Today was a beautiful day in Corvallis. Clear blue skies, warm temperatures, and a slight breeze. I was able to spend a little time in the garden with Hannah staking up the green beans and the English cucumbers. Sami, her husband Steve, and JJ had two softball games today in city league and won both. Christa and her husband Brandon took a day at home with my grandchildren Addie and Harvey to rest and relax. Grandma made enchiladas for everyone.
And Donna? She worked all day on our taxes and when she wasn't helping one of the children with moving, or picking things up, or getting ready for the school year, she was working on my notebook which now contains all of my doctor information, test results, diagnosis, future appointments, insurance and other numbers, and my health directive. My blog tonight is dedicated to her. The hardest working woman in America.
We haven't had a Hallmark Channel story book marriage. We have worked hard and worked through things. We've made it work. I am not the easiest person in the world to live with. Through everything that has happened...my parents sickness and death, her step dad and birth dad's passing, four premature births, and dealing with my elderly family members in daily care...she just simply stepped up. Facing my first surgery tomorrow to remove a small intestine blocking tumor, she worked to make sure we had all the information filled out, pre-registered, and has a list of questions she intends to ask my doctors tomorrow to push the treatment schedule up to its quickest pace.
I remember walking down the hallway in my home when my Mother was living and seeing Donna on the bedroom floor cutting my Mother's toenails. I hadn't given that one thought. She changed my Uncle Jerome, visited my Cousin Bruce, listened to my Aunt Mary, helped take care of her Dad when he passed, gave her heart and soul to Corvallis High School students, then took a break to give blood.
The first time I saw her she was dressed as Pippy Long Stockings at Whittier College and she was on roller skates. Somehow I could not get her out of my mind. She was a great student, sang in the choir, and played intercollegiate tennis. She would only see me if I would go to the Library with her. That is probably why I finished my Master's degree. She stood by me during the ten year Ph.D. journey, and has raised four amazing, wonderful, caring, and loving children while I travelled and spoke.
With all the miles we have travelled, I remain thankful for the night she said she would marry me. I believe most men marry above their station in life. I am at the top of that list. Tomorrow begins what I have begun to call my 'negotiation' with cancer. All of you have helped me stay positive, keep my faith, and my hope for a long life. When Donna heard I had cancer, she just went to work. A relentless force for good and a person willing to put in the time to care and love.
Rob Durbin, a cancer survivor and friend, told me that there was a man at OHSU who was cleared to go home after treatment and asked if he could stay another week because there was nobody to come get him. So sad. And there's Donna, sitting in my room reading while I receive a six hour transfusion. Helping me do the liquid diet today so that Dr. Peter Hudson can get about his work tomorrow. Washing the sheets today because the form said to do that and reminding me to use the special soap to get ready for surgery. She is a force of nature and everyone who knows her is better for knowing her.
She will run with Sami getting ready for the Hood To Coast running race at 5 a.m. tomorrow, then take time to stop and call me at 6:00 a.m. to make sure I am ready to checkin at 7:30 a.m. She'll take me to the hospital with some help from our children, make some calls during the surgery, and be there when I come out of recovery. I have never known a more selfless, hard working, stubborn, and caring person.
This I guess is a long way to go to say "I love you Donna." And I thank God you are in my corner. I am going to have to live a lot longer to show you how much you have meant to me. I never could pay you back but I can live to show you my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood because you made it that way.
Will
A great tribute to a great woman! Like you, I married way above my station in life and am forever grateful. I'm reminded of a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago when we were discussing our spouses. He said "look at us, we're just two guys who tricked a pretty girl into marrying us." You are part of that club too my friend.
ReplyDeleteI had a cancer scare 10 years ago. I ended up at OHSU having my big loaf of bread sized spleen removed. Six days in the hospital followed by two weeks at brother Dave's house in recovery.....mustering the strength to walk to the end of the cul de sac a mere four houses away. I was so amazed at the strength and focus of my wife. I remain in awe of her and of women like her. Face it, they are tougher and smarter than us. They birth children. They know how to care for others. All we can do is be grateful, every day :-)
You are in our thoughts and prayers. You have maybe the single best support system you could ask for in your wife. She is a rock star - one doesn't need to be around her for very long to figure that out!
ReplyDeleteCameo Bogatin
What a great tribute to a great woman. She is a force of nature, for sure. I'm not great at remembering to check this site, so am spending my Sunday morning coffee time catching up on your blogs. It is clear to me that you are a force of nature to be contended with yourself. I can see exactly why you two "hooked up" and worked hard to make life together work. Please remember that Mike and I would be happy to remove some chores from both of your lives: grocery shopping, cleaning, yard work, cooking. You name it. Can pick you up and take your to chemo and bore you for a few hours, though I'd bet we wouldn't be bored! Hugs!
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