Lessons Taught & Learned

When I studied theology and philosophy in college and graduate school, I read books of wisdom from several traditions and perspectives. I remember, and have passed on, Kierkegaard's proposal that, "Death is the ultimate teacher." It should teach us to be present, he suggested, in each moment of each day. To not take time for granted or people for that matter. Marcus Borg illuminated the 'death denying' part of American culture where everything new is better, and we can all just stay young at least in the commercials.

As I have been spinning and running on my own self created treadmill - merry go round in life, I see clearly that the realization of my cancer is like a hand that has reached into my life, stop the spinning and the going around, and has said, "Listen. Learn. Pay attention. Focus." And even, "Be grateful." It is not like I was wasting a lot of time, but I was drifting, operating with a subconscious thought of no end in site, a pseudo immortality. I am not an expert. I have had cancer apparently for awhile and knowledge of it for just six days, but here is what I have learned so far.

1. People are amazing. Calls from old and out of touch friends. Current and former students. Folks in my own life that I did not know were cancer survivors offering their help and wisdom. The cancer club is a large fraternity.

2. Each moment is a miracle. I always knew that. I am now reminded of it often and loudly.

3. The word oncologist is much less scary when you have cancer than when you do not. I used to not look at the sign in the Corvallis Clinic when I was going to an appointment somewhere else. Now I await with hope my meetings this week with the oncology teams.

4. Prayer works. I have felt good this week and have felt lifted by the positive thoughts and petitions on my behalf. I am not saying I think it always equals a cure, but I am saying that it does lift the person's spirit who is being held up. So please, continue!

5. The hardest part so far is watching the impact of the dis-ease on the people around me, especially my children Christa, Sami, (their spouses Brandon and Steve as well) JJ, and Hannah. I have had what we have come to call an 'emotional interlude', aka crying session with each of them individually and I see now that cancer is a family and friends disease housed in one person but spilling doubt and fear into everyone's else's lives. Donna is a rock. She has always been the emotional stability in our family. She has cared for the hurting all her life. But the children. This is the part of cancer I hate the most right now. And I hate it with great passion!

Corvallis High School Principal Matt Boring told me that I had gotten a fence and scoreboard for the girls softball field from the Corvallis School District in one year,  therefore I should be able to successfully battle cancer. University of Redlands Chaplain John Walsh said he would like to be in the room when I told cancer what I thought of it. Humor is therapeutic. Associate Athletic Director Henry Villegas of the University of New Mexico told me he could not wait until I was cured to hear my testimony. One survivor told me to write down one thing each day that I count as a blessing. I will share that list sometime soon.

My friend Rob Durbin, himself a survivor, told me today to "Let people help you." And I am and will.
I am much better being of assistance to you than I am receiving it, but as I told Rev. Clay Stauffer today on the phone from Woodmont Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, my plan at this point is to be the miracle. And I cannot be the miracle without God, the Doctors, and you. I cannot control the physical parts of cancer, but I can control my attitude. It takes a hit at night but your continued thoughts, texts, emails, calls, and prayers help me at a time when I need it most. The joy truly is in giving, but no one gets to give unless someone receives. I am open for reception!

This week I will meet with surgical and medical oncologists. I will keep you posted. I also promise to pay attention to what is happening in me and around me and share this knowledge with you. I am a teacher, and teaching is what we do. But I am clearly also a student of real life experiences that have already put my learning on high alert. Blessings to you all and help me be hopeful by being hopeful yourselves. As John Belushi said in Animal House, "It wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. It's over when we say it's over."

Will Keim