancer talked about as a chronic disease, not a death sentence. Great discoveries are being made and companies like Novartis are spending millions on research to alleviate suffering and save lives. The old hymn says, "Death, where is thy sting?" I am filled with gratitude to tell you of my results. I know you are there for me. But I also know that you will be there for me when the announcements and test results are not so good. And further, I know you will be there for my children, grandchildren, wife and family when I am gone. I like to think I will not be really gone, simply out of sight. The great Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh (see 'No Fear, No Death') says, "You have always been. Right now the conditions for you to exist in human form are present. One day they will not be, and your spirit will move on. You have always been, you are, and you will always be." As long as we remember Tommy, and as long as we remember all those that have gone before us, then we, and they, will live forever. Sounds like Heaven to me!
Bless you all and have a wonderful day! With love,
Will
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
"It's Nice To Be Seen."
Dear Friends,
I was thinking of the time the late great Robin Williams appeared at one of my friends universities. My friend said to him, "It has been so nice having you." Robin replied, "It has been so nice being had." People say to me now, "It's so nice to see you." And I reply, and mean it, "It is so nice to be seen" It is nice to be seen, to be included. The first thing Drury University, Iowa State University, Elmhurst College, Whitman College, Linfield College, the University of Redlands, Seattle University, Western Oregon University, and Eastern Oregon University did when they found out I had cancer was to immediately book me for the next Fall. Have you any idea what it means to someone with Stage 4 Melanoma to have your speaking contract extended when you have been told your life contract may not be? That said, I have been invited to do three wonderful events in June and July and I wanted to thank the good people who invited me, had faith in me, and believed I would be around to complete the tasks assigned. One event has already happened and the other two are on the immediate horizon.
I was blessed to be asked to do a baby dedication for Avery Grace by her parents Ryan and Shannon Starwalt. I had officiated at their wedding earlier in our lives together and had dedicated Avery's older sister Payton nearly six years before. Ryan is a teacher and baseball coach at Crescent Valley High School and Shannon is on the Pharmacy Faculty at Oregon State University. It meant so much to be with them and their families again. The greatest gift you can give a person with cancer is hope. And what could be more hopeful than a baby girl whose parents are promising to raise her in a home filled with love? I carried my devotional book "God's Promises" with me to their home to share a scripture about parenting and Avery, who was born in September, immediately took in from me and looked at it with a look of interest and joy. The Spirit works in strange and wondrous ways! Thank you Starwalts for including me in your major life events.
On July 17th I will officiate at the wedding of Matt Caires and his fiancee Brandyn Roark. I have known Dr. Caires since he was a senior at Washington State University serving as student body president. Not a month has gone by in 20 years that he didn't check on me and me on him. He helped my niece Katie Volz with her admission to the University of Wyoming while he was there, and our family friend Paul Puettman with his entrance to Montana State where Matt is currently the Dean of Students. He has become a dear friend and he finally met a woman in better shape than himself. Brandyn is an educator and sponsored extreme athlete and Matt has to struggle to keep up. This gives all of us who have been left in the dust by him on the hiking trial, the ski run, or the path to the river great joy! He now follows her up the hills and down the mountains but claims the view is so good he doesn't mind. We will ride the ski lift up on Schweitzer Mountain in Sandpoint, Idaho to have a ceremony fitting for two rugged individualists and outdoors people.
After the reception in Sandpoint, Donna and I will hit the road for Bend, Oregon where Mark Lea and Annie Perrigan will speak the vows of love to each other at the Rock Springs Ranch. Our family has known Annie since she was a friend of Christa's in middle and high school in Corvallis. Mark is a high school teacher and football coach. Annie is the College Recruiter for Northwestern Mutual Life and its Summer Internship program in Portland. As I will be in Idaho with Matt and Brandyn, Christa Keim Schmeder will take care of the rehearsal in Bend for me. Recently Christa stepped in for me at the Ford Family Foundation Ford Scholars event in Eugene when I was having a bad week and took home the highest evaluations at the Conference. She is so gifted and is doing amazing work at Corvallis High School. I will, God willing, arrive in plenty of time to officiate the ceremony.
I've messed up a lot of things in my life, but our children are amazing. My dear friend David Coleman says, "Our children are our legacy to people we will never meet." So true. So profound. The lion's share of the credit for Christa, Sami, JJ, and Hannah goes to Donna, but I added what I could and gave what I had. Our children never doubted for one minute that they were loved and wanted. And that is the gift that Ryan and Shannon, Matt and Brandyn, and Mark and Annie have given me. They have made me feel loved, wanted, and despite the battle raging inside me, needed. What else does a person really need but that? I don't want to go Lou Gehring on you, but there are days when I hurt and am afraid, but the majority of my waking time I honestly believe I am the luckiest man on the Earth. That is why my friend Tracy Maxwell, a three time cancer survivor, told me early on the cancer would teach me what was really important in life, clarify my beliefs, and activate my appreciation for each moment.
I would not wish cancer on anyone, but it has been instructive, clarifying, and motivating. I want to beat it and share what it has taught me until I die of natural causes and old age. Thanks for reading this and God bless you. Carpe Diem. Be present. Be mindful. We all have much to be thankful for!
Will
I was thinking of the time the late great Robin Williams appeared at one of my friends universities. My friend said to him, "It has been so nice having you." Robin replied, "It has been so nice being had." People say to me now, "It's so nice to see you." And I reply, and mean it, "It is so nice to be seen" It is nice to be seen, to be included. The first thing Drury University, Iowa State University, Elmhurst College, Whitman College, Linfield College, the University of Redlands, Seattle University, Western Oregon University, and Eastern Oregon University did when they found out I had cancer was to immediately book me for the next Fall. Have you any idea what it means to someone with Stage 4 Melanoma to have your speaking contract extended when you have been told your life contract may not be? That said, I have been invited to do three wonderful events in June and July and I wanted to thank the good people who invited me, had faith in me, and believed I would be around to complete the tasks assigned. One event has already happened and the other two are on the immediate horizon.
I was blessed to be asked to do a baby dedication for Avery Grace by her parents Ryan and Shannon Starwalt. I had officiated at their wedding earlier in our lives together and had dedicated Avery's older sister Payton nearly six years before. Ryan is a teacher and baseball coach at Crescent Valley High School and Shannon is on the Pharmacy Faculty at Oregon State University. It meant so much to be with them and their families again. The greatest gift you can give a person with cancer is hope. And what could be more hopeful than a baby girl whose parents are promising to raise her in a home filled with love? I carried my devotional book "God's Promises" with me to their home to share a scripture about parenting and Avery, who was born in September, immediately took in from me and looked at it with a look of interest and joy. The Spirit works in strange and wondrous ways! Thank you Starwalts for including me in your major life events.
On July 17th I will officiate at the wedding of Matt Caires and his fiancee Brandyn Roark. I have known Dr. Caires since he was a senior at Washington State University serving as student body president. Not a month has gone by in 20 years that he didn't check on me and me on him. He helped my niece Katie Volz with her admission to the University of Wyoming while he was there, and our family friend Paul Puettman with his entrance to Montana State where Matt is currently the Dean of Students. He has become a dear friend and he finally met a woman in better shape than himself. Brandyn is an educator and sponsored extreme athlete and Matt has to struggle to keep up. This gives all of us who have been left in the dust by him on the hiking trial, the ski run, or the path to the river great joy! He now follows her up the hills and down the mountains but claims the view is so good he doesn't mind. We will ride the ski lift up on Schweitzer Mountain in Sandpoint, Idaho to have a ceremony fitting for two rugged individualists and outdoors people.
After the reception in Sandpoint, Donna and I will hit the road for Bend, Oregon where Mark Lea and Annie Perrigan will speak the vows of love to each other at the Rock Springs Ranch. Our family has known Annie since she was a friend of Christa's in middle and high school in Corvallis. Mark is a high school teacher and football coach. Annie is the College Recruiter for Northwestern Mutual Life and its Summer Internship program in Portland. As I will be in Idaho with Matt and Brandyn, Christa Keim Schmeder will take care of the rehearsal in Bend for me. Recently Christa stepped in for me at the Ford Family Foundation Ford Scholars event in Eugene when I was having a bad week and took home the highest evaluations at the Conference. She is so gifted and is doing amazing work at Corvallis High School. I will, God willing, arrive in plenty of time to officiate the ceremony.
I've messed up a lot of things in my life, but our children are amazing. My dear friend David Coleman says, "Our children are our legacy to people we will never meet." So true. So profound. The lion's share of the credit for Christa, Sami, JJ, and Hannah goes to Donna, but I added what I could and gave what I had. Our children never doubted for one minute that they were loved and wanted. And that is the gift that Ryan and Shannon, Matt and Brandyn, and Mark and Annie have given me. They have made me feel loved, wanted, and despite the battle raging inside me, needed. What else does a person really need but that? I don't want to go Lou Gehring on you, but there are days when I hurt and am afraid, but the majority of my waking time I honestly believe I am the luckiest man on the Earth. That is why my friend Tracy Maxwell, a three time cancer survivor, told me early on the cancer would teach me what was really important in life, clarify my beliefs, and activate my appreciation for each moment.
I would not wish cancer on anyone, but it has been instructive, clarifying, and motivating. I want to beat it and share what it has taught me until I die of natural causes and old age. Thanks for reading this and God bless you. Carpe Diem. Be present. Be mindful. We all have much to be thankful for!
Will
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
"It Depends. The Importance of Me. And...A Clinical Trial Begins."
Dear Friends,
After a battery of tests, transfusions, and hard work by my Doctor Matt Taylor and his study coordinator Lindsay Chandler, I was deemed acceptable for a Clinical Trial at OHSU under the director of Dr. Matt Taylor. As a matter of fact, I am the Alpha patient in the trial. I take 8 pills in the morning every day and three at night and the battle is on between the drugs and my tumors. This trial is exciting in scope and I am both excited and a tiny bit apprehensive. Your prayers might be the tipping point so please keep 'em coming.
I had a very rough week before the test week with dwindling hemoglobin scores, diarrhea, low sodium, dehydration, fatigue, and two days of hospitalization. I took 6 units of blood in the hospital which barely positioned me in the acceptable low category. For the first time in my fight with cancer I listened to the dark voice when it asked, "If this is how I am going to feel forever, then how much of this do I really need, or want?" I realized I needed to talk to someone. I asked Sami to have her Coach and my friend Rob Durbin give me a call or visit. He is a cancer survivor of a brutal battle and had offered me wise counsel before.
He came to visit, and I asked told him about my week, my feelings, the dark voice, and asked him, "When you were down, when things weren't going well, what did you do?" He smiled and told me he was going to tell me something he had learned and I needed to hear. I was ready for some empathy and TLC from someone who had been there. Then he said, "Will, it's not about you." I was speechless and somewhat puzzled. I guess that wasn't what I was expecting. He continued, "It's about the people who want to love you longer. The people all over the world who are taking their time to pray for you. It's about your family, wife, children, and grandchildren. Your students. It's about them, not you. That's why you continue to fight and not give up. You want to give them as much time as you can to love you and care for you."
What a blessing a friend is who will tell you what you need to hear rather than what they think you want to hear! I wasn't looking for a pity party, but his truth hit me squarely in the head and heart. How can I ask you not to quit praying or thinking positive thoughts, and then give up myself? My mentor Kent Gardner wrote from Texas shortly after Rob's visit, "Will, I just read your blog. I think I told you that you will have many ups and downs in this process. Don't let it get you down. Remember we have miles to go before we sleep. Keep the power of positive thinking!!! You are the best." This from a friend with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer. I am thankful to have resources like Rob and Kent to remind me that it is not about me. It is about us. My job is to fight, to believe the treatments will work, and not to give up. Your 'job' is to care because it is ultimately about us, not me.
As to the first line of this entry's title, "It Depends."...I had always held the private belief that when I had to wear Depends, it pretty much meant life was over. I would look at them in the store and shudder. Well, I wore them for two days, and as comedian Richard Lewis told John Stewart, the new cuts of the Depends are kind of sexy!:):):) I wore my regular underwear over them in a vanity denial move, but my life did not end, I slept better, and the cause of wearing them...this too did pass. The lesson for all you youngins' is that you do what you have to do. Growing old ain't for sissies. But life, that is, the people in your life, make any tiny inconveniences worth it. I want to bask in your friendship and love as long as possible. I need to do my part and fight. To hell with the dark voice. It is not about me.
My Clinical Trial has begun and I am hopeful and resilient. And what is hope? Our Minister Matt Gordon concluded his sermon Sunday with this:
Hope is the belief in what God might do next.
Help me stay open to the amazing possibilities of what that might be!
Blessings and love,
Will
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
A Gifted Healer
Dear Friends,
It is never easy to hear or give news that is less than good. I am aware of this as I share with you the results of my latest PT Scan. Yesterday Donna and I journeyed to Portland to the Knight Cancer Center at the Oregon Health Sciences University to meet with my oncologist, Dr. Matt Taylor. He began by telling us that he was not happy with the scan as it revealed some tumor growth. He was sad and a bit angry at the cancer, and immediately took us through a diagram that explained to two liberal arts majors that my body is being told by my cancer to produce cells, cells that it does not really need, and cells that fuel tumor growth. Eye to eye I could feel his empathy and his concern. We have become friends and my cancer is personal to our family and him.
I will be entering a Clinical Trial of a new drug in cooperation with two existing drugs that have the potential to turn off the 'make cells' message my cancer is giving my body. There will be 140 of us in the study, and I am the first person at OHSU to enroll. Dr. Taylor said, "I believe this will work for you, but if it does not, we have other treatment options available." The study, in which Dr. Taylor and his mentor are primary investigators, will develop treatments involving BRAF inhibitors and the possibility for people like me that we may get additional years to live, learn, and love. The good news was that there is no tumor growth in my liver or kidneys. I sent an email to my children immediately and their love and concern, along with their Mother's, buoyed me up. I was a little sad yesterday but slept well last night and have regained my hope today. The only thing that rises before the sun is the love of God.
The news about the tumors did not shock me as I had felt some strange things going on in my stomach. I also had some bruising under my arms. The energy loss I felt required that I take two transfusions of two units each last week in order to go the the Women's College World Series with Sami in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. When I said my prayers the night before meeting with Dr. Taylor, I asked God to continue to heal me, but if I did not get good news, I knew He would be with me. And He was. I view my cancer battle as a team event and the players are the Doctors, the Researchers, the medicine, God, and my family and friends. It is going to take all of us and I ask for your continued prayers and good thoughts. You all have been so wonderful, so caring, so loving...thank you! Please keep it up! My goal? God gets tired of hearing my name in prayer and heals me to free up some time to listen to the concerns of others!:)
Due to the efforts of Dr. Taylor and Dr. Wang to get me in for transfusions, I had a wonderful week at the softball World Series with Sami. We had talked about going to the event since she was a little girl just starting off playing softball. I was so fatigued I talked to her about not going, but she persisted and told me she would take care of me. She did. We watched up to four games a day, talked softball, strategized, and met some wonderful people. We met Alabama All American Haylie McCleney's Dad who said he and his family would pray for us. We were blessed as well to meet All American Emily Carosone's Dad and Sister who insisted on offering their prayers and a signed Auburn poster for our Corvallis Spartan Softball team. We had dinner with Coach Betsy Hipple and her partner. Betsy coaches two of our former high school players, Chloe and Madeleine, at Claremont Mudd Scripts College in Los Angeles. We also broke bread with Megan McDonald, one of Sami's Oregon Panthers travel ball teammates and Katie Reeves, our friend from Crescent Valley High School in Corvallis. Katie is the Head Coach at Oklahoma Wesleyan. Former rivals, they are now great friends. Naomi and Janet sat in front of us and we really enjoyed talking and laughing with them. Naomi is one of the nation's leading experts on child education and abuse issues. Janet is her business manager. Check out redclayvinegar.com to learn more about their great work with children.
My favorite memory of the week long event was when a UCLA player hit towering fly ball to left field with two outs and her team one run behind. Sami and I immediately held hands stood up and watched in wonder as the ball sailed over the left field fence. Sami was a little girl again, I was younger and cancer free, and the world had been put in perfect order by what I call The Church of Softball. We also visited the Oklahoma City National Memorial to the bombings that occurred. It added a note of realism to our trip and we met a wonderful man and three of his children there. When I went to get my Cancer Survivor shirt that was offered at the Strike Out Cancer night at the World Series, there was the teenage girl, still in uniform, standing next to me. Her Dad and I looked at each other with the knowing look the cancer family has for each other. It was very touching. Northwestern Mutual Life gave $20,000 that night to the Oklahoma Cancer Society. It made me proud that Hannah is doing an Internship with them this Summer in Portland!
I want to say one more thing about Dr. Matt Taylor to his family. He is so humble he probably won't show this to them but I hope he does. "Your Dad and your Mother's Husband spends a lot of time away from home. I want you to know what it means to those of us with whom your Dad is spending his time. In the scary world in which cancer patients and their families live, your Dad, your Husband, is a rock. He is hope. he is compassion. Whomever taught him how to interact with patients should receive an award and teach the skills to all Doctors. He may not attend every one of your games, your dance recitals, or your plays, but he is there in spirit and loves you all deeply. I don't know if I could have coped with my frightening disease without my family, my friends, and your Dad. He is a hero to me and an anchor in a scary sea of tests, infusions, and statistics. Thank you for sharing him with us. You are part of my healing and battle because you give up time with him so he can help us. Thank you, bless you, and please keep me in your prayers." Dr. Will Keim
That's all for now friends. Phase three of my treatment begins soon. Do not think for a second that your prayers are not being heard. I can feel them in my soul, and God does not turn His back on those who call out His name. For those of my friends who are not religious...just keep thinking positive thoughts and sending those vibes my way. It takes a village and I am thankful you are in my world.
Let's talk soon!
Will
It is never easy to hear or give news that is less than good. I am aware of this as I share with you the results of my latest PT Scan. Yesterday Donna and I journeyed to Portland to the Knight Cancer Center at the Oregon Health Sciences University to meet with my oncologist, Dr. Matt Taylor. He began by telling us that he was not happy with the scan as it revealed some tumor growth. He was sad and a bit angry at the cancer, and immediately took us through a diagram that explained to two liberal arts majors that my body is being told by my cancer to produce cells, cells that it does not really need, and cells that fuel tumor growth. Eye to eye I could feel his empathy and his concern. We have become friends and my cancer is personal to our family and him.
I will be entering a Clinical Trial of a new drug in cooperation with two existing drugs that have the potential to turn off the 'make cells' message my cancer is giving my body. There will be 140 of us in the study, and I am the first person at OHSU to enroll. Dr. Taylor said, "I believe this will work for you, but if it does not, we have other treatment options available." The study, in which Dr. Taylor and his mentor are primary investigators, will develop treatments involving BRAF inhibitors and the possibility for people like me that we may get additional years to live, learn, and love. The good news was that there is no tumor growth in my liver or kidneys. I sent an email to my children immediately and their love and concern, along with their Mother's, buoyed me up. I was a little sad yesterday but slept well last night and have regained my hope today. The only thing that rises before the sun is the love of God.
The news about the tumors did not shock me as I had felt some strange things going on in my stomach. I also had some bruising under my arms. The energy loss I felt required that I take two transfusions of two units each last week in order to go the the Women's College World Series with Sami in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. When I said my prayers the night before meeting with Dr. Taylor, I asked God to continue to heal me, but if I did not get good news, I knew He would be with me. And He was. I view my cancer battle as a team event and the players are the Doctors, the Researchers, the medicine, God, and my family and friends. It is going to take all of us and I ask for your continued prayers and good thoughts. You all have been so wonderful, so caring, so loving...thank you! Please keep it up! My goal? God gets tired of hearing my name in prayer and heals me to free up some time to listen to the concerns of others!:)
Due to the efforts of Dr. Taylor and Dr. Wang to get me in for transfusions, I had a wonderful week at the softball World Series with Sami. We had talked about going to the event since she was a little girl just starting off playing softball. I was so fatigued I talked to her about not going, but she persisted and told me she would take care of me. She did. We watched up to four games a day, talked softball, strategized, and met some wonderful people. We met Alabama All American Haylie McCleney's Dad who said he and his family would pray for us. We were blessed as well to meet All American Emily Carosone's Dad and Sister who insisted on offering their prayers and a signed Auburn poster for our Corvallis Spartan Softball team. We had dinner with Coach Betsy Hipple and her partner. Betsy coaches two of our former high school players, Chloe and Madeleine, at Claremont Mudd Scripts College in Los Angeles. We also broke bread with Megan McDonald, one of Sami's Oregon Panthers travel ball teammates and Katie Reeves, our friend from Crescent Valley High School in Corvallis. Katie is the Head Coach at Oklahoma Wesleyan. Former rivals, they are now great friends. Naomi and Janet sat in front of us and we really enjoyed talking and laughing with them. Naomi is one of the nation's leading experts on child education and abuse issues. Janet is her business manager. Check out redclayvinegar.com to learn more about their great work with children.
My favorite memory of the week long event was when a UCLA player hit towering fly ball to left field with two outs and her team one run behind. Sami and I immediately held hands stood up and watched in wonder as the ball sailed over the left field fence. Sami was a little girl again, I was younger and cancer free, and the world had been put in perfect order by what I call The Church of Softball. We also visited the Oklahoma City National Memorial to the bombings that occurred. It added a note of realism to our trip and we met a wonderful man and three of his children there. When I went to get my Cancer Survivor shirt that was offered at the Strike Out Cancer night at the World Series, there was the teenage girl, still in uniform, standing next to me. Her Dad and I looked at each other with the knowing look the cancer family has for each other. It was very touching. Northwestern Mutual Life gave $20,000 that night to the Oklahoma Cancer Society. It made me proud that Hannah is doing an Internship with them this Summer in Portland!
I want to say one more thing about Dr. Matt Taylor to his family. He is so humble he probably won't show this to them but I hope he does. "Your Dad and your Mother's Husband spends a lot of time away from home. I want you to know what it means to those of us with whom your Dad is spending his time. In the scary world in which cancer patients and their families live, your Dad, your Husband, is a rock. He is hope. he is compassion. Whomever taught him how to interact with patients should receive an award and teach the skills to all Doctors. He may not attend every one of your games, your dance recitals, or your plays, but he is there in spirit and loves you all deeply. I don't know if I could have coped with my frightening disease without my family, my friends, and your Dad. He is a hero to me and an anchor in a scary sea of tests, infusions, and statistics. Thank you for sharing him with us. You are part of my healing and battle because you give up time with him so he can help us. Thank you, bless you, and please keep me in your prayers." Dr. Will Keim
That's all for now friends. Phase three of my treatment begins soon. Do not think for a second that your prayers are not being heard. I can feel them in my soul, and God does not turn His back on those who call out His name. For those of my friends who are not religious...just keep thinking positive thoughts and sending those vibes my way. It takes a village and I am thankful you are in my world.
Let's talk soon!
Will
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
"You Win The Battle Each And Every Day That You Know That This Life Is Worth Living." Becky Gold
Dear Friends,
I was blessed to be invited to participate in the Claremont College's Relay For Life event on March 28th. This invitation came about as a result of speaking to the Claremont Mudd Scripts Student Athletes on January 19th. Softball Coach Betsy Hipple invited me down in January to speak to the Spring Sport Student Athletes and the event went well. The student athletes were extremely bright, caring, and attentive. The Village at Claremont is one of the most spectacular college towns in America. I grew up one exit down the San Bernardino Freeway in Pomona.
Becky Gold, one of the student athletes, invited me to come back in March to keynote the kickoff event before the relay began. It was to be my first cancer-specific speech. It was a very warm day and the event committee had organized 400 participants from 40 teams to walk for 24 hours to raise over $30,000 to fight cancer. It was so inspiring to see these fine young people giving up a weekend day to stand up against cancer. They had kindly arranged a nice stool and shade for me to speak. I asked the gathered participants ranging in age from 12-70 how many of them had had cancer in their immediate families. 80% of the hands went up. One man was there honoring his father who had passed away a few years earlier. One middle school soccer team wanted to participate and were there in full youthful energy. One Claremont student was there celebrating her own remission from melanoma. Students from the five colleges made up the bulk of the participants.
I told the volunteers that cancer was a magnificent teacher and was like Phi Beta Kappa...it called you, you didn't call it. Cancer was, in my opinion, a family disease housed in one person. And finally, anyone who had had cancer and was living, currently was carrying it, or was a family member should be considered a survivor. It was easy for me to tell the students that cancer taught you to relish and appreciate each day one day at a time and that their youth would last a lot longer if they didn't spend time regretting the past or fearfully anticipating the future. I reminded them that the Bible had advised, "Do not worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Becky Gold emailed me two days later, "Your message could not have been more appropriate for the events! Your speech started off the next amazing 24 hours in the most positive way. I am so grateful that you took the time to come and speak with us. Your positivity is inspiring! You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living. I am keeping you in my prayers and thoughts."
"You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living." Please hear the wisdom of this young woman. Her words should be the mantra for every person, but in particular, for those of us who have cancer. With surgeries in the future, infusions regularly scheduled, side effects...it is so easy to feel overwhelmed. And compared to most cancer patients, I have it great.
But I do feel that what I have going for me is a positive attitude, faith, great family and friend support, an amazing doctor, and students like Becky who teach the old teacher a thing or two about life. I finished my remarks at Claremont by telling them what I tell every audience...the cure for cancer might be in your brains ready to come out, but not if you do not go to class and apply yourselves. I was thrilled that my daughter Sami and her husband Steve were with me to provide support and see the students' great spirits.
Upon arriving home I received a call from an old friend Margaret Miller Meek that our mentor and friend Barb Robel was in hospice. Barb was the Greek Advisor at Kansas State for years and had influenced thousands of students over the years. She was born on July 13, 1943 and died April 4, 2015. She was an R.A. in college and a member of Delta Zeta sorority at K State. She was proceeded in death by her beloved Raydon who ran the Recreation Center at K State. Barb is survived by her children and grandchildren. She loved and raised horses and was an active member of Sedalia Community Church. She ran national conferences and asked me to speak for her several times. We were close friends and her love of students and ability to inspire them to do great things was legendary.
I talked to her a few days before her death thanks to Margaret's call and she told me she loved me and that she was at peace because of her faith. She said she knew she did have long to live but that she looked forward to seeing Raydon again. She asked about my cancer and I told her that it looked like she would get to the other side before me, so I hoped she would be waiting on the shore when I got there. She told me I could count on it. She said she had doubts every now and then and I assured her that Jesus had doubts on more than one occasion, including the Garden of Gethsemane. I shared with her that Jesus was not afraid to die, but was apprehensive about dying. That is, the process of dying. Barb said that helped her and gave her hope. We told each other we loved each other and said goodbye. A couple of days later she was gone. She will never be forgotten.
Her life reveals two things...
You don't have to be famous to have a huge impact on a large number of people's lives. Everyone in the Greek community knows her or of her, but there will be no national holiday Saturday for her memorial service. Yet, tens of thousands of students and former students will stop in Manhattan, Kansas, or wherever they are at, pause, and thank God for Barb's influence on their lives. Her humor, love, and subtle and direct guidance changed people, including me.
Secondly, there is a difference between fearing death and fearing the process of dying. We all know we are going to die one day. Cancer patients just get an early wake up call regarding this. But I think the real apprehension is that we will be a burden on our families, leave not-so-positive memories, or suffer beyond the medicine's ability to numb the pain. I am not glad that I got cancer, but hear me...I am thankful and grateful that I received cancer's reminder that each day is precious, that I should live in the moment, and that I should tell my family and friends that I love them.
Who knows God's mind or the mysteries of life? But in the end, Coach John Wooden was right. The things that matter are family, faith, and vocation. If you know Barb or not, please take a moment at 2 p.m. Central Time Saturday to think of her, and if you just heard about her today, take that time to call a loved one, family member, or friends and tell them that you love them. Life is brief and and a blessed one ticket ride. It is not a dress rehearsal and we are working without a net. And when you think there is no good working in the world, remember the students at the Claremont Colleges raising money for a cure, people like Barb Robel, and remember that you can be part of the solution to life's many questions, quandaries, and quagmires. Someone is waiting for your help, your call, your inspiration today.
April 25th will find me, God willing, giving the keynote address at the Western Oregon University Relay For Life event. I know I will meet someone there who gives me hope, and I pray I will do the same for someone else.
Blessings,
Will
I was blessed to be invited to participate in the Claremont College's Relay For Life event on March 28th. This invitation came about as a result of speaking to the Claremont Mudd Scripts Student Athletes on January 19th. Softball Coach Betsy Hipple invited me down in January to speak to the Spring Sport Student Athletes and the event went well. The student athletes were extremely bright, caring, and attentive. The Village at Claremont is one of the most spectacular college towns in America. I grew up one exit down the San Bernardino Freeway in Pomona.
Becky Gold, one of the student athletes, invited me to come back in March to keynote the kickoff event before the relay began. It was to be my first cancer-specific speech. It was a very warm day and the event committee had organized 400 participants from 40 teams to walk for 24 hours to raise over $30,000 to fight cancer. It was so inspiring to see these fine young people giving up a weekend day to stand up against cancer. They had kindly arranged a nice stool and shade for me to speak. I asked the gathered participants ranging in age from 12-70 how many of them had had cancer in their immediate families. 80% of the hands went up. One man was there honoring his father who had passed away a few years earlier. One middle school soccer team wanted to participate and were there in full youthful energy. One Claremont student was there celebrating her own remission from melanoma. Students from the five colleges made up the bulk of the participants.
I told the volunteers that cancer was a magnificent teacher and was like Phi Beta Kappa...it called you, you didn't call it. Cancer was, in my opinion, a family disease housed in one person. And finally, anyone who had had cancer and was living, currently was carrying it, or was a family member should be considered a survivor. It was easy for me to tell the students that cancer taught you to relish and appreciate each day one day at a time and that their youth would last a lot longer if they didn't spend time regretting the past or fearfully anticipating the future. I reminded them that the Bible had advised, "Do not worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Becky Gold emailed me two days later, "Your message could not have been more appropriate for the events! Your speech started off the next amazing 24 hours in the most positive way. I am so grateful that you took the time to come and speak with us. Your positivity is inspiring! You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living. I am keeping you in my prayers and thoughts."
"You win the battle each and every day that you know that this life is worth living." Please hear the wisdom of this young woman. Her words should be the mantra for every person, but in particular, for those of us who have cancer. With surgeries in the future, infusions regularly scheduled, side effects...it is so easy to feel overwhelmed. And compared to most cancer patients, I have it great.
But I do feel that what I have going for me is a positive attitude, faith, great family and friend support, an amazing doctor, and students like Becky who teach the old teacher a thing or two about life. I finished my remarks at Claremont by telling them what I tell every audience...the cure for cancer might be in your brains ready to come out, but not if you do not go to class and apply yourselves. I was thrilled that my daughter Sami and her husband Steve were with me to provide support and see the students' great spirits.
Upon arriving home I received a call from an old friend Margaret Miller Meek that our mentor and friend Barb Robel was in hospice. Barb was the Greek Advisor at Kansas State for years and had influenced thousands of students over the years. She was born on July 13, 1943 and died April 4, 2015. She was an R.A. in college and a member of Delta Zeta sorority at K State. She was proceeded in death by her beloved Raydon who ran the Recreation Center at K State. Barb is survived by her children and grandchildren. She loved and raised horses and was an active member of Sedalia Community Church. She ran national conferences and asked me to speak for her several times. We were close friends and her love of students and ability to inspire them to do great things was legendary.
I talked to her a few days before her death thanks to Margaret's call and she told me she loved me and that she was at peace because of her faith. She said she knew she did have long to live but that she looked forward to seeing Raydon again. She asked about my cancer and I told her that it looked like she would get to the other side before me, so I hoped she would be waiting on the shore when I got there. She told me I could count on it. She said she had doubts every now and then and I assured her that Jesus had doubts on more than one occasion, including the Garden of Gethsemane. I shared with her that Jesus was not afraid to die, but was apprehensive about dying. That is, the process of dying. Barb said that helped her and gave her hope. We told each other we loved each other and said goodbye. A couple of days later she was gone. She will never be forgotten.
Her life reveals two things...
You don't have to be famous to have a huge impact on a large number of people's lives. Everyone in the Greek community knows her or of her, but there will be no national holiday Saturday for her memorial service. Yet, tens of thousands of students and former students will stop in Manhattan, Kansas, or wherever they are at, pause, and thank God for Barb's influence on their lives. Her humor, love, and subtle and direct guidance changed people, including me.
Secondly, there is a difference between fearing death and fearing the process of dying. We all know we are going to die one day. Cancer patients just get an early wake up call regarding this. But I think the real apprehension is that we will be a burden on our families, leave not-so-positive memories, or suffer beyond the medicine's ability to numb the pain. I am not glad that I got cancer, but hear me...I am thankful and grateful that I received cancer's reminder that each day is precious, that I should live in the moment, and that I should tell my family and friends that I love them.
Who knows God's mind or the mysteries of life? But in the end, Coach John Wooden was right. The things that matter are family, faith, and vocation. If you know Barb or not, please take a moment at 2 p.m. Central Time Saturday to think of her, and if you just heard about her today, take that time to call a loved one, family member, or friends and tell them that you love them. Life is brief and and a blessed one ticket ride. It is not a dress rehearsal and we are working without a net. And when you think there is no good working in the world, remember the students at the Claremont Colleges raising money for a cure, people like Barb Robel, and remember that you can be part of the solution to life's many questions, quandaries, and quagmires. Someone is waiting for your help, your call, your inspiration today.
April 25th will find me, God willing, giving the keynote address at the Western Oregon University Relay For Life event. I know I will meet someone there who gives me hope, and I pray I will do the same for someone else.
Blessings,
Will
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
"The Thing About Faith Is That You Have To Have It Before You Need It." Geoffrey Canada
Dear Friends,
I have had the good fortune to meet some amazing people during my career on the road as an inspirational speaker and educator. One of those people is Geoffrey Canada. He is an American Educator and Social Activist, and the Founder of the Harlem Children's Zone in New York City.
We shared the podium for the Rockwall Independent School District in Texas one Summer speaking to administrators and teachers from the District.
After describing his school to the audience, his journey, and how the school had reclaimed one hundred square blocks of Harlem, he was asked, "What is your secret?" His students graduate, go onto to college, and families, and the culture, are changed. His response? "Faith. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it." It was profound. He was humble, grateful, and thankful to have had the opportunity the raise the bar for generations of students and their families.
I had my first official OHSU PET Scan February 26th and sat with Donna in the office of Dr. Matt Taylor on March 2nd to look at the results. The night before I had slept in 15 minutes increments, up and down, nervous, desperate, and fully aware of the Dark Voice whispering, "What if..." Finally it was 5 a.m. and time to head to Portland for the appointment. I tried to remind myself of the tribe in Sierra Leone praying for me at their Mosque. The Cloistered Nuns in Idaho that my relatives the Taylors and allied families had praying for me. The prayers of my sons's Jewish girlfriend Grace and her family. The Baptists in Texas. My 'Battle Buddies' on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. My own Church in Corvallis and Rev. Clay Stauffer's Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee.
Father Silva in California, The Texas Softball Team in Austin, Alabama's Gymnastics and Softball teams in Tuscaloosa. All that...and the Dark Voice was still audible and troubling to me.
Doctor Taylor said, "You've seen this?", referring to the Scan results. I said "No." He said, "Well..."
The pause was probably under three seconds, but in that time I heard his words from the night before's lack of sleep, "I have some bad news for you." I heard that one at 3:30 a.m. It wasn't Dr. Taylor, but you know I am creative and can create a whole bunch of chatter not based in anything other than fear. Doc said, "Well...this is outstanding! I am so pleased. That one (tumor) is gone, that one is gone, that one is shrinking, that one is shrinking, that one is not growing(...he continued) There is absolutely no sign of new cancer sites or tumors." I tried to say thank you to him but I could not speak. I finally said, voice shaking, "I was so apprehensive Doc. Thank you!" I was overcome with relief, thankfulness, gratitude, and a host of emotions caused in part by the seriousness of the situation, and the lack of sleep and abundance of worry from the night before.
When I finally gathered myself, I asked, "What can I tell my friends? They will ask." Doctor Taylor told me to tell you the results were excellent. My drug, Keytruda, was working very well, and that about 40% of the tumors were gone! A little over a third were shrinking, and a little under a third were the same size but not growing and were stable. Emboldened by the good news through my fear, I said, "How long might I have Doc? 2 years? 5 years? More?" He said, "We just don't know. These drugs are so new. This drug is working for you. The first drug you took kept someone alive for 10 years. That drug has only been out ten years, so we just don't know yet for the Immunotherapy Chemotherapies." I said, "Perhaps I should try to live this one day at a time and be thankful for each day." He said, "I like that. I think it is a good plan." Dr. Taylor is a rock star!
Here is the teaching point to me, and perhaps to you as well. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it. I have it and I need it! Or do I? How is it that a man like me who has been blessed to have great friends, meaningful work, have married a phenomenal woman, be the Father of four amazing children, be a grandfather, and have talked about, married, buried, and baptized people in the name of God.....how is it that that man, me, can be up all night worrying and not trusting, that God will comfort me. Be with me. Refuse to let me walk this journey alone. Jesus said, "Ask, and you will hear; seek, and you will find; knock on the door and it shall be opened for you." Less than two week ago I stood in from of my brothers and sisters in Christ at the Woodmont Christian Church and preached on the advice Jesus gave in the Gospel of Matthew, "Which of you by worrying can add a single minute to your life? Do not worry about tomorrow, each day has enough trouble of its own." I often tell students to ask, believe, and receive. My favorite hymn, "God Will Take Care of You." says:
Be not dismayed whate'er betide,
God will take care of you;
Beneath His wings of love abide,
God will take care of you.
Refrain:
God will take care of you,
Through every day, o'er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.
Through days of toil when heart doth fail,
God will take care of you;
When dangers fierce your path assail,
God will take care of you.
All you may need He will provide,
God will take care of you;
Nothing you ask will be denied,
God will take care of you.
No matter what may be the test,
God will take care of you;
Lean, weary one, upon His breast,
God will take care of you.
(Music by W. Stillman Martin, Lyrics by Civilla D. Martin. Aretha Franklin sang this perhaps as well as anyone ever has!)
So, why my doubt? Why my fear? It came to me this morning in a conversation with my friend Tim. I said to him, "I am embarrassed by my fear and doubt. I need to just surrender to my faith." I think that's it for me. How about you? Most of us believe in something larger than ourselves. Why am I reciting the Lord's Prayer 72 times in a row flying in a small plane with Christa over the Cascades? Can God have made it any more clear for me than it is? My biological Father Will S. Keim, Jr. dies before I am born, and my Step Father Jack R. Wilhelm raises me as if I was his own. God places Father Silva in my life at college, and Don Duns, and my life is redirected from self defeating behavior into a life, as Nouwen says, of a 'Wounded Healer.' My family never gives up on me even when I am pondering giving up on myself. My fraternity provides me with brothers I never had but needed. Softball empowers me to find the joy of coaching. Can God make it anymore clear to me...Trust. Have Faith. Believe. It Will Be Alright. I Am Here For You.
So I surrender to the fact that even with all of my character defects, you will still be my friends. I give up the negativity and doubt that the Dark Voice wants me to focus on. I quit my job as endless questioner and 'what if' specialist. Each year I cry, and now I know why, when Bill Murray, in the movie Scrooged, says, "It's a Miracle. And you can have the Miracle. And once you have it, you're going to want it again. And you're going to want everyone to have it. And you can be someone's Miracle." We may believe different things and in different ways, but I believe in you. And I believe in me. And I believe, as Dr. Marcus Borg said, that the God who buoys up in life will buoy us up in death. That's all I have got for you today, save this...
"Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow." Surrender to the Faith you have always had within you and stop fighting it. Open your eyes and see. Open your ears and hear. Open your heart and feel the love of God that has always been there for you. It's a miracle!
Blessings and Love,
Will
I have had the good fortune to meet some amazing people during my career on the road as an inspirational speaker and educator. One of those people is Geoffrey Canada. He is an American Educator and Social Activist, and the Founder of the Harlem Children's Zone in New York City.
We shared the podium for the Rockwall Independent School District in Texas one Summer speaking to administrators and teachers from the District.
After describing his school to the audience, his journey, and how the school had reclaimed one hundred square blocks of Harlem, he was asked, "What is your secret?" His students graduate, go onto to college, and families, and the culture, are changed. His response? "Faith. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it." It was profound. He was humble, grateful, and thankful to have had the opportunity the raise the bar for generations of students and their families.
I had my first official OHSU PET Scan February 26th and sat with Donna in the office of Dr. Matt Taylor on March 2nd to look at the results. The night before I had slept in 15 minutes increments, up and down, nervous, desperate, and fully aware of the Dark Voice whispering, "What if..." Finally it was 5 a.m. and time to head to Portland for the appointment. I tried to remind myself of the tribe in Sierra Leone praying for me at their Mosque. The Cloistered Nuns in Idaho that my relatives the Taylors and allied families had praying for me. The prayers of my sons's Jewish girlfriend Grace and her family. The Baptists in Texas. My 'Battle Buddies' on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. My own Church in Corvallis and Rev. Clay Stauffer's Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee.
Father Silva in California, The Texas Softball Team in Austin, Alabama's Gymnastics and Softball teams in Tuscaloosa. All that...and the Dark Voice was still audible and troubling to me.
Doctor Taylor said, "You've seen this?", referring to the Scan results. I said "No." He said, "Well..."
The pause was probably under three seconds, but in that time I heard his words from the night before's lack of sleep, "I have some bad news for you." I heard that one at 3:30 a.m. It wasn't Dr. Taylor, but you know I am creative and can create a whole bunch of chatter not based in anything other than fear. Doc said, "Well...this is outstanding! I am so pleased. That one (tumor) is gone, that one is gone, that one is shrinking, that one is shrinking, that one is not growing(...he continued) There is absolutely no sign of new cancer sites or tumors." I tried to say thank you to him but I could not speak. I finally said, voice shaking, "I was so apprehensive Doc. Thank you!" I was overcome with relief, thankfulness, gratitude, and a host of emotions caused in part by the seriousness of the situation, and the lack of sleep and abundance of worry from the night before.
When I finally gathered myself, I asked, "What can I tell my friends? They will ask." Doctor Taylor told me to tell you the results were excellent. My drug, Keytruda, was working very well, and that about 40% of the tumors were gone! A little over a third were shrinking, and a little under a third were the same size but not growing and were stable. Emboldened by the good news through my fear, I said, "How long might I have Doc? 2 years? 5 years? More?" He said, "We just don't know. These drugs are so new. This drug is working for you. The first drug you took kept someone alive for 10 years. That drug has only been out ten years, so we just don't know yet for the Immunotherapy Chemotherapies." I said, "Perhaps I should try to live this one day at a time and be thankful for each day." He said, "I like that. I think it is a good plan." Dr. Taylor is a rock star!
Here is the teaching point to me, and perhaps to you as well. The thing about faith is that you have to have it before you need it. I have it and I need it! Or do I? How is it that a man like me who has been blessed to have great friends, meaningful work, have married a phenomenal woman, be the Father of four amazing children, be a grandfather, and have talked about, married, buried, and baptized people in the name of God.....how is it that that man, me, can be up all night worrying and not trusting, that God will comfort me. Be with me. Refuse to let me walk this journey alone. Jesus said, "Ask, and you will hear; seek, and you will find; knock on the door and it shall be opened for you." Less than two week ago I stood in from of my brothers and sisters in Christ at the Woodmont Christian Church and preached on the advice Jesus gave in the Gospel of Matthew, "Which of you by worrying can add a single minute to your life? Do not worry about tomorrow, each day has enough trouble of its own." I often tell students to ask, believe, and receive. My favorite hymn, "God Will Take Care of You." says:
Be not dismayed whate'er betide,
God will take care of you;
Beneath His wings of love abide,
God will take care of you.
Refrain:
God will take care of you,
Through every day, o'er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.
Through days of toil when heart doth fail,
God will take care of you;
When dangers fierce your path assail,
God will take care of you.
All you may need He will provide,
God will take care of you;
Nothing you ask will be denied,
God will take care of you.
No matter what may be the test,
God will take care of you;
Lean, weary one, upon His breast,
God will take care of you.
(Music by W. Stillman Martin, Lyrics by Civilla D. Martin. Aretha Franklin sang this perhaps as well as anyone ever has!)
So, why my doubt? Why my fear? It came to me this morning in a conversation with my friend Tim. I said to him, "I am embarrassed by my fear and doubt. I need to just surrender to my faith." I think that's it for me. How about you? Most of us believe in something larger than ourselves. Why am I reciting the Lord's Prayer 72 times in a row flying in a small plane with Christa over the Cascades? Can God have made it any more clear for me than it is? My biological Father Will S. Keim, Jr. dies before I am born, and my Step Father Jack R. Wilhelm raises me as if I was his own. God places Father Silva in my life at college, and Don Duns, and my life is redirected from self defeating behavior into a life, as Nouwen says, of a 'Wounded Healer.' My family never gives up on me even when I am pondering giving up on myself. My fraternity provides me with brothers I never had but needed. Softball empowers me to find the joy of coaching. Can God make it anymore clear to me...Trust. Have Faith. Believe. It Will Be Alright. I Am Here For You.
So I surrender to the fact that even with all of my character defects, you will still be my friends. I give up the negativity and doubt that the Dark Voice wants me to focus on. I quit my job as endless questioner and 'what if' specialist. Each year I cry, and now I know why, when Bill Murray, in the movie Scrooged, says, "It's a Miracle. And you can have the Miracle. And once you have it, you're going to want it again. And you're going to want everyone to have it. And you can be someone's Miracle." We may believe different things and in different ways, but I believe in you. And I believe in me. And I believe, as Dr. Marcus Borg said, that the God who buoys up in life will buoy us up in death. That's all I have got for you today, save this...
"Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow." Surrender to the Faith you have always had within you and stop fighting it. Open your eyes and see. Open your ears and hear. Open your heart and feel the love of God that has always been there for you. It's a miracle!
Blessings and Love,
Will
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